Not chasing pleasure nor avoiding pain
Jeroen
Luminous beings are we, not this crude matterNetherlands Veteran
One thing that I recently read in Nisargadatta’s book I Am That is that “desire is the memory of pleasure, and fear is the memory of pain”. I’ve for a long time held with a kind of stoicism, of neither chasing pleasure nor avoiding pain, but instead being like a tree and letting the sunshine and the rain come and go as they please.
Now I don’t know where this attitude came from, I haven’t been exposed to real stoic philosophy at any point in my life, but somewhere in my childhood it came to me that this was the way to be in life. This basic enduring has sometimes been good for me, it has kept me from chasing sex or being easily addicted, but it has also had downsides, like when my knees started playing up and I didn’t go see a fysio for a year.
In enduring the sunshine and the rain, and not being easily moved, I have found a kind of wisdom about the passing nature of things. I have been a witness to good events and bad, and have found that with patience personal happiness tends to return.
Comments
I'm in the same camp. I've been looking at this through the Big 5 personality lens lately. Like introversion/extroversion another personality spectrum is emotional stability/neuroticism. I'm an introvert, but I recognize that all things have strengths and weaknesses. I'll never be an extrovert but in order to flourish and prosper in this world I need to develop some extroverted skills.
Likewise as someone who falls on and cultivates qualities of emotional stability there are pros and cons like you mention. Taking things in stride vs not taking care of problems. I think the attitude that helps me be more proactive is self compassion combined with a longer term outlook. Future me will be happier if current me takes steps now to address problems. Obsession or perfectionism hasn't been an issue, my natural temperament I think provides some immunity.
Yes, self compassion, and necessity. I act on things which are needful. Shopping, vacuum cleaning, medical supplies, banking, taxes, garbage disposal.