When do you become a "Buddhist?"
33_3
Veteran
October 05,2014 my brother passed after a long illness(cancer). I was with him for months the grief crippled me emotionally. I was about to seek counseling. In talking to a therapist we decided that I had the help I needed.
I began to read books "Living Buddha Living Christ by Thick Nhan Hun and The Biography of Sakyamuni Buddha by Venerable Master Hsing Yun. I am actively reading text, videos and live Webcasts by The Dali Lama. This has helped me understand death.
My life is changing. My mind is beginning to clear. I am more focused. My current goal is to follow the teachings of The Dali Lama and Buddha as best I can as a lay person.
A contact I made in India advised me not to jump from frying pan into the fire.
Each day I learn more.
Thank You
Comments
There's no 100% consensus, but many people would say it's when you Take Refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma, and the Sangha... either at a Buddhist temple/etc. in a ceremony or in your heart as a resolution to follow them as examples and guides. The latter is more important than the former.
It could just be when you're comfortable calling yourself a Buddhist, but if you're not following the Buddha's teachings that wouldn't mean much.
Hello & welcome, @33_3.
You'd think I was making commission off of this book, but I LOVE THN's Buddha bio, "Old Path White Clouds" and am re-reading it for the 2nd time. It has really opened my eyes and my heart about the Buddha and Buddhism.
My condolences about your brother.
An on-line friend got me over to a non-dual type forum, and from there became interested in Buddhism. I had to find a different way of life, and of looking at life because of my son's death (Mar. 3, 1987 to Feb. 14, 2010). So, I know about that grieving stuff becoming extreme.
Welcome to our forum, 33_3.
I can see your contact's point.
I think his concern lies in the possibility he sees of you finding a 'filler' to compensate for your brother's death, and the fear on his part that you're leaning on something to make up for the void in your life, left by your brother's passing.
Seeking solace in Religion, after a traumatic event, is not unheard of, and I can understand their concern.
That said, I also know of the transformative effect possible through being open to a Spiritual influence, and to be honest, Buddhism may be better than most, because there is no promise of redemption, no automatic sign of comfort, no vague assurance of a 'soft place to fall'.
In its message, Buddhism can be brutal and strip you naked, and indeed, expose the vulnerability of the grieving Being.
The hard work, the redemption, comfort and solace, come from you, and your digestion of what you read, learn and absorb.
Perhaps you have come across the story of Kisa Gotami? I recalled this story the instant I read your post.
I commiserate with you, for the loss of your brother.
I welcome you with open arms to our forum.
And I wish you much joy, comfort and serenity, on your personal journey, wherever, and however it takes you.
Keep practicing Triple jewel and noble eightfold path with easy anapana breath meditation.
I am feeling that i have achieved something but may be too early...........
I'm sorry about your brother. I was a cancer nurse for years, and after the patient died, I knew the suffering was far from over for the family.
I have an opinion, and it is if you want to be a Buddhist, and choose to abide by the precepts, read books and learn to meditate, why, you already are a Buddhist.
Buddhism could be an extreme comfort to you right now. But like Federica said, Buddhism is about scouring your soul, facing ugly and horrifying parts of yourself with compassion and acceptance, and doing the same with others no matter how awful.
Thich Naht Hahn is about the most comforting person in the world, I think reading his books are perfect for you right now. Later on, you'll want to explore around.
You are a Buddhist if you feel like one. Unless you want formal recognition to determine if you are really a Buddhist, just compassionately and with awe accept this 'gift'.
I think you become a "practitioner" when you start practicing at least one of the precepts, or start meditating, or start mindfully practicing compassion. When you put the theory you read about into practice, then you're a Buddhist practitioner, vs. someone doing research, and soothing themselves with comforting words.
BTW, it's "Dalai" Lama. "Dalai", meaning "vast", or "vast as the ocean", in Mongol.
Totally agree. I'm a big fan of TNH. Living Buddha, Living Christ is just beautiful.
Hmm I used to think that way too, but I can't say I agree with that. I often "feel like a Buddhist" but act like a complete asshat. I'm certainly TRYING to be a Buddhist, and have been doing so with complete sincerity and seriousness for several years now, but I still have my shortcomings. I think it's important to make sure we don't make it sound like a Wiccan self-initiation - quick, easy and simple. Because I know from my experience is it anything but that.
Maybe I'm inept? shrugs
_ /\ _
I think meditation can give you time to just be with your feelings. Not that any feeling in particular needs to be there.
But honey, being an asshat is not NOT Buddhism. If anything (my personal understanding, mind you) "Buddhism" is about being real and honest and genuine in the moment. Maybe the only difference is a Buddhist KNOWS she's is being an asshat and wished next time she does better
?
^^^^ Asshats 'r Us . . .
Better than being a noble Arahat pain in the . . .
