As you said you don’t want to talk to anyone, perhaps counseling is not for you. And your question about karma might be better answered by a Buddhist teacher, which I am not.
But I have heard it said that karma is not a prison, that all your karma good and bad can be burnt up in a flash when you meet the right teacher. Just so you know. A well-lived Buddhist life can also purify heart and mind, and generate much good karma. The other thing is, a poor upbringing is a release of a lot of dark karma, so now that you are rid of it you can get on with dealing with the after effects.
It is good that you are aware of your trauma and its roots. I would suggest reading some books on trauma, people like Dr Gabor Maté or Dr Bessel van der Kolk, who have written compassionately and out of experience about trauma. The scientific perspective might help you gain some distance from the self blame.
Ultimately I think a traumatic upbringing can be risen above, through self help and good spiritual life. My own upbringing was also difficult, though there was love.
Jeroen
I know you're posting here as a kind of therapy for your horror at the situation
Yes I guess in a way it is kind of therapeutic, but I don't write or post videos with the intention to harm others/incite violence...just information which some readers 'may' find of interest,
And I'm sorry if what I post makes you feel uncomfortable @SuraShine, but why do you continue to click on this thread, when you know that some of the contents may disturbs you?
For far too long, Israel (acknowledging that not all Jewish people see present-day Israel as their homeland) has seemingly evaded accountability for their treatment of the Palestinian people, often described as 'getting away with murder.'
In the past, only a few brave individuals (myself not included) dared to criticise Israel. Many more wished to voice concerns about the treatment of Palestinians but hesitated for fear of being labeled anti-Semitic for criticising the Israeli government. Ironically, even some Jewish people feared this label.
One has only got to look at what's happening in Germany at the moment, where German Jews are being called anti-Semites and even arrested for expressing solidarity with the Palestinian people. This illustrates the current chaotic state of the world.
The point being made is that it's always the innocent who suffer the most, as demonstrated by recent events .
No one has made Hamas accountable for the numbers they release. Unlike Israel who have all their statistics verified independently because no one believes them.
You do realise that Israel won't allow independent observers into Gaza.
There are times when there is no offence intended, where a person just writes about what has been happening in the world, but some just don't like what's been written and want to shut the person up...
Again, look at what's been happening recently in German the US & UK...
Just so you know, over the years I have had friends of different ethnic backgrounds and religions, Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Sikh, Hindu, Buddhist.
If the shoe was on the other foot, (that is, if the Palestinians had a 'government' that was treating the Israelis in a way that was cruel and unjust killing and stealing land and so forth ) I would also be speaking out about the plight of the Israeli people in the same manner...
As MLK said "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny"
Shoshin1
@marcitko said:
...I'm in the mood to correct the corrector
Neither is your comment
Nor mine...
Well, I wasn't trying to correct anyone - just making an observation.
It's fairly typical of the board, though. When I got 86'd 8–10 years ago, the discussions here were almost entirely about Buddhist topics. Now it seems like all but a couple Buddhists remain, and there's even less discussions of Buddhism. Shit-all-Friday, folks, it's like people are more interested in posting what movies they're watching.
That's fine, knock yourself out! But let's call it what it is: "Not Buddhism".
Maybe Linc should re-name the board? Just kidding, Linc, don't change a thing.
@person said:
I've heard somethings along those lines, though it isn't concrete in my head. Something like higher and lower order politics.For myself I probably wouldn't categorize so much. But for the purposes of directing social policy that sort of thing is often helpful.
I think it kind of corresponds to people’s degree of reasoning ability when making voting decisions, and their degree of idealism. A lot of republican voters in the US seem to me to be borderline insane and perhaps even dangerous to know. The Netherlands has its own right wing voters but many of them are just financially conservative.
Part of the message of the book The Constitution of Knowledge that I'm slowly working my way through is that the current information landscape has blown apart much of our sense making apparatus and its letting in lots of bullshit and groupthink that was formerly checked.
Certainly the volume of socially-relevant information we consume has increased. “Blown apart” though sounds rather hyperbolic and I’d appreciate seeing that substantiated a bit more.
Jeroen
I've heard somethings along those lines, though it isn't concrete in my head. Something like higher and lower order politics.
For myself I probably wouldn't categorize so much. But for the purposes of directing social policy that sort of thing is often helpful.
I plug in peripherally to some organizations that seek to raise the level of political discourse and I think what you laid out in grade A seems to be the ideal they're working towards. I think there is room, and likely a fair bit of value, for the passionate and radical in a healthy political world. I think it becomes dysfunctional when the extremes take control and start setting the tone and the overall rules of the game.
As a moderate I'd also throw into your lower grading scales that as it degrades there is an increasing demand for ideological conformity with increasing penalties for non compliance.
I put a lot of the blame for the degraded political world today at the feet of social media. When the printing press was established and the gatekeepers of knowledge were bypassed lots of new ideas were able to proliferate. Eventually we all landed at a better place but not before centuries of religious and ideological wars over which ideas were right. Part of the message of the book The Constitution of Knowledge that I'm slowly working my way through is that the current information landscape has blown apart much of our sense making apparatus and its letting in lots of bullshit and groupthink that was formerly checked.
person
Dear all,
Some things have become clearer to me lately so I share something I wrote yesterday. We've had elections yesterday so that got me thinking... Feel free to share your thoughts, questions, perspectives, criticisms...
