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@shadowleaver said:
I sometimes get stuck in difficult emotions so deeply that I feel that I am going crazy and all is lost. Efforts to untangle myself from that net only seem to entangle me more.
Understood. In dharma Dukkha and Ignorance are closely linked. Emotions are part of arisings or 'mind'. The allowing is part of the reason we replace our emotional needs with skilfull emotive practices if required. For example we can develop deep attachments to gurus, teachers, Boddhisatvas and dharma practices. That in time untangles our crazed ensnarements.
We are through experience reminded of Dukkha. We are through dharma reminded that it is not inevitably acceptable or inevitable. Our response can be changed.
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federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
@Namada, sorry but I deleted your post. It is a political, global matter and off topic here.
Whatever example we want to present as the hardest thing in our life to accept, at bottom it'll always come down to the three marks of existence: impermanence, not self and suffering.
They are always the big lesson to learn.
It takes a lifetime. Sometimes more.
0
personDon't believe everything you thinkThe liminal spaceVeteran
People with power putting up a show of being noble while secretly working to undermine and harm genuinely noble people who might be a threat to their power.
1
DavidA human residing in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Ancestral territory of the Erie, Haudenosaunee, Huron-Wendat, Mississauga and Neutral First NationsVeteran
The same thing that is sometimes the easiest... Change.
I used to lie a lot. It was a mode of protection to what I considered to be attacks when people, even my parents, couldn't or wouldn't accept my real answer. So I lied to make things easier. It was a trust thing. I didn't for a very long time trust anyone with who I really was. Who I was wasn't appreciated or recognized from an early age so I quickly learned what was acceptable and did my best to meet it, and sometimes with some people, it meant lying. And I mostly don't regret it, either. If the alternative was being ridiculed for being myself again, I'd take the lying hands down. I don't do it any more because I don't need to. Thankfully, my family changed over the years. But getting back to who I lost of myself when I was young has been a life long venture. I try to make sure I don't do it to my kids (though I'm sure I still do on some levels) no matter how much who they are tests me, lol. Some days, it's a lot. But it's good for us both.
ANYHOW. The hardest life thing for me is not being able to control outcomes. I hate dealing with processes, I just want to get to the outcome, and not being able to push the process to the point we arrive faster at the outcome is very hard for me. Dealing with the process of my son applying to and visiting colleges has been a nightmare for me, LOL. But that's ok, too.
@dhammachick said: In Your Life, What Is The Hardest Thing To Accept?
Stupid people being able to breed. Not much I can do about it, so I try to focus on making sure I'm not one of them and that I can try to leave the world a better place than when I entered it. shrugs
I'm not sure what is the hardest thing for me to accept in an overall big picture, but the above response that i highlighted is what is hardest idea for me to accept in this thread: That people can look at other people and put a zero value on that life, or the lives that they may help to create, based on some arbitrary standard of intelligence? Simply put, that's fucked up. So it's hard for me to accept that people can create/inflate a value of themselves based on the perceived value of another person. Uber fucked up.
1
silverIn the beginning there was nothing, and then it exploded.USA, Left coast.Veteran
@TheBeejAbides said:I'm not sure what is the hardest thing for me to accept in an overall big picture, but the above response that i highlighted is what is hardest idea for me to accept in this thread: That people can look at other people and put a zero value on that life, or the lives that they may help to create, based on some arbitrary standard of intelligence? Simply put, that's fucked up. So it's hard for me to accept that people can create/inflate a value of themselves based on the perceived value of another person. Uber fucked up.
That did sound harsh, and I can tell you that I've had many a cynical, dark thought in my life, but they came from passing moods. She may one day in the distant future have someone come up to her and say remember what you said and she might not even be able to recall it! That's the funny thing about moods. Here one second, gone the next.
She may actually feel that way 24/7, and we wouldn't even be aware of it under normal circumstances and I'm fairly certain she is capable of acting in a manner that allows her to live life normally.
