On April 22, I fractured my left ankle playing in my (last ever) soccer game for my local club. It was a lovely sunny morning - my warm up had produced my best moves yet (I am was goalie) and straight off the bat I was executing some pretty awesome saves (for a 40-something). Then - it happened.
I had just saved a particularly devious shot and the girl who had kicked it just kept coming. So I planted my feet down and braced. She hit me, I fell pretty much 90 degrees to the left and my ankle let rip an almighty crack. Then I let rip the most bloodcurdling scream I’ve ever produced in my life. And I screamed, and I screamed. I couldnt’t do anything else. I have NEVER EVER EVER felt anything like it before (and I’ve broken 18 bones in my 40-something life). There were three other games playing and they all stopped and stared. So my fiance carried me off the field, the club’s management supplied ice, and other first aid items and I layed down on the ground and bawled my eyes out - not the dainty girly cries - the full on snot nosed, panda eyes (but I had no make up on), body convulsing cries that are inconsolable.
So long story short, the paramedics arrived, gave me the wonder drug pen with pethidine and I was pretty much stoned for the next 1.5hrs. Apparently I gave a comprehensive diagnosis of the injury to the ER doctor who was impressed with my thesis. After some too-ing and fro-ing about whether they were going to operate, they put me in a sexy cam boot
and discharged me with crutches and some very strong prescription painkillers. But not before the pethidine wore off and I was writhing about the bed in agony.
Over the course of the ensuing 6 weeks, I have learnt to listen pain and what it has to teach me (how to be patient). I was exceedingly lucky that, as a contractor and newbie at work (I’d been there 4 weeks when I did this), my boss allowed me to work from home until I could walk with no crutches. This is my second week back at work. But my CONSTANT companion has been a whiny little bitch called Pain. Pain really gives me the dirts. Popping up her ugly little head at the most inconvenient and awkward times. No waiting for the right time or place - she just yells “Hey! I want attention and I want it NOW”. The first three weeks were the WORST. EVER. Every two hours, I had to take in alternate times - ibuprofen and paracetamol and codeine. I didn’t sleep properly because I would wake up with Pain leaning over me with a smirk “Sup?”
But on the fourth week I thought, hang on, I have all this time that Pain actually buggers off and leaves me alone. I can’t always sleep so I think I’ll meditate. So I did. And by the end of the fourth week, I was making Pain wait her turn. When I was meditating and she’d show up, at first I was like “F$$k off bitch”, but then I thought she might be a bit quieter if I invited her to meditate with me. At first she was so OTT that it would never last long. But now three weeks later, I can get her to shut up for about 30 mins. Pain’s not so intense now either, she’s more chill, but still likes to poke me every so often “I’m still heeeeere” - but it’s ok. She still arrives at inconvenient times (like when I have a problem situation now I’m back at work), but I find I can handle her with more calm now. And now that I can walk sans crutches and walking stick (still in that sexy boot though), I’m not so grumpy when Pain turns up.
I expect Pain to stick around for the winter (3 months), but I’m pretty sure she’ll POQ when we rock up to the fracture clinic for the next x-ray and consultation. Doctors and nurses have a great way of shutting her up very quickly. But I hope to teach her more about meditation. I’ve already expanded on the Four Noble Truths and I’ll try to get her to wrap her head around the Eightfold Noble Path. We’ll see.
Given I’ve snapped the ligament in my ankle and it’s gone forever, I expect Pain might visit occasionally, and I’ll welcome her for a short time - most likely with a seat beside me on the meditation mat.