My Latest Teacher (A Kundo Short Story)....
Kundo
Sydney, Australia Veteran
PAIN
On April 22, I fractured my left ankle playing in my (last ever) soccer game for my local club. It was a lovely sunny morning - my warm up had produced my best moves yet (I am was goalie) and straight off the bat I was executing some pretty awesome saves (for a 40-something). Then - it happened.
I had just saved a particularly devious shot and the girl who had kicked it just kept coming. So I planted my feet down and braced. She hit me, I fell pretty much 90 degrees to the left and my ankle let rip an almighty crack. Then I let rip the most bloodcurdling scream I’ve ever produced in my life. And I screamed, and I screamed. I couldnt’t do anything else. I have NEVER EVER EVER felt anything like it before (and I’ve broken 18 bones in my 40-something life). There were three other games playing and they all stopped and stared. So my fiance carried me off the field, the club’s management supplied ice, and other first aid items and I layed down on the ground and bawled my eyes out - not the dainty girly cries - the full on snot nosed, panda eyes (but I had no make up on), body convulsing cries that are inconsolable.
So long story short, the paramedics arrived, gave me the wonder drug pen with pethidine and I was pretty much stoned for the next 1.5hrs. Apparently I gave a comprehensive diagnosis of the injury to the ER doctor who was impressed with my thesis. After some too-ing and fro-ing about whether they were going to operate, they put me in a sexy cam boot
and discharged me with crutches and some very strong prescription painkillers. But not before the pethidine wore off and I was writhing about the bed in agony.
Over the course of the ensuing 6 weeks, I have learnt to listen pain and what it has to teach me (how to be patient). I was exceedingly lucky that, as a contractor and newbie at work (I’d been there 4 weeks when I did this), my boss allowed me to work from home until I could walk with no crutches. This is my second week back at work. But my CONSTANT companion has been a whiny little bitch called Pain. Pain really gives me the dirts. Popping up her ugly little head at the most inconvenient and awkward times. No waiting for the right time or place - she just yells “Hey! I want attention and I want it NOW”. The first three weeks were the WORST. EVER. Every two hours, I had to take in alternate times - ibuprofen and paracetamol and codeine. I didn’t sleep properly because I would wake up with Pain leaning over me with a smirk “Sup?”
But on the fourth week I thought, hang on, I have all this time that Pain actually buggers off and leaves me alone. I can’t always sleep so I think I’ll meditate. So I did. And by the end of the fourth week, I was making Pain wait her turn. When I was meditating and she’d show up, at first I was like “F$$k off bitch”, but then I thought she might be a bit quieter if I invited her to meditate with me. At first she was so OTT that it would never last long. But now three weeks later, I can get her to shut up for about 30 mins. Pain’s not so intense now either, she’s more chill, but still likes to poke me every so often “I’m still heeeeere” - but it’s ok. She still arrives at inconvenient times (like when I have a problem situation now I’m back at work), but I find I can handle her with more calm now. And now that I can walk sans crutches and walking stick (still in that sexy boot though), I’m not so grumpy when Pain turns up.
I expect Pain to stick around for the winter (3 months), but I’m pretty sure she’ll POQ when we rock up to the fracture clinic for the next x-ray and consultation. Doctors and nurses have a great way of shutting her up very quickly. But I hope to teach her more about meditation. I’ve already expanded on the Four Noble Truths and I’ll try to get her to wrap her head around the Eightfold Noble Path. We’ll see.
Given I’ve snapped the ligament in my ankle and it’s gone forever, I expect Pain might visit occasionally, and I’ll welcome her for a short time - most likely with a seat beside me on the meditation mat.
Comments
@Kundo -- Tnx for the tale.
When I once complained to my Zen teacher (abbot of a Japanese monastery) about leg pain when sitting in meditation (zazen), he said he knew what I was talking about: "For the first seventeen years, it was pretty painful for me too."
Yes, that shut me up.
@Kundo , The above 'photo is now my screensaver... just so serene, tranquil and meditative.... so you!
Love it, and thank you for your narrative.
I may be undergoing all manner of different procedures soon, which will involve some minor to major surgical intervention... we shall see.... that picture will help to see me through, as will your story....
@Kundo . Awesome!!!! Good for you. Pain is NOT an easy one. Becoming patient with pain is a big achievement. Awesome work but I'm not surprised. You wear awesome well.
Always knew you were a Jedi.
Best of luck if and when @federica . ???
Thank you @Socair. I will keep my treasured sangha apprised....
I like the anthropomorphing of pain. It reminds me of intrusive voices being my constant companion for awhile some time ago.
?️?️❤️❤️ Thanks my friend
Pain isn't a friend but a necessary annoyance and a wonderful teacher.
The stones or the moon boot photo?
Moonboot is still a better story than Carlton ???
hobbles away
Good question!
Ouch!! You are cruel mate......give us 3 years.
I've been saying that for the last 15
@Jason in a recent thread, provides a very good quote on the fickle/f#ck-all nature of over whelming pain. It reminds me of a lame lama who was in a temporary state of Buddha Being due to excrutiating pain ...
I believe the mantra/chant is
OUR OUCH OUCH OUCH
OW WOW
OUT OUT OUT
Pain has many forms, physical, emotional and psychological as @Jeffrey mentions ...
Teachers. Some are wrathful.
Metta your pain?
Strong teacher. Strong practice is.
Many of the truths that we cling to depend on our point of view. – Yoda
http://morecoolquotes.com/famous-yoda-quotes/
Coolest moonboot! found your post very inspiring @Kundo - like @federica I'm awaiting medical tinkering at present. Really not good at hospitals! Good outcomes to all ❤
I have an appointment today at our 'local' hospital (28 miles away.... such are the joys of NHS cutbacks!) to see my neurologist about my lower left leg.... Those in the know, will know I've had a few problems with it.... I'll report back, if anyone is interested.... @Kundo, it's decision time!
Kick em in the bollocks ????
Thank you @kando ??
.
.
It was a she, I was lying down, and the experience was mildly frustrating....
Our hospital is twenty five miles away, that's if I don't have to go to Belfast! - good luck with it all @Federica ❤ do report back, we'll have to have a temple on site for prayers.
No, I haven't totally lost the plot... This random comment was in fact a response to a previous comment by @Socair which, for some inexplicable reason (only known to himself!) he subsequently decided to delete, without warning...
Which makes anyone commenting on said, now-disappeared comments, look utterly bonkers.
More referrals, and an almighty cock-up with who's responsible for what... still in the mill for grinding!
I hate people who make me look bonkers, it's just too easy! I am also getting passed around like a medicine ball at present, consultants, pre opp nurses, anaesthetists' all have their own totally contrary ideas about what is best for me! These are the times that try your meditation practice to the limit
Yep.
Strangely hearing of @federicas and your real difficulties makes my present tension pale into insignificance ... I can solve mine with meditation and my new daily yoga and some tiger balm ...
TAYATA OM BHEKANDZE BHEKANDZE MAHA
BHEKANDZE RANDZA SAMUNGATE SOHA
I just wanted to add that I’m happy to be in good health, excepting a little sunburn.
But I’m sending you both metta and good wishes.
Don't have to worry about sunburn in Ireland, as afflictions go it's one of the best
I'd post a photo of one of Father Dougal's sunburn holiday snaps here if I could - remember Father Ted anyone?