ecards

Jeffrey

What do people think of ecards? Those are the cards on facebook that have a graphic of donna read looking person and then they say something really cynical like "how about a nice cup of shut the fuck up?" I don't like them because people are taking pride in abrasive behaviour but maybe I am just retarded for being all halo and no horns.

misterCope

I think that what really matters is the intent behind the ecard. If you're sending the above example to a buddy as a joke, then hey, whatever. If you're sending it to be nasty, that's another story.

I do think, however, some might take mild offense at casual use of the word "retarded."

Jeffrey

Sorry about that. I hate when people use the term 'crazy'. The thing with the eecards are that it goes to all your friends on FB and not just your buddy. I don't think anyone is meaning to be nasty. I think it is a fixation on being better than others.. those 'others' who deserve a cupa stfu. It just seems like negativity to me. There are so many cards bemoaning people driving slow in the left lane and so forth. I am perplexed because I would NEVER EVER post something that implies that everyone who doesn't do X just doesn't 'get it'. It's ego in some way, no?

federica

Most people post a minor preamble to the image, like 'LOL!!' or "So true for me!" or "I found this soo funny!" and most of their friends will see the humour.
Some tickle my funny bone, others less so. But I'm never offended, because it's posted as a general funny, not a personal attack on me.

C'mon, Jeffrey....lighten up ..... If you're that averse to 'idle chatter' or 'unskilful speech' then why even have a FB account?
95% of stuff on there is completely superfluous....
You might as well delete the account and withdraw altogether....

Jeffrey

You'd have to see some of the people who post this om my circles. NRA member who claim to make cat stew, real life.

federica

well block them then.
I'm failing to see what the issue is, here.
Remedies for 'what ails you' are always at your fingertips, quite literally....

Jeffrey

I dislike how they say "i am the super real one 'gets' it and 'others are idiots'."

federica

Well block them then.
I'm failing to see what the issue is, here.
Remedies for 'what ails you' are always at your fingertips, quite literally....

Oh, hang on....
I said that already.....

I've given you the remedy.
Why keep complaining about it?

Do something about it to prevent yourself from seeing it.

(Remember the tale of the three monks going to the beach?)

Dandelion

I think when ppl post things like that, they're just letting of steam. I say, let them. It's not your steam, you don't have to get involved emotionally, or any level, or give it your energy. You don't have to have certain ppl's posts coming up on your feed either. Go to the particular friends page, and click on 'friends', and a little list wil come up. UnClick on 'show in newsfeed', and they will be none the wiser you no longer see their posts. A good alternative if blocking and unfriending seems a little harsh.

MaryAnne

I've taken more than a few people off my newsfeed. Unfriending them completely did seem a little harsh (although I have done that once or twice as well), and it might have caused a confrontation where I didn't think there needed to be one. So a quiet click of the mouse and *Poof* off the newsfeed.
Now I see the nonsense they post IF I wish to, and to do that I just need to go to their FB page itself....

darkghost

i think in the long run you may be looking to much in to it and you could always take them off you friends list or stop following them and that wont show up on your fb like a feel ppl have said already. and federica i think its less of a complainant and more of a hey am i the only person that finds that stuff just not funny and i could see how some of the the post may look like a complainant but hey just my point of view :P. but i do like some of them others i just lol at and move on i dont bay most any attention. but in the long run you have the power on weather or not you see them :0

karasti

Why do you have friends like that, Jeffrey? It sounds more like the people you are keeping online company with than a problem with the cards. I've never once seen a friend of mine use them in such a way. That said, almost the entirety of FB is egotistical. It exists entirely to feed our egos so that we feel good when people like our comments or when we make a point in a comment. That's why it's so popular. Removing people from your newsfeed (or selecting not to receive updates when they post photos or whatever it is you don't like that they do) is a great feature. Highly recommend. Makes dealing with difficult family members much easier

If you don't like what your friends post, then save yourself the trouble of having to see it. If you don't like the egotistical banter on FB might be better to not use it and find something else instead because that is all there is for a lot of the people who use it.

