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Old people and unhappiness

KeromeKerome Love, love is mysteryThe Continent Veteran

Have you noticed that the elderly seem to be more inclined to sadness and unhappiness? I was looking at the audience for the king’s speech on the country’s budget on TV today, and in the audience there seemed to be hardly any people under the age of 60, and they all looked miserable. I wouldn’t want to trade places with any of them...

Carameltail

Comments

  • personperson Don't believe everything you think the void Veteran

    I vaguely remember hearing something about old people actually being happier generally, so I did a quick google and found some articles saying just that.

    https://www.livescience.com/55870-mental-health-older-younger-adults.html

    https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/better-research-is-needed-to-understand-why-elders-are-happier.html

  • federicafederica seeker of the clear blue sky Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    I think this comes as a result of previous experience, attitude, health and a general mind-set regarding prospects... There are many factors contributing to whether the elderly are happy or not.
    All I know is that the more isolated and lonely they are, the less happy that makes them.

    never forget, they're not just 'elderly'.
    They're elderly with a wealth of experience, memories, careers, lost loved ones, and decreasing health.
    Above all, they have limited time: less ahead of them than behind them.

    If you see unhappy elderly people, there's always a reason.
    It's up to us to ask, and see if we can make them less unhappy.

    lobster
  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran

    @Kerome said:
    Have you noticed that the elderly seem to be more inclined to sadness and unhappiness? I was looking at the audience for the king’s speech on the country’s budget on TV today, and in the audience there seemed to be hardly any people under the age of 60, and they all looked miserable. I wouldn’t want to trade places with any of them...

    No...not really ...however I have noticed people of all ages who are inclined to bouts of sadness and unhappiness...

    But I guess if one takes into account.... as the body ages it tends to become more prone to bouts of sickness/ill health, where the immune system does not function as well as it did...So this may well account for the miserable appearance in some older people...

    Thus have I heard....Dukkha is not ageist, it freely distributes unsatisfactiness to any mind that welcomes it...and it does not discriminate...

    Kundo
  • lobsterlobster Veteran Veteran

    Wonderful post @Lionduck
    You are ageing well ...

    Seasoned one might say 💗🌈🦞

  • federicafederica seeker of the clear blue sky Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    @lobster said:
    Wonderful post @Lionduck
    You are ageing well ...

    Seasoned one might say 💗🌈🦞

    (Lionduck a l'orange...?)

    lobsterVastmind
  • LionduckLionduck Veteran Veteran

    @federica
    It is said that the Lotus grows best in a muddy swamp. The muddier the swamp, the more beautiful the Lotus. In the muddy swamp of our age, we are just like the Lotus. We are able to grow and blossom, not in spite of the swamp, but because of it.

    Peace to all

  • seeker242seeker242 Zen Florida, USA Veteran

    @Kerome said:
    I wouldn’t want to trade places with any of them...

    Maybe they said the same thing when they were younger, about older people, and now that is why they are unhappy!

    Fosdick
  • KeromeKerome Love, love is mystery The Continent Veteran

    @Lionduck said:
    It is said that the Lotus grows best in a muddy swamp. The muddier the swamp, the more beautiful the Lotus. In the muddy swamp of our age, we are just like the Lotus. We are able to grow and blossom, not in spite of the swamp, but because of it.

    So do you mean to say that the older you get, the more swamp you have, and the more chance for a lotus to blossom? It makes a certain sense...

  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran Veteran
    edited September 22

    Lucille Ball once said,

    “I cured myself of shyness when it finally occurred to me that people didn’t think about me half as much as I gave them credit for. The truth was, nobody gave a damn… When I stopped being a prisoner to what I worried was others’ opinion of me, I became confident and free.”

    https://insighttimer.com/blog/self-encouragement-when-in-doubt-with-yourself/?utm_campaign=Weekly+Newsletter+-+16th+September+2019_PF_Batch&utm_content=Weekly+Newsletter+-+16th+September+2019&utm_medium=email&utm_source=crm

    I was wondering if anyone else would relate to the above ^

    Have you noticed that the elderly seem to be more inclined to sadness and unhappiness? I was looking at the audience for the king’s speech on the country’s budget on TV today, and in the audience there seemed to be hardly any people under the age of 60, and they all looked miserable. I wouldn’t want to trade places with any of them...

