Inabillity to meditate

TheEccentric

For some excruciatingly annoying reason recently I just can't focus for more than 20 seconds, and end up spending the whole session with my eyes open just fiddling around with an incense stick or just fidgeting around or find some other way of distracting myself, it's incredibly frustrating and I just leave each session thinking "Why should I bother?". It's like trying causes more harm than good and just puts me off more. I have been doing it for 9 months now with only the odd off day but now seemingly everyday is an off day.

karasti

It happens. It's not different from other things in life that way. Sometimes you are really on, and sometimes not. But if you are going into meditation expecting to have on days all the time, you're obviously going to get overly frustrated when they don't happen. Don't have expectations for the outcome of meditation. Even if you only sit quietly, it's of benefit compared to not doing it. You have to make a conscious effort to bring yourself back. If you catch yourself wandering, set a boundary word for yourself. Even if you don't know whether you've been thinking for 2 minutes or 10 minutes. When you notice it, say "thinking" or "stop" and consciously bring yourself back. over and over again. Sometimes you might only have to do this a couple times during a session. Sometimes you might be doing it over and over and over. But it helps train the brain the same way you train a dog or a child by having to tell them no over and over until they get it.

riverflow

I'm sorry to hear that. I sometimes hit rough patches in sitting meditation too--often for no apparent reason. You aren't the only one to get fidgity.

Have you considered other kinds of meditation, such as walking meditation? --not as a permanent replacement, but sometimes a change is needed to shift you into a different mindset. Try another form of meditation for a while, then start integrating sitting meditation with walking meditation. It might help make a smoother transition to sitting meditation.

I also use a mindfulness bell for what amounts to a kind of 30 second meditation which recurs every 15 minutes (when I am at home). Sometimes it isn't the length or depth of meditation that matters, but frequency and regularity.

One other thing-- whether sitting or walking meditation or anything-- one doesn't TRY to meditate, because it only makes things worse. At least in the kind of meditation I do, it is just about observing thoughts as they come and go, like watching clouds pass.

And the best way to keep from simply getting caught up in the thoughts is to notice "I am having a thought about ________________." I find the more specific in describing that thought you notice, the easier it is to allow the thought to simply pass. It will inevitably be replaced by another thought, and so you silently say again, "I am having a thought about ___________." If you can keep doing this, your thoughts may seem to "thin out" a bit more. At least this is what I find helps me.

The rest is patience and trusting the method, whether it is "good" meditation or "bad" meditation. It isn't good or bad, its just meditation.

I hope that helps.

person

The portion of the brain involved in executive function, which is what is used in keeping the mind focused and bringing it back to attention, isn't fully developed in people until about the age of 22. So I imagine having very focused meditations would generally be harder for young people. That doesn't mean that they aren't helpful in developing concentration, in fact meditation would seem to be exactly what is called for.

You might have more success doing some kind of practice that engages the mind like doing sadhanas and mantra recitation or counting the breath.

riverflow

@TheEccentric - Here's a link to the mindfulness bell track I use, if you are interested. (If you have difficulties downloading it, PM me and we can figure out the problem).

http://newbuddhist.com/discussion/18526/mindfulness-bell-for-daily-practice

TheEccentric

karasti said:

It happens. It's not different from other things in life that way. Sometimes you are really on, and sometimes not. But if you are going into meditation expecting to have on days all the time, you're obviously going to get overly frustrated when they don't happen.

I never expect to always have on days, it's not like 9/10 times I have an off day and I am frustrated other the 1/10 times that I don't, I honestly never have off days anymore, ever.

TheEccentric

person said:

The portion of the brain involved in executive function, which is what is used in keeping the mind focused and bringing it back to attention, isn't fully developed in people until about the age of 22. So I imagine having very focused meditations would generally be harder for young people. That doesn't mean that they aren't helpful in developing concentration, in fact meditation would seem to be exactly what is called for.

You might have more success doing some kind of practice that engages the mind like doing sadhanas and mantra recitation or counting the breath.

If the problem where my age then I would have never been able to do it from the start and mantra and breathing meditation is most of what I have been trying to do anyway and I still can't even do that.

karasti

Just keep at it, it'll return. All sorts of things can throw us off, even weather systems. Make sure you aren't turning it into a self-fulfilling prophecy of sorts, too. Make sure when you are sitting down you aren't dreading or expecting to have a bad session. Meditation is important but it is only a portion of practice. Maybe it would be a good time to bring in another element (but keep working at the meditation of course) such as the mindfulness bell that @riverflow mentioned. I love that practice and find it immensely helpful!

