How do you like to meditate? Why? Any advice for a newb?
LadyEmmaE
Shropshire, England New
Hello everyone! This is my first time posting my own thread on here so please be gentle with me. I am experiencing issues with my meditation practice, namely deep pain in the ankles and the inability to drift into "deep" meditation or even to stay meditating for longer than 10 minutes, sometimes less. Admittedly, I have only been practicing since late May of this year and my practice has not been consistent; though I have tried to meditate everyday, I have had breaks.
The way I sit for meditation is on a Buckwheat cushion, sat on top of a mat. The "position" I have been trying to do is the Burmese posture, however I find my poor ankles crying out in pain (one of which I am pretty sure still hasn't healed from a sprain I suffered about 15 years ago). My feet also love to fall asleep on me and cause great discomfort. For the past few days I have felt very frustrated during meditation due to the pain and the inability to get my monkey mind to concentrate on the breath. Today I tried the "seiza" position by turning the cushion on it's side and straddling it. Surprisingly, I felt little pain and even seemed to breath better! So I am investing in a seiza stool and seeing if that helps.
So I guess my question is, how do YOU like to sit? How long did it take for you to realize that was THE position for you? Also, any advice for a meditation newb?
Thank you!
Comments
Welcome @LadyEmmaE -- hope you find something useful here.
Here (https://zmm.org/teachings-and-training/meditation-instructions/) is a pretty good site for the basics ... and it has photos.
The fact that it comes from a Zen Buddhist source needn't concern you ... the basics are pretty much the basics for everyone.
Since there is pain in your life (I assume you are human), there is bound to be some pain in your practice. Same for you, same for me, but the attitude towards pain tends to evolve over time. Anyone who tells you that meditation is nothing but a big hug festival is either stupid or stupid. (No, that is not a typo)
Courage, patience and doubt are your great allies. Use them. Do what you can to set aside expectations -- don't hope for something to happen, just practice an SEE what happens. Counting breaths is a pretty good way to steady a racing mind: Count exhalations from one to ten and begin again. Assess practice and adjust it: Eg. If you promise yourself that you will practice tomorrow at 6 a.m., then do it: Make a promise, keep a promise. If it's too much, revise your promises.
Below is a little cheat sheet I wrote a bunch of years ago for a young woman who decided she wanted to nourish her "tolerance" and did a little sitting here in order to balance her Christian leanings. It's not carved in stone, but it may shape the scenery a bit. I never did find out if she could tolerate me.
All best wishes.
The truth of Buddhism does not come from a book. It does not come from a temple. It does not come from someone else. It is not written on a piece of paper. The truth of Buddhism comes from the individual effort to investigate, verify and actualize a clear understanding of this life.
Shakyamuni Buddha, the man most often referred to as the founder of Buddhism, was born on the border of India and Nepal in about 565 BC. He attained what is sometimes called enlightenment at 35 and preached until his death at 80. Many schools of Buddhism sprang from his teachings … in India, Tibet, China, Korea and Japan among others. Uncertain estimates put Buddhist numbers at about 350 million worldwide.
All Buddhist schools agree on at least two things:
The Four Noble Truths are:
*** 1. There is suffering (dukkha – the uncertainties, dissatisfactions and doubts that life can dish up); 2. There is a cause of suffering; 3. There is an end to suffering; 4. There is a way to end suffering.
The Eightfold Path is:
*** 1. Right View 2. Right Intention 3. Right Speech 4. Right Action 5. Right Livelihood 6. Right Effort 7. Right Mindfulness 8. Right Concentration.
The word "right" is sometimes translated as "complete." A “complete” effort is thorough-going and whole-hearted. Nothing is held back. Buddhism is not a threat-based persuasion: You won’t go to heaven (right) if you practice it and you won’t go to hell (wrong) if you don’t. But honesty is required -- complete honesty.
The Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path carry with them the verifiable observation that everything in life changes. There is nothing that does not change. Joy turns to sorrow, love turns to anger, birth turns to death, and the family car always gets a flat. All Buddhist schools agree on such things, but how they approach them may vary.
But as the Dalai Lama put it once, "Everyone wants to be happy." And that is probably as good a summary of Buddhism as any.
Daily. I tend to sit on the floor on a pillow/cushion.
It is the formal recognition of calm, equanimity, ease or monkey mind, turmoil, wrathful delusions etc.
https://cundi.weebly.com/meditation.html
I prefer the Burmese style. I made my own seiza bench last year and found that rather comfortable as well, though I still prefer Burmese. Hopefully the bench works well for you, many people use one. If that doesn't work you can also try sitting in a chair.
As for having deep meditations I don't know if I would worry much about that. I've been meditating with more or less regularity for over 20 years and I could probably count on one hand the number of deep meditations I've had. Usually I just sit there, go back to noticing my body or repeat a metta prayer whenever I notice myself getting lost in thought. Even without deep or blissful meditations the personal transformation I've experienced has been large and my daily base level of mental well being is generally pretty happy and calm. I've also heard of a Dharma teacher who has been practicing for over 30 years talk about having a similar sort of practice.
