Suggestion to give to an old person
misecmisc1
I am a HinduIndia Veteran
Hi All,
Yesterday I along with my parents went to my friend's house to meet them and to see my friend's grandfather. I sat beside my friend's grandfather. He was a very intelligent, hard-working person, who started a small shop, which is now being taken care by my friend's father. Still sometimes my friend tells me that his father asks for some business decision advice from his grandfather. But the physical situation of his grandfather has deteriorated much over the last 5 months. I do not know much details about his current medical situation, but what I heard is he is now 24 hours on bed and is going to be on bed for the remaining part of his life.
when yesterday I sat beside his grandfather, I saw Shreemad Bhagwad Geeta along side on the table, next to his bed. I became curious and asked him if he has read it, then he said he is reading it these days. Since I have already read it, so I told him that I had read it and it is very insightful. Then he started talking to me about it, about rebirth and karma. Then he asked me that how can he now create good karma for himself, since he is on bed now and is not even able to sit on bed by himself. I said to him that I will let him know.
I was thinking of suggesting him to have good thoughts for others - but I don't know would it really help him make good karma. In other words, just having some thoughts for the good for others, without having the real intention behind it - will it make good karma for him?
Also, what things can I suggest him to do in his these last days so that he can make good karma for himself, keeping the fact in mind that he cannot get up from bed by himself and he will be on bed for 24 hours for almost all the remaining days of his life from now on?- since he cannot even get up from the bed by himself, I cannot ask him to do sitting meditation and laying down meditation may also not work, as he will usually sleep due to his medicines.
So please suggest. Thanks for your help in advance.
Comments
Difficult. Perhaps he could write some letters, express his compassion and make peace with the people in his life. Good karma is more often an expression of a life lived well over time, but by communicating what is in your heart you can try to clear the decks.
Isn't it curious how people get more interested in spirituality as they get older and come closer to death. But it has struck me as being better to integrate these things into ones life at an earlier stage.
Hi All,
Any mantra chanting, which could help to create good karma, if there is any such mantra, then please suggest.
Is there anything he needs to be more comfortable? Equipment for example?
He could cultivate metta or good will toward all. He can dedicate his karma to the benefit of all beings. Correct situation, correct response. Every time he smiles and asks someone how they're doing, he's generating good karma.
hi @SpinyNorman i think i may have not understood your question properly. what i am getting from your question is - you are asking if currently he is feeling uncomfortable, then how can be given something through which he can get up on his own? if this is your question, then sadly the answer is since his legs have become too weak and he has some problems in his back, so without support from somebody, he may not be able to get up.
but when i talked to him, even in this condition, he is not feeling uncomfortable. He was asking me how can he create good karma in this situation and I said to him that I will let him know. today I was thinking of telling him that in his thoughts he can think for the well-being of all sentient beings - but since he might not be having that intention, so without the intention just having the thought, would it create good karma for him?
the question is: what can my friend's grandfather do to create good karma for him? he is not acquainted with computers, so anything connected with internet is not an option for him.
No, I was thinking of things like a TV or radio or something, things to pass the time.
the question is coming to - thoughts of good will, without having the real intention for good will, but having an intention to create good karma for oneself - will thoughts of good will in this situation also produce good karma?
he has TV in his room, but since he is reading Shreemad Bhagwad Geeta for the last few weeks, he is now more interested in creating good karma for himself to have a good rebirth.
A cheap date others have found useful: Sit down/lie down comfortably. Without anything artificial -- just naturally -- breathe in and breathe out. Pay attention, but don't make it solemn. At the end of the third exhalation, smile.
Do this three or four times ... or more, if you like.
I guess it depends who you ask. Some say that yes, the intention behind thought alone is enough of a deed to produce karma. Others say not until you act on that thought. I haven't read that much about it, it makes sense to me that intentional thought can produce karma, but more so in the way that your intentional thought will impact your emotions and will impact how you act/react in your life. I'm not really clear in understanding how a thought alone can have a direct impact.
Chanting mantras is supposed to help with karma, there are those that are supposed to help cleanse bad karma and those that help build good karma. To me, it's always been explained that doing those chants and such are a way to open the heart to skillful action rather than the chanting alone being the only thing you need to do.
