Best Of
Re: The practice of 'no-esteem'
@nakazcid said:
I've been thinking about some of the suggestions and practices here, but I'm not sure they address another angle of the problem: the so-called inner critic. Suppose you make a mistake, and the voice in your head screams at you "You f**king idiot, how could you do something so utterly clueless and stupid!! You're a complete waste of space!"This doesn't seem to be a problem of comparing oneself to others, but something else entirely - at least on the face of it. Any tips for countering that tendency?
Self compassion practice is aimed at this sort of internal dialogue. The "critic" is intended to help motivate us into improving but often it serves to demoralize. My understanding of self compassion is that rather than demotivating us by thinking we're already fine, the basis of motivation shifts to doing good for oneself because one wants good things for yourself rather than wanting to avoid bad things. This is a longer term practice.
In the shorter term, a quite effective short hand thought to keep in mind is to imagine your self talk as if you were talking to a loved one. Like if you went around talking to other people like you talk to yourself people would consider you a monster. That simple shift can often be a good practice by itself.
person
Re: The Dalai Lama doing nothing about sexual abuse?
@federica said:
You're absolutely right. The Catholic Authorities insist that such 'transgressions' are dealt with "internally" and all they seem to do is to move the culprit to another post or parish. Talk about "We take care of our own"...And indeed, very often they find support among colleagues, who back them up or protect them, denouncing the accusers as vile liars, and upholding the innocence of the guilty party. You know, when 20 people file a complaint, they can't ALL be liars...
I see these clergy networks, whether Buddhist, or Catholic, or Protestant, Jehovah's Witness, or whoever, as the ultimate Old Boys' Networks. Their members cover for each other.
Dakini
Re: Staying Sane
Whenever I feel like I'm losing my sanity, I just feign crazy for a bit. Prone to bouts of hysterical laughter, reflections of the absurdity of things, and the beauty of insignificance.
Other things that have helped me include deadpan and dark comedy, binge eating sweetbread and dark chocolate(This one only works until you run out and is usually followed by stomach ache), limiting the mind's stage time, compassionate detatchment or discarding of the emotional state. Sometimes with visualization of placing whatever emotional state in one of those bright colored dog poop bags and putting it in a public trash can and leaving it there as I carry on.
Insanity seems to come in a lot of flavors and who society deems insane and sane is often backwards so I try to pay little mind to what society is doing..for my sanity
Re: Staying Sane
My remedies are:
- Sports. Always feel better after.
- As already mentioned, in great crisis, chocolate. Soothes the body-mind.
- Writing down and sticking to a daily routine of positive activities.
- Feel good wholesome movies.
- Socializing in good positive company.
- Stolen from @Jeffrey - "eat the good food first, so that you do not eat the crap later" (paraphrased). If I'm hungry or eat junk, I feel cranky.
- Camomile tea.
marcitko
Re: Staying Sane
Perhaps itis that none of us is completely sane. While, to some, that may seem to establish inherent danger, I feel it provides inherent potential for beauty, grace and growth. After all, if we were not just a little crazy, there would be no adventure, no seeking, no wonder. That little bit of crazy is our window to become greater as individuals and as a people.
Here's to that little bit of crazy that allows us to seek better, to see the beauty in ourselves and all around us.
Peace to all
Lionduck
Re: Staying Sane
Ah yes we have socially acceptable craziness
Eg.
- Consumerism
- Art
- Political
And what many of us consider a better norm (but 'society' may not)
- respect for all living beings (includes Russians and spiders)
- Ascetic living, showering and sitting … just frugality …
- chanting in strange tongues,
- orientation outside of career and family
lobster
Re: The Five Precepts
I tend to find that the precepts coincide with my natural impulse. As long as I stay aware of negativity, of the un-wholesome, then it is not difficult to stick to that. Staying with the dharma and not letting impulsiveness sneak one through is the order of the day.
Jeroen
Re: Do not convert?
In our tradition, we do not ask others to believe. We do not attempt to make them give up their current beliefs. Instead, we request the individual to apply the practice and see the effects....
While the Dali Lama's practice differs from mine, His being a Tantric tradition, I feel that our approach somewhat approximates what he is saying.
Peace to all
Lionduck
Re: The Dalai Lama doing nothing about sexual abuse?
When HH found out about Sogyal Rinpoche, who had been his friend, he publicly rebuked him, and advocated openness:
https://www.lionsroar.com/dalai-lama-denounce-ethical-misconduct-by-buddhist-teachers/
Here in northern Colorado USA there is a spectacularly beautiful Buddhist center part of the Shambhala organization. They had a sex scandal and did not adequately address it:
This was part of a chain of events that ultimately led to the center's bankruptcy.
Steve_B