Enigma

Have you learned meditation from a teacher or practiced meditation with a Sangha? My meditation practice deepened significantly with this type of guidance and I imagine it might be helpful for others as well.

riverflow

^^^
THIS.

TheEccentric

Enigma said:

Have you learned meditation from a teacher or practiced meditation with a Sangha? My meditation practice deepened significantly with this type of guidance and I imagine it might be helpful for others as well.

I have been attending a meditation class and my practice flourished from it, now for some reason, even with that class it is worse than ever.

Vastmind

Maybe you can't get your new anthem out of your head.

I admit this will be offtopic:

I really debated on whether to entertain that video you
posted in another thread....but I have to get this off my chest.
It's bothering me.
That video was mean-spirited and made just to be ugly.
What kind of 'ism' was that?
I'm sure you have been in that position before, yourself.
Most of the time....bad breath indicates a health
problem..even if it's just a bad cold. Which we both
know is no fun.
Making fun of people to that extent is not good for your
practice and mentality.
Just sayin'.
Was that REALLY the best thing that happened to
you on that day? You can do better than that.

Again, I do apologize to all for going off track.

Enigma

TheEccentric said:

I have been attending a meditation class and my practice flourished from it, now for some reason, even with that class it is worse than ever.

Maybe talking to the instructor one-on-one would help. They might be able to give you some useful advice.

That said, meditation practice is by no means smooth sailing. There are rough patches along the way. What's most important is being able to steady the boat even when passing through choppy waters. See if you can stay afloat rather than capsize. Every storm is sure to pass in due time.

fivebells

@TheEccentric, how are you meditating?

TheEccentric

@Vastminds That song was fictional and not about a real person, how is a jokey song about a situation that never existed mean spirited or making fun out any one? If you find that song so offensive then you should bring it up with the youtube user who posted it not me.

You clearly have taken that video the wrong way the person made it not to make fun out of anyone but as a song about a fictional situation, how is making a joke not directed at anyone mean-spirited?

Vastmind

OKay, I could be wrong. I'll try to be open about taking it
the 'right' way. As of right now...I stand by what I said.
I'm sure you do too.
I'm not offended...just thought it wasn't productive for
the thread, that's all.... Or for you or me, for that matter.
I took it up with you, because you are the one that posted
it here...not her.

TheEccentric

If you think that the video is counter productive for the thread then PM Lincoln, Federica or someone to delete, why post it on an unrelated thread because not only does it derail a discussion that may help people but makes it seem that you are merely trying to embarrass or annoy me.

If you find something as trivial as that bugs you so much you clearly are taking things far to seriously.

caz

TheEccentric said:

For some excruciatingly annoying reason recently I just can't focus for more than 20 seconds, and end up spending the whole session with my eyes open just fiddling around with an incense stick or just fidgeting around or find some other way of distracting myself, it's incredibly frustrating and I just leave each session thinking "Why should I bother?". It's like trying causes more harm than good and just puts me off more. I have been doing it for 9 months now with only the odd off day but now seemingly everyday is an off day.

Its good to begin a Meditation session with prayers before hand, For example if you are meditating on the Lamrim there are particular Sadhana's to perform before the actual meditation begins these prayers calm and focus the mind and create the causes for various accomplishments they help better meditation so its always good to do them.

TheEccentric

caz said:

TheEccentric said:

For some excruciatingly annoying reason recently I just can't focus for more than 20 seconds, and end up spending the whole session with my eyes open just fiddling around with an incense stick or just fidgeting around or find some other way of distracting myself, it's incredibly frustrating and I just leave each session thinking "Why should I bother?". It's like trying causes more harm than good and just puts me off more. I have been doing it for 9 months now with only the odd off day but now seemingly everyday is an off day.

Its good to begin a Meditation session with prayers before hand, For example if you are meditating on the Lamrim there are particular Sadhana's to perform before the actual meditation begins these prayers calm and focus the mind and create the causes for various accomplishments they help better meditation so its always good to do them.

Are they the ones in the Meditation Handbook by GKG?

karasti

@TheEccentric it fits in this thread because if you are negative in your mind then your meditation is going to suffer as well. The situation might not have been real, but if you are a person who suffers chronic bad breath for reasons you cannot control, or due to illness (this happens to our son on occasion because of his diabetes) then realizing there are people out there saying you smell like fart breath just isn't very compassionate or nice. Jokes and funny songs are most certainly fun, but things that could cause someone to feel bad about their situation aren't funny. I, too, felt it was pretty out of place, especially when you very rarely post in that thread and then finally when you do that was what you shared. I just hope that there are better things in your life on a daily basis than something like that.