I myself doubt that she really and truly puts a zero value on anyone's life. I can't explain why I feel that way, but there it is fwiw.
@silver
You are probably correct in your assumption that the posting in question was a mood related response. After all, so was my response to it. But the underlying thought process exhibited in the posting suggests an Us vs. Them philosophy that is likely born out of ignorance or unwillingness, and that's not what makes a "better world" in my opinion. Its basically a tame Eugenic philosophy that is on par with racism, nationalism, elite-ism, and all the other Us vs. Them philosophies. Also, there are three people who marked it as "insightful", so its plain to see that its a philosophy shared by many people. We'll reap what we sow on that one....
Next time I'll put the sarcasm font on in bold for you shall I? rolls eyes If you,want to call me fucked up, take it to PM or shut up.
Everyone's a hero when they hide behind a keyboard and monitor.
But the underlying thought process exhibited in the posting suggests an Us vs. Them philosophy that is likely born out of ignorance or unwillingness, and that's not what makes a "better world" in my opinion.
You assumed entirely way off base. Next time ASK before calling me fucked up in a public forum. I would not call you that.
Ignorance, arrogance, and hatred. Come to think of it they are probably all the same thing.
Metta.
2
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
WOAH!! Guys, language, please!! What on earth happened??
Watch yourselves and check before you post!
Will NOT tolerate this kind of low, thoughtless and thoroughly unskilful bickering.
Enough. Cool off before you decide to post personal remarks, criticisms and responses, ok?
I see any more of this kind of language - spoken in anger in that way - and you cause yourselves a world of grief in the process.
Now - Pack it in.
0
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
@silver said:That did sound harsh, and I can tell you that I've had many a cynical, dark thought in my life, but they came from passing moods. She may one day in the distant future have someone come up to her and say remember what you said and she might not even be able to recall it! That's the funny thing about moods. Here one second, gone the next.
>
She may actually feel that way 24/7, and we wouldn't even be aware of it under normal circumstances and I'm fairly certain she is capable of acting in a manner that allows her to live life normally.
>
I myself doubt that she really and truly puts a zero value on anyone's life. I can't explain why I feel that way, but there it is fwiw.
I apologize if I contributed in any way to any of this by my awesome stamps or anything. It's just that it's hard sometimes —when you read an individual statement— to be able to see the entire context of the discussion.
That said, when the subject of the OP is taken more narrowly, things might go along more harmoniously. In this context, "What in your [OWN] life is the hardest thing to accept?" Not just, "What things are hard to accept?" That's just straying too far afield, IMO.
I know I've started a thread where one person paid no attention at all to the first post and ran off with it (or rather, away from it) to a place that had nothing whatsoever to do with the real topic; but in his mind the little narrow side-issue he was obsessed with trumped all other considerations. Of course, the thread ended badly, needless to say.
Comments
Understood. In dharma Dukkha and Ignorance are closely linked. Emotions are part of arisings or 'mind'. The allowing is part of the reason we replace our emotional needs with skilfull emotive practices if required. For example we can develop deep attachments to gurus, teachers, Boddhisatvas and dharma practices. That in time untangles our crazed ensnarements.
We are through experience reminded of Dukkha. We are through dharma reminded that it is not inevitably acceptable or inevitable. Our response can be changed.
@Namada, sorry but I deleted your post. It is a political, global matter and off topic here.
Whatever example we want to present as the hardest thing in our life to accept, at bottom it'll always come down to the three marks of existence: impermanence, not self and suffering.
They are always the big lesson to learn.
It takes a lifetime. Sometimes more.
People with power putting up a show of being noble while secretly working to undermine and harm genuinely noble people who might be a threat to their power.