Of course some people do develop the ability to have regular deep meditations. I guess the lesson is to just do the practice and try not to put much weight onto how each session goes but rather how the practice changes your mind and your life over the months and years.
i sit on a chair ,in half lotus. i sit and be.i think for me is quality over quantity.one minute or two of meditation is fine for me . the goal of meditation for me to be in a natural state.then i ease into drinking coffee and smokes.
advice?listen or feel your body.if ache,readjust.or call it a day.the purpose of meditation is brain and body destress or cessation of personal unsatisfactoriness.
Exactly @person what is deep meditation? Trance states such as samadhi and zombie type mind clearing? Probably you mean less mind clutter type mindfullness attention? Well that comes with practice and a lot of it.
When I was practicing a lot an hour would go by with five minutes worth of distractions. So it would seem like a time compression ...
The burmese posture is fine but the egyptian pose (seated meditation) for some is comfortable. Some people can meditate reposing. I fall asleep. For those with weak ankles try walking meditation or learn standing meditation ...
https://stillmind.org/standing-meditation/
oh and don't forget guided meditations ...
"...when am I NOT meditating...?"
I guess I would consider deep some sort of jhana or absorption, those sort of magic style experiences where the heavens rain down and we become one with everything. Even considering the sort of strong mindfulness that you describe would fit by my experiences of deep.
I sit in Burmese generally. However, on long retreats I will sometimes switch between Burmese and seiza, just like you described.
Just follow the breath, or whatever other object is used, and just keep practicing and don't preoccupy yourself with going deep, etc. "Going deep" happens just by itself, you can't directly make it happen. That type of preoccupation is often one of the very things that prevents it from happening because it diverts your attention, just like anything else diverts your attention. "Deep" is a byproduct of non-diverted attention. You can't divert your attention and then expect the product of non-diverted attention to appear. That doesn't make any sense! Of course, you will most likely lose the attention of the breath and it may go to thoughts of "this isn't deep, etc, etc." or whatever other random thought. But, none of that really matters. All that matters is that you return your attention to the breath. And like my teacher says "Every time you return, you gain a little bit of wisdom". Meditation, at least initially, is much more about returning attention, rather than keeping attention. Some people become distressed over the fact that they can't keep attention. But that's a misplaced concern because that's not the point. The point is simply to return, and gain a little bit of wisdom.
same experience too.buddha's rule of thumb don't get attach to the experience .beyond jhana,there's practical living ...livelyhood,8fold component.etc
our wisdom is born of experience.one can use medition in the morning to direct the day such as what i need to do?one is employing,right intention,right mindfulness or recollection and right concentration.
Hmm if your ankles are hurting I would recommend learning some stretches and stretching for 10-15 minutes before sitting. There are two or three main stretches I do to help me sit in lotus longer-term. Lotus lunge is one. I think prepping your body for infrequent postures is the way to go.
@sova hatha yoga stretching is a form of meditation. I am combining/incorporating yoga into my meditation. It has been very helpful.
Hero pose for example.
Burmese style or quarter lotus...
When I stopped thinking about my posture...
There is no thinker behind the thought...just the thought itself...
What I found to be very helpful...Whatever crops up in meditation, example feeling uncomfortable, pain, annoyment, anger (with oneself or others) etc etc is meditation...in other words all that happens when sitting is in itself meditation...
"The most essential which includes all other methods is to behold the mind...The Mind is the root from which all things grow...If one can understand the Mind...Everything else is included"
~Bodhidharma~
In the long run the knack is to sit around and do nothing
However the mind often becomes charmed by its own thoughts...
>
This maybe unorthodox to many Buddhist but I learned at the temple I went to a couple forms of meditation. Some in relation to worship and others the traditional siting. There is also walking meditation if you want to try that.
The one I do nowadays is laying flat. In not distracted with the weight of my body and it helps me be humble.
A live local qualified teacher (in ANY tradtion) is always the best.
But not always available.
Lacking a teacher, the BEST source I have found is a book: "Mindfulness in Plain English" by Bhante Gunaratana. The first few chapters are a most-excellent introduction to what Buddhism is and is not.
The rest of the book is a resource for how to meditate, including how to work with the inevitable barriers that come up as you endeavour to master this discipline.
The book is very readable.
I was given my copy by a Sri Lankan monk, but I have seen that you can purchase a copy from amazon.com.
As for meditation practices, if you have no teacher, you will be doing Theravadan Buddhism and meditation .. Vipassana/Mindfulness. It is said that Thervadan is perfect for those without a teacher, and I have no experience to contradict this.
