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Family won't take me seriously about my choice to practice buddhism?
buddhagrace
New
I don't know if they think it is just a phase or that i'm having a laugh with everyone but i have looked into this and debated over topics for a while now and I feel very put down by my family and friends reaction. I just though there would be any recommendations as to how i can achieve a level of amicability between everyone?
thanks everyone
thanks everyone
0
Comments
How about not debating? People dont care much to feel put apon by another's belief even when they are doing the same.
The only person your practice matters to is yourself, as it should be. No need to feel that others have to validate it.
I am not invalidating your choice, just suggesting that if it is a phase, like the tap dance lessons you took when you were six, or the piano lessons that you took when you were eleven (inserting guesses), you only knew that it was a phase when you reached the end of your lessons. Going through phases in natural and probably healthy. Perhaps if you approached them with the idea that they may be right, but it would be helpful if they made it possible for you to 'get it out of your system' they might be more willing to indulge you.
If it is not a phase, they'll probably figure that out after a few decades.
People need never know you are a Buddhist. I only tell people if they ask (and then I'm still discreet). I don't remember the Buddha or his followers going around getting huffy because people didn't take them seriously. Their behavior drew people to them by reputation. At first, Buddhism is a very private business within yourself, it's not showy or at odds with your current environment.
Lots of folks come to Buddhism for the sake of the identity, and that's where not getting seriously comes in. YOU take Buddhism seriously, make it a lifestyle of the mind and heart, not something other people must accommodate you for
@Buddhagrace i dont want you to think we are not validating your feelings on the matter, but most of us go through this beginning phase where "omg buddhism is so cool why doesn't everyone know this!" where we probably were annoying and pushy to our friends and family.
You come to eventually see that the way other people take notice of buddhist practice is through watching you do yours and the positive changes that occur. when you have the confidence in yourself and your practice, that is when you will be validated, and by that time you wont care either way.
4 thought came to mind....
If you choose to take on specific dietary requirements that differ from the rest of your family then you should expect to be responsible for making your own meals.
That your family sees your food choices as a slam against their food choices is to be expected.
I assume that you also know that being a vegetarian or vegan is not a requirement in Buddhism.
Being incredibly set on anything seldom reflects a Buddhist practice.
Let them think or say what they want to think/say and just keep practicing. Whatever happens will happen.
Its unlikely though that you will be able to win them over through the perfectly crafted argument. If over time your practice and dedication help you become a kinder more considerate person, they will notice that change and appreciate the quality of Buddhism, through your being not your words.
Buddhism is a lot about being in the present. About making the most of every moment. About accepting all the things that life brings, good, bad, frustrating, irritating, sad, anxious and everything in between.
If you really just got started very recently, give it time. Most adults see the fruit in the labors of following something for a longer period. Don't worry about coming out of the Buddha closet just yet. Just practice, study, meditate. Live your life. Do what you can, that is within your control the best you can. After a time, perhaps you can go back to your parents and note to them that you'd like to try being vegan and if you are willing to help buy the food and cook it, would they support you and help you out? You might be surprised how they respond. Or you might not. But it is something you can control in the rest of your life not very far from now.
When I was 17, I wanted to be a wolf biologist. Turns out, I hated biology. I wanted to live in Florida. LOL NO WAY. I wanted to marry the boy I was dating. Turns out, 20 years later, he's clearly absolutely not the right person for me. I was 110% sure then that he was. It was so strong I would have bet my life on it. Feelings at that age are incredibly strong, and it takes a lot of experiences and full maturity to be able to not react so strongly to them. Give it time
And in fact, I sometimes see that kind of attitude here in the forum, with someone complaining about a lack of respect for Buddhist, and then putting down Christianity.
Either situation bothers me.
Sounds like a plan
:clap:
Have patience with them and they will come to understand.
There are stages to Buddhism for people discovering something wonderful and transformative. The first stage is to expect everyone to understand how wonderful this thing called Buddhism is, and then be disappointed when they look at you like you told them you're gay or decided to worship trees.
So just be yourself. Do you care that a friend is Jewish or Catholic or whatever? You know them as friends. Work on your own life and believe me, they'll notice a difference eventually.