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I spent the day disciplining kids, doing school work and trying not to get frustrated with the new baby.
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federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
edited November 2007
Trust me, that's better than frustrating the schoolkids, disciplining the school work and doing the baby.....
One bit of good news:
My house in France, wot has been on the market for nearly 3 years, is finally SOLD - !!
Oh hallelujah, pass the mustard!
Now all I have to do is to arrange the time to go over there and empty it of all my belongings....
My current rented abode is quite small...it will be like forcing a gallon into a pint pot.
Or Michael Moore into Rudolph Nuryev's tights.....
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
edited November 2007
Oh Palzang, indeed a most excellent time!
I am a keen horticulturalist. I love gardening, I really do, and I own some palnts in pots that I have carefully nursed, nurtured and owned proudly for a very long time. One plant in particular is over 20 years old! I was obliged to leave them all in France with Nick's dad and his wife - and they're virtually all dead. Gone. Nick's dad said the summer last year had been particularly warm, and the preceeding winter exceptionally cold - but when I told him that many had survived worse for a very long time, he kind of tailed off. Basically, I left them with people who assured me they had every clue but in fact had none.
Was I upset?
Oh, you betcha.
Gutted.
Most distressed.
But if ever there is a lesson - from Nature herself - that all is impermanent and nothing lasts, then this, by the shovel-load, is it.
Am I still upset?
I guess, if I'm honest then, yes, of course I am.
Notwithstanding my complete understanding and acceptance of this unbreakable Truth, it's still a bit raw. But there you have it. Irreversible.
And part of my frustration is at myself.
I'm not angry or upset with them any more. They're both lovely, and have done so much for us, that any resentment is downright bloody ungrateful. So that's ok, there's no problem there.
The problem lies - as is often the case - with me.
Oh Palzang, indeed a most excellent time!
I am a keen horticulturalist. I love gardening, I really do, and I own some palnts in pots that I have carefully nursed, nurtured and owned proudly for a very long time. One plant in particular is over 20 years old! I was obliged to leave them all in France with Nick's dad and his wife - and they're virtually all dead. Gone. Nick's dad said the summer last year had been particularly warm, and the preceeding winter exceptionally cold - but when I told him that many had survived worse for a very long time, he kind of tailed off. Basically, I left them with people who assured me they had every clue but in fact had none.
Was I upset?
Oh, you betcha.
Gutted.
Most distressed.
But if ever there is a lesson - from Nature herself - that all is impermanent and nothing lasts, then this, by the shovel-load, is it.
Am I still upset?
I guess, if I'm honest then, yes, of course I am.
Notwithstanding my complete understanding and acceptance of this unbreakable Truth, it's still a bit raw. But there you have it. Irreversible.
And part of my frustration is at myself.
I'm not angry or upset with them any more. They're both lovely, and have done so much for us, that any resentment is downright bloody ungrateful. So that's ok, there's no problem there.
The problem lies - as is often the case - with me.
"One more step along the road I go....."
Fede,
The Taras would never have been born had Chenrezig not wept. Our mourning at loss is a part of the great compassion.
As one who says prayers for the dying and dead over goldfish and an apricot tree that we lost this year, I firmly believe that the pain of loss is an integral part of my connectedness to all that is and part of the price I pay for awareness of all this beauty.
Hmmm, "the problem lies - as is often the case - with me." Yeah, definitely, except I would change "often" to "always". It is such a simple lesson, but one that I (and everyone else) constantly forget, that if we could only get our own lives together, the world would become a true paradise. But I guess that's why they call it practice...
Well, we could fight about whose life was the most together!
Palzang
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federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
edited November 2007
Indeed, I was about to edit the 'often' to 'always' when my time on the PC was running out.... and I just got another message up telling me I have 4 minutes left...!
never mind - we'll soon be on broadband at home!
Thanks Palzang - and also Simon. Now I don't feel so bad about - feeling bad!
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federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
edited January 2008
I love this forum.
I go into other places, and se the utter verbal diarrhoea other people post in an effort to put their points across, and in the spirit of no-self and impermanence, do their utmost to be heard and resonate above all others...it all descends into a right ding-dong, sometimes. as a Buddhist, I find it sad. As a Buddhist observing other Buddhists, I find it unbelievable!
