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Buddhist Extremist Cell Vows To Unleash Tranquility On West
BhikkhuJayasara
Bhikkhu Veteran
The Onion does it again.. The only Blemish on this joke is the actual Buddhist terrorism going on in Burma incited by the so called monk Wirathu.
http://www.theonion.com/articles/buddhist-extremist-cell-vows-to-unleash-tranquilit,34623/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:1:Default
"“In the name of the Great Teacher, we will stop at nothing to unleash a firestorm of empathy, compassion, and true selflessness upon the West,” said Rinpoche, adding that all enemies of a freely flowing, unfettered state of mind will be “besieged with pure, everlasting happiness.” “No city will be spared from spiritual harmony. We will bring about the end to all Western pain and anxiety, to all destructive cravings, to all greed, delusion, and misplaced desire. Indeed, we will bring the entire United States to its knees in deep meditation.”
“Wisdom and virtue to America!” continued Rinpoche. “Wisdom and virtue to all living things on earth!”
According to reports, Rinpoche stressed throughout his address that Kammaṭṭhāna soldiers would continue waging a tireless holy war on Western feelings of emptiness and negativity for as long as necessary, noting that “a jug fills drop by drop” and that “it is better to travel well than to arrive.”
The extremist leader specifically criticized the United States for its “blatant disregard of karmic balance within the universe” and ominously claimed that Americans will “one day soon” experience the highest form of metaphysical equilibrium through a union of both body and mind. Rinpoche also said all Western nations would “pay a heavy price in negative thinking and self-doubt” if they do not immediately engage in serious introspection and true spiritual liberation.
Sources confirmed the video then featured an uninterrupted 19-minute clip of water quietly flowing between rocks in a small forest creek.
"
http://www.theonion.com/articles/buddhist-extremist-cell-vows-to-unleash-tranquilit,34623/?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=SocialMarketing&utm_campaign=LinkPreview:1:Default
"“In the name of the Great Teacher, we will stop at nothing to unleash a firestorm of empathy, compassion, and true selflessness upon the West,” said Rinpoche, adding that all enemies of a freely flowing, unfettered state of mind will be “besieged with pure, everlasting happiness.” “No city will be spared from spiritual harmony. We will bring about the end to all Western pain and anxiety, to all destructive cravings, to all greed, delusion, and misplaced desire. Indeed, we will bring the entire United States to its knees in deep meditation.”
“Wisdom and virtue to America!” continued Rinpoche. “Wisdom and virtue to all living things on earth!”
According to reports, Rinpoche stressed throughout his address that Kammaṭṭhāna soldiers would continue waging a tireless holy war on Western feelings of emptiness and negativity for as long as necessary, noting that “a jug fills drop by drop” and that “it is better to travel well than to arrive.”
The extremist leader specifically criticized the United States for its “blatant disregard of karmic balance within the universe” and ominously claimed that Americans will “one day soon” experience the highest form of metaphysical equilibrium through a union of both body and mind. Rinpoche also said all Western nations would “pay a heavy price in negative thinking and self-doubt” if they do not immediately engage in serious introspection and true spiritual liberation.
Sources confirmed the video then featured an uninterrupted 19-minute clip of water quietly flowing between rocks in a small forest creek.
"
15
Comments
Take your non action to the streets. :clap:
http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/103670/cartoon-jihad
Take THAT Buddhist terrorizers!
::: swoons ::: *thud*
Many ways to peel an onion. Many ways to josh a dharma, adjest [sic] a sangha or smile at our likeness of Buddha.
:clap:
"“In the name of the Great Teacher, we will stop at nothing to unleash a firestorm of empathy, compassion, and true selflessness upon the West,” said Rinpoche, adding that all enemies of a freely flowing, unfettered state of mind will be “besieged with pure, everlasting happiness.” “No city will be spared from spiritual harmony. We will bring about the end to all Western pain and anxiety, to all destructive cravings, to all greed, delusion, and misplaced desire. Indeed, we will bring the entire United States to its knees in deep meditation.”
LOL. Yes, come to America and unleash your firestorm of empathy, compassion, peace, and spiritual harmony.
Why not? That sounds like paradise.
Ya know...a Buddha Jihad sounds really cool. Just...it'd make a great band name!
"Up Next on KISS FM - "Right Livelihood" by BUDDHA JIHAD!!"
Yes, i will soon begin my jihadist training somewhere in the woods of this country so that in the near future i will bring the full might of boundless friendliness upon the unbelievers! Buddha is good!
Hmm...Monks of Shaolin Temple Kung-fu-ing everyone into happiness!
A buddhist Jihad is a contradiction in terms.
Yes it is...tis supposed to be a joke, given the first post in this thread. ( I think I'm using "thread" correctly...)
I got it - my sense of humour can be a little dry, even wry at times. The OP is a light-hearted serious joke... lol.
@anataman Ah - my bad. Its all too easy to be interpreted as "deadpan" on the internet.
Whats a dead pan got to do with it?
I got that one!
Someone has to say it but we brought this on ourselves. Its blowback for all the overt charitable operations we've done to other countries.
There's a NZ band I really like called "Shihad" (pronounced She-had).
They tried to crack the US market just after 9/11 and were (rightly or wrongly) advised to change their name or they wouldn't get any airplay. They changed it to Pacifier.
After limited success Stateside, a few years later they saw the error of their ways and went back to Shihad.
Is this also from the article, lol.
Na mate - it's fair dinkum!!
Tactics for freedom fighters:
Recite
http://www.davidpbrown.co.uk/poetry/max-ehrmann.html
Sing
http://mayallbehappy.org/meditation-techniques/mantra-meditation/
Prevail
Overcome [yikes!]
Everybody was kung fu fighting..........
Those cats were fast as lightning.....in fact it was a little bit frightening....but they had expert timing...
I do so love Disco.
Original Kung fu fighting
@Jeffrey You Rock!
Break, dance, time . . .
something for the 'slow' tai chi generation
Pres: "So was operation Roundup a success?"
General: "Yes, sir, we rounded up about a dozen of the top Buddhist Terrorists and stuck them in Gitmo. But we have a problem."
Pres: "Can't find the rest of them? They went into hiding?"
General: "No sir, the opposite. The monks love the peace and quiet and chance to meditate. When the other Terrorist Monks heard about it, they surrendered and demanded to be taken to, quote, "That wonderful retreat" as well. We ran out of room."