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Mark,
I like your new avatar. Very becoming of a young man of your stature.
Where ya been? I know we can be pretty opinionated at times, but don't be scared off. All of us have a heart of gold. We're all trying to follow the path just like you. I was quite happy to see a younger person on here. I didn't start checking this out until I was 38 y/o. You have so much more time to put into it.
Just wanted to let you know you were thought of and missed.
Mark,
I like your new avatar. Very becoming of a young man of your stature.
It's just a staff avatar from this website. But it is slightly more mature than the previous one.
Where ya been? I know we can be pretty opinionated at times, but don't be scared off. All of us have a heart of gold. We're all trying to follow the path just like you. I was quite happy to see a younger person on here. I didn't start checking this out until I was 38 y/o. You have so much more time to put into it.
Lol, I haven't been scared off, just busy. The site I mentioned is trying to upgrade to an Invision Power Board and..... lets just say it'd be easier to lick your elbow
Just wanted to let you know you were thought of and missed.
Awwww, thanks!
It's very hard to get work published, especially if you're just a writing poet and not a slam poet or anything like that.
Do you have like a company that you go to specially or do you just try random companies?
you usually shop your manuscript around, and certain publishers won't take the same manuscript as the last. Say the last one wanted ten pages, well this one over will only take five, but the next one wants 8. The rejection slips can be the worst. I've only gotten one kind rejection slip.
I've gotten a few that were personal letters from the editor or whatnot, but I've also gotten some that were bad photocopies where I couldn't even read their rejection, I've had some that were very nice and not only form letters, but had handwritten notes telling me of magazines that might be interested.
Hello Everyone! I new around here and have found some comfort while reading many of the treads..so here's about me....
Name: marybeth
Age: 31
Sign: Pisces
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Brown
Height: 5'8"
Weight: 130 lbs.
Born: Niagara Falls, NY
Currently: Youngstown, NY
Favorite color: green, yellow
Favorite band: too many to mention
Favorite food: again, too many to mention
Favorite movie: I agree with Jason here: Bom yeoreum gaeul gyeoul geurigo bom (Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring)
Favorite book: what ever book I happen to be reading...so it varies almost weekly. this week, Awaking the Buddha Within, by Lama Surya Das. A novel: Mother of Pearl
I was raised Christian but found myself not really connecting with it. In college some 10 years ago, I was required to take three different religion classes. There I learned (not from the profs, but my own realization) that the church as we know it today and the teachings of Christ are different. Through the years I did some reading about it. But it wasn't until the past year or so that I have focused and reflected on it. After joining a few 'sanghas' online, and meeting a Buddhist, I take it more to heart. I try consciously (and sometimes it happens all on its own) to show my Buddha-nature. And I have to say, I am enjoying and embracing life like never before!
Name: Brigid
Age: 38
Sign: Taurus
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Brown
Height: 5'5
Weight: don't know, don't care
Born: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Favorite band: The Rolling Stones
Currently: rural Ontario
Favorite colors: orange, pink, light green, red, light blue, O.K. all of them
Favorite food: Indian
Favorite movie: Babe, Kill Bill 1 and 2, The Party, many others
I'm new to Buddhism, came from a non-religious background although parents are Catholic.
My father took us (me and 4 siblings, I'm the baby) out of church when I was 10 so that we could make up our own minds. Childhood was beautiful and very difficult; violence, alcoholism etc. I love my parents and came home to live with them when my father nearly died of heart failure 3 years ago. Subsequently got permanently injured at work and have been disabled since then.
My recent life has often been a world of physical pain (and emotional) which has brought me back to Buddhism. The injury has been the best thing that I ever did to myself (not on purpose, lol).
After a lot of pain I simply got fed up with suffering and realized I couldn't beat it so I had to join it.
I am mostly interested in love (not romantic). Buddha love.
I over-think, over-analyse, and spend too much time trying to figure it all out.
I'm wide open, semi-awake and alive with bright hope thanks to Buddhism.
I've spent almost half my life trying to build an identity and will now spend the rest of it tearing it down.
I love it here. I love you all and thank you for so warmly welcoming me.
And I'm ready to get to work/play.
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federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
Lol! Oh, right. I forgot. (sigh)
What a bad habit. (It's all that Protestant work ethic indoctrination.)
You are teaching me more peace in a few well chosen responses than I ever learned in therapy. lol!
Now I just have to remember not to forget...:-/
Brigid,
Welcome to our little group. We are a fun filled crowd, and a few people who have a lot of experience who help guide us.
I'm sorry to hear of your injuries. I fell down a flight of stairs about 15 months ago and have gotten to the point that the problems are going to be chronic. I don't like it, but it is what is dealt to me, so I'm learning how to deal with it. After the surgery to fuse my spine, I almost died. That got me to start practicing my understanding of Buddhism.
One thing that this has taught me is to slow down. When I don't, I feel a good deal of pain. Learning to see what is going on inside is always interesting. Since I can't do as much physically as I did before the accident, sometimes I have to just sit or lay still until the pain, spasms or tightness passes. Time to practice a little mindful breathing or what my feelings are.