Meditation tends to happen in stages for everyone, and when you reach a problem or a different stage, that is when it's beneficial to talk to a teacher, so I agree with the advice on talking to someone at your meditation group/center. They likely have been through something similar and will have good advice on how to work through it, better than can be explain in a text medium.

TheEccentric

It does not fit into this thread and @vastminds knows it, that's why they said it was off topic themselves, they just saw it as an excuse to just jump in and bring it up with me.

It is off topic because it has completely derailed the thread from the original topic, if I have upset them or you then you have every right to talk about it to me but please do so via PM.

Otherwise vastminds has just spat on a perfectly good discussion.

fivebells

@TheEccentric There are many different kinds of meditation intended as a response to various issues. From the OP, it sounds like you are struggling with the hindrance of restlessness and anxiety. Classic prescription:

The Buddha said:

"And what is the food for the arising of unarisen restlessness & anxiety, or for the growth & increase of restlessness & anxiety once it has arisen? There is non-stillness of awareness. To foster inappropriate attention to that: This is the food for the arising of unarisen restlessness & anxiety, or for the growth & increase of restlessness & anxiety once it has arisen.

"And what is lack of food for the arising of unarisen restlessness & anxiety, or for the growth & increase of restlessness & anxiety once it has arisen? There is the stilling of awareness. To foster appropriate attention to that: This is lack of food for the arising of unarisen restlessness & anxiety, or for the growth & increase of restlessness & anxiety once it has arisen.

Thanissaro said:

In other words, both [stillness and nonstillness] can be present [in the mind] at any time. It's simply a matter of how to ferret out, appreciate, and encourage the moments or areas of stillness.

If you tell us some more about how you are meditating, we can tell you how to fit this adivce into your practice.

karasti

I don't think it's entirely off-topic. Just depends how often things like that frequent the time you spend on a regular basis. Humor most definitely has a place in our lives but there is a difference between good humor and frivolity (in my opinion anyhow) and when we fill our time and our heads with frivolity too often, then it takes us away from the Buddhist path.

TheEccentric

karasti said:

I don't think it's entirely off-topic. Just depends how often things like that frequent the time you spend on a regular basis. Humor most definitely has a place in our lives but there is a difference between good humor and frivolity (in my opinion anyhow) and when we fill our time and our heads with frivolity too often, then it takes us away from the Buddhist path.

OK

lobster

you want to fidget?
Fidget!

try 15 mins of walking meditation and five minutes sitting . . .

person

I think I'd try to look at behavior outside of the meditation sessions. For example spending time playing video games or surfing youtube videos will have a different effect on your mind than reading a book or playing an instrument. This may be what is effecting your meditation rather than any particular technique. Of course, its up to you where you want to place your focus, I'm just trying to point out a possible source of mental distraction since that's what is bothering you.

caz

TheEccentric said:

caz said:

TheEccentric said:

For some excruciatingly annoying reason recently I just can't focus for more than 20 seconds, and end up spending the whole session with my eyes open just fiddling around with an incense stick or just fidgeting around or find some other way of distracting myself, it's incredibly frustrating and I just leave each session thinking "Why should I bother?". It's like trying causes more harm than good and just puts me off more. I have been doing it for 9 months now with only the odd off day but now seemingly everyday is an off day.

Its good to begin a Meditation session with prayers before hand, For example if you are meditating on the Lamrim there are particular Sadhana's to perform before the actual meditation begins these prayers calm and focus the mind and create the causes for various accomplishments they help better meditation so its always good to do them.

Are they the ones in the Meditation Handbook by GKG?

Yeah there are two specific one for doing Lamrim, Prayers for meditation and the longer one called Essence of Good fortune. Its very important not to jump straight into meditation or it won't be as successful as we'd like and inevitably we will become disappointed and perhaps give up prayers help sow the seeds of success in the mind.

They can be found at Tharpa or your local centre.

http://www.tharpa.com/uk/prayers/printed-prayers/essence-of-good-fortune-booklet.html

Essence of Good Fortune

Prayers for the six preparatory practices for meditation on the stages of the path to enlightenment

Developing the realizations of the stages of the path to enlightenment depends upon four things: accumulating merit, purifying negativities, receiving the blessings of the Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, and Spiritual Guides, and training the mind in the actual meditation on the stages of the path. The supreme method for accomplishing the first three is the six preparatory practices. These are:

Cleaning the meditation room and setting up a shrine with representations of Buddha's body, speech, and mind.
Arranging suitable offerings.
Sitting in the correct meditation posture, going for refuge, generating and enhancing bodhichitta.
Visualizing the Field for Accumulating Merit.
Accumulating merit and purifying negativity by offering the practice of the seven limbs and the mandala.
Requesting the Field for Accumulating Merit in general and the Lamrim lineage Gurus in particular to bestow their blessings.
The essence of these six preparatory practices is contained in the following prayers, which should be recited with each session of meditation.

http://www.tharpa.com/uk/prayers/printed-prayers/prayers-for-meditation-booklet.html


Prayers for Meditation

Brief preparatory prayers for meditation

We all have the potential to gain realizations of all the stages of the path to enlightenment. These potentials are like seeds in the field of our mind, and our meditation practice is like cultivating these seeds. However, our meditation practice will be successful only if we make good preparations beforehand.

