Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Examples: Monday, today, last week, Mar 26, 3/26/04
Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@newbuddhist.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take up to 48 hours. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.

Funny Stuff

1212223242527»

Comments

  • JeroenJeroen Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter Netherlands Veteran

    @lobster said:

    @federica said:
    Oh I remember Tommy Cooper; my husband met him. He could drink anyone under the table.
    And (not wanting to be a party pooper, but) I watched him literally die, on stage.

    I never found Tommy Cooper particularly funny or his appeal. Then I found out he was an alcoholic. Severe. Then it made sense.

    Comedians often tend to have a dark side.

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    Jeffreyperson
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    "U wull grant ut". Is what it should say.

  • personperson Don't believe everything you think the liminal space Veteran

    On the first day, God created the dog and said: "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."

    The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

    So God agreed with the dog.

    On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, Do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

    The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

    And God agreed with the monkey.

    On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves, and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years."

    The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"

    And God agreed again.

    On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years." But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

    "Okay," said God, "You asked for it."

    So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

    KotishkaFleaMarketShoshin1
  • Who said the Germans don't have a sense of humour ....

    Jeroenfederica
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    He is the exception that proves the rule. He is actually incredibly funny.

  • personperson Don't believe everything you think the liminal space Veteran

    Flula Borg, another funny German. Watch Out!

  • Get your mind out the gutter ;);)

    howJeroenpersonKotishka
  • JeroenJeroen Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter Netherlands Veteran

    President Jimmy Carter, former President Ford, Henry Kissinger, a priest and a hippy were in a plane together. There was a storm, and the pilot rushes into the passenger cabin. He says, “we’ve been hit by a lightning bolt and the plane is going down. The co-pilot and crew are dead. Here are four parachutes, sort out among yourselves who gets them.” With that he bails out. Jimmy Carter speaks first. “As President the fate of the free world is on my shoulders. I’m sure you’ll agree I should survive”, and he dons a parachute and jumps. Ford speaks next, “well I never did anyone any harm, and I have a golf date next week,” and he bails out with a parachute. Then Kissinger says, “I am the smartest man in the world, I should live”, and he jumps out. The priest then says to the hippy “I have had a fulfilled life and am not afraid to meet my maker, go ahead my son”, to which the hippy replies, “but Father, there are two parachutes left, because the smartest man in the world just jumped with my rucksack.”

    Shoshin1JeffreyKotishkamarcitko
  • JeroenJeroen Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter Netherlands Veteran

    “Some people need a fundalini awakening.”

  • I wonder if this is how non-Buddhists may see us? :p

    Shoshin1KotishkaJeroenlobster
  • JeroenJeroen Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter Netherlands Veteran

    Q. What is wrong, Nietzsche?
    A. Nothing.

  • JeroenJeroen Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter Netherlands Veteran

    Minds are like parachutes. They only function when open.

    Kotishka
  • federicaKotishkaJeffreyVastmind
  • federica
Sign In or Register to comment.