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What is vs what I wish was
ktc2
R'lyeh New
in Meditation
I find my mind thinking again and again, "How I wish what is, was what I wish was".
Is it good that I'm aware of this? Or is it bad to not know better?
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Those of us who can hardly think straight, use Buddhism to accept things that are as they are. This over time changes us for the better.
It is better to be aware, rather than ignorant, don't you think?
Wanting things to be as you desire them is very human, but it is also the way to samsara.
"Knowing is half the battle" ~ GI Joe
The other half being 25% red lasers and 25% blue lasers
Being aware of our mental patterns allows us to shape and direct, or let go of them. Awareness isn't necessarily easier or more comfortable, but its a needed condition to be able to change suffering states into happier ones.
Awareness is a start.....don't beat yourself up. Just ride it out.
This too shall pass.
Of course it's good to be aware, but don't think this is anything but the start. Do you see the next reaction and the next though? Can you sustain silence? The path unfolds more flowers and mysteries than you can surmise but ya gotta walk it. Best wishes.
One only knows better if one knows better....
Wishful thinking is a state of mind we have all at times succumb to ...Buddhists have a term for this Tahna (Craving) the second Noble Truth...We ( or should I say the ego self) want things to be different from what they are...more to its liking...and when they are not, feelings of unsatisfactoriness arise, and if one continues to cling to ones wants Dukkha will continue ......
A quick recap of The Four Noble Truths
"Sabbe dhamma nalam abhinivesaya" Nothing whatsoever should be clung too...
I don't think it's wrong for a person to wish for things, but wise to analyze if what you wish for is wise or to analyze why do you wish for that? What values do you have that you are wishing as such?
Aspirational bodhicitta is a wishing as something you could look for Buddhist discussion of an example of a wise wishing. Trungpa Rinpoche I guess talked about the ego mandala and the mandala of awareness. Are your wishing thoughts serving the ego or are they serving compassion and wisdom?
A mandala in this context is a kind of pattern around a central influence and I guess the visual 'art' mandalas can graphically symbolize a central idea. I used to have a calendar with a different mandala and idea each day example Valentines day was a hearts mandala etc.
Having wholesome types of desire are traditionally identified as Chanda
From an article in tricylcle.org. I found the whole article worth a look.
https://tricycle.org/magazine/say-it-right/
"Nonviolent Communication has led me to the via positiva—an understanding that expressing my needs, without making them into demands, can be as much a path to growth as letting them go. Needs aren’t the problem; it is rigidly clinging to a particular strategy to meet them that produces suffering."
I think it is very good that you are aware of this. Next you will be aware of it while it is happening. After a while perhaps you will be aware of it before it happens.
A good excercise for when we notice something lacking is to be grateful for what we do have. Even if it is just a breath of fresh air.
It isn't that we don't know better though is it? Maybe that was true in the past but not right now.
Distractions are like clouds how they obscure clarity.