Financial independence, maturity and the new generation

Jeroen

I’m coming to the conclusion that financial independence and maturity are necessarily linked. It’s only after you start earning your own money that you become realistic about what you can and cannot afford, and about financial planning for the things you would like. I think that it’s an essential part of maturity, because it brings you to an understanding of the value of your work in the market, and it determines how you relate to the pursuit of excellence and quality.

Let me give an example. I have a cousin, she is now in her mid-thirties and still lives at home. She has a horse and a car with a trailer, which she affords on the financial support of her parents. She has a little side job but doesn’t make enough to support herself. She’s pretty, but is not interested in boyfriends, all she cares about is the horse. Because she’s been insulated from the realities of the world by her relatively well-to-do middle class parents, she still lives with her romantic dreams of horses…

Back when I left home to go to university, it was very normal that at age 22 you’d live independently, get a job and support yourself. That no longer seems to be true? I hear lots of stories of people staying with their parents until their late twenties or into their thirties. It’s a new generation, I get that, but don’t you think it leads to people not really becoming mature in their thinking until way after they become legally adult and have the right to vote?

marcitko

Generally, I agree.

I'd just offer two possible qualifications:

• The Netherlands, like the Scandinavian countries, and the US, are the places where people move out earliest. In poorer countries, yet not the very poorest where you put up a shack and that's that, people move out slower. I am reminded of a fellow student from Uzbekistan who studied with me in England and after experiencing culture shock asked me nearly bewildered with shame: "Is it OK that after I finish this study program my new wife and I share our parent's 2 bedroom flat with them? Buying or renting is just not financially feasible for us at this time, it's not for any of our friends either, it's just not normal to move out early or easily in my country since jobs are badly paid and hard to get and real-estate is comparatively super expensive."
• Have you had a heart to heart talk with your cousin? Before you go all right-wing "it's their fault" on her (I know you are not right-wing), I'd guess there's a good chance that she is struggling in life in general, maybe with mental health, interpersonal relations with those very same parents, or something personal. Sure, some tough love might help, but understanding the underlying problem first would probably help more.

They say that for every ill, there is a good. What they usually skip is that then it's also true that for every good, there is an ill.

"Man has achieved his present position by being the most aggressive and enterprising creature on earth. And now he has created a comfortable civilization, he faces an unexpected problem...The comfortable life lowers man's resistance, so that he sinks into an unheroic sloth...The comfortable life causes spiritual decay..."
~ Colin Wilson

person

As a general rule, my thinking is that maturity comes from responsibility. So being financially independent is a type of responsibility.

I'm not sure how it is in the rest of the world, but here in the US housing costs are becoming incredibly unaffordable. Some figures I can remember off the top of my head are something like in 1980 the cost of the average home was about the cost of the average yearly wage, now the average cost is many multiples, up to 10 times in some markets. And in the 80s a minimum wage worker would need to spend a little less than half their earnings to afford housing, now the average new college graduate has to spend a little less than half their entry level job's earnings.

At least the politicians are starting to talk about it this election cycle.

What I've noticed since about when I turned 40 is that the kids won't get off my damn lawn! Not to mention everyone plays their music so loud now.

Jason

Not everything in life has to revolve around work and money. Just because someone is lucky enough to have a family that allows them the freedom of time to do what they love doesn’t necessarily mean they’re immature simply because they haven’t done what you did in life or have different priorities.

lobster

I will be joining this, if they will have me and Grogu...
https://social.coop/about

Jeroen

Yes, that’s true, the average house here costs about 400.000 euros now, so 10x a medium-paid job’s yearly salary. I recall it was about 3x when I was starting in the games industry in 1998, which was also all the banks would lend you for a mortgage. Wages haven’t moved up with land and house costs.

I was just trying to make the point that a solid grasp of fiscal reality is useful, and is often lacking in the young. A lot of the best things in life are not about money, absolutely. But both the things that are about money, and those that are not, are part of growing up, and avoiding responsibility and independence is not healthy. In my humble opinion.

lobster

Meanwhile, if I haz any money. I will be here as an independent.
https://social.nlnet.nl/@nlnet

Jeroen

In a way it is the lending climate of the banks that sets the price in the housing market. If the banks will lend you a mortgage that you will be repaying until your retirement, then that is what people will pay to own a house. It is a set of house-shaped handcuffs that keep you tied to jobs and earning a decent wage.

Vastmind

Little 8 min vid on the topic. I just had a meeting with our Director last week, emphasizing we have to start addressing these different mindsets, communication styles and expectations coming into the workplace. The numbers are changing, we can’t ignore it.