If we want to cultivate external crops, we begin by making careful preparations. First, we remove from the soil anything that might obstruct their growth, such as stones and weeds. Second, we enrich the soil with compost or fertilizer to give it the strength to sustain growth. Third, we provide warm, moist conditions to enable the seeds to germinate and the plants to grow.

In the same way, to cultivate our inner crops of Dharma realizations we must also begin by making careful preparations. First, we must purify our mind to eliminate the negative karma we have accumulated in the past, because if we do not purify this karma it will obstruct the growth of Dharma realizations. Second, we need to give our mind the strength to support the growth of Dharma realizations by accumulating merit. Third, we need to activate and sustain the growth of Dharma realizations by receiving the blessings of the holy beings.

The brief prayers in this booklet contain the essence of these three preparations. For more information on them, see the books The New Meditation Handbook and Joyful Path of Good Fortune.

Hope this helps.

Florian

person said:

I think I'd try to look at behavior outside of the meditation sessions. For example spending time playing video games or surfing youtube videos will have a different effect on your mind than reading a book or playing an instrument. This may be what is effecting your meditation rather than any particular technique. Of course, its up to you where you want to place your focus, I'm just trying to point out a possible source of mental distraction since that's what is bothering you.

Great advice. Thanks for reminding me.

Jeffrey

You can do it theeccentric.. your worries will pass and change

After years of solitary meditation in a cave, interspersed with visits to Milarepa, Gampopa finally completed his training and was ready to leave his master… Gampopa asked him for final instructions. Milarepa, however, simply said, "What is needed is more effort, not more teachings." And he would say no more.

Gampopa set off and had already crossed a narrow stream when Milarepa shouted to attract his attention one last time. The guru knew that he would not see Gampopa again during this lifetime. "I have one very profound instruction," Milarepa said…

Gampopa looked back.Milarepa suddenly turned around, bent over, and pulled up his ragged robe, displaying buttocks as calloused and pockmarked as a horse's hoof, hardened from so many years of seated meditation on bare rock. "That's my final instruction, heart-son!" he shouted. "Do it!"

TheEccentric

Thank you to every one who helped, I have taken your advice and it's working, I am now back on the meditation wagon.

Cinorjer

TheEccentric said:

Enigma said:

Have you learned meditation from a teacher or practiced meditation with a Sangha? My meditation practice deepened significantly with this type of guidance and I imagine it might be helpful for others as well.

I have been attending a meditation class and my practice flourished from it, now for some reason, even with that class it is worse than ever.

You've been meditating regularly for about nine months now? Then you're right on schedule for the mind to throw the usual tantrum. I've had about a third of a meditation class drop out by the end of the first year because of this.

Your mind is bored with meditation. Happens to all of us. When it's new, the fact that we're exploring something new keeps our mind focused and interested. But now it's just another chore. You know what meditation feels like. You're comfortable doing it.

The mind actively resists boredom. It wants stimulation. I honestly believe the entire driving force behind the Koan technique is to give the student something to do so they aren't bored out of their minds.

The good news is, this mind tantrum comes and goes. It's a stage, that's all. There is no good and bad meditation, only mindful observation. Before this, you observed what a mind focused on something new and interesting acts like. Now you're observing what a restless, bored mind acts like. Eventually, you'll observe what a mind that is relaxed and in no hurry feels like.

riverflow

Lovely news! You've made my day!

Dan3673

I've recently hit a very similar rough patch to TheEccentric, this is all great advice. Reminds me why I visit this site.

footiam

TheEccentric said:

For some excruciatingly annoying reason recently I just can't focus for more than 20 seconds, and end up spending the whole session with my eyes open just fiddling around with an incense stick or just fidgeting around or find some other way of distracting myself, it's incredibly frustrating and I just leave each session thinking "Why should I bother?". It's like trying causes more harm than good and just puts me off more. I have been doing it for 9 months now with only the odd off day but now seemingly everyday is an off day.

When you need a break, take one!