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....and the vendor smiled and took the $20 bill from the monk and said "form is emptiness-emptiness is form" and took off up the street...(The vendor had form ...in more ways than one )
@Shoshin said:
....and the vendor smiled and took the $20 bill from the monk and said "form is emptiness-emptiness is form" and took off up the street...(The vendor had form ...in more ways than one and left the monk 'empty' handed:D )
@thug4lyfe Keep saying that at the beginning of every post "Kia Ora" and it will really piss some people off no end, and in time your wish for a banning will no doubt be fulfilled
2
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
Oh Puh-leese! We have NEVER banned ANYONE for saying 'Kia Ora'.....
A Pom, fresh off the plane at Sydney airport, is trying to negotiate Australian customs. Finally, when it's his turn to get his passport stamped, the customs officer starts rattling off the usual questions:
C.O. "How long do you intend to stay?" POM"One week."
C.O. "What is the nature of this trip?" POM"Business."
C.O. "Do you have any past criminal convictions?"
POM with a surprised look"Oh ...I didn't think we still needed to!"
Here's a (fabricated, I think) Catholic joke that a priest at my Sister's parochial school told (bearing in mind the awfully banal commercials shown on American television):
The priest said he asked a bunch of kids somewhere what was meant by the Resurrection. One boy spoke up and said, "I don't know, but if it lasts for more than 4 hours, you better call the doctor."
As a promotion, some company offers free airline tickets. Once the aircraft has taken off and been in the air some minutes, an announcement comes over the public address speakers:
This aircraft is being completely controlled by recording devices. There are no pilots aboard. But you have absolutely nuh-nothing to worry about-t. Nothing can possibly go wrong... wrong... wrong...wrong... nnggg. ng... ng... ngh...
lol I came here today just to re-read this thread
it's been below zero all day, every day for the past 11 days. Yesterday the windchill went down to -45F and I still had to walk my kids to the bus stop. I'm losing my sense of humor. Yay for wacky Buddhists
A Buddhist phones the monastery and asks the monk, “Can you come to do a blessing for my new house?”
The monk replies “Sorry, I’m busy.”
“What are you doing? Can I help?”
“I’m doing nothing.” replied the monk. “Doing nothing is a monk’s core business and you can’t help me with that.”
So the next day the Buddhist phones again, “Can you please come to my house for a blessing?”
“Sorry,” said the monk, “I’m busy.”
“What are you doing?”
“I’m doing nothing,” replied the monk.
“But that was what you were doing yesterday!” said the Buddhist.
“Correct”, replied the monk, “I’m not finished yet!”
From the Dalai lama's speech.
Dalai lama was telling about refugees from tibet who finally settled in Nepal. But due to poverty one women got converted to Christianity. But she was feeling very uneasy for that. Once upon she got chance to talk with Dalai lama. She told all story to Dalai lama. She told that she is so sorry to convert to other religion and asked to forgive. Finally she said that in next birth she will be definately born as Buddhist.
But Dalai lama replied " How it can be possible! Chritians do not believe in rebirth."
"A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!" A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'" The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam." The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, "I didn't know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way." He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, "That's the spirit, Dad! Now pass the f*cking potatoes!""
"Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!""
In a bid to secure warmer temperatures in winters to come, some citizens of North Dakota —where wind-chill temperatures have recently dipped down to -50º F— are encouraging Donald Trump to pledge support for building a wall between Canada and the United States. The Republican primary is March 1st. Advocates are asking that a mile-high wall be built to keep out the cold air from the north in the winter and that it be engineered to be lowered to let out all the hot air in the summer. Proponents of this plan say that their idea makes a lot more sense than building a wall between Mexico and the US, and for two reasons: First, there are way too many liberals in Canada and we have enough already. And secondly, the idea of building a wall on our southern border is just stupid, as it's too easy to tunnel under walls, as proven already in high-security installments in Afghanistan.
"A drunk was standing at a noisy bar, when the bartender saw a man behind him having a heart attack, so he shouted out "Does anybody know CPR ???" The drunk feeling somewhat smug, yelled back "I do...in fact I know the whole alphabet !"
3
personDon't believe everything you thinkThe liminal spaceVeteran
Comments
^^^
The buddhist monk approached a hotdog food truck. What did he ask for?
Nothing.
@federica hahahaha, well, at least your bad karma is resulting on listening to the same bad joke multiple times, that gotta be some good karma!
Who says the kamma is bad? It could be neutral. Which may in itself be simply monotonous....
a: To get to the other side. (With thanks to KFC)
You cannot step twice into the same rivers.
Bodhisattva Heraclitus
http://en.m.wikiquote.org/wiki/Heraclitus
....and the vendor smiled and took the $20 bill from the monk and said "form is emptiness-emptiness is form" and took off up the street...(The vendor had form ...in more ways than one
)
empty tummy err empty of hotdog rather than empty of self.
( One for @Bunks
)
"What do you call a field full of Australians? A vacant lot."
Kio ora bro!!!!
