Best Of

Thanks very much! 🙂👋

Oh, and I've gone and moderated away my manners as well apparently. A belated welcome to @Tavs, cheers. 👋

@Linc @federica
As advised by our Community Guidelines, which I have tried to follow in this matter, @IdleChater and I have been mediating both here publicly and later in private via PM.
I believe we have made sufficient progress that no ban is necessary at this time. IdleChater has shown self-reflection and a willingness to change and I am confident that with additional mediation, including between IdleChater and Jeroen, the matter can be beneficialy resolved for all involved.
It's very late here and I must be off to bed, I just don't want to wake up with IdleChater banned, not after the successful mediation and initial progress we have made.
Apologies to @Tavs, whose threads we have been recently derailing.

@marcitko said:
For some time now, to my mind, you have been far too often critical and harsh, towards several members, but apparently with a special focus on Jeroen. To my mind, Jeroen has been nothing but gracious and kind to you. I would have called you out far sooner than Jeroen, but even his calling you out was gracious and kind. Had he not called you out, I would have done so.

Trying to silence me?

For now, looking to hear what others think, and if they mostly agree that you've meandered into harrasment territory according to our ToS, looking for you to remedy your future postings on these boards a.k.a. limit the ad hominem personal attacks based on this or that perceived fault.

Thank you @marcitko, that more or less covers my feelings on the subject. I haven’t had to deal with this kind of targeted harassment since my days in school, and that from a Buddhist, no less. Back then my preferred method of settling things with a bully was meeting for a bout of fisticuffs, glad we don’t have to go through that kind of nonsense anymore. I’m sure that if @federica or @linc were not busy with their personal lives they would deal with it in their usual zero-tolerance manner.

On the subject of not being a Buddhist, I’m glad the community doesn’t hold to a rigid standard on this, admitting taoists, free thinkers and others. It’s a group of “new Buddhists” after all. I spent nearly a decade devoted to Buddhism, and I still follow many of it’s tenets, but found my heart took me in another direction.

On Right Speech, and especially kind speech, as @person mentioned it, I’ve always admired it and found it one of the most beautiful traits of Buddhists in general. I’ve associated Buddhism with gentleness and grace and eloquence, and long may these traits continue.

@IdleChater said:
Well, Jeroen, I've never been one to waste time blowing sunshine up someone's backside.

And seeing how you aren't a Buddhist, yourself, and from what I've read of your posts, don't know much about it, either, what makes you believe you can comment on what a Buddhist should/shouldn't be? Hmmmmmm?

Considering the frequent ad hominem 'negative analysis' of (especially) @Jeroen, to my mind, this is getting into harrasment territory, and has been for some time.
EDIT: I've reviewed our ToS and, to my mind, this would be 'harrasment based on... religion (or lack thereof), theological perspective...'
Instead of reporting, as advised by our ToS, I am making you, @IdleChater, aware of my perspective and looking to hopefuly reach an acceptable solution.
This solution, to my mind, would enable you to still be a straight-talker on these boards, but not a 'serial criticiser', and especially not one with a special focus on one particular member.
I am seeking views on this from both @IdleChater and other members of our community.

For some time now, to my mind, you have been far too often critical and harsh, towards several members, but apparently with a special focus on Jeroen. To my mind, Jeroen has been nothing but gracious and kind to you. I would have called you out far sooner than Jeroen, but even his calling you out was gracious and kind. Had he not called you out, I would have done so.

Trying to silence me?

For now, looking to hear what others think, and if they mostly agree that you've meandered into harrasment territory according to our ToS, looking for you to remedy your future postings on these boards a.k.a. limit the ad hominem personal attacks based on this or that perceived fault.

As the second most disagreeable member of the forum, I'll stand up for the importance of challenging people's opinions and stand against pitchfork mobs running people off.

I will, however, point out that part of Buddhism's right speech includes stating things in an agreeable manner and with a good intention. Perfection isn't what's important, or I'd be out on my ass, its the understanding and willingness to try.

Truthful speech: Speaking honestly and truthfully.
Kind speech: Using words that are friendly, benevolent, gentle, and endearing.
Beneficial speech: Speaking in a way that is useful and promotes well-being.
Timely speech: Speaking at the right time, considering whether the words will be helpful and whether it's the appropriate moment to say them.
Speech with goodwill: Speaking with a kind and benevolent intention, hoping for the best for all involved.
Noble silence: If one cannot speak in a way that is truthful, beneficial, and kind, it is better to remain silent.