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Thanks @lionduck …

I came across a lovely passage in Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth, where he talks about inner nonresistance to what is, and thus being in tune with the present moment. It gave me a bit of a lift, it was like just accessing a higher frequency of being where a lot of problems had resolved and dissolved.

When you react against the form that Life takes at this moment, when you treat the Now as a means, an obstacle, or an enemy, you strengthen your own form identity, the ego. Hence the ego's reactivity. What is reactivity? Becoming addicted to reaction. The more reactive you are, the more entangled you become with form. The more identified with form, the stronger the ego. Your Being then does not shine through form anymore – or only barely.
Though nonresistance to form, that in you which is beyond form emerges as an all-­encompassing Presence, a silent power far greater than your short­lived form identity, the person. It is more deeply who you are than anything in the world of form.

@Jeroen

I saw the term Prechecca "Pratyeka" Buddha used mainly as a teaching term to warn long-time Buddhist practitioners to guard against straying too long into levels of spiritual materialism and quietism-based attachments. A term used by teachers to experienced students, questioning if they have just created a bit of a karmic cocoon for themselves while resting on their spiritual laurels. A warning, if you will, that a practice that is still self-based will remain suffering-bound until that practice's intent is actually for the benefit of all beings.
A Pratyeka Buddha is often a reference to a limited understanding that lacks the skillful means needed to transmit the appropriate Dharma to others.

I'm realizing there is some buried pain around this topic for me. When I was younger I had a few girlfriends but they never lasted, my takeaway was that I wasn't appealing or confident enough, or something. I stepped away and pursued a spiritual life. I'd always been the type of person happy doing things by myself, so that's what I did, and I am pretty happy.

All this stuff about being good enough, or playing the game or whatever it is to attract a partner is stressful and suffering inducing. For me positive attention only reinforces the stress and inadequacy. I recognize that a lot of this is sour grapes and venting of my own pain, I'm just trying to best express what is coming up for me. I think maybe I'll just leave it up to the women to approach me and ask me out if they have any interest, I'm not interested in the game.

@Ren_in_black said:

@person said:
There's also a seeming obsession with imagining romantic relationships, or who I'd have a shot with, etc.

I do this all the time, never with the intent to act (as I am happily married) but, apparently, to pass the time more quickly or entertain myself or something. Glad to hear I am not the only one.

For me its been really annoying and misery making. I've never had those relationship game playing skills, and after a few failed relationships found spirituality a more natural and fulfilling path and thus never had the incentive to develop them.

I guess I've been removed from the "meat market" and hadn't really dealt with my own related desires. I'm finding just this little exposure rather bothersome. This comparing mind, self judgement about how in shape or stylish I am so as to be attractive. Ugh, I hate even thinking about it.

I suppose all this means that there is work to do in this area and isolation from it only kept it dormant. I'm just venting and reflecting, don't mind me.

@person said:
There's also a seeming obsession with imagining romantic relationships, or who I'd have a shot with, etc.

I do this all the time, never with the intent to act (as I am happily married) but, apparently, to pass the time more quickly or entertain myself or something. Glad to hear I am not the only one.