Yes Mr Cushion
I must be kind to Boddhisatvas . . . Got it!
Understood. Barely. Hard.
It is OK to be devastated emotionally. Metta (Love) to you.
Will dedicate my morning confrontation with my nemesis the accursed know it all Mr Meditation Cushion. No rest for the Buddhistically inclined . . .
when you get the Buddhist 'decoder ring' you understand that the secret message of the dharma is to 'drink more Ovaltine'
^^^ We haz plan!
Ovaltine! Gawd, I hated that stuff.
NT 1
Existence is suffering . . .
oh well TV, radio and Internet ain't gonna save us.
We needs new plan . . .
What was NT 2 (Noobei Truth 2) again . . . something about the causes of aversion and attachment to malty goodness bedtime drinkies . . .
m m m . . .
I
NB 
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I had read that story many years ago not aware of Buddha's teachings . It does address what I am attempting to accomplish. On the Morning of my brothers service I went to the ocean and said good-bye. I talked to him telling him he was probably more confused than me. I told him I would learn how to find him. Two months late I found Buddha . If I can rid my mind of guilt and sorrow, I get closer each day. Everyone uses his teaching differently as it is not a religion i a traditional sense.
The only house is a Zen house. I know nothing of Zen Buddisim. For now I study on my own.
I got the quote wrong, sorry. I start "On the mornin...."
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That thing screws up all the time.
Just put one of these ">" below the quote if there isn't one, go down a couple spaces before you start your own post. And, highlight and paste any part of the quote that doesn't show up. Works for me.
(*)
Zen is a part of what's called Mahayana. It tends to emphasize meditation practice over study, so it would be a good placeto get intruction in meditation.
Hello! Nice to meet you!
>
The quote facility is.... Challenging to say the least! Thank you for your response
I fixed your post for you, because as a Mod, I can do good things too!
Can you say a little more about the Zen House?
For your info:
http://www.zenforuminternational.org
and
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treeleaf_Zendo
. . . may help get your house in order . . .
Honey?
No need to be condescending because I have a different viewpoint from you........
I'm sure she wasn't being condescending. TBH, I think, given her profession and Life-experience, @Hamsaka is probably the least condescending person I know. I think she was being (invented word alert) 'Comradely....'.
Now just sit down, untwist your knickers, and drink your cocoa like a good girl.
Merry Christmas, everyone!! Much love!!
My knickers aren't twisted, they're in the laundry basket
I spiked my cocoa too.........
Good for you! Going Commando and tiddly!!
Have a great Yule, @dhammachick.... Thinking of you....
My statement about my local Buddhists group is that it is Zen, which as stated seems more meditation based with limited teaching except for children. I do need to learn mediation techniques. Presently I have a thirst for knowlsdge. I need to get a better handle of father various types such as Zen. When does one look for a teacher? I have many questions I will look for or make a new post. Thank You
Talk about the limitation of the written word! Reading 'condescension' into that word is about what you think of the word, which I'd have no idea, though now I do
Apologies! Should I have said "sugar" instead? 
Put it into practice.
If it makes sense to you, and you feel the label suits you fine, then you can call yourself a Buddhist.
Be aware that Zen is just one school of Buddhism.
Try it for size, if you wish, otherwise consider other options till you find the one that appeals to you.
Dhammachick is fine. Or Raven.
Oh come on....It's Christmas!! Can't we promote you to 'Robin'....? :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:
I think you give own certificate. And after all how many people call themselves atheïst and say God is stupid but run around in a new age store hanging onyx stones around they're necks to cure they're ailments. (Not judging, I just think to trust in stones that heal you requires a leap of faith.)
And there is christians that forgot to turn the other cheek, but then again... But as long as you join the fight vs ego your a buddhist I think, but I am a simple guy, and I look at buddhism as something plain and simple. No pedestals etc... And I am sure the Buddha explained things quite simple.
Edit:
Also I think in buddhism now I think of it even if someone calls himself a buddhist you cannot really worry about them if they in your eyes are not because you should not really judge others in such a negative way so no need to get defensive if someone that did practice for a week calls himself a buddhist.
In Netherlands we have something called Zen and they are known on the webz as zen.nl and they give courses everywhere, now comes the catch. They teach mindfulness, the guy that made it a Dutch guy is no longer welcome in a monastary in Japan, the teacher there gave him something as a gift for they're friendship he now figured he could become a zen master and went and made zen.nl. He also gives courses and in 2 years time I could become a zen master teaching people zen.... Only bad thing is that sadly those that join those classes do think they are doing zen but are doing mindfulness, and surely have no teachers with experience, but just some people that followed a 2 year course. So that is telling a lie, and for newbies that get caught in it it's a bad thing.... But that's about it.... The only negative way I can think of to say your a buddhist to lead people in wrong directions so they stray.
Only if you're Batman
I'm Superwoman.... will that do....? PMSL.....