However, my own brother-in-law practiced Theravadan Buddhism on his own for 16 years and never grasped the impact of the Four Noble Truths .. but within 2 years of practicing with a Bhante, he started to understand more-deeply. So I guess even in Theravadan, it helps if you have access to a teacher. Who knows though .. he MIGHT have started to understand even if he had continued to practice on his own.
Zen will tell you that you get nowhere doing Zen without a teacher. I cannot affirm or deny this, since I have no contact with Zen practitioners nor Zen masters.
Vajrayana (Tibetan) will tell you that practicing Vajrayana without a teacher will "drive you crazy" (their wording, not mine .. but it is said that there is a real possibility of destabilizing your personality if you don't have the influence of your Lama guiding you in person. I have seen a few instances of solitary Western practitioners being delusional, but do not know if they were delusional before they took up Vajrayana on their own).
Note that all forms of Buddhism are equally effective .. the only variable is our own courage, discipline, and dedication. And whether or not a teacher is necessary and we have access to a teacher.
Half Lotus position. Meditation pulldown. I Start out with my hands placed up on my knees untill the tension is out of my leg muscles. Then I move my hands mindfully in my lap.
Why? Dunno it works for me.
I usually do concentration mediation. Focussing on the breath. When I feel very calm after a while I either go deeper towards pleasure sensation (jhana), or I go shift into mindfullness, being focussed enough to really see the arising and passing of all things (thoughts, sounds, feelings etc). Or I shift to metta mediation, sending love first to myself , then an outward circle.
Sometimes I do a guided meditation via an app.
I do mantra’s while driving ocasionally.
10-30 minutes a day, in one or two sessions.
Why these? Dunno. Trial and error. Some techniques stuck Some didnt. For example I started out with Zen long ago but the rigidness of the practise kinda bored me out.
I never been a one-thing kinda guy lol.
Interesting.
I have been doing similar. Though I start with an open yogic mudra, rather than hands down on knees. What you describe @ZendoLord84 is calm followed by focus. Excellent. Sounds effective.
I consider very subtle things, such as hand postures, capable of great interior unfoldment ... once we have a mature inner practice ...
https://blog.buddhagroove.com/buddhist-mudras-hand-gestures-of-the-buddha/
Agreed. When ‘deepdiving’ every cm of posture makes a great difference.
Ty for the article.
One with everything? I am lucky and grateful to be one of anything ...
Some individuals do have some euphoric, agitated and unsettled experiences. I was talking to a Theravadin monk who went into blissful mind states right from his earliest practice. Very nice, we all like bliss BUT it is a trap. Just as physical pain/agitation and other manifestations, distractions etc are not progress.
The subtle depths that @ZendoLord84 describes can be just dismissed shallows. In other words subtle arisings are not attached to, just as the early gross arisings settle eventually ...
Net
I
Mind
Not a net, not a fish ...
neti-neti
https://www.wisdomlib.org/definition/neti-neti
Pema Chodron wrote this on The Six Points of Posture:
Sitting meditation begins with good posture. Awareness of the six points of posture is a way to be really relaxed and settled in our body. Here are the instructions: (although I close my eyes)
Each time you sit down to meditate, check your posture by running through these six points. Anytime you feel distracted, bring your attention back to your body and these six points of posture.
-During the day I meditate in a chair- feet flat on the floor with my hands on my lap. At night I use a cushion- just through routine I think.
My girlfriend is home at night so I tend to use another room to practice.
I seen this quote by Bhante Gunaratana (author of fore mentioned 'Mindfulness in Plain English') the other day, on tricycle magazine website, and it has helped me with all my practice- I was always wondering what tradition? What method? What technique? The quote reminded me why I started meditating:
"When you admit to yourself, 'I must make this change to be more happy'- not because the Buddha said so, but because your heart recognised a deep truth- you must devote all your energy to making the change." *Bhante Gunaratana
I hope some of the above helps x
Outstanding advice @elcra1go
I go over the basics again and again.
I have been closing my eyes for a while now.
... the absolute physical stillness advocated in zen ...
https://brightwayzen.org/practice/zazen-zen-meditation/start-sitting-zazen/
I am also using two new postures, kneeling and downward dog in particular. I blame the yogis ... These are shorter physical awareness 'meditations'
I usually sit in Burmese, Half Lotus, or Quarter Lotus, on a Buckwheat Cushion. My knees are a bit messed up and those seem to be fairly easy on them.
I guess the best advice I can offer is "open the front and back door and just let your thoughts come and go. Do not serve them tea." I think that was from Suzuki. For a long time, I would try to clear my mind, and I would get frustrated because I was constantly having intrusive thoughts. When I accepted that this was just my brain being my brain, things got a lot easier. Occasionally, I slide into something deep. However, those moments don't drive my practice.
So... Just breathe. Smile a bit. You're doing just fine. _/_
Excellent advice.
I really like that comment. Just imagine if we are told to meditate or sit without effort. Smile the breath. Be OK with our sit ...