I am going to present a crude categorization of our „states/levels of mind“ which I claim can be categorized into higher and lower. Based on a poker analogy, I call these states A-F. I observe how these states of mind are playing out in my current (individual) life but also how they have historically played out socially/politically in my country. All of this is crude but I hope illustrates the point that our spiritual/philosophic/existential understanding can operate at a multitude of levels, that the content of thought/belief is relatively predictable while on a certain level, and that these levels can be observed both on an individual and social/political level.
I understand that some members will shoot me down because I talk about levels, instead of a strict dichotomy between clear/enlightened and unclear/deluded or a non-dichotomy between any levels. However, observing both myself and the world around me, it does seem to me at this time that the unclear/deluded camp can be further broken down/categorized into varying degrees of unclarity/delusion in a helpful way. I do not claim that I have „solved the riddle“ but offer only preliminary thoughts on the issue.
The „mental game“ – a poker analogy
Towards a categorization of levels (philosophic/spiritual/existential) of individual states of being (A-F):
A) I find everything to be easy, clear, direct, humorous
B ) I experience moderate amounts of anxiety but can function well
C) I experience strong anxiety and moderate compulsive/forced negative thoughts; can still function at a moderate level
D) I experience strong anxiety and strong compulsive/forced negative thoughts and hypervigilance. Difficulty functioning.
F) Mental-health breakdown, retreat from the world.
Towards a categorization of levels (philosophic/spiritual/existential) of group political thought as observed by an example (A-F):
A) Not sure I've seen much of this level, but here's a possible sketch: Everyone (L+R) agrees that everyone should participate equally in the political and social system, there is cooperation towards a mutual benefit taking into account the different and appreciated differences in values/interests/goals/etc. There is high social trust in the populace and between groups. Conflict exists but is minimal and there are efficient ways of dealing with it. (this paragraph should be improved).
B ) Everyone should participate equally in the political and social system BUT
L: harbours mostly unspoken suspicion towards priests and businessmen
R: harbours mostly unspoken suspicion towards national and religious minorities
C) Everyone should participate equally in the political and social system BUT
L: expresses huge contempt towards priests and businessmen
R: expresses huge contempt towards national and religious minorities
D)
L: priests and businessmen should be excluded from participation in the political and social system
R: national and religious minorities should be excluded from participation in the political and social system
F)
L: priests and businessmen should be shot
R: national and religious minorities should be shot
F-) 
L: priests and businessmen are actually shot
R: national and religious minorities are actually shot
To end on a lighter note, here are some follow-up questions:
Thanks for reading and I hope you have an excellent day!
Katie Halper
Iran Scholar & Former Marine BREAK DOWN War In The Middle East
Scholar Assal Rad and Veterans for Peace members Matt Hoh and Barry Riesch react to Iran's retaliatory strike on Israel, Israel's continued genocidal attack on Gaza and predict what's next. Matt and Barry also discuss the international Freedom Flotilla Coalition (FFC) which will sail in mid April with multiple vessels, carrying 5500 tons of humanitarian aid and hundreds of international human rights observers to challenge the ongoing illegal Israeli blockade of the Gaza Strip.
"If the law doesn't apply equally to people, it's either prejudice or it's corrupt and that's what we are looking at in this situation."
~Assal Rad~
The discussion with Matt Hoh and Barry Riesch was interesting ...Aotearoa's Kia Ora Gaza is also part of the international Freedom Flotilla Coalition,
Assal makes some interesting points regarding the hypocrisy of Western leaders...
Freedom Flotilla Coalition "Break the Siege" Mission Fact Sheet
Shoshin1
@Lionduck said:
Simplified: We can view enlightenment (also know as the life state of Buddha) as a condition or state (some may call it a "realm"), which we already possess. "Attaining Enlightenment" can be seen as the process of peeling away or dissipating the fog of ignorance which hides the ever glowing light of enlightenment.
We can also state that the attainment of enlightenment is akin to emerging or awakening from the stupor, the darkness of ignorance which, in our befuddlement, we mistake for knowledge and awareness.
Well said @Lionduck
And so it is that the words of the enlightened serve to shake us from our stupor, they remind us of that which we already know. The question is to find the enlightened, so that we may partake of their darshan.
Talking of befuddlement, I came across a post bij a ‘truth seeker’ a few days ago in which he said that no memory was ever a true record of events, that memories are only a kind of impressions. And also that any text describing a memory was another big step removed from what really happened, being loaded with impressions and vagueness at second or third hand.
Jeroen
“In the beginner's mind there are many possibilities. In the expert's mind there are few.
~Shunryu Suzuki~
Shoshin1
Simplified: We can view enlightenment (also know as the life state of Buddha) as a condition or state (some may call it a "realm"), which we already possess. "Attaining Enlightenment" can be seen as the process of peeling away or dissipating the fog of ignorance which hides the ever glowing light of enlightenment.
We can also state that the attainment of enlightenment is akin to emerging or awakening from the stupor, the darkness of ignorance which, in our befuddlement, we mistake for knowledge and awareness.
peace to all