Again, welcome to the forum. We are most glad to have you here.
Thank you, Jerry! I never came close to death (!), but our experiences are similar. Chronic pain is a great teacher and we learn by necessity, don't we? After two years of steadily diminishing functional abilities, I'm also looking into the possibility of surgery, although my injury is soft tissue. But we'll see. I'll tell you though, I wouldn't change it for a thing. It really solidified my love for Buddhism, like you. And what greater opportunity could there be?
I admire the fact that both you, Brigid and Jery, have turned what most people would call a tragic situation, into a beautiful one. I did not turn to Buddhism under such circumstances but rather because of my attachments. From what I understand thus far in Buddhism, there is no fate or destiny. However, I was wondering...and the best way to describe it is to tell the story (don't worry, it's short lol).
I have always been interested in world religions especially Buddhism and and Tao. I read many sources but never applied to daily life. I read books by the HHDL in high school! I have no idea why since it all makes pretty darn good sense! (Hindsight, certain aspects of my life I did, others I did not...is that possible?) One day this past December I was feeling particularly 'attached' and I was miserable. While browsing through an antique store, I walked past the book section which I never look at. I happened to look over and there proped up on a shelf was Lama Surya Das's book, Awakening the Buddha Within (which by the way I find both extremely insighful and helpful). It's hardly an antique! I grabbed it as if it were going to run away (lol), went straight for the check-out, and left. Scout's honor, that's how it happened.
Since then I have been reading A LOT on Buddhism and have seen a tremendous difference in my daily life! All of a sudden, I cherish everyday, everyone and everything. I suppose I did before bt now i am AWARE of it!
Anyway...I am not searching within for an explanation of my 'brush with fate' (for a lack of better term) but is it ....'what a coincidence' thing???? Any thoughts?
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federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
edited January 2006
"When the student is ready, the Teacher will appear"....
Everyone at some point or another believes that they have come to Buddhism by accident, or that "it" found them.... My personal opinion is that we are all just students waiting for the 'Goodmorning Class!' voice to thunder quietly in our head....
I felt as if 'The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying' had been written entirely, exclusively and solely for me. It was just quietly waiting on the bookshelf fo me to pick it up.
Pick up his two follow-up books if you can... they are worth it. And a fourth book he has written, called 'Letting Go of the Person You Used to Be' is also very good......;)
Regarding Sharpiegirl's question:
I think (beware! I say to myself) that we find what our hearts have opened our eyes to.
Genryu, I don't know about Jerbear, but acupunture worked well for me. However, it's not covered by health care in Canada and it's approx. $50 a pop! Needless to say, a little out of my league.
Name: Keith
Age: 24
Sign: Virgo
Hair: Blonde
Eyes: Blue
Height: 5'11" (thats about 180 cm for the rest of the world)
Weight: 150 lbs.
Born: Sweetwater, TX
Currently: Eugene, OR
Favorite color: Green or Blue (or brown, and I like black too)
Favorite composer: Antonio Vivaldi
Favorite food: anything with rice, but I love veggie stir fry and burritos
Favorite movie: The Dark Crystal
Favorite book: way too many but Id say its a toss up between A People's History of the United States by Howard Zinn and Against His-story, Against Leviathan! by Freddy Perlman
My journey to the Buddha Dharma began as a child when I always liked to sit in the lotus posture, I dont remember why but I liked it. I used to sit on the floor and watch TV some times like this. I distinctly remember the last time I did it was when I was about 8 or 9. It was in class one day during free time and I got up on my desk and put my legs up on my thighs and everybody made fun of me. :sadc:
I was raised as a Southern Baptist. This is, for those who do not know, a very conservative fundamentalist form of Christianity very popular in the US. I and my family were very involved in the church and I did all the activities and went to church 2-3 nights a week and felt very much a born again Christian. This lasted until I was a junior to senior in high school. I began to lose interest because the church I was a part of started breaking apart. People were accusing each other and it was generally not very nice (nor very Christ like for that matter).
So when I went off to college I had stopped going to church and didnt really think about spirituality. I was exposed to a lot of new ideas and began to consider myself an atheist. I was very influenced by science and skepticism and really began to see my former religion as antiquated mysticism. I was a pure materialist for a couple years.
Then I decided after going to college for two years that I had no idea what I wanted to study for my degree and decided to just get a job and try to figure my life out. I was really depressed during this time in my life and I was smoking a lot of marijuana to try to dull the pain. It was during this time that I first exposed my self to Buddhism. I read The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying and Zen Mind Beginners Mind for the first time. While the teachings seemed to be really meaningful it was only an intellectual exercise and I didnt start a sitting practice until later.
Then I moved to Boulder, CO and again became even more interested in Buddhism. This time I started a daily sitting practice as well as reading books. The teachings felt really right, I could identify with them and it really seemed like the Buddha knew exactly how I though and felt. I was drawn out of my depression and seriously cut back on the pot. I start sitting with the local Zen Center and met many wonderful people. I finally quit smoking and everything was going great. Then I met my friend's teacher. There wasnt a resident teacher at the center but there is a monastery up in the mountains that most of the people went to retreats at. Anyway, after I met him I realized that he wouldnt be my teacher. So, while I was still sitting with them I was looking for another group to sit with and another teacher.