Ocasionally, in the past, I and others have brought the same topics of discussion into this forum, and I don't honestly think that I have ever once seen any discussion descend to similar tone-levels.
I know it's quiet at the moment. I know that sometimes the greatest wisdom of all is to know when to be silent, but I really just wanted to say that when I need my faith restored in Buddha Nature, I can think of no better place to be.
I think you may have inadvertently developed the ability to read minds because I was just thinking the same thing about ten minutes ago! Specifically when you wrote:
when I need my faith restored in Buddha Nature, I can think of no better place to be.
This is my warm, safe, and kind place and that's a rare thing to find in this world.
Long day on a long week. I had to trudge throuh snow and ice to get to work. Not bad otherwise.
Drag! I love the snow...in December. By February I'm just plain fed up. And we've had more snow this year than we've seen in many, many years. Not to mention it costs us a fortune to get our lane cleared so we can get out. Ugh!! SO looking forward to spring.
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federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
Federika, I have that video on my once a week reminder to watch!
It is truly inspiring.
My week? I found here with Brigids' help, how much better can things get?
Fede asked how things have been going for us......pretty well I guess. John is doing well. He goes back for another CT scan the end of the month. So we will know more then but his last doc. appointment they did not do a scan but did an oral check on him and could feel nothing so that's great. He is not putting weight on at all tho. He did get his feeding tube out and that made him really happy......but he hasn't gained at all. He eats and eats.....but no extra weight has come back. He still looks like a holocaust victum. But they did say that it would take a year or more for him to heal and we are just at the 6 month post cemo and radiation.
He will have to learn to deal with the side effects that are permanent from the cemo and radiation but other wise he is healing and seems to be doing well.
I'm doing fine...........I just take one day at a time and on days that are tough........I still cry but much less than before.
For the most part, things are going well...........We are doing OK!
Just wanted to let you know that part of the reason your husband isn't gaining weight is that chemo and radiation put the GI tract out of commission pretty much. One way to speed up their healing is by taking colostrum. It heals the gut as it contains various growth factors. I'd suggest he take it. Find a good quality colostrum powder or capsule and take it regularly. I think it'll help with the weight situation.
Thank you so much for the update. I'm so happy John's doing well and that you're both meeting all these challenges head on. Crying is good. It gets all the poisons out and makes you feel better. My heart is with you as always and I'm sending all my love and wishes, especially for some good weight gain for John.
Feeling abit sidelined and out of the game with this broken ankle. The swelling hasn't gone down any in the last week, and I'm about ready to start looking for a doctor who does leech therapy. LOL
Very sorry to hear about your ankle, Iawa, and, in particular, your ennui. Sounds like a good time to read something funny. May I suggest Flann O'Brien's The Third Policeman , which I have just found and is winderful - and short. If you like Irish humour it is for you.
I was driving around in Port Arthur just wasting time the other day, when I came across the Buu Mon Buddhist Temple. I stoppped by and got a tour of the gardens and the temple. Very nice folks.
Mine was interesting. I went to a job interview and the person left me standing outside their office for 30 minutes and did not acknowledge me, so I left a message and went home. But my partner's sister and nephew showed up. We had lots of fun. So all in all, a good day.
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federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
edited August 2008
I had an odd one yesterday.... first of all, having just moved house this week, I step out of my drive to go to work, and blow me over, this car stops and the driver waves frantically at me....it's only one of my ex-colleagues from the place I worked in last year! he lives a few doors down, and I NEVER KNEW IT!
Then, later in the day, this lady walks into the shop - and blow me over, again - it's a long-lost English friend I met in France 5 years ago, and with whom I'd lost touch! It was a bit fazeing, because she stayed virtually thge whole afternoon, and we had a right old chinwag in between my serving customers.....
Love those kind of days...and 'chinwag'...a wonderful new word for me...and fits soooo well. LOL!