Wrong country mate but you're close.......we say "G'day cobber!" over here
@thug4lyfe Keep saying that at the beginning of every post "Kia Ora" and it will really piss some people off no end, and in time your wish for a banning will no doubt be fulfilled
Oh Puh-leese! We have NEVER banned ANYONE for saying 'Kia Ora'.....
....yet.....
A Pom, fresh off the plane at Sydney airport, is trying to negotiate Australian customs. Finally, when it's his turn to get his passport stamped, the customs officer starts rattling off the usual questions:
C.O. "How long do you intend to stay?"
POM "One week."
C.O. "What is the nature of this trip?"
POM "Business."
C.O. "Do you have any past criminal convictions?"
POM with a surprised look "Oh ...I didn't think we still needed to!"
Here's a (fabricated, I think) Catholic joke that a priest at my Sister's parochial school told (bearing in mind the awfully banal commercials shown on American television):
The priest said he asked a bunch of kids somewhere what was meant by the Resurrection. One boy spoke up and said, "I don't know, but if it lasts for more than 4 hours, you better call the doctor."
Knock knock......
Who's there?
Lion
https://sp.yimg.com/ib/th?id=OIP.M46ac37f25212a4e95b1d2b4f70120b6ao0&pid=15.1&rs=1&c=1&qlt=95&w=188&h=114#inline
What's the difference between an optimist and a pessimist this time of year?
"An optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves."
BILL VAUGHAN
As a promotion, some company offers free airline tickets. Once the aircraft has taken off and been in the air some minutes, an announcement comes over the public address speakers:
This aircraft is being completely controlled by recording devices. There are no pilots aboard. But you have absolutely nuh-nothing to worry about-t. Nothing can possibly go wrong... wrong... wrong...wrong... nnggg. ng... ng... ngh...
lol I came here today just to re-read this thread
it's been below zero all day, every day for the past 11 days. Yesterday the windchill went down to -45F and I still had to walk my kids to the bus stop. I'm losing my sense of humor. Yay for wacky Buddhists
A Buddhist phones the monastery and asks the monk, “Can you come to do a blessing for my new house?”
The monk replies “Sorry, I’m busy.”
“What are you doing? Can I help?”
“I’m doing nothing.” replied the monk. “Doing nothing is a monk’s core business and you can’t help me with that.”
So the next day the Buddhist phones again, “Can you please come to my house for a blessing?”
“Sorry,” said the monk, “I’m busy.”
“What are you doing?”
“I’m doing nothing,” replied the monk.
“But that was what you were doing yesterday!” said the Buddhist.
“Correct”, replied the monk, “I’m not finished yet!”
From the Dalai lama's speech.
Dalai lama was telling about refugees from tibet who finally settled in Nepal. But due to poverty one women got converted to Christianity. But she was feeling very uneasy for that. Once upon she got chance to talk with Dalai lama. She told all story to Dalai lama. She told that she is so sorry to convert to other religion and asked to forgive. Finally she said that in next birth she will be definately born as Buddhist.
But Dalai lama replied " How it can be possible! Chritians do not believe in rebirth."
"A boy is selling fish on a corner. To get his customers' attention, he is yelling, "Dam fish for sale! Get your dam fish here!" A pastor hears this and asks, "Why are you calling them 'dam fish.'" The boy responds, "Because I caught these fish at the local dam." The pastor buys a couple fish, takes them home to his wife, and asks her to cook the dam fish. The wife responds surprised, "I didn't know it was acceptable for a preacher to speak that way." He explains to her why they are dam fish. Later at the dinner table, he asks his son to pass the dam fish. He responds, "That's the spirit, Dad! Now pass the f*cking potatoes!""
"Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!""
In a bid to secure warmer temperatures in winters to come, some citizens of North Dakota —where wind-chill temperatures have recently dipped down to -50º F— are encouraging Donald Trump to pledge support for building a wall between Canada and the United States. The Republican primary is March 1st. Advocates are asking that a mile-high wall be built to keep out the cold air from the north in the winter and that it be engineered to be lowered to let out all the hot air in the summer. Proponents of this plan say that their idea makes a lot more sense than building a wall between Mexico and the US, and for two reasons: First, there are way too many liberals in Canada and we have enough already. And secondly, the idea of building a wall on our southern border is just stupid, as it's too easy to tunnel under walls, as proven already in high-security installments in Afghanistan.
If you didn't care for that joke, here's one even Worser:
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/12/opinion/the-brutalism-of-ted-cruz.html?action=click&contentCollection=opinion&module=NextInCollection&region=Footer&pgtype=article&version=column&rref=collection/column/david-brooks&_r=0
So he's a CHrISIS... I'll say....
"A drunk was standing at a noisy bar, when the bartender saw a man behind him having a heart attack, so he shouted out "Does anybody know CPR ???" The drunk feeling somewhat smug, yelled back "I do...in fact I know the whole alphabet !"
Knock, knock
Who's there?
Broken pencil
Broken pencil who?
Never mind it's pointless