Then about a year and a half ago I decided to go on a long vacation. I travelled all around the country and really let my practice decline and I stopped sitting every day. In the past few months Ive started picking up my Dharma books again and have been doing calm abiding meditation every day. Just recently I decided to settle back down again and chose lovely Eugene, OR. I just moved here and only just the other day went to my first group sitting practice at a Tibetan Buddhist center. I loved it and plan on going there from now on.
So sorry for the dissertation length but once I start I just keep on going.
Thanks for having this forum and Ive really enjoyed reading and conversing with you all. I hope to be around for some to to come.
In love and compassion,
Keith
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federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
edited January 2006
Well it's great to have you here. Glad you found a center near you, and that things are panning out...
*Ya can take the Boy out of the Buddha, but you can't take the Buddha outta the boy...!"
*Ya can take the Boy out of the Buddha, but you can't take the Buddha outta the boy...!"
That's a good one, Fede!
Welcome, Keith! Glad to have you here.
Brigid.
P.S. I like the way you signed your post "In love and compassion, Keith".
I'm still old fashioned and love the "letter" like ending. I do it, too.
Brigid,
I love your picture for your avatar. I like black and white photography better than color. I think it forces you to look closer at it.
I wish we could have come to Buddhism sooner. I actually had done some studying on meditation before my injuries. I got extremely angry at some things I read. I'm as equally agnostic as Buddhist, you see. It was what the Buddha said that got me interested. "Come and see" not "Come and believe". Then 9 months after the initial injuries, things started calming down and I really missed meditation. I also realized that I didn't have to agree with every Buddhist teaching in order to follow the Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path. I may change my mind on some of these as I develop more spiritually. I might not. But I'm truly not afraid to question.
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federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
Keith,
You are in good company here. I still question a number of things. Questioning is encouraged by the Buddha, if it is meant to understand, not argue. I am at a point that I still consider myself an agnostic and a Buddhist. Some find that different, but it works for me.
As a former Bible Beater in the Charismatic variety, I understand being in church 2-3 times a week. Just a question and feel free not to answer. Was it hard letting go of your faith? I came into fundamentalism in my late teens-early 20's and it was truly a struggle. Just wondered how it was for you.
Fede,
Your changing avatar is becoming a game, isn't it? I'm always looking forward to see what you're going to do next. No, not a sissy at all. Just because I butter my bread on the other side doesn't mean a number of things.
Rev. Genryu,
Like Brigid, it is extremely expensive. It is approximately 150 bucks per session. At this time, I just can't afford it. Losing my income for half a year beat the living daylights out of my finances. I can no longer work full time, so that is another punch.
In hapchang with deep bow,
Jerry
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federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
edited January 2006
Sorry about the Avatar, but there's a reason... a few days ago, Itried posting the image of a Geisha, and it told me it was too large... Yet yesterday I tried with the latest picture of Audrey Hepburn - realising (stoopid me!!) the minute I did it, that it was waaaay too large, and that I'd have to try and modify the size first, obviously, because no way......
hang on.... it worked......??:scratch:
So today I tried with the geisha, and...
Whaddya know... That worked too...!!
I Think someone has been fiddling the central Control panel to allow us poor IT idiots to do things like that successfully...
How kind!
I'm going back to Audrey now.....
Actually, it got me thinking about my little tag line. Though I really like headbanging music, I find that there is a tagline I liked much better and expresses what is going on in my life right now more appropriately. So it's a good thing.
Sorry - are we supposed to introduce ourselves here? OK bit late but here goes. 49 year old female. Live in France and teach for a living (well that is the job title but most of the time it ends up councelling, clowning and psychology - it's the best job in the world and I love it)
I've been a pagan most of my life and was originally trained in the Wiccan tradition up to HPS. BUT I am becoming more and more disenchanted with the way things are going in the pagan world. I now am a solo practitioner and keep in touch with the circle through the internet. The commercialisation of the craft disgusts me.
I came into contact with Buddhism through my daughter in law and have been taking more and more interest in it, which is why she suggested I come onto this site to learn more.
As I realise that paganism is being corrupted further and further from its original ideas, I realise too that the practices of buddhism are more akin to my own feelings. It speaks to me.
I'm married, have three dogs and no kids (ok so sometimes I DO hit lucky!) and as the name suggests am into knitting, crochet, embroidery etc - love creating things. We travel as much as possible in our beat up old van and lead a quiet life in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere in deepest rural France.
I'm reading and learning, plodding away down the path, I may or may not decide to say I'm a buddhist but that isn't important, it's a label, the important thing is how I lead my life. My path has lead me all over the shop up til now so I shouldn't be surprised it has brought me here - but so far it's been a fascinating journey and I am so looking forward to the rest of it. I've met wonderful people and been brought into contact with all sorts of different religions - long may it continue! BB
Keith,
Just a question and feel free not to answer. Was it hard letting go of your faith? I came into fundamentalism in my late teens-early 20's and it was truly a struggle. Just wondered how it was for you.
