Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@newbuddhist.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take up to 48 hours. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
Help Needed - offered
lobster
Veteran
There we are in desperate straits, unable to cope. Or maybe that is just me in the hell realms …
Who you gonna call? Ghostbusters! Karma Chameleons Dharma practitioners!
Is that you?
- Able to dedicate practice merit
- Offering metta
- Practicing puja
- Sending in the Buddha Powers
- Etc.
Luckily for everyone I am always in need.
So please:
- For my mother who is enduring dementia and recovering from falls.
- For my sister enduring me social anxiety and depression.
- My other sister dealing with work related stress
… and of course others may ask?
10
Comments
You do good work caring for them, lobster. I will dedicate merit from my practice, such as it is.
I hope things are well in your family home?
And for our fellow practitioners, if you could spare a thought for my stepfather who has advanced Alzheimer’s. My mother and I care for him as well as we can, but it’s difficult at times. He has now reached the stage where he is incontinent (has to wear nappies so we can keep the house clean), can no longer shower by himself, get dressed by himself or even make himself a slice of toast. My mother does most of the caring, and I support her, but we are getting to a more tricky stage.
If you ever want to compare notes on how the caring goes @lobster we could do a video chat sometime?
My most heartfelt thoughts are with you both.
You know it's serious when @lobster reaches out.
Do you have outside professional help, lobster? is there a medical angle you can call upon to provide some kind of support? Start with your own Doctor's surgery...
We need far better support in this country for Mental Health; fortunately, it's slowly beginning to gather momentum; more and more people are raising their voices to be heard, and more and more means of assistance are surfacing.
@Jeroen, you too, should enquire and avail yourself of all possible support and help. I would hazard a guess that your mother is not 'young'. She too probably could do with professional support...
"It's the squeaky wheel that gets the oil"...
My heart goes out to you both.
You’re right Fede, my mother is now 74, but she is blessed with a lot of energy.
Here in the Netherlands we get a case manager who helps negotiate the care system. We get some help from a nurse who aids with showering my stepfather, something that’s difficult because he becomes obstreperous — refuses to get in the shower or come out once he is under it. We can also pay for some care, and the case manager comes and visits every month, and she says there is room for more care when we cannot manage anymore.
Eventually he may have to go to a care home, which will be very expensive, and difficult because there are not so many English speakers among the staff.
I will keep your family in my metta meditations/offerings, Lobster. May your mother, sisters and you be well and heal.
We have a paramedic, came around and I would not let him in until I was satisfied he was reasonably kosher (my sister panics). We had an incontinence assessment and got a commode.
Am in the process of getting more medical help. Not sure if cattle prods are legal … useful for jump starting dozy types … may test it on myself …
My sister is doing real well. She has to.
Never be afraid of asking for help as @federica mentions. My pharmacist gave good advice, both his parents died from/with dementia. 'You will increase in patience and be challenged'. So true.
There are also tons of nurses and caregivers on YouTube with “life hacks” when it comes to caregiving. I learned so many things, I never would have thought to do/ avoid when dealing with my psychotic daughter, and helping with my FIL with dementia.TikTok is also an excellent place to learn from others on these matters. Be open to learning new ways of doing things and changing the narratives on tasks.
First one I recommend is On YouTube is called Dementia Careblazers…I’ll try to compile a list and get back here .
It can feel very lonely sometimes, but remember, you are not alone. We’re there with a gentle nudge on your back saying “ c’mon, you got this”. ❤️. Resources are there…it’s just a matter of seeking and asking for help. Take care of you for me. Sending lots of love and support your way.
sqeeeeeeeeeeze hugs
Update:
My mother is happier. Sisters are mellowing. I feel better.
Those helping. Helped!
Yipeeeee!
@lobster: Good to hear.
I send my prayers forth for everyone, for your continued peace and grace, for your victories over challenges, for your courageous hearts, for your celebration of life.
Peace to all
Perfect @Lionduck
… talking of Bravehearts …
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/56972/speech-once-more-unto-the-breach-dear-friends-once-more
Congratulations everyone.
You have no problems and life is sukkha … or at least a Pureland?
No?
Then ask for help … EVERYWHERE!
Oh … did I shout? Tsk, tsk …
The benefits of benefitting others are too numerous to mention.
That is why this morning I have a Dr's appointment sorted … well consultant actually.
I have a care package started from our local authority.
That is all for my mother. All those NHS staff benefitting from my generous need for aid.
You guys can send more of the good vibes 💗
… and you need?