Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Examples: Monday, today, last week, Mar 26, 3/26/04
Welcome home! Please contact if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.

Death Cafe

Shoshin1Shoshin1 Sentient BeingOceania Veteran

Have any members been to a Death Cafe ?
It's a place where people from different backgrounds/spiritualities can go have a cup of tea and talk about death...I guess it's a way of helping people to overcome their fear death and dying....

There one starting up on the's being run by a friend who was part of our local Buddhist group years ago...



  • BunksBunks Australia Veteran

    what a great idea!

  • lobsterlobster Veteran

    Lord Yama off for a cup of ambrosia death tea …

    I was aware of these Death Cafes and like @Bunks think it a great idea. I do spend a lot of time talking flippantly about death over a cup of tea, as people have an innate avoidance of mortality. In fact many avoid dukkha in general. Not this crustacean.

    Other things to consider:

  • It's worse than any curse word to most people I know, even though I can see it's a lot of what they think about. I may be too casual about the topic though. @Shoshin1 I had no idea this was so popular. There's even one near me.

  • JeroenJeroen Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter Netherlands Veteran

    I was aware of the death cafe’s, but have never been to one, unfortunately there aren’t any nearby, I would have to go to Amsterdam. It’s funny because recently there has been a lot of death around, my two uncles died last year, a good friend of the family died last week, my father’s girlfriend’s mother died a few days ago. I’m beginning to suspect any attempt to avoid mortality is going to be futile.

  • lobsterlobster Veteran
    edited May 2022

    I guess it's a way of helping people to overcome their fear death and dying....

    Even worse some people are afraid of life and living. My sister is one in such dukkha distress. Luckily I informed her this morning that Samsara is Nirvana (she is a semi-buddhist/Harry Potter fan boy) … and she seemed to get it … finally.

    Meanwhile …

    It's worse than any curse word to most people I know

    ah ha! thanks for the tip. New greets for Buddhists:

    • May you live long enough to die
    • Can I attend your funeral?
    • Yama-damn-a-ding-dong!
  • ElizEliz Arizona, USA Explorer

    @lobster said:
    Other things to consider:

    Thank you, @lobster. I'm so happy to see more eco-friendly burial options available now. I hope this trend continues.

  • lobsterlobster Veteran
    edited June 2022

    Me too @Eliz

    Here is great system. The crows in particular the ravenous ravens of the Tower of London would welcome the return of this supplemental diet … I think tourists would be most entertained.

    I am ready. o:)

  • lobsterlobster Veteran
    edited September 2022

    There I was (and this is a true story) with a body to dispose of. What to do? Well if it was mine, there would be no difficulty, for me at least.

    … maybe I should leave a will. I can think of some wonderful uses for a dead body, probably leaving to science is the most useful.

    No it's my mother who is still in the hospital fridge morgue. She will be cremated as soon as feasible.

    What are your funeral plans?

  • JeroenJeroen Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter Netherlands Veteran
    edited September 2022

    I still think composting would be my preferred way to go.

    Burial is unnecessary to me, I don't need to be stuck in a coffin for so many years. Cremation is better, but rather sudden and it uses up a lot of fuel. Composting is gradual, allows you to say goodbye to the physical body more slowly, energy-friendly and all-natural. Needs just a pile of woodchips.

    But cremation as they do it in India is also very neat, they just stick the dead body in a pile of wood and set it alight, you can see the bones and things showing up after a while burning. They have these cremation sites often by a river called ghatts.

  • KotishkaKotishka Veteran
    edited September 2022

    I would like to be buried and fed to a tree. But, for practical reasons, I think I will have to settle for cremation. Also quite cheap compared to burial and renting the ground....

  • yes even in death there is the ideal and what is available …

    Sounds kinda cool to me …

  • howhow Veteran Veteran
    edited September 2022

    Green burial for me. Don't want one of my last contributions to be the adding of poisonous embalming fluids to the soil or CO, Co2 or toxic heavy particulate to the atmosphere. While I have formally held inclinations towards cremation over burial, I now think a finishing of this existence with as much harmlessness as possible is simply a better representation of the ideals of a Buddhist practice.

  • Organ/tissue dono through a responsible non-profit organization if circumstance permits. Chuck the rest out to deep sea for all the dark water fishies. No sense in wasting nutrients and having my remains eaten on the bottom of the ocean sounds kind of badass.

    I know someone who buried many of their dead pets on the property and plants things on top of them. It always sounded like a comforting way to stick around for loved ones if they so desired.

  • lobsterlobster Veteran
    edited September 2022

    Well this is certainly a cheery, informative and understanding thread for me at least.

    Here are some questions:

    • Would an art exhibit featuring a dead body completely enclosed be fun, need a new religious practice or be liable to explode from escaping gas pressure. The nearest thing I can think of is Damon Hursts cow sculptures and the el-morte religions of South America …
    • In the sleep deprivation asceticism of dervish practice, what happens if you dream you are dead and you are. Nothing?
    • Which religions donate holy relics before mortifications. Sadly I am mostly unholy and attached to my parts … ah well …
    • Suicide seems quite fashionable in some quarters but is it only legal under medical supervision? For example the Dalai Lama recently suggested not setting oneself on fire as a protest death.
    • When donating ones body to science, does one have to be dead? I would be quite intrigued to watch my own dissection but am probably too squeamish …

    Morbid Enquiring minds need to know

  • @lobster said:
    Morbid Enquiring minds need to know

    1a) With their permission or request.. Enclosed in clear resin? Sure, why not.
    1b) You can make a religion out of anything if it's trendy enough or shaped like pasta.
    1c) Not sure. I dunno what pounds (euros?) per square inch of pressure we're dealing with.

    2) My sleep deprivation practices were most likely not of dervish origin but I've only dreamt of dying, not being dead. Upon happening I wake up back here.

    3) Possibly Ancient Egyptians with their jars of stuff. Though they give em right back to you after.

    4) You'll have to check with local law enforcement for region specifics though I hear they give out freebies if you ask nicely. Does this include emotional immolation?

    5a) Depends on the science. I've thought of donating my body to a ketamine trial a few times.
    5b) Can this be achieved through meditation?

    I'm taking this on face value so apologies if these questions were rhetorical or responses found tasteless..

  • AngusAngus Vietnam Explorer

    I want to be put out for the birds.

  • JeroenJeroen Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter Netherlands Veteran

    They do do that in some places, there are platforms on top of poles where the dead are raised up and the carrion-eating birds pick the bones of the deceased clean.

  • here is a video to watch before or after your tea and cake at the cafe …

  • JeroenJeroen Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter Netherlands Veteran
    edited November 2022

    I suspect mother nature will have a few surprises for people who try the cell regeneration path to physical immortality. There are good evolutionary reasons for death, and if we give up dying we will have to give up being born as well, otherwise the earth will get overcrowded in just a few generations.

    It seems likely that this will be something for the very rich. In the science fiction novel Altered Carbon there are these very rich, hundreds of years old people referred to as ‘methuselahs’ or ‘meths’ for short, who have strange ideas of how to get their thrills, it gives some insight into their thought.

  • Shoshin1Shoshin1 Sentient Being Oceania Veteran

    @Jeroen said:
    if we give up dying we will have to give up being born as well,

    Hmm which reminds me of these questions Alan Watts posed

    "Try and imagine what would it be like to go to sleep and never wake up ?"
    "What was it like to wake up after having never been to sleep ? "

Sign In or Register to comment.