I dont mind at all. Well it was a gradual process. Even though I was raised in the church (or maybe because of it) as I got older instead of deepening my devotion to Jesus and god I began to focus more on the motions of Christianity and the friendships I had at my church.
Thinking back on it, in the last years before I went to college and really stopped believing I was going to church so much and being so involved because that was what I had always done. It was more my religion of works and actions than mine of faith. Which, in the Christianity I was taught, is not being a Christian at all! I still said I loved god and Jesus and I would bow my head and pray at church but I wasnt reading the Bible or praying on my own.
Then, as I said, I began to be disallusioned. When my church broke apart and there was all the squabbling and backstabbing from all these people that I had thought were deeply devoted to the love of Christ I began to think that maybe they were just acting like Christians without really being one, too. Maybe all Christians were like this, I thought.
So, it was with open arms that I embraced agnositism, skepticism, and materialism because at least everyone I met or read about seemed to really live as if these things were true.
Thanks Knit,
One thing that occurs with anything that people become interested in, it gets marketed. I've been to a few sites that have apalled me. It was obvious they were only trying to make a buck. That's where they are currently and I hope they find the path. But I won't buy their products either.
Initially, I did buy some things I thought were necessary but they weren't. I donated them to my temple and if anyone needs them, they are there. So good can come out of it. But "Buddha is my Om Boy" is ridiculous. I say this as there is going to be commercialization. Don't be surprised, just let it be. It doesn't affect my practice at all. Keep your thoughts on the Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path. That's what its really all about anyways.
I've been a pagan most of my life and was originally trained in the Wiccan tradition up to HPS. BUT I am becoming more and more disenchanted with the way things are going in the pagan world. I now am a solo practitioner and keep in touch with the circle through the internet. The commercialisation of the craft disgusts me.
When you refer to the commercialisation do you mean things like the instant "quick fix witch kits" as I call them? You know the things, ready made spell kits for all manner of ailments. Got a girlfriend/boyfriend issue? Here's a binding spell for you!
They just seemed dangerous to me, anyone could pick these things up without any knowledge of the possible repercussions of their actions.
I only ever once carried out a binding and that was on an ex-girlfriend that was making both mine and my then girlfriend's lives a misery. I tried all other options before carrying it out but at the time it seemed the only way. It did work and we weren't bothered again as she found someone else to go out with. Looking back with experience I wouldn't have resorted to doing that as I now know it was my own fault that I was in that situation.
Most other things I did were simple healing rituals. I was once asked by a friend to create some kind of love spell for her, something that I am very morally opposed to. Instead I made her a herbal skin cream that would help boost her own feelings of self worth. The intention being that if she loved herself first then she wouldn't be so desparate to meet someone else. Once again, it seemed to help matters.
I wouldn't have called myself a Wiccan though, more a solitary pagan with views that probably wouldn't have been too popular. At the time (early 90's) it seemed that most pagans I had contact with were on some kind of twee sweetness and light trip. The whole "darkness is just absence of light" way of thinking. I didn't think it too healthy to deny the darker aspects of things as I felt you were only seeing part of the whole picture.
Anyhow, that is one of the things which probably contibuted to me investigating Zen Buddhism. The whole notion of accepting things as they are (or "things as it is" as Suzuki says) without denying the existence of anything really resonates with me.
I should add that these are just my opinions though and I'm sorry if I may have offended anyone!
When you refer to the commercialisation do you mean things like the instant "quick fix witch kits" as I call them? You know the things, ready made spell kits for all manner of ailments. Got a girlfriend/boyfriend issue? Here's a binding spell for you!
They just seemed dangerous to me, anyone could pick these things up without any knowledge of the possible repercussions of their actions.
QUOTE]
That's only part of it Frizzer - I could write a book on what is wrong with paganism these days which would have to go into the real history of neo-paganism and this thread might not be the place for it. I'll post something in the Other Religions section soon, if you would be interested.
Very briefly - the flooding of the market of useless books, the quick fix kits, the hand-tooled specially blessed BOSs, the solid gold turquoise encrusted wands ..... the whole idea that one can BUY one's way into spirituality. It's become big business. People are making enormous amounts of money out of conning the spiritually naive.
And that is only the physical rot - the idea is being promoted that all you have to do is repeat a dum di dum rhyme that someone else wrote, light a candle and hey presto, you're a witch! No mention of the hours of meditation and training that it requires, no mention that this is meddling in energies that one doesn't understand.
Thanks Keith,
I wondered as I was one that really believed in Christianity, but I saw so many people using it for their own means. I had seriously thought of becoming a minister. I was into some of the hard core theologians of the day. John MacArthur and Charles Stanley were heroes of mine. But something kept gnawing at me, like a hole that couldn't be filled. I did pray pretty much daily and read the bible regularly. That hole kept getting deeper and more lonely.
