Hello!
Zetsu
Explorer
Hi I am quite new to Buddhism. I honestly decided to convert (I used to be of the Jewish faith) because of how free thinking a peaceful this religion seems to be. My friend honestly told me that I should convert to this religion because of how much of a peace lover and free thinker I am. I honestly just have a few minor questions. I am sorry if I seem really naïve with a lot of this so please bear with me. I am only at the age of 15 and have been trying to understand a few topics.
One that I have seen that I find confusing is the topic of being Homosexual, Bi-sexual, etc.. I read on a form on another website that they are accepted except they cannot be monks. Can someone please explain why this is it really is puzzling my mind.
The second thing is I have a tendency to have a bad temper when someone is to "attack" a loved one or friend. Could this be a major problem for me and this religion?
Third is my diet, I don't eat meats and only fish but I would like to know if there are any other foods I should avoid eating
Once again I am sorry if I seem to be very naïve but I am just starting out. I have read about this religion in school many times so I know some basics but I still want to make sure that things are done correctly.
Comments
Salutations! I'll briefly answer your first question, and leave the second to others:
"Buddhism" has many flavors, and most of them have no issue with any type of sexuality (hetero or otherwise)... though most prohibit all monks and nuns from any sexual contact, so it doesn't matter what your inclinations are. As a "lay" Buddhist, a non-monk/nun, you shouldn't run into any problems.
As far as I know only the Dalai Lama has stated some negative things about homosexuality, but he doesn't represent all of Buddhism (only Tibetan Buddhism, and perhaps not even all of that). You'll find that Buddhism isn't itself anti-LGBT at all, but some cultures that have embraced Buddhism kinda are, so the politics gets mixed in with the religion. The Buddhism emerging in America doesn't tend to be anti-LGBT, probably because we're moving forward in our thinking here.
Take it all with a grain of salt is my advice. Buddhism is about finding your truth, and the truth, not about dogma concerning sexuality!
Oh okay @AldrisTorvalds this was just a random thought that was puzzling my mind and it honestly was making no sense what so ever. Most other religions that I have seen give LGBT members a bad name which is a thing I have no tolerance for and is one of the biggest reasons why I gave up my past religion. I told someone who was homo phobic "Well if you don't see them as normal how about this, what if we lived in a alternate universe were people that were straight would be considered the "different" and "unmoral" people, would you not beg for people to want you to allow them to be who you are and love who you wish?" I remember this so well because a lot of people had agreed with my statement while they guy I was talking to merely ignored me completely and I got a little mad but let it go because you cannot change someone's mind when they don't wish to see form a different view. I am straight and my partner is Pansexual. I don't have any beef with anyone and I don't judge unless if someone gives me a high reason to. Such as telling someone to change who they are when they are doing nothing wrong or setting on personal attacks.
Hi Zetsu, I will give you my sense of things.
Well just for one thing monks are celibate! And that said in some traditions the dharma teachers are not monks. And then also some of the moral sense came from Feudal cultures. For example the Dalai Lama at one time said that the only moral orifice was a vagina. (I think) He later changed his statement and said that any relationship was good provided there are two consenting adults who love each other.
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In Buddhism we try to overcome anger. Anger is a distortion of the Buddha quality of seeing through obstacles. By overcoming anger we release the non-distorted Buddha energy that is the purified form of anger. So when anger is purified we are left with a peaceful nature that is creatively solving problems.
Again there are some ancient beliefs based on yoga. Onions are an example of something that affects your 'wind'. I don't know too much about that and I in fact eat onions. The only problem I see with onions is 'passing wind' hehe.
Food is a debated thing amongst Buddhist folk, but that thread has been hashed over agian and again (search vegan here). Some will say do not kill any meat-giving animal, including fish, while others eat meat. The result here has been two camps of idea set, with Buddhists choosing to allow either depending on what their choices are. Western Buddhists often are meat eaters and recognize that something had to die to give them meat. Eastern Buddhists are often non-meat-eaters. Do as you choose in that regard, I would say.
As to anger, folks will sometimes get angry, but Buddhism teaches developing equinamity as something to be valued and developed.
Some Buddhists are homophobic. But a difference is that they see that as their own problem rather than the people that are the object of their prejudice. In Buddhism you take the responsibility on yourself and should not inflict on others.
Hmm... that makes sense. As long as the relationship is not based off of lust then they are fine... that is pretty basic XD.
@Jeffrey I have tried to refer to the quote "Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die" this was something that I always try to keep in mind but can be the most difficult for me. I have lost a lot of people to bullying and quite frankly I loose all self control. I am not afraid to admit that I have over steeped my bounds sometimes but it was for a VERY good reason.
