Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Examples: Monday, today, last week, Mar 26, 3/26/04
Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@newbuddhist.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take up to 48 hours. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.

morning doubt - not helping

ShanJieshi2ShanJieshi2 bahia blanca Veteran

This morning I came across a boy with a sprained foot and a broken wheel on his bike.
I wanted to help him but I noticed that he was coming from some all-night party and maybe drugs.
I felt bad for not wanting to help him as he intended.
So I left him limping with the bike on the rim.
I had to go ten blocks and he was very young, no problem, but sometimes I refute my impulse to take my car out and drive him and leave him at the door of the house.
Then I think...doesn't he have family or friends?
And then I think about the consequences of also going out at night even though he was hurt...his actions on Saturday could only lead to a painful Sunday.
I should have handled the situation better.

Comments

  • ShanJieshi2ShanJieshi2 bahia blanca Veteran

    A few years ago Ven. Dharmakara was reluctant to denounce one of his attackers because one of them had already been in prison twice and the third would have been the final one. Dharmakara ended up in the hospital with some broken bones. What an act of charity?
    Well, sometimes I don't even give them a first chance to show themselves to be delinquents or poor boys battered by the night and alcohol.
    All my compassion goes out to them and may help come to them in other ways.

    JohnCobb
  • Ah ha! You are human and do not live up to your idealisations.
    Ain't we all … o:)

    BunksJohnCobb
  • BunksBunks Australia Veteran

    As Ajahn Brahm would say “good? Bad? Who knows?”
    Perhaps by not helping him you’re teaching him a better lesson….
    Every parent faces this dilemma when raising children. When do we step in and help them or when do we leave them be to learn for themselves?
    Carry on…

    JohnCobb
  • ShanJieshi2ShanJieshi2 bahia blanca Veteran

    By saying "no" I make bigger and better contributions so that everyone can do and give their best.
    But it certainly shakes up the whole psychological structure.
    Are they taking advantage with instant gratification? or are they needy? I won't know, I'll let my intuition guide me.
    let's throw that stone into the pond and see the ripples that form.

    Bunks
  • I'll let my intuition guide me

    Good plan.
    https://www.buddhanet.net/pdf_file/intuitive-awareness.pdf

  • BunksBunks Australia Veteran

    @ShanJieshi2 said:
    By saying "no" I make bigger and better contributions so that everyone can do and give their best.
    But it certainly shakes up the whole psychological structure.
    Are they taking advantage with instant gratification? or are they needy? I won't know, I'll let my intuition guide me.
    let's throw that stone into the pond and see the ripples that form.

    Yes! Intuition is a powerful tool.

  • In a sense, if you were meant to help you would have helped,

    Back in pre Covid days. I would often pick up hitchhikers, some days I may not have seen them until I've driven passed, at times I've stopped turned around and gone back to pick them up (this was meant to be) other times I've driven on (this was also meant to be)....

    Karma's funny that way...

    BunkslobsterJeroen
  • JeroenJeroen Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter Netherlands Veteran

    I was approached by a homeless man while waiting for a train, he asked for some change, and i had to admit i didn’t carry any cash. Perhaps he would have died of the bottle of whiskey he might have bought with money I had given him…

    Bunks
  • ShanJieshi2ShanJieshi2 bahia blanca Veteran

    @FleaMarket said:
    It was in not being helped that I learned compassion for others.
    It was in being helped that I learned compassion for myself.

    very nice

    Bunkslobster
  • @FleaMarket said:
    It was in not being helped that I learned compassion for others.
    It was in being helped that I learned compassion for myself.

    Exactly so. <3

    I am so compassionate I allow others to think well of me, do puja and dedicate merit my way - just so they can progress. I am practically a saint in this regard. o:)

    Mantras for my benefit also welcome.

    I iz so good to you all … o:)

    FleaMarketBunks
  • FleaMarketFleaMarket Newbie, not Veteran

    @lobster said:
    Exactly so. <3

    I am so compassionate I allow others to think well of me, do puja and dedicate merit my way - just so they can progress. I am practically a saint in this regard. o:)

    Mantras for my benefit also welcome.

    I iz so good to you all … o:)

    My mind's ego regales on delight of being understood and appreciated for what I created all on my own. Self-congratulations are in order! Wait.. :p

    Bunks
Sign In or Register to comment.