Best Of
Re: Gabor Maté and Ayahuasca
@Jeroen said:
There’s also a book of his that has been making some waves, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness and Healing in a Toxic Culture which I have heard very good things about and may have to read.
I’ve been watching a few YouTube videos where Dr Maté talks about this book, and the more I hear about it the more I think this is an important book about western society and how it functions. I will definitely be getting a copy. I’ve collected a few quotes from it…
“Time after time it was the “nice” people, the ones who compulsively put other’s expectations and needs ahead of their own and who repressed their so-called negative emotions, who showed up with chronic illness in my family practice, or who came under my care at the hospital palliative ward I directed.”
― Gabor Maté, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture
“A society that fails to value communality — our need to belong, to care for one another, and to feel caring energy flowing toward us — is a society facing away from the essence of what it means to be human. Pathology cannot but ensue. To say so is not a moral assertion but an objective assessment.
"When people start to lose a sense of meaning and get disconnected, that's where disease comes from, that's where breakdown in our health — mental, physical, social health — occurs," the psychiatrist and neuroscientist Bruce Perry told me. If a gene or virus were found that caused the same impacts on the population's well-being as disconnection does, news of it would bellow from front-page headlines. Because it transpires on so many levels and so pervasively, we almost take it for granted; it is the water we swim in.
We are steeped in the normalized myth that we are, each of us, mere individuals striving to attain private goals. The more we define ourselves that way, the more estranged we become from vital aspects of who we are and what we need to be healthy. Among psychologists there is a wide-ranging consensus about what our core needs consist of. These have been variously listed as:
- belonging, relatedness, or connectedness;
- autonomy: a sense of control in one's life;
- mastery or competence;
- genuine self-esteem, not dependent on achievement, attainment, acquisition, or valuation by others;
- trust: a sense of having the personal and social resources needed to sustain one through life;
- purpose, meaning, transcendence: knowing oneself as part of something larger than isolated, self-centered concerns, whether that something is overtly spiritual or simply universal/humanistic, or, given our evolutionary origins, Nature. "The statement that the physical and mental life of man, and nature, are interdependent means simply that nature is interdependent with itself, for man is a part of nature." So wrote a twenty-six-year-old Karl Marx in 1844.
None of this tells you anything you don't already know or intuit. You can check your own experience: What's it like when each of the above needs is met? What happens in your mind and body when it's lacking, denied, or withdrawn?”
― Gabor Maté, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture
“Is it possible nevertheless that our consumer culture does make good on its promises, or could do so? Might these, if fulfilled, lead to a more satisfying life? When I put the question to renowned psychologist Tim Krasser, professor emeritus of psychology at Knox College, his response was unequivocal. "Research consistently shows," he told me, "that the more people value materialistic aspirations as goals, the lower their happiness and life satisfaction and the fewer pleasant emotions they experience day to day. Depression, anxiety, and substance abuse also tend to be higher among people who value the aims encouraged by consumer society."
He points to four central principles of what he calls ACC — American corporate capitalism: it "fosters and encourages a set of values based on self-interest, a strong desire for financial success, high levels of consumption, and interpersonal styles based on competition."
There is a seesaw oscillation, Tim found, between materialistic concerns on the one hand and prosocial values like empathy, generosity, and cooperation on the other: the more the former are elevated, the lower the latter descend. For example, when people strongly endorse money, image, and status as prime concerns, they are less likely to engage in ecologically beneficial activities and the emptier and more insecure they will experience themselves to be. They will have also lower-quality interpersonal relationships. In turn, the more insecure people feel, the more they focus on material things.
As materialism promises satisfaction but, instead, yields hollow dissatisfaction, it creates more craving. This massive and self-perpetuating addictive spiral is one of the mechanisms by which consumer society preserves itself by exploiting the very insecurities it generates.
Disconnection in all its guises — alienation, loneliness, loss of meaning, and dislocation — is becoming our culture's most plentiful product. No wonder we are more addicted, chronically ill, and mentally disordered than ever before, enfeebled as we are by such malnourishment of mind, body and soul.”
― Gabor Maté, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness, and Healing in a Toxic Culture
Jeroen
Re: Healthy Habits
@IdleChater said:
Have you ever looked into Lojong?
… some of my and the Dalai Lamas favourite teachings
https://www.lotsawahouse.org/tibetan-masters/geshe-langri-thangpa/eight-verses-training-mind
lobster
Direction and the Path
We often refer to being "on the path", or "advancing along the path" and other phrasings that indicate a sort of point A to point B paradigm at work.
I wonder if this is a less than ideal outlook.
It's nearly impossible to live in the world without some kind, of duality in thinking - good/bad, on/off, right/wrong, yin/yang, yes/no, self/other, Lobster and serious ( JK, Lobster 
), and that sort of thing. Put another way, distinctions.
If we read the Heart Sutra, we can draw from it, the distinctions we rely on, even with attention paid to The Path, are in emptiness, without any real substance. Any effort to act upon those distinctions would then be futile. That's not to say that the N8FP is futile, but to view The Path as something that involves effort & progress, may very well be.
So what's left, if trying to stay on The Path, is futile? Well, we have our practice. With Shamatha, we calmly abide in the present. The distinction of being on or off the path, or headed in a right or wrong direction, becomes unimportant. Irrelevant perhaps?
Re: “502” error on this site
We had the same problems with the server backups taking up too much disk space. I got it running again but the underlying problem maybe isn't really fixed, so if it happens again just be patient and I'll kick it back online as soon as I notice. It's not a serious problem, just inconvenient that it keeps cropping up.