It was when I realized that my faith and my sexuality couldn't be reconciled that it became a real problem. I seriously tried to change my orientation throught the methods my church approved of. Needless to say, it didn't work and I really didn't want to be celibate. I felt it unethical to lie to a woman and try to live in a sham of a marriage either. How would that bring glory to a deity?
For my sanity, I put the religion question on the shelf for a few years. I dealt with a serious depression that had come on by other circumstances. When I got over that, I realized that religion didn't contribute to my depression as much as I had thought. It was at that time I started to really question Christianity in a formal way without ministers. I read things and thought for myself.
I still feel an affinity for the skeptics. They aren't afraid to question at all. They bring up the tough questions and expect realistic answers. That is why I call myself an agnostic Buddhist. There are things that I've found in Buddhism that I do not know the answers to and not sure about. So the most honest answer I can come up with is "I don't know" and I'm okay with that. I'm not closing the door on the topic, but I'm not going to say that I believe something that I can't intellectually grasp.
I do think the Buddha to be an excellent man with impeccable morals. The Four Noble Truths and The Noble Eightfold Path make perfect sense to me. As I continue to learn more about them, maybe I will change my mind on other things I've run into. But continue to learn and question. It's the fun of being on the path.
That's only part of it Frizzer - I could write a book on what is wrong with paganism these days which would have to go into the real history of neo-paganism and this thread might not be the place for it. I'll post something in the Other Religions section soon, if you would be interested.
Can I ask exactly how you do these "bindings" and creation of creams that boosts self-confidence?
I've heard of these things - but I can't even imagine how they are created.
You can ask but then I'd have to kill you! :hair:
The cream was just beeswax and pure aromatherapy carrier oil heated up and blended with certain essential oils that are reputed to have the properties needed for the outcome desired. I also threw in some visualisations as to the intended outcome and some blessings and protection as well. I tended to do things intuitively which for me seemed to be the best way. The final cream was a lot like that Tiger Balm stuff you can buy but with a nicer smell.
The binding was a bit different and involved a jam jar, photo of the person being bound, various objects to represent protection, other various bits and bobs (it was about 12 years ago and I can't quite remember!). I won't go into much more detail as I'm still quite wary of these things (and once again, I can't quite remember!!).
Comments
Is it hard to get your work published?
I like your new avatar. Very becoming of a young man of your stature.
Where ya been? I know we can be pretty opinionated at times, but don't be scared off. All of us have a heart of gold. We're all trying to follow the path just like you. I was quite happy to see a younger person on here. I didn't start checking this out until I was 38 y/o. You have so much more time to put into it.
Just wanted to let you know you were thought of and missed.
Lol, I haven't been scared off, just busy. The site I mentioned is trying to upgrade to an Invision Power Board and..... lets just say it'd be easier to lick your elbow
Awwww, thanks!
Do you have like a company that you go to specially or do you just try random companies?
Don't they use form letters? Or are they rude?
Name: marybeth
Age: 31
Sign: Pisces
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Brown
Height: 5'8"
Weight: 130 lbs.
Born: Niagara Falls, NY
Currently: Youngstown, NY
Favorite color: green, yellow
Favorite band: too many to mention
Favorite food: again, too many to mention
Favorite movie: I agree with Jason here: Bom yeoreum gaeul gyeoul geurigo bom (Summer, Fall, Winter... and Spring)
Favorite book: what ever book I happen to be reading...so it varies almost weekly. this week, Awaking the Buddha Within, by Lama Surya Das. A novel: Mother of Pearl
I was raised Christian but found myself not really connecting with it. In college some 10 years ago, I was required to take three different religion classes. There I learned (not from the profs, but my own realization) that the church as we know it today and the teachings of Christ are different. Through the years I did some reading about it. But it wasn't until the past year or so that I have focused and reflected on it. After joining a few 'sanghas' online, and meeting a Buddhist, I take it more to heart. I try consciously (and sometimes it happens all on its own) to show my Buddha-nature. And I have to say, I am enjoying and embracing life like never before!
Name: Brigid
Age: 38
Sign: Taurus
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Brown
Height: 5'5
Weight: don't know, don't care
Born: Montreal, Quebec, Canada
Favorite band: The Rolling Stones
Currently: rural Ontario
Favorite colors: orange, pink, light green, red, light blue, O.K. all of them
Favorite food: Indian
Favorite movie: Babe, Kill Bill 1 and 2, The Party, many others
I'm new to Buddhism, came from a non-religious background although parents are Catholic.
My father took us (me and 4 siblings, I'm the baby) out of church when I was 10 so that we could make up our own minds. Childhood was beautiful and very difficult; violence, alcoholism etc. I love my parents and came home to live with them when my father nearly died of heart failure 3 years ago. Subsequently got permanently injured at work and have been disabled since then.
My recent life has often been a world of physical pain (and emotional) which has brought me back to Buddhism. The injury has been the best thing that I ever did to myself (not on purpose, lol).
After a lot of pain I simply got fed up with suffering and realized I couldn't beat it so I had to join it.
I am mostly interested in love (not romantic). Buddha love.
