Best Of

I had a thought that there may be a distinction between helpfulness and kindness so I asked AI and it claims there is. Though I hear more and more that AI hallucinates a lot, so it may just be giving me an answer because that it what it does, but the distinction makes sense to me.

Yes, while helpfulness and kindness can overlap, they are distinct concepts. Helpfulness is primarily about providing aid or assistance, while kindness encompasses a broader range of actions, attitudes, and intentions, often involving empathy and a desire to do good for others.
Here's a more detailed breakdown:
Helpfulness:
Focus:
Providing practical assistance or aid to someone.
Example:
Offering to carry someone's groceries, helping someone fix a flat tire, or lending a helping hand during a difficult task.
Motivation:
Often driven by a desire to make things easier for others or to alleviate their burden.
Can be detached:
You can be helpful without necessarily being deeply empathetic or emotionally invested in the person you're helping.
Kindness:
Focus:
A broader range of actions, attitudes, and intentions that demonstrate caring, compassion, and a desire to improve others' lives.
Example:
Listening empathetically to someone who is going through a difficult time, offering words of encouragement, volunteering your time, or making an effort to understand someone's perspective.
Motivation:
Often driven by a desire to connect with others, create a positive impact, and foster genuine relationships.
Involves empathy and compassion:
Kindness often involves understanding and sharing the feelings of others, and making an effort to improve their situation.
Key Differences:
Scope:
Helpfulness is more focused on providing practical assistance, while kindness encompasses a wider range of actions and intentions.
Motivation:
Helpfulness can be driven by a desire to alleviate burden or make things easier, while kindness is often driven by empathy and a desire to improve others' lives.
Emotional Connection:
Helpfulness can be detached, while kindness often involves a deeper level of empathy and emotional connection.
In essence: Being helpful can be a component of being kind, but kindness is a broader and more encompassing concept that goes beyond simply providing practical assistance.

@Jeroen said:
What would it take to make a long-lasting difference to this man’s life?

Applying pressure on the government by whatever non-violent means possible, to invest more in lifting people out of poverty and supporting mental health services, is crucial. Real change often comes from persistent public pressure.

Yes, giving to worthy charities is important, but that alone is just a band-aid on a festering wound. Our taxes should be used to support the many, not to enrich a privileged few at the expense of those struggling to get by.

@person said:

@lobster said:
Being kind is a wonderful direction @Shoshin1
It does not make us a doormat (though in a sense that is the ideal)
Rather it is the capacity to recognise that our contrary and opposing nature is harming no one but ourselves.

And yes, I find picnic tours of the hell realms have no element of fear for the truly brave, empowered, human...

Remove the blindfold and imagine a list of people and wrathfuls that are the enemies of good as we perceive it. Now hug them horribles.

That is the essence of Tantra.
https://buddhaweekly.com/tantric-wrathful-deities-the-psychology-and-extraordinary-power-of-enlightened-beings-in-their-fearsome-form/

For some reason the idea of wrathful forms brought to mind the saying the emperor has no clothes. I asked AI if it was kind and it said no, but it also said it may sometimes be more appropriate. Then I'm wondering what IS kindness exactly? Is it fundamentally sweet and gentle? Is it kinder to let a friend walk around with spinach in their teeth or kinder to tell them even though in the moment it causes them embarrassment? Can telling someone they have spinach in their teeth be done kindly or cruelly? Can not telling them be more about our comfort than our friend's? What kind of hierarchy of values exists? Kindness, honesty, integrity, beauty, patience, equality, discipline, justice, courage, creativity, balance.

I'd say kindness is a feeling of warmth, friendliness, and closeness towards the other from which kind actions/words then naturally emanate.

In your example, being kind or unkind is not directly related to commenting or not commenting on the spinach issue. It is the "field" from which the comment emanates that is kind or unkind, not the exact wording/statement.

The other will pretty much always know from which "field" the comment comes.

The same applies to humour. The same statement, depending on the "field" from which it comes, can be either deeply offensive or hilarious to all involved.

Just my POV.

Overthinking the what’s and why’s of kindness can make us miss the chance to show it when it’s needed most.

Overthinking can turn compassion into hesitation, and by the time a decision is made, the moment may have passed.

Kindness, from what I have gathered through experience, often lives in the moment, like, for example, how genuine empathy doesn’t ask for justification; it simply acts.

I’m reminded of a Buddhist friend who was visiting her daughter in Canada. One winter’s day, she saw a notice calling for volunteers at a local soup kitchen. The kitchen was understaffed and needed help, especially during the cold months when demand was high. She took down the contact details, planning to reach out once she got home.

But when she returned, she began to overthink. She asked herself why she wanted to help: Was it because I genuinely feel called to help others? Or is it just to appease my ego? To be able to say, “Hey everybody, look at me...I’m helping those in need. I’m such a kind and compassionate person." In the end, she went with the latter, and the soup kitchen missed out on much-needed help.

Flow is a psychological interpretation of basic samadhi
You can read the transcript of a Ted talk here or watch it in French
https://www.ted.com/talks/mihaly_csikszentmihalyi_flow_the_secret_to_happiness/transcript

• An intense focus that “leads to a sense of ecstasy”
• Knowing exactly what you want from one moment to the next
• Getting immediate feedback on what you are doing
• Knowing your goal is achievable, even if it is difficult
• Losing track of time
• Forgetting yourself – you are so focused on your task that any self-consciousness disappears
• Feeling part of something bigger than yourself

This is how and why in Sufism a craft/occupation is seen as a way into Divine Consciousness. It is of course far deeper and more comprehensive than the soft sciences have found.

In Dharma, Hatha Yoga and other physical disciplines, there is a more intense effort and practice. For example using Vipassanā, mantra, walking and other meditations. The difference is that retaining such an intensifying concentration is NOT the goal but a stage to an independent awaking that does not leave but also changes.
https://www.lionsroar.com/everything-is-enlightenment/

@lobster said:

Such an ethnically diverse country.

Had to watch this in spurts due to interrupts @Shoshin1. It was amazing, the diversity of cultures/languages etc. Great history of part of the Silk Road used by Marco Polo but from the Chinese perspective. Brief mention of the introduction of Buddhism, remnants of Persian Islam and Zoroastrian religions. May watch the next part of the journey into Xizang/Tibet/Trump Highlands (or whatever name they are festering over) ...
https://blogs.soas.ac.uk/china-institute/2024/12/11/tibet-must-stand/

Over the years, I've become a bit of a Sinophile. China’s culture and philosophy are incredibly rich, shaped by over 5,000 years of continuous civilisation.

And with the way the West is going, the Chinese have every right to use the term uncivilized barbarians when referring to Westerners .

@Jeroen said:
I watched about 15 minutes of the docu, @Shoshin1 … enough to get an impression of what it was like there. It’s tragic, and it makes me unhappy to see it, although I felt the docu also shows a bit of what ordinary life still goes on there, the little market stalls that have sprung up.

I understand where you're coming from @Jeroen, I have spoken to many friends who feel the same as you regarding these horrendous life events.

Friends often ask me, ‘How can you watch things that are so heartbreaking?’ I tell them that I sit with my heartbreak and all the other uncomfortable feelings that arise. At times I’m brought to tears. I also observe the rise of anger and frustration, and their passing. Allowing myself to feel these emotions helps me experience life more fully, understand human nature more deeply, and cultivate compassion and empathy for all sentient beings. It also strengthens my commitment to stand in solidarity with those who are being dehumanised, and to do what I can to help others.