I was just reading U.G. Krishnamurti and he found that “everything in his thoughts came from other people.” That the body was ultimately at peace, and was interested just in survival and reproduction. But all the questions in his mind were either invalid, from made-up suppositions, or they had answered themselves. On reading this, it seemed to me he was right.
I once described what set me on the spiritual journey, see my post on Atisha a few years ago. I think I’ve found an answer in U.G. and he also answered my fundamental question. When you follow Atisha’s recommendation to follow the spiritual path, you are still following the imperative of thoughts to find a continuation beyond death. And that is just the mind, finite and fleeting. No more questions, no more need for mind, beyond the basics of survival.
A voice said to me on waking up a few days ago “you love life”, and I realised it was true. That is why I love nature documentaries, why I feel good about rewilding projects, why I’m proud of nature reserves, why I’m sad about the decline of insects, why I love forests and mountaintops. In a way it means more to me than the spiritual journey, it’s why I don’t have kids or a wife, why I travel by public transport, it is the reason why I’ve lived the life I have. The heart of my life. Bit of a wow moment.
So I’m finished with Atisha and death. Maybe with the spiritual path as well.