I over-think, over-analyse, and spend too much time trying to figure it all out.
I'm wide open, semi-awake and alive with bright hope thanks to Buddhism.
I've spent almost half my life trying to build an identity and will now spend the rest of it tearing it down.
I love it here. I love you all and thank you for so warmly welcoming me.
And I'm ready to get to work/play.
Perhaps just see how it is, rather than tear it down lol.
What a bad habit. (It's all that Protestant work ethic indoctrination.)
You are teaching me more peace in a few well chosen responses than I ever learned in therapy. lol!
Now I just have to remember not to forget...:-/
Welcome to our little group. We are a fun filled crowd, and a few people who have a lot of experience who help guide us.
I'm sorry to hear of your injuries. I fell down a flight of stairs about 15 months ago and have gotten to the point that the problems are going to be chronic. I don't like it, but it is what is dealt to me, so I'm learning how to deal with it. After the surgery to fuse my spine, I almost died. That got me to start practicing my understanding of Buddhism.
One thing that this has taught me is to slow down. When I don't, I feel a good deal of pain. Learning to see what is going on inside is always interesting. Since I can't do as much physically as I did before the accident, sometimes I have to just sit or lay still until the pain, spasms or tightness passes. Time to practice a little mindful breathing or what my feelings are.
Again, welcome to the forum. We are most glad to have you here.
I have always been interested in world religions especially Buddhism and and Tao. I read many sources but never applied to daily life. I read books by the HHDL in high school! I have no idea why since it all makes pretty darn good sense! (Hindsight, certain aspects of my life I did, others I did not...is that possible?) One day this past December I was feeling particularly 'attached' and I was miserable. While browsing through an antique store, I walked past the book section which I never look at. I happened to look over and there proped up on a shelf was Lama Surya Das's book, Awakening the Buddha Within (which by the way I find both extremely insighful and helpful). It's hardly an antique! I grabbed it as if it were going to run away (lol), went straight for the check-out, and left. Scout's honor, that's how it happened.
Since then I have been reading A LOT on Buddhism and have seen a tremendous difference in my daily life! All of a sudden, I cherish everyday, everyone and everything. I suppose I did before bt now i am AWARE of it!
Anyway...I am not searching within for an explanation of my 'brush with fate' (for a lack of better term) but is it ....'what a coincidence' thing???? Any thoughts?
Everyone at some point or another believes that they have come to Buddhism by accident, or that "it" found them.... My personal opinion is that we are all just students waiting for the 'Goodmorning Class!' voice to thunder quietly in our head....
I felt as if 'The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying' had been written entirely, exclusively and solely for me. It was just quietly waiting on the bookshelf fo me to pick it up.
Pick up his two follow-up books if you can... they are worth it. And a fourth book he has written, called 'Letting Go of the Person You Used to Be' is also very good......;)
I think (beware! I say to myself) that we find what our hearts have opened our eyes to.
Genryu, I don't know about Jerbear, but acupunture worked well for me. However, it's not covered by health care in Canada and it's approx. $50 a pop! Needless to say, a little out of my league.
Age: 24
Sign: Virgo
Hair: Blonde
Eyes: Blue
Height: 5'11" (thats about 180 cm for the rest of the world)
Weight: 150 lbs.
Born: Sweetwater, TX
Currently: Eugene, OR
Favorite color: Green or Blue (or brown, and I like black too)
Favorite composer: Antonio Vivaldi
Favorite food: anything with rice, but I love veggie stir fry and burritos
Favorite movie: The Dark Crystal
Favorite book: way too many but Id say its a toss up between A People's History of the United States by Howard Zinn and Against His-story, Against Leviathan! by Freddy Perlman
My journey to the Buddha Dharma began as a child when I always liked to sit in the lotus posture, I dont remember why but I liked it. I used to sit on the floor and watch TV some times like this. I distinctly remember the last time I did it was when I was about 8 or 9. It was in class one day during free time and I got up on my desk and put my legs up on my thighs and everybody made fun of me. :sadc:
I was raised as a Southern Baptist. This is, for those who do not know, a very conservative fundamentalist form of Christianity very popular in the US. I and my family were very involved in the church and I did all the activities and went to church 2-3 nights a week and felt very much a born again Christian. This lasted until I was a junior to senior in high school. I began to lose interest because the church I was a part of started breaking apart. People were accusing each other and it was generally not very nice (nor very Christ like for that matter).
So when I went off to college I had stopped going to church and didnt really think about spirituality. I was exposed to a lot of new ideas and began to consider myself an atheist. I was very influenced by science and skepticism and really began to see my former religion as antiquated mysticism. I was a pure materialist for a couple years.
Then I decided after going to college for two years that I had no idea what I wanted to study for my degree and decided to just get a job and try to figure my life out. I was really depressed during this time in my life and I was smoking a lot of marijuana to try to dull the pain. It was during this time that I first exposed my self to Buddhism. I read The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying and Zen Mind Beginners Mind for the first time. While the teachings seemed to be really meaningful it was only an intellectual exercise and I didnt start a sitting practice until later.