Today...I feel good. (Channelling James Brown?) Attended a 2 day workshop on a form of kung fu this past weekend. Was kinda interesting, and a lot of work. But the best part was the impromptu, and completely unexpected, chiropractic back adjustment I recieved by the sifu. Guy just walks up behind me, grabs me from behind and yanks me up and back. Patting my shoulder he says, 'Now you breathe better'...and walks off.
I know that Buddhists are supposed to be mindful of suffering....but dang...it feels good to be relieved of the pain once in awhile!
Today has been a bit of a downer. Talked with the spouse of divorce matters.
This to shall pass,but with threee kids involved it is bitter pill indeed.
Bright side my birthaday's tomorrow. 45
Well, at least I hope you have a happy birthday...
Palzang
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federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
edited August 2008
Yes, I do too.
Trust me, Divorce is not the end of the world.
But cultivate a healthy attitude towards one another, and above all, keep in touch with the kids and cultivate that love, too.
I wish you well, I truly do.
I scored 98% on an exam today on psychopharmacology and counseling techniques that I’ve been studying for two weeks. What a weight off of my shoulders!
Have taken the day off to be by myself. I was supposed to be at my disability class but couldn't face being around people. I have a ton of housework and I'll have to catch up on class work. AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!
Today has been great! The sun is shining and it’s so warm outside! I actually took my bicycle out for a ride to the mall and back (about 8 miles). It was wonderful just to get out and grab some ozone.
I’m getting ready to move this summer, and it’s coming up much faster than I would like. I’m so nervous that it’s hard to focus on things at the moment. I’ve done this several times before and I always end up feeling the same. I feel as though I leave a little piece of myself behind everywhere I go, and Texas is no different.
Sorry for the mini-rant. I just wish that sometimes my dog had thumbs so she could help me pack. :-)
Anyone here know how when you first join a new site or message board, at first it's like joining a new company. It feels like this huge office that's just a massive maze full of places you've never been-yeah, I'm still at that stage with this site. I pop in daily and read a thread or two. I like listening alot, so I just absorb the conversations over coffee before work. I'm not sure what or where I had been reading, but BAM...I go down this hall, and there's all these threads I didn't even know existed. Soooooo cooool.
My day was truly fantastic. Steller, even. Took me 33years to learn how to make every day that way, but here we are. I truly hope everyone had some laughs today.
Now where was the bathroom in this place...... *wanders off down another hall*
Comments
One bit of good news:
My house in France, wot has been on the market for nearly 3 years, is finally SOLD - !!
Oh hallelujah, pass the mustard!
Now all I have to do is to arrange the time to go over there and empty it of all my belongings....
My current rented abode is quite small...it will be like forcing a gallon into a pint pot.
Or Michael Moore into Rudolph Nuryev's tights.....
D'ya have the image now....!?
Palzang
I am a keen horticulturalist. I love gardening, I really do, and I own some palnts in pots that I have carefully nursed, nurtured and owned proudly for a very long time. One plant in particular is over 20 years old! I was obliged to leave them all in France with Nick's dad and his wife - and they're virtually all dead. Gone. Nick's dad said the summer last year had been particularly warm, and the preceeding winter exceptionally cold - but when I told him that many had survived worse for a very long time, he kind of tailed off. Basically, I left them with people who assured me they had every clue but in fact had none.
Was I upset?
Oh, you betcha.
Gutted.
Most distressed.
But if ever there is a lesson - from Nature herself - that all is impermanent and nothing lasts, then this, by the shovel-load, is it.
Am I still upset?
I guess, if I'm honest then, yes, of course I am.
Notwithstanding my complete understanding and acceptance of this unbreakable Truth, it's still a bit raw. But there you have it. Irreversible.
And part of my frustration is at myself.
I'm not angry or upset with them any more. They're both lovely, and have done so much for us, that any resentment is downright bloody ungrateful. So that's ok, there's no problem there.
The problem lies - as is often the case - with me.
"One more step along the road I go....."
Fede,
The Taras would never have been born had Chenrezig not wept. Our mourning at loss is a part of the great compassion.
As one who says prayers for the dying and dead over goldfish and an apricot tree that we lost this year, I firmly believe that the pain of loss is an integral part of my connectedness to all that is and part of the price I pay for awareness of all this beauty.