I used to lie a lot. It was a mode of protection to what I considered to be attacks when people, even my parents, couldn't or wouldn't accept my real answer. So I lied to make things easier. It was a trust thing. I didn't for a very long time trust anyone with who I really was. Who I was wasn't appreciated or recognized from an early age so I quickly learned what was acceptable and did my best to meet it, and sometimes with some people, it meant lying. And I mostly don't regret it, either. If the alternative was being ridiculed for being myself again, I'd take the lying hands down. I don't do it any more because I don't need to. Thankfully, my family changed over the years. But getting back to who I lost of myself when I was young has been a life long venture. I try to make sure I don't do it to my kids (though I'm sure I still do on some levels) no matter how much who they are tests me, lol. Some days, it's a lot. But it's good for us both.
ANYHOW. The hardest life thing for me is not being able to control outcomes. I hate dealing with processes, I just want to get to the outcome, and not being able to push the process to the point we arrive faster at the outcome is very hard for me. Dealing with the process of my son applying to and visiting colleges has been a nightmare for me, LOL. But that's ok, too.
My oldest daughter (24) having MS. Think I'd be OK if it was me that had it instead of her.
(((lamaramadingdong)))) That is tough
No emoticon will suffice. Unbelievable what people endure and are willing to do. Tough indeed.
I'm not sure what is the hardest thing for me to accept in an overall big picture, but the above response that i highlighted is what is hardest idea for me to accept in this thread: That people can look at other people and put a zero value on that life, or the lives that they may help to create, based on some arbitrary standard of intelligence? Simply put, that's fucked up. So it's hard for me to accept that people can create/inflate a value of themselves based on the perceived value of another person. Uber fucked up.
That did sound harsh, and I can tell you that I've had many a cynical, dark thought in my life, but they came from passing moods. She may one day in the distant future have someone come up to her and say remember what you said and she might not even be able to recall it! That's the funny thing about moods. Here one second, gone the next.
She may actually feel that way 24/7, and we wouldn't even be aware of it under normal circumstances and I'm fairly certain she is capable of acting in a manner that allows her to live life normally.
I myself doubt that she really and truly puts a zero value on anyone's life. I can't explain why I feel that way, but there it is fwiw.
@silver
You are probably correct in your assumption that the posting in question was a mood related response. After all, so was my response to it. But the underlying thought process exhibited in the posting suggests an Us vs. Them philosophy that is likely born out of ignorance or unwillingness, and that's not what makes a "better world" in my opinion. Its basically a tame Eugenic philosophy that is on par with racism, nationalism, elite-ism, and all the other Us vs. Them philosophies. Also, there are three people who marked it as "insightful", so its plain to see that its a philosophy shared by many people. We'll reap what we sow on that one....
Next time I'll put the sarcasm font on in bold for you shall I? rolls eyes If you,want to call me fucked up, take it to PM or shut up.
Everyone's a hero when they hide behind a keyboard and monitor.
You assumed entirely way off base. Next time ASK before calling me fucked up in a public forum. I would not call you that.
Ignorance, arrogance, and hatred. Come to think of it they are probably all the same thing.
Metta.
WOAH!! Guys, language, please!! What on earth happened??
Watch yourselves and check before you post!
Will NOT tolerate this kind of low, thoughtless and thoroughly unskilful bickering.
Enough. Cool off before you decide to post personal remarks, criticisms and responses, ok?
I see any more of this kind of language - spoken in anger in that way - and you cause yourselves a world of grief in the process.
Now - Pack it in.
>
>
>
Just an aside...?
"She" - has a name.....
I apologize if I contributed in any way to any of this by my awesome stamps or anything. It's just that it's hard sometimes —when you read an individual statement— to be able to see the entire context of the discussion.
That said, when the subject of the OP is taken more narrowly, things might go along more harmoniously. In this context, "What in your [OWN] life is the hardest thing to accept?" Not just, "What things are hard to accept?" That's just straying too far afield, IMO.
I know I've started a thread where one person paid no attention at all to the first post and ran off with it (or rather, away from it) to a place that had nothing whatsoever to do with the real topic; but in his mind the little narrow side-issue he was obsessed with trumped all other considerations. Of course, the thread ended badly, needless to say.