Linc
Re: Direction and the Path
I really like the yin/yang depiction of duality. The form it takes has meaning, its not simply one side light and one dark. They flow into each other, increasing and decreasing. The view it represents isn't meant to be a binary even though the terms of each are binary. And the dot in each points to the fact that each contains the seed of the other within.
The yin yang symbol represents the interconnectedness of the world, particularly the natural world. There can be no positive without a negative, no open without closed, no light without shadow. The yin yang symbol itself portrays that interrelatedness. Looking at the symbol, you can see it doesn't have a straight line going through the center to represent the divide between yin and yang. Inside, the dividing line is a soft S-shape. It shows how yin and yang are connected and constantly flowing into and out of each other. At the top of the symbol, as yang swells, yin contracts. At the bottom, yin swells as yang contracts. The ideal situation is when there is an equal balance between the two, as that is when harmony is achieved.
In a similar way the path isn't some direct, linear progression that at one moment one isn't in and the other they are. The "Path" meanders, expands and contracts, moves forward and back.
Some systems of Buddhism kind of start at the end and ask the follower to familiarize themselves with that state. Others move gradually along, increasing the capacity of the practitioner along the way until they are ripe for deeper teachings. Each seem to have merit and some paths, I'm sure, are more suited to some than others. The best medicine is the one that treats your specific ailment and is the one you will actually take.
I'd also add that the Buddha advised us to leave the raft behind once we crossed to the other shore. The point of the path isn't the path itself, the point of the techniques we use aren't the techniques themselves. Once you're able to add 7 and 12 together in your head, no need to continue counting them off on your fingers.
person
Re: Direction and the Path
The metaphor for the path that I’ve grown to like is “a gradual unfolding and revealing”. Generally with enough insight the Buddhist path is like a flower that opens, you see more and more as you move through the process, you don’t really need to do anything but to keep looking and adjusting normally to what you see. Not sure if that gets you where you want to go but it is what seems to be happening to me.
Jeroen
Re: Healthy Habits
Most of the time we need to learn the techniques before we can forget the techniques and be creative. Its possible to jump right in from the start and make something valuable and unique but we can also spend all our time recreating the wheel.
Like anything though we can interact with the teachings, or habits rigidly or creatively. People have differing dispositions and will benefit variously, depending as well on where one is on their path, rather than there being one true way for all people at all times.
person
Re: Healthy Habits
@Shoshin1 said:
I see practicing the Dharma as a form of mind training/sharpening ones skills( or if you like real intelligence) so to speak ...nothing more ...nothing less....
I think zeroing in on real intelligence, as Shoshin is doing here, is a very important point.
But real intelligence is really not so easy to define, and I think lack of clarity in the definition leads to some of the disparities in thought/expression we're seeing in this conversation. But I think we'd agree that intelligence and creativity are two different things. Even if we can't define them with precise semantics, I think we all understand the difference between them.
And it's that word, creativity, that I think belongs in some of the thoughts above. If I were to take rigid disciplined training in a specific realm, assuming that I would be inclined to put up with such, then I think intelligence would help me in the training, or at least not hinder the training and not be impacted/reduced by the training. But creativity, on the other hand, would more likely be vulnerable to training, in a negative way. If I am trained "do it THIS way" or "think about it THIS way" then that is mutually exclusive with creativity but synergistic with intelligence.
I'm not saying formal training is bad; quite the contrary. In many many instances it is the only viable path. For example, many decades ago I trained in calculus. I didn't CREATE calculus of course; I'm not Newton or Leibnitz. Calculus was very well developed, and the methods of teaching it highly refined, long before I ever walked into that classroom. My task was simply to become schooled in its ways.
Some marvel that The Beatles were able to create such rich beautiful music despite a complete lack of music training or even the ability to read and write notation. But The Beatles themselves said that their creativity was specifically BECAUSE of their lack of training. No formally trained musician would ever have started that staccato Em violin riff in Eleanor Rigby with an A on the downbeat. We have that beautiful piece in our world because of creativity and a lack of training.
I don't think there's a universal Yes or No whether training is valuable or desirable. It depends on the desired outcome. If I want to create a grand painting in a new style all my own, and I have a vision of it in my head, then I'm not going to put up with you standing next to me telling me how to blend the colors on my palette. On the other hand, if I want to pass the geography exam, then yes, please do tell me all the questions that will be on the exam, and all the answers, and I'll memorize them before the exam; no creativity needed. Thank you professor.
So, how does this apply to Life? I think the Middle Way is for when you just want to get peacefully down the path without abrading your shoulders on the fringes. De-dukkhanate your vocabulary, stay on the centerline, keep smiling, lay off the late parties and intoxicants, and get a haircut. I think for most of us, this is the best path for most of the things we encounter. But if you want to BUILD a path, rather than be guided down the old one, then don't let yourself get molded by rote. Bump into walls. Bash through them. Revel in the ecstasy. But you won't want to do this for everything (some people won't want to do it this way for ANYTHING). For most things, just listen to the shaved-head guy in the robe, and things will go more easily. He is passing the wisdom of the centuries on to you. Heed well.
Steve_B
Re: Healthy Habits
Where some find joy in a structured garden, others find it in the wild mess. Weeds to some, flowers to others. In the end, on this planet, Mother Nature trains all.
Today I don't think structure is for me. Though I find those who keep it admirable.
Re: Healthy Habits
Discipline is freedom. Flexibility is freedom: rising early, sleeping enough, eating well, exercising regularly (or at least keeping active) and meditating daily. Sounds as clear as water being essential for life!
Some people might do otherwise and lead great and happy lifes, but the following guidelines are a good starting point.
Some people will benefit, some will not.
This is our world. Nothing constant, constant change; yet amongst all these waves a few regularities do arise.
Kotishka