Palzang
Palzang
never mind - we'll soon be on broadband at home!
Thanks Palzang - and also Simon. Now I don't feel so bad about - feeling bad!
I go into other places, and se the utter verbal diarrhoea other people post in an effort to put their points across, and in the spirit of no-self and impermanence, do their utmost to be heard and resonate above all others...it all descends into a right ding-dong, sometimes. as a Buddhist, I find it sad. As a Buddhist observing other Buddhists, I find it unbelievable!
Ocasionally, in the past, I and others have brought the same topics of discussion into this forum, and I don't honestly think that I have ever once seen any discussion descend to similar tone-levels.
I know it's quiet at the moment. I know that sometimes the greatest wisdom of all is to know when to be silent, but I really just wanted to say that when I need my faith restored in Buddha Nature, I can think of no better place to be.
I think you may have inadvertently developed the ability to read minds because I was just thinking the same thing about ten minutes ago! Specifically when you wrote: This is my warm, safe, and kind place and that's a rare thing to find in this world.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4B-r8KJhlE
http://www.teamhoyt.com/races.shtml
If anyone ever catches me complaining about the trivia - and it's all trivia - slap me upside, and tell me "Can"....
Please.
Wow.
It is truly inspiring.
My week? I found here with Brigids' help, how much better can things get?
(and thanks again)
Palzang
He will have to learn to deal with the side effects that are permanent from the cemo and radiation but other wise he is healing and seems to be doing well.
I'm doing fine...........I just take one day at a time and on days that are tough........I still cry but much less than before.
For the most part, things are going well...........We are doing OK!
Thanks for asking,
Namaste'
Just wanted to let you know that part of the reason your husband isn't gaining weight is that chemo and radiation put the GI tract out of commission pretty much. One way to speed up their healing is by taking colostrum. It heals the gut as it contains various growth factors. I'd suggest he take it. Find a good quality colostrum powder or capsule and take it regularly. I think it'll help with the weight situation.
Palzang
Thank you so much for the update. I'm so happy John's doing well and that you're both meeting all these challenges head on. Crying is good. It gets all the poisons out and makes you feel better. My heart is with you as always and I'm sending all my love and wishes, especially for some good weight gain for John.
All my love,
Boo
Thanks Boo...
Just kind of bored and lonely. I suppose.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=adYbFQFXG0U
www.kassapa.org
Then, later in the day, this lady walks into the shop - and blow me over, again - it's a long-lost English friend I met in France 5 years ago, and with whom I'd lost touch! It was a bit fazeing, because she stayed virtually thge whole afternoon, and we had a right old chinwag in between my serving customers.....
weird day.....!
Today...I feel good. (Channelling James Brown?) Attended a 2 day workshop on a form of kung fu this past weekend. Was kinda interesting, and a lot of work. But the best part was the impromptu, and completely unexpected, chiropractic back adjustment I recieved by the sifu. Guy just walks up behind me, grabs me from behind and yanks me up and back. Patting my shoulder he says, 'Now you breathe better'...and walks off.
I know that Buddhists are supposed to be mindful of suffering....but dang...it feels good to be relieved of the pain once in awhile!
This to shall pass,but with threee kids involved it is bitter pill indeed.
Bright side my birthaday's tomorrow. 45
Palzang
Trust me, Divorce is not the end of the world.
But cultivate a healthy attitude towards one another, and above all, keep in touch with the kids and cultivate that love, too.
I wish you well, I truly do.
-bf
You're one ahead of me... who needs meds....?
Take care sweet...... (((hugs)))
~nomad
Hey guys - Guess who came in to visit me today??
This guy (post #10) - who has apparently now been given the all-clear!!
Thank you all for your extraordinarily selfless help! It's done no end of good!!
~nomad
Sorry for the mini-rant. I just wish that sometimes my dog had thumbs so she could help me pack. :-)
~nomad
My day was truly fantastic. Steller, even. Took me 33years to learn how to make every day that way, but here we are. I truly hope everyone had some laughs today.
Now where was the bathroom in this place...... *wanders off down another hall*