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Envious.. so so envious

Envy must be my middle name by now. Its been almost 6 years that I have been alone. In my youth too, it doesn't get any easier from here out. I can be happy, I am happy infact most of the time but lonliness will always be the dark side that lurks out if sight never to be hit by the sun.

I have a large family with many brothers but I have always felt like the runt of the litter and I have seen them all flourish in there success with the opposite sex but none more than my first younger brother. He has always been the one that has never needed a personality because he's been blessed with looks. He is no stranger to being cat called by girls calling him "the most beautiful man I've ever seen". Women just love him and I hate that so much as it just leaves me to compare myself to him and wonder whats wrong with ME. I have poor social skills even though mine our probably better than his but it doesn't matter he doesn't need em.

Life is unfair for sure but I thought there was a glamour of hope when he lost his hair, BEFORE me. He looked ten years older, all of a sudden things weren't going so well for him and I'm not gonna lie, I was happy about this. I was hitting the gym and really looking after myself and it finnaly felt like perhaps I might be the better looking one for a change but then he got this wig thing stuck on his head.

Suddenly the old him returned, an all to familier feeling of jealousy hit me. Now he is getting thw same attention as before with a massive head to go with it.

He tells me all the stories of how his dates go and I do try to pat him on the back with a smile but deep down I curse him. He was down and out but all he did was glue some hair to his head and all of a sudden he's Jack the lad again. Can you imagine how that would make my blood boil? Now every time he mentions a girl or I see him constantly fiddling with his fake hair it just reminds me of the shallowness of it all. I can already feel it getting to me, I live with him and work with him but he's getting insufferable to be around so I'm becoming a grumpy shit around him. The envy is strong within me.

Comments

  • NamadaNamada Veteran
    edited June 2016

    Iam bald too, and girls just love me, I glueed some gras on my skull, its growing again and its green ;)

    You dont need to be the prettiest guy in the street to get a nice girl.

    What matters is how you treat people around you, if you are walking around with a grim and angry face because your brother is prettier, you will absolutly get what you deserve and thats nothing.

    If you dont have the look you defently need to learn some dharma skills

    silverWalkerVastmindmmo
  • techietechie India Veteran

    @Mingle said:
    He was down and out but all he did was glue some hair to his head and all of a sudden he's Jack the lad again.

    How did he manage to do that? Just asking cuz in the future it may come in handy. Thanks.

    mmoCaptain_AmericaherbertoDeformed
  • MingleMingle Veteran

    @techie said:

    @Mingle said:
    He was down and out but all he did was glue some hair to his head and all of a sudden he's Jack the lad again.

    How did he manage to do that? Just asking cuz in the future it may come in handy. Thanks.

    Its quite a new thing I think. I can't remember the name of it so I guess I'm not that much help. You basically have a hair piece glued to your head and you keep it on 24/7. You can wash it in the shower, style it and treat it like normal hair. The downside is that you have to get it replaced every couple of months for around £300. I told him for that price I'd rather save it all up and get a hair transplant.

  • Steve_BSteve_B Veteran

    Fortunately for us, the world presents us with only two kinds of problems. There are problems that we can't solve. There is no need to worry about these problems. We can't solve them anyway, so there is nothing to be gained by worrying about them. And there are problems that we can solve. There is no need to worry about these problems. We simply solve them instead of worrying about them.

    If your brother has problems with vanity, shallow relationships, aging and deteriorating appearance, unsustainable grooming habits causing expensive anxiety, there is no need for you to worry about these problems.

    Minglekarasti
  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran

    @Mingle said:> Life is unfair for sure....

    It sure is. I was adopted and have four brothers that I have never met. You were lucky! :p

    mmoMinglekarastiFosdick
  • DairyLamaDairyLama Veteran Veteran

    @Vastmind said:> Bald guys are sexy.

    My old boss use to say that his bald pate was a solar-panel for a sex-god. :p

    Captain_AmericaherbertoVastmind
  • ZeroZero Veteran

    @Mingle
    It is terrible that you choose to carry this immense burden.
    Of greatest concern is that no solution is proposed.
    I was especially troubled by the definition of a 'glimmer of hope' and the invitation to imagine how the scenario could make the blood boil.
    The issue was raised in a previous post when your brother started losing his hair however it doesn't sound like your position has altered over time.
    I would strongly recommend that you seek to examine and reconcile your challenges with your self-image as otherwise your current response is potentially destructive and counter-productive.
    Consider seeking professional advice and to maintain a consistent programme to enable a lasting insight into your responses and alternative strategies for achieving your aims and maintaining fulfilling relationships.
    At one extreme,there is feeling ill at ease with yourself and ill at ease with your brother's contentment.
    Ergo at the other, there is contentment with yourself and sharing in your brother's contentment.
    Practice, practice, practice.
    I wish you all the best of luck.

    lobster
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran

    My grandfather (and father) say "grass doesn't grow on a busy street" in reference to baldness.

  • silversilver In the beginning there was nothing, and then it exploded. USA, Left coast. Veteran

    @Mingle said: "Envy must be my middle name by now. Its been almost 6 years that I have been alone. In my youth too, it doesn't get any easier from here out. I can be happy, I am happy in fact most of the time but loneliness will always be the dark side that lurks out if sight never to be hit by the sun."

    Believe it or not, some have been alone even longer than you. At least I know they're out there - some handling it well, others not, etc.

    Both @Zero and @Glow had some awesome things to say about your attitude and situation. Others have said it close enough to what goes through my mind about it, and that is I wonder just how closely you've examined what all "it" is that he has that you envy. The Buddha said something like, with our thoughts we create our world, right?

    Walker
  • silversilver In the beginning there was nothing, and then it exploded. USA, Left coast. Veteran

    I ran across this saying that I thought might be apropos:

    "There's nothing like doing what you love to attract the people you need."
    ~Robin Crow

  • MingleMingle Veteran

    Thanks for the posts. Its amazing how blind envy makes us. Well not blind but it's like having a very narrow view of the world based on our dark ideologues.

    mmo
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