Then I moved to Boulder, CO and again became even more interested in Buddhism. This time I started a daily sitting practice as well as reading books. The teachings felt really right, I could identify with them and it really seemed like the Buddha knew exactly how I though and felt. I was drawn out of my depression and seriously cut back on the pot. I start sitting with the local Zen Center and met many wonderful people. I finally quit smoking and everything was going great. Then I met my friend's teacher. There wasnt a resident teacher at the center but there is a monastery up in the mountains that most of the people went to retreats at. Anyway, after I met him I realized that he wouldnt be my teacher. So, while I was still sitting with them I was looking for another group to sit with and another teacher.
Then about a year and a half ago I decided to go on a long vacation. I travelled all around the country and really let my practice decline and I stopped sitting every day. In the past few months Ive started picking up my Dharma books again and have been doing calm abiding meditation every day. Just recently I decided to settle back down again and chose lovely Eugene, OR. I just moved here and only just the other day went to my first group sitting practice at a Tibetan Buddhist center. I loved it and plan on going there from now on.
So sorry for the dissertation length but once I start I just keep on going.
Thanks for having this forum and Ive really enjoyed reading and conversing with you all. I hope to be around for some to to come.
In love and compassion,
Keith
*Ya can take the Boy out of the Buddha, but you can't take the Buddha outta the boy...!"
That's a good one, Fede!
Welcome, Keith! Glad to have you here.
Brigid.
P.S. I like the way you signed your post "In love and compassion, Keith".
I'm still old fashioned and love the "letter" like ending. I do it, too.
I love your picture for your avatar. I like black and white photography better than color. I think it forces you to look closer at it.
I wish we could have come to Buddhism sooner. I actually had done some studying on meditation before my injuries. I got extremely angry at some things I read. I'm as equally agnostic as Buddhist, you see. It was what the Buddha said that got me interested. "Come and see" not "Come and believe". Then 9 months after the initial injuries, things started calming down and I really missed meditation. I also realized that I didn't have to agree with every Buddhist teaching in order to follow the Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path. I may change my mind on some of these as I develop more spiritually. I might not. But I'm truly not afraid to question.
You are in good company here. I still question a number of things. Questioning is encouraged by the Buddha, if it is meant to understand, not argue. I am at a point that I still consider myself an agnostic and a Buddhist. Some find that different, but it works for me.
As a former Bible Beater in the Charismatic variety, I understand being in church 2-3 times a week. Just a question and feel free not to answer. Was it hard letting go of your faith? I came into fundamentalism in my late teens-early 20's and it was truly a struggle. Just wondered how it was for you.
Your changing avatar is becoming a game, isn't it? I'm always looking forward to see what you're going to do next. No, not a sissy at all. Just because I butter my bread on the other side doesn't mean a number of things.
Like Brigid, it is extremely expensive. It is approximately 150 bucks per session. At this time, I just can't afford it. Losing my income for half a year beat the living daylights out of my finances. I can no longer work full time, so that is another punch.
In hapchang with deep bow,
Jerry
hang on.... it worked......??:scratch:
So today I tried with the geisha, and...
Whaddya know... That worked too...!!
I Think someone has been fiddling the central Control panel to allow us poor IT idiots to do things like that successfully...
How kind!
I'm going back to Audrey now.....
Frizzer... That's scary... You're still grinning like Sid James...!!
I looked like a mini Winston Churchill!!
Hey... you're right!
-bf
I'm the one in the hat!
I've been a pagan most of my life and was originally trained in the Wiccan tradition up to HPS. BUT I am becoming more and more disenchanted with the way things are going in the pagan world. I now am a solo practitioner and keep in touch with the circle through the internet. The commercialisation of the craft disgusts me.
I came into contact with Buddhism through my daughter in law and have been taking more and more interest in it, which is why she suggested I come onto this site to learn more.
As I realise that paganism is being corrupted further and further from its original ideas, I realise too that the practices of buddhism are more akin to my own feelings. It speaks to me.
I'm married, have three dogs and no kids (ok so sometimes I DO hit lucky!) and as the name suggests am into knitting, crochet, embroidery etc - love creating things. We travel as much as possible in our beat up old van and lead a quiet life in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere in deepest rural France.
I'm reading and learning, plodding away down the path, I may or may not decide to say I'm a buddhist but that isn't important, it's a label, the important thing is how I lead my life. My path has lead me all over the shop up til now so I shouldn't be surprised it has brought me here - but so far it's been a fascinating journey and I am so looking forward to the rest of it. I've met wonderful people and been brought into contact with all sorts of different religions - long may it continue! BB
I dont mind at all. Well it was a gradual process. Even though I was raised in the church (or maybe because of it) as I got older instead of deepening my devotion to Jesus and god I began to focus more on the motions of Christianity and the friendships I had at my church.
Thinking back on it, in the last years before I went to college and really stopped believing I was going to church so much and being so involved because that was what I had always done. It was more my religion of works and actions than mine of faith. Which, in the Christianity I was taught, is not being a Christian at all! I still said I loved god and Jesus and I would bow my head and pray at church but I wasnt reading the Bible or praying on my own.