Oh okay so it all depends on how far you go back into the religion that affects your aspects of how you eat. Kind of like how nowadays where you live affects what you eat around you but in a sense of time.
@Straight_Man Ah.. wow! I did not know how much more free this religion was! A lot of others that I have seen were not anything like this! They were quite uptight with a lot of things and it honestly drove me bonkers. I am really glad that things are somewhat more laid back.^_^
@Jeffrey So they do not concentrate at equality and only think about their own self worth?
Welcome @zetsu.
Take your time. Buddhism is a pretty good practice whether someone is homosexual or heterosexual, eats crappy or good food, gets angry or is more loving than a kitten.
Take your time. Practice. Don't worry about getting things wrong: That's what Buddhists do -- get things wrong and then correct them. Does it work all the time? Nope. Take your time. Practice anyway. Judaism is based in the law. Buddhism is based in experience.
Best wishes.
@genkaku thank you ^_^ its just really different seeing a religion that is not pointing fingers at everyone saying that everything is wrong wrong wrong.
Well, I am not Jeffrey but I will throw two cents worth at you:
Buddhism values compassion for self and others (ideally equally), so given compassion and equinamity one should indeed respect that others have their own choices or selves to look out after and we should not try to choose for them. Good result is equality in practice, yes, for Buddhists.
Oh okay that makes sense so respect others ideals and yet have our very own.
There is nothing in Buddhism against homosexuals.
Why should there be, it goes against Buddha's teaching to
be kind and compassionate to all.
The Buddha does not forbid any food except intoxicants.
Oh okay... well I am too young for any of that so that settles that.
I wish that were true @cook99. One of the largest Buddhist Sanghas in the western world says that homosexuality leads to ' hell states.'
Lets put away the whitewash..
If you are referring to the Dalai Lama, then it is one of the smallest sect in the Buddhist world.
Anyway, he was responding to a question. And he responded negatively
bcos he thought it was unnatural. After all, he became a monk when he was
a baby and he lived with monks in Tibet. What do you expect him to know about
gay people and gay sex.
Let's not equate 1 comment from the Dalai Lama with Buddhism having anything against homosexuals.
Who exactly does a Pansexual have intercourse with? I mean, how many more sexual leanings can we invent? Up to hetero-, homo-, bi- and metro- I had everything down pat, but pan-...
Am I getting old? ..
:eek2: ..
@dharmamom If I'm not mistaken, pansexuals are the omnivores of sexuality. They don't care what your sexuality is... you can be anywhere on the spectrum, and if you're up for it and so are they... bada-bing, bada-boom.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexuality
The main question is "How is that different from bi-sexuality?", at least in my mind, and the Wiki had this answer:
No I was not talking about HHDL @cook99.
I am talking about the large number of Chinese Sanghas , amounting to tens of thousands of people in the west, both Chinese, and other groups who are Buddhist converts, who follow the Surangama Sutra. Which say that gay sex leads to hell realms.
This includes the enormous Sangha based around The City Of Ten Thousand Buddhas in California.
Really no different than some other religions that have a problem with homosexuality, based on human prejudice and not any kind of facts or reality. Even Buddhists (and forms of Buddhism) can be wrong and prejudiced @Zetsu, because humans can be wrong and prejudiced, remember this always. Focus on suffering and the cessation of suffering, the real purpose of Buddhism, and not dogmatic assertions of homosexuality being some kind of sin.
Even "love thy neighbor as thyself" Christianity didn't realize that slavery was immoral, or that women are equal to men, once upon a time. There's no religion that doesn't suffer from human fallibility. Buddhism seems to have a lot more pros than cons, but that doesn't mean the cons don't exist. Follow your conscience in that regard, along with reason and empathetic understanding.
Having said that, the Surangama also promises hell states for people who eat onions..
The point being that we can't just invent a Buddhism that suits our sensibilities by ignoring what we find inconvenient.
It is as it is..much of it has great appeal for modern westerners. There are other elements that require some careful reflection.
Pansexuals don't care about appearance or sex only the personality of the person. That is their main attraction.
So if you are 15 both you and your partner are committing an illegal act..
And that would be the case if you were gay or hetero.
Did we need another definition for that?
Hee, hee......
I am straight, and how is that illegal?