    From the insight timer link above

    _We come into this world naturally curious, open and embodied in our Beingness. It’s not until we get a bit older that we’re conditioned to look outside ourselves for approval, validation and joy. This inevitably leads to a deep sense of self-doubt about our worthiness, loveliness and goodness. We begin to question our own perceptions, look to other people to meet our needs and ultimately feel like an imposter most of the time.

    Despite all this, there’s a place deep inside you – your true self – who knows you are valuable and worthy of love.

    It’s an honor to be here with you, in love and kindness, to offer some encouragement for when you doubt yourself. These practices come from my own self-compassion and healing practices. I hope you find them helpful._

    @Kerome said:

    @Lionduck said:
    It is said that the Lotus grows best in a muddy swamp. The muddier the swamp, the more beautiful the Lotus. In the muddy swamp of our age, we are just like the Lotus. We are able to grow and blossom, not in spite of the swamp, but because of it.

    So do you mean to say that the older you get, the more swamp you have, and the more chance for a lotus to blossom? It makes a certain sense...

    Shoshin
  • LionduckLionduck Veteran Veteran

    @Kerome
    We are already in the swamp. The older we get, the more opportunity we have to enable out Lotus to bloom beautifully.

    federicalobsteradamcrossley
  • lobsterlobster Veteran Veteran

    Lotus in the swamp?

    Tee hee!

    @Jeffrey quoted:
    Despite all this, there’s a place deep inside you – your true self – who knows you are valuable and worthy of love.

  • adamcrossleyadamcrossley Veteran Veteran

    My maternal grandparents are my model of old age done right. They are nearly 80 and quite happy in themselves. They’re physically active, have a rich spiritual life as Quakers, live close to their children and grandchildren, and pursue their interests (namely archeology and family history). They seem settled and peaceful.

    I’d also note that depression affects young adults more often than the elderly.

    But perhaps there is a certain kind of sobering that occurs as we grow older, an understanding of the facts of life. I can imagine this having the appearance of unhappiness, but actually being a steadier, cooler frame of mind. These are just my thoughts. I guess I’ll find out when the time comes!

    Shoshinperson
  • KeromeKerome Love, love is mystery The Continent Veteran

    @adamcrossley said:
    But perhaps there is a certain kind of sobering that occurs as we grow older, an understanding of the facts of life. I can imagine this having the appearance of unhappiness, but actually being a steadier, cooler frame of mind. These are just my thoughts. I guess I’ll find out when the time comes!

    With youth there is a lot of opportunity and a lot of unknowns, in middle age you’ve made a lot of those choices and instead you are more settled in life, the years kind of stretch out in front of you with very few uncertainties.

  • LionduckLionduck Veteran Veteran

    Regardless of age, never stop exploring, never stop seeking, never stop learning. For when you stop, you grow old.

    Peace to all

    lobsterZiggy925
  • adamcrossleyadamcrossley Veteran Veteran

    In reality,
    as in dreams,
    I expect no visitor—
    but old age
    keeps calling.

    —Zen Master Ryokan, c. 1820

  • lobsterlobster Veteran Veteran

    As long as there is one upright man, as long as there is one compassionate woman, the contagion may spread and the scene is not desolate. Hope is the thing that is left to us, in a bad time. I shall get up Sunday morning and wind the clock, as a contribution to order and steadfastness.
    https://www.brainpickings.org/2014/05/06/e-b-white-letters-of-note-book/

    Seems like a plan for all ages ...

    person
  • KeromeKerome Love, love is mystery The Continent Veteran

    Very true... today my stepfather had a visit from an old age specialist, and they asked him what he would still like to achieve. I thought it was a very appropriate question, some things are for all ages.

  • Ziggy925Ziggy925 New Colorado New

    It's a state of mind. At 72 I know a lot of older people who can't wait for the sun to come up tomorrow and a lot of younger people who are miserable every day. Older people have a bad habit of hanging out with other older people who only talk about death and disease. My dad would pick up the morning paper and turn to the obituaries. I try to hang out with people who are positive and walk away from those who only preach gloom and doom. Works for me. :-)

    lobster
  • lobsterlobster Veteran Veteran

    Well said @Ziggy925 B)

    "I don’t want to suffer, so excuse me if I excuse myself from situations that suck all of my energy."
    ~ Sylvester McNutt

    Maha-plan ... ✅🥳🤱🏾

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