Best Of

Doctor: So, Ahab, what happened?
Ahab: Well, I'm jus' an ol' country feller on my horse and cart, with ma dawg, jus' amblin' into town, peaceful-like, when on this narrow country road, a big car dun come round the corner, like a hundrid miles an hour, an' WHAM! Mayhem!
Doc: And then the cops came?
A: Uh-huh.
Doc: Well Ahab, you have a broken leg, a broken arm, three fractured ribs, a real nasty head wound, and multiple lacerations..
A: Oh... is THAT why I hurt so bad?
Doc: Yes Ahab, so I'm kinda confused why you told the cop you were feeling just fine?
A: Well the cop went to check on ma horse, which was makin' an awful racket, an' he dun see the horse had 2 broke legs an' looked a godawful mess, so he shot him. Then he went over to ma dawg, which wuz howlin' something awful, saw his broken legs, fractured jaw, an' looked a godawful mess so he shot him, then he cum up to me an' asked "An' how YOO feelin' Ahab?"

Tee hee! @federica.

One of the traditions in Zen monasteries was the walking over a just cleaned floor by dirty footed, more experienced monks.

Part of the training was to not react. After all, many trained samurai retired at Zen monasteries. Reactions could be fatal...

A cop is sent to investigate gunshots heard coming from a small, suburban house.
He calls dispatch.
"Hello dispatch, this is officer Hogan, 249, at the scene, where a shooting has indeed taken place..."
We copy, Officer, describe the situation please."
"Er, yes, dispatch, we have an elderly lady who shot her husband at point-blank range, without hesitation; she states it's because he walked on the floor she'd just washed."
"Copy that, Officer, and you have made an arrest?"
"Negative, dispatch, the floor is still wet...."

Khartoum

A great mystic died. When he reached Paradise, he asked God, "Why was Jesus not born in the twentieth century?"
The Lord God started laughing and said, "Impossible! Impossible! Where would the twentieth century people ever find three wise men or a virgin?"

I iz awake too!

@Jeroen said:
I had an interesting vision last night while going to sleep. It was of a temple, made out of smooth grey stone with columns decorated with white, black and gold symbols from eastern religion — things from the I Ching, I saw a mandala, I think there was an Aum as well. In the middle of the temple there stood a huge carving of my head, with an expression of laughter on my face. The statue was laughing so hard it was crying tears of laughter, it was a bit wild.

Whatever you're having, may I have some? (I know what you Dutch folk like! 😆)