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To whackedly view things
thumbs07
New
This Buddhist (Arathi Bahn?) brought up a situation of a plane crash- and he whackedly viewed it positive - (1) well nearer heaven (2) don't have to worry about funeral costs and some other very different intepretations from the almost contagious fear view.
I wonder if its really possible to have such a laidback whacked approach. For example, bailiffs visiting- 'ok I at least got visitors'. Chucked out flat 'get to experience the night air!'. Is this really viable do you think?
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I think it's entirely appropriate and healthy (to a degree) to view disasters - both big and small - from the humorous angle. I've done it my whole life, and it works in an amazing fashion! I've gotten really good at it too.
(The key is - to a degree.)
Welcome to NB, @thumbs07.
I think that some of those scenarios push it a bit. I can see being happy to get any visitor if you're jailed but being positive that I'm going to be in a plane crash because funeral costs will be cheap is a little over the top. I also agree with @silver that it can be to a degree. I think being able to spin a bad situation into a positive one or positive experience can be very beneficial to your health and well being.
If i really try and sometimes I have to try really hard, there is always something positive that can come out of something negative.
'There is nothing either bad or good but that thinking makes it so', our friend Shakespeare once said. or as Kipling put it more recently,
'If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same'....
A situation is a situation. Trying to counterbalance it by putting a different slant on it is an appropriate measure for those less experienced, but once we come to 'See Things as They Truly Are', We learn to assign no label at all, bar the "It is what it is, because things are as they are."
(@thumbs07 has been a member since September 2015.... just not quite frequent enough so far, to go past the 'new' label...
Kind of you to be so welcoming though ....)
I thought this thread was on the man in the White House that has such a strange relationship with the truth. So I peeked.
I take my text, on the subject matter of this thread, from one of Woody Allen's best, CRIMES AND MISDEMEANORS. In it, Alan Alda's character —some public broadcasting producer type— keeps saying, "If it bends, it's funny; if it doesn't, it's Not." Referring to taking subjects from the past and laughing at them, Alda states that if it's too recent, better not joke around 'round most people. And that is exactly what a sense of humor consists in: not taking ourselves or our predicaments too seriously. Of course, that is often "very, Very" (to quote Trump) hard to do.
I guess for those souls not caught up in time, but in eternity, serenity not only makes more sense than its opposite but is the only truly viable option. But flippancy would hardly be symptomatic of those taking the longer view, it seems to me.
It depends.
It is about acceptance of the way things are and not being passive or apathetic.
“If you have fear of some pain or suffering, you should examine whether there is anything you can do about it. If you can, there is no need to worry about it; if you cannot do anything, then there is also no need to worry.” Dalai Lama
I think it's an overall good attitude to have. To look at things another way rather than to get sucked into and wallow in the fear and negativity. Though I'm a bit perplexed about his comment about cheaper funerals in a plane crash. Here at least, they would still hold the funeral, casket and all, if that is what their tradition does. So I'm not sure that a plane crash would impact the cost all that much except the preparation of the body. But I'm sure different cultures would handle it differently.
Sometimes it's easy to get sucked into our fears, and if you can instead flip them around then they aren't so scary. Aside from that, another perspective is good in almost any case. We tend to believe there is a correct emotion, or set of emotion, for particular experiences which just isn't true. When bad things happen, looking at the good parts, even if they are small, helps your attitude about the whole mess a lot, and makes it overall easier to deal with.
When I was a teenager, I was with a boyfriend and another friend at night and his snowmobile ran out of gas. We were miles from town and it was late, around 11pm. It could have been a panic-inducing moment. Instead, the friend walked out to find a ride to get gas and we laid in the snow looking at the stars singing songs together. It's one of my favorite memories. We made a choice to not be scared and panicked and instead look at the blessings that were offered. It works out quite nicely.
-"Prison, monastery, cloister, cave..."
-Midnight Express
Zen Buddhist Stories
Maybe (Taoist story)
There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. "Such bad luck," they said sympathetically.
"Maybe," the farmer replied. The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. "How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed.
"Maybe," replied the old man. The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. "Maybe," answered the farmer. The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. "Maybe," said the farmer.
http://www.katinkahesselink.net/tibet/zen.html
Gosh what a wise and pertinent tale - maybe
A great attitude is always a good thing.
Being able to see the positive in things that may not appear that way is a good skill.
Reminds me of this...
Thing is, once your in a situation you can do no more than make the best of it. Unless you can influence the outcome in some way you may as well accept it and get on with it. If you found out tomorrow you only had a week to live...
As a counterpoint, let's not forget to watch our suffering. Lots of people try to stay upbeat about their lives by taking positive viewpoints on things, and they sweep their suffering under the carpet. If we are honest about it most lives are a mixture of the two - happiness and suffering - but keeping the focus on one while being aware of the other is an interesting art. Of course suffering is often not about the disasters one encounters, often a poor relationship with a parent can be a greater source of pain than breaking an arm in a car crash.
Indeed, being averse to suffering is just as bad as being attached to pleasure. For me, it brings balance. I am a worrier and deal with anxiety in some situations, so for me it pulls me out of obsessing with the worst possible outcomes and keeps me focused on moving forward. Otherwise my worry can paralyze me into doing nothing but being stuck in a cycle of the negative parts of any situation. When I switch focus to the good parts, it brings balance rather than simply ignoring the negative/suffering aspects.
In Buddhism we are not necessarily supposed to avoid suffering but know that it is there, don't dwell on it and understand that its impermanence will make it cease. Isn't trying to see everything in a positive way to try and avoid suffering annihilation?
Just as @Kerome mentioned - it's a part of life, it's impermanent and the point is not to avoid it but learn how to live with it and not allow it to control your mind and therefore not suffer due to it.