Best Of

Doctor: So, Ahab, what happened?
Ahab: Well, I'm jus' an ol' country feller on my horse and cart, with ma dawg, jus' amblin' into town, peaceful-like, when on this narrow country road, a big car dun come round the corner, like a hundrid miles an hour, an' WHAM! Mayhem!
Doc: And then the cops came?
A: Uh-huh.
Doc: Well Ahab, you have a broken leg, a broken arm, three fractured ribs, a real nasty head wound, and multiple lacerations..
A: Oh... is THAT why I hurt so bad?
Doc: Yes Ahab, so I'm kinda confused why you told the cop you were feeling just fine?
A: Well the cop went to check on ma horse, which was makin' an awful racket, an' he dun see the horse had 2 broke legs an' looked a godawful mess, so he shot him. Then he went over to ma dawg, which wuz howlin' something awful, saw his broken legs, fractured jaw, an' looked a godawful mess so he shot him, then he cum up to me an' asked "An' how YOO feelin' Ahab?"

Tee hee! @federica.

One of the traditions in Zen monasteries was the walking over a just cleaned floor by dirty footed, more experienced monks.

Part of the training was to not react. After all, many trained samurai retired at Zen monasteries. Reactions could be fatal...

A cop is sent to investigate gunshots heard coming from a small, suburban house.
He calls dispatch.
"Hello dispatch, this is officer Hogan, 249, at the scene, where a shooting has indeed taken place..."
We copy, Officer, describe the situation please."
"Er, yes, dispatch, we have an elderly lady who shot her husband at point-blank range, without hesitation; she states it's because he walked on the floor she'd just washed."
"Copy that, Officer, and you have made an arrest?"
"Negative, dispatch, the floor is still wet...."

Khartoum