He will still interact with his world, with the people he does see. Working with his thoughts so that he has a compassionate, kind, grateful heart towards those who are caring for him will help. My first thought was along with what @Kerome said, that perhaps if he has any regrets, people he has hurt he might write them a nice letter.
If he doesn't already, he could consider becoming a vegetarian.
I read just a brief section of an article that said that one thing Hindus do (I know you didn't say he is Hindu, just making a leap because of his choice of the Bhagawad Geeta in reading) is to accept the karmic lessons they have learned. You might find the article helpful, it has a section of people who are ill and/or nearing death, and has some information in it about thoughts and karma and how they relate. It was written by a nurse so it is from her perspective. I found it interesting.
http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/733892_3
any mantras for cleansing of bad karma and building good karma, please. Even though my friend's grandfather is a Hindu, he was more of a materialist person till now and had nothing much to do with religion, so in a way he is open to other religions too, as he has some Muslim and Christian friends and also he has respect for Jains, Buddhists, Sikhs etc.
@misecmisc1 you've been round this forum long enough now to be able to have the confidence and know-how about these things yourself. What about the Mantras you would suggest?
And he's a good deal older than you. He probably has a few ideas himself.
I am always hesitant about loading stuff onto those who are at a stage in life where abandoning baggage is a near obligation...
the one and only mantra is
a thought is the effect of a past experience (good or bad)
If one has practiced in life, then mantras, chants and prayers may be practiced with ease to some good effect when approaching death. However, if one has no previous practice or understanding it might become a burden. Really depends on the individual. A couple of suggestions: Make peace with family and friends. Boundless karma here. In addition to contemplation on impermanence (if tolerable) There is a Tibetan practice known as animal liberation (i.e. saving life, as directly opposed to the cause that was taking lives). So, maybe releasing a bird from a small cage through a window might accomplish this practice. Perhaps this could be said to generate good karma. Tonglen practice may allow one to intend to take on the suffering of all sentient beings on inbreath while giving compassion and loving kindness to all sentient beings on outbreath. Another form of creating white karma. Just suggestions. Very, very difficult to do and say all right things at this time. Being present is probably more important than helping, though the urge is overpowering.
Drive carefully
Here to help
and now back to the dharma advice
perhaps buy some mantra cd's and play them while talking about what they represent. Having that intention is just as good as having the right action, in this case.
Right:
-understanding
-thought
-speech
-action
-livelihood
-effort
-mindfulness
-concentration
As you already know... you don't need to be travelling to visit the homeless and feeding the hungry to be practicing these. He is not physically able to do this in his current state, but that is in no way an impediment. If he is not already familiar with these, start a discussion with him. You have much knowledge to share. Also, if he is open to the idea, I think you should discuss with him how his past actions, thoughts, efforts, etc are still a contributor to his karma. Also, if he feels he has a collection of bad karma from his life, remind him that he's not going to a place where he'll have his bottom boiled by demons for all eternity..... he "gets another chance" for lack of a better phrase. That's an oversimplification, but it may comfort him to think of it that way. If he uses his experience in this lifetime to apply to some good karma next time around, then samsara is doing its job. It shouldn't be a scary thing to be going through samsara and dhukka. It's always an opportunity for growth. He has nothing but more experience to look forward to.....
(now I'm a baby buddhist, so if I'm really really oversimplifying these concepts to a fault, please tell me, but in this case, for a gentleman who has a relatively short period of time to practice, I guess I'm just thinking, any practice is good karma, no?)
I suggested him to have loving-kindness thoughts for others. But he asked me how to develop that real intention behind it, without practically doing anything, but he just lying in the bed and thinking about it - then since i had no answer for him, I said to him that I would let him know. So what should I suggest him about how to develop real intention? Also if suppose he has difficulty in generating the real intention for good for others, then if he just thinks about these loving-kindness thoughts, would he still be able to make good karma for him? Please suggest. Thanks in advance.
yes'm. He is the only one who can plant the seed of intention for the sake of his own karma. It may be easier to do if he thinks of specific persons. He can treat it almost like a traditional prayer, if that would be more accessible to him. ex: "i visualize jon having success at work." "I visualize betsy healthy and happy." and so forth. The more detail he can imagine, the more good energy goes out into the world, and therefore the more karma, but just the effort of trying is generating good stuff.