When it comes to "pansexuals," I'm behind the times with @dharmamom ... I mean, are sheep and chickens included
When it comes to homosexuality, I imagine it's time to break out the Buddhism and the Buddhism by the book. No insult intended towards either. I imagine various texts may take a dim view of one thing or another -- homosexuality among them perhaps -- but since I imagine that homosexuals are every bit as capable of suffering as the rest of humanity and since Buddhism is laid out to address suffering, I simply cannot imagine that they too might not benefit from practice.
Sexuality is nifty stuff, but in some realms it's really a minor matter ... or that's my take. To me it's like saying that people with blue shirts cannot practice Buddhism because ... well, we all know how horrific blue is.
Me too.
I thought it was some sort of cooking fetish, involving a pressure cooker and whisk. Always good to learn . . .
and now back to our sexual educators . . .
Do pansexuals have sex with pot heads?
A minor cannot -- legally -- consent to sex.
If the issue is a minor having sex with a non-minor, that's illegal. However minors having sex with each other... I'm not sure about that. Teens have sex all the time, get pregnant mostly due to not having proper education about contraceptives, and I don't think they really get in legal trouble about that. They might be in trouble from their parents though!
I looked up the Wiki for where I live (Pennsylvania) and here it's more or less what I thought: "it is legal for minors 16-17 to have sex with each other but not with a partner 18 or older". The laws differ depending on where you are (so look up your own area and ages; I've given the link for North America below if applicable, to determine if there are any legality issues. Better to research and know than trust some dude/dudette on the 'net!).
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_North_America
Hello, and welcome to NewBuddhist. I should start my mentioning that there's no need to convert. My advice is to take what you find useful and try to apply it to your life and see how that works first.
I'm not sure about other Buddhist traditions, but this is definitely not the case in Theravada. There's no issue with being gay/bi-sexual and a monk.
I think it could be a major problem regardless of what religion you choose to follow, if any. Short tempers have a way of getting shorter and harder to control when left alone. It may not hurt to do something to temper that temper a bit.
From the Theravadin perspective, the only things you should definitely try to refrain from eating is anything that's still alive and has to be killed to eat, e.g., lobster in many restaurants, raw oysters, etc.
Shalom Zetsu from another JuBu. To be perfectly blunt, you don't have to "convert" as such. Just follow. And I'm not only worried about you converting as a minor, but also because your friend told you to. You should only do something because YOU feel it to be right. I don't think at this stage you know enough to make an informed decision yet.
May I recommend you look up Lama Surya Das? He was born and raised Jeffrey Miller, an Orthodox Jew in New York? I could identify with his questioning and searching ultimately embracing Buddhism. I think it would really help you to get his perspective on things.
Metta,
Raven
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@Zetsu Saw this on my Facebook today and thought you might like it (haven't read the thing yet, my internet is going slow):
https://secure.avaaz.org/en/petition/United_Nations_Day_of_Vesak_UNDV_Present_Ajahn_Brahms_gender_equality_paper_the_2015_UNDV_conference/?dnUXicb&pv=2
That link is a petition to un-ban Bhikkhu Bodhi's paper on gender equality... and they're only looking to get 500 signatures, so please sign and help out!
We had a Tibetan Buddhist monk on the forum for awhile and he was homosexual so obviously not all TB traditions prevent homosexual monks.
@AldrisTorvalds signed. Thanks for sharing
You can view Buddhism either as a religion or as a philosophical/psychological system.
Whatever definition you prefer, I think the word "convert" is a little premature at this stage, when you seemingly don't know much about Buddhism.
And I agree with @dhammachick that the decision to convert if anything, must come from you, not because of someone else's referral.
Since you come from a Jewish background, I agree with her that Lama Surya Das could make enlightening reading. But coming to think of it, many of the finest writers on Buddhism (Jack Kornfield, Joseph Goldstein, Mark Epstein, Sharon Salzberg, Daniel Goleman, Paul Ekman, Jon Kabat-Zinn) are JuBus, so you're spoilt for choice.
And before getting sidetracked by the should nots and ought nots, investigate a little further what Buddhism is all about, the beauty of the doctrine, the equanimity in the outlook, the acceptance of life as it is, warts and all.
There are no ten commandments here, only precepts, so don't schlepp along all the Judeo-Christian tradition into your study. Reboot yourself and erase all the programming and start here with a fresh look.
Anger is not a problem with this religion. Anger is natural and mostly a problem for you. As the Dhammapada states, "You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger."
You have some legwork ahead of you.
Also do not forget the Dalai Rabbi is Jewish on occasion. :crazy: .
These identities become less constricting, less defensive, less of an issue. We in essence not our cultural history, changing psyche, body, age etc. These things effect us karmically but ultimately we are beyond them . . .