Then, as I said, I began to be disallusioned. When my church broke apart and there was all the squabbling and backstabbing from all these people that I had thought were deeply devoted to the love of Christ I began to think that maybe they were just acting like Christians without really being one, too. Maybe all Christians were like this, I thought.
So, it was with open arms that I embraced agnositism, skepticism, and materialism because at least everyone I met or read about seemed to really live as if these things were true.
Keith
One thing that occurs with anything that people become interested in, it gets marketed. I've been to a few sites that have apalled me. It was obvious they were only trying to make a buck. That's where they are currently and I hope they find the path. But I won't buy their products either.
Initially, I did buy some things I thought were necessary but they weren't. I donated them to my temple and if anyone needs them, they are there. So good can come out of it. But "Buddha is my Om Boy" is ridiculous. I say this as there is going to be commercialization. Don't be surprised, just let it be. It doesn't affect my practice at all. Keep your thoughts on the Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path. That's what its really all about anyways.
When you refer to the commercialisation do you mean things like the instant "quick fix witch kits" as I call them? You know the things, ready made spell kits for all manner of ailments. Got a girlfriend/boyfriend issue? Here's a binding spell for you!
They just seemed dangerous to me, anyone could pick these things up without any knowledge of the possible repercussions of their actions.
I only ever once carried out a binding and that was on an ex-girlfriend that was making both mine and my then girlfriend's lives a misery. I tried all other options before carrying it out but at the time it seemed the only way. It did work and we weren't bothered again as she found someone else to go out with. Looking back with experience I wouldn't have resorted to doing that as I now know it was my own fault that I was in that situation.
Most other things I did were simple healing rituals. I was once asked by a friend to create some kind of love spell for her, something that I am very morally opposed to. Instead I made her a herbal skin cream that would help boost her own feelings of self worth. The intention being that if she loved herself first then she wouldn't be so desparate to meet someone else. Once again, it seemed to help matters.
I wouldn't have called myself a Wiccan though, more a solitary pagan with views that probably wouldn't have been too popular. At the time (early 90's) it seemed that most pagans I had contact with were on some kind of twee sweetness and light trip. The whole "darkness is just absence of light" way of thinking. I didn't think it too healthy to deny the darker aspects of things as I felt you were only seeing part of the whole picture.
Anyhow, that is one of the things which probably contibuted to me investigating Zen Buddhism. The whole notion of accepting things as they are (or "things as it is" as Suzuki says) without denying the existence of anything really resonates with me.
I should add that these are just my opinions though and I'm sorry if I may have offended anyone!
Can I ask exactly how you do these "bindings" and creation of creams that boosts self-confidence?
I've heard of these things - but I can't even imagine how they are created.
-bf
I wondered as I was one that really believed in Christianity, but I saw so many people using it for their own means. I had seriously thought of becoming a minister. I was into some of the hard core theologians of the day. John MacArthur and Charles Stanley were heroes of mine. But something kept gnawing at me, like a hole that couldn't be filled. I did pray pretty much daily and read the bible regularly. That hole kept getting deeper and more lonely.
It was when I realized that my faith and my sexuality couldn't be reconciled that it became a real problem. I seriously tried to change my orientation throught the methods my church approved of. Needless to say, it didn't work and I really didn't want to be celibate. I felt it unethical to lie to a woman and try to live in a sham of a marriage either. How would that bring glory to a deity?
For my sanity, I put the religion question on the shelf for a few years. I dealt with a serious depression that had come on by other circumstances. When I got over that, I realized that religion didn't contribute to my depression as much as I had thought. It was at that time I started to really question Christianity in a formal way without ministers. I read things and thought for myself.
I still feel an affinity for the skeptics. They aren't afraid to question at all. They bring up the tough questions and expect realistic answers. That is why I call myself an agnostic Buddhist. There are things that I've found in Buddhism that I do not know the answers to and not sure about. So the most honest answer I can come up with is "I don't know" and I'm okay with that. I'm not closing the door on the topic, but I'm not going to say that I believe something that I can't intellectually grasp.
I do think the Buddha to be an excellent man with impeccable morals. The Four Noble Truths and The Noble Eightfold Path make perfect sense to me. As I continue to learn more about them, maybe I will change my mind on other things I've run into. But continue to learn and question. It's the fun of being on the path.
Yep, I definately would be interested !
You can ask but then I'd have to kill you! :hair:
The cream was just beeswax and pure aromatherapy carrier oil heated up and blended with certain essential oils that are reputed to have the properties needed for the outcome desired. I also threw in some visualisations as to the intended outcome and some blessings and protection as well. I tended to do things intuitively which for me seemed to be the best way. The final cream was a lot like that Tiger Balm stuff you can buy but with a nicer smell.
The binding was a bit different and involved a jam jar, photo of the person being bound, various objects to represent protection, other various bits and bobs (it was about 12 years ago and I can't quite remember!). I won't go into much more detail as I'm still quite wary of these things (and once again, I can't quite remember!!).