That said, I found it interesting that you find it bothersome when people use the word "crazy" but thought nothing of saying "retarded." Why assign an adjective at all? What's wrong with saying "Maybe I just don't get it."

Jeffrey

@karasti, I have friends from a beer brewing forum. Even the super right wing one(s?) is a nice guy to your face and is fun to talk about beer with. I like the warm fuzzy behaviour on FB sharing neat stuff. I have been known to share Buddhist quotations and I am happy to ponder over Biblical quotations.

Yeah I know I can block people. My comment on e-cards is partly shadenfreude (black humor) making fun of those people. Not cool, Jeffrey, that violates the lojong slogans. We Buddhists have a high standard and it's hard for *us* to vent steam.

Thanks for all the suggestions. I'm a strange duck; I like to see the good the bad and the ugly. I'll take it lightly now rather than see it as a symptom of dukkha to post 'I know better than *those people*' type eecards posts. Positivity is just my favored food.

genkaku

One of the best ways to make friends is to stay away from Facebook.

Jeffrey

Why do you say that, @genkaku? Does it distract from their social life? As a schizophrenic recluse text based formats like forums and facebook allows me to participate from a distance whereas since my mind is so slow and I am bottled up it is hard to speak in public company. Either way I get frustrated. I guess there is the warmth of being with a real person, but I experience rage sometimes in company because I can't express myself in an appropriate way. EQ is the same as wealth; the rich grow richer and the poor grow poorer.

vinlyn

Where I think people go wrong with Facebook is thinking that the people on there, whom they've never met, are their friends.

But since retiring, and moving from Virginia to Thailand to Colorado, Facebook has been very helpful in helping me keep up with many of my friends. It's also allowed me to get in touch with the wife and daughter of a foreign student we had in our home back in the 1960s!

Why people post irrelevant material on Facebook, I've yet to understand. I don't care if you're going to the grocery store or that your dog chased a neighbor's kid. But I might care if you got married, divorced, saw mutual friends, or are dying. Just keep it relevant.

misterCope

I just wrote an essay about Facebook and how it is only a tool. If you use it to avoid people, you will avoid people. If you use it to connect with people, you will connect with people.

Dandelion

genkaku said:

One of the best ways to make friends is to stay away from Facebook.

Awww @genkaku! Noooooo! Facebook is great for making events to invite your friends to; a nice dinner at the weekend, art show, picnic in the park, music gig, etc etc. It's how you use it, that makes the difference I.m.o

karasti

Yep, it's just a tool, depends how you use it. I can say that except for the couple of people from here that are on my friends list, I have met every person on my friends list and actually consider them real life friends (and family) that I spend time with. Of course, some are family I'm a bit stuck with even though I'd rather not be, lol, but I manage. It's invaluable to keeping in touch with friends and family who do not live here (we have moved as well) and my husband has a HUGE family (his parents have a combined 17 siblings) and keeping up with them and sharing kids' pictures and stuff wouldn't happen otherwise, not as often as it does. We couldn't afford to print the pictures and send them in the mail, lol. It certainly has it's uses, one just has to be cautious what those uses are. I've seen some wonderful things happen via FB, lots pets who were found and reunited, even lost children, good deals on buying stuff, help from neighbors, and so on. The other day a young mother in our town dropped her tip envelope after work and lost a bunch of money. After posting on FB to see if anyone found it, someone anonymously went to her home and left money taped to her door (behind a storm door, lol). So, if you look for the good, that's what you'll find, as always. When the bad rears it's ugly head, you have a choice on what to do with it. Personally, I have spit out coffee reading some of the ecards that are posting because I was laughing so hard, and some mornings, I need the laugh more than the coffee, so I appreciate them for what they are and shrug and go on at the ones I dislike.