What do you think it means, this mood? I very rarely have feelings of this type, once every half decade or so, and I think they are significant. A sense of dissatisfaction, repulsion, almost disgust can be a kind of sickness, I think it would be wise to pay attention.
Jeroen
This morning I woke up with a deep sense of dissatisfaction over all things spiritual. I often do my meditation in the morning, but today I did not feel like it at all. Maybe it was the dream I had (about trying to catch a group of mice and hamsters with my bare hands) but even reading spiritual books made me feel repulsed.
I tried thinking of Papaji, of Nisargadatta, of Osho, and none of it felt like it was of any worth. It was as if in the night there I had communed with some deep part of myself, and it had told me, these things were not proper guides. And there was an emotional reaction on my part, I believed and actually felt something real about this.
Once someone in a similar mood went to see Nisargadatta, and he said it was a valuable state in which deep work could be done. Oh the irony, that a valueless piece of writing should be giving me advice.
Jeroen
I think that a meditation practice is a beckoning to the disassembly of our ego based identity.
If one's meditation has been limited to specific externals factors (like moods) then that process of disassembly will inevitably lead you to whatever attachments keep that ego structure still standing.
What you call a dissatisfying mood is actually what your practice has been beckoning to.
This dissatisfying mood is your teacher, either as the limit of how far into the deconstruction you are currently prepared to venture into..or the door through which such limitations can be transcended.
One of the primary reasons for setting up and keeping to a formal meditation schedule is to help us move that practice beyond the limitations of our likes and dislikes.
I suspect your current dissatisfaction holds the potential of deeper meditative depths beyond what you have yet to have experienced.
how
My first reaction when reading the OP was to say that maybe (!) there is another area of life which warrants your attention at this time, instead of spirituality.
The other option, which comes to mind now, is that you might have overdone something, such as reading, etc.
Tilopa’s six words of advice…
First short, literal translation - Later long, explanatory translation
1 - Don't recall - Let go of what has passed
2 - Don't imagine - Let go of what may come
3 - Don't think - Let go of what is happening now
4 - Don't examine - Don't try to figure anything out
5 - Don't control - Don't try to make anything happen
6 - Rest - Relax, right now, and rest
Jeroen
I was watching The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King on DVD a few days ago, and suddenly somewhere in the middle of the film the disc started to hang, the picture would pause and after a minute or so would pick up again. It turns out the disc has degraded due to age…
So I did a little research, and it seems that DVDs are only good for something like 20-30 years in the usual conditions. That disc was bought in 2004 or so, so it has had a good run, but this was a bit of a shock to the system.
You see, I have a sizeable DVD collection, most of which date from before 2010 and I feel it would be a shame to throw them all in a skip at some point. I always thought DVDs were a bit like vinyl records, good for a very long time unless you scratched them, but apparently not.
Jeroen
May the New Year bring you joy, peace, love and a victorious life.
Happy New Day, Hour and minute second. We are the victors!
lobster
An interview with the Palestinian Ambassador to the UK Husam Zomlot on Democracy Now
His emotional response at times is understandable ....
One of the comments I came across...
"The US, UK EU and others can never lecture anyone on human rights ever again."
Shoshin1
I like the Tao’s approach to enlightenment, that one should be in harmony with what is. This is the ultimate in letting go, because one’s will disappears in the natural pattern of the world.
Jeroen
It seems to me that one should do what feels right. If you are presented with five styles of zen and your intuition guides you to one, just try it and see how it feels.
For me, meditation was like this. I tried vipassana, I tried shamatha, but in the end something simple like shikantaza, ‘just sitting’ felt better to me, or even Mooji’s instruction to just Be.
Jeroen