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@Jeffrey said:
I think by intense what I mean is a a feeling of psychosis thinking people are talking or thinking about my mind.. That's an intense experience.

I think I experienced something like that when I first began seriously practicing meditation. The conclusion I came to was that what others are doing is part of the same template in which I do things too so there are often similarities and patterns that bring up memories or associations to my own life. At first this kind of feels like people are talking about you but upon further examination it's more likely just picking up patterns in what other people are doing and finding associations to your own behaviors. When looking closely enough, almost anything can reveal some pattern or association that triggers an introspective reflection, it's just about how much someone usually pays attention to that stuff which is usually not very much. Sometimes it can be helpful for spiritual growth and reflection, sometimes it can turn into nasty paranoia. A lot of it is on how it's associated in the mind and whether it's done with mindfulness or not.

Is this what's meant by Buddha nature? Perfecting virtuous living and seeing your reflection in others and using it to continue to perfect your virtue? Then by reflection of your own perfect virtue, you see the blemishes in others virtues and can attempt to guide them to see it too?

At times I can be a little hypersensitive to "feelings in the air". Sometimes like a "gut feeling" and sometimes from noticing a series of similarly themed things in the surroundings. This is where my story of the polar bear comes from. Sort of like a blank puzzle of a past which discovers answers and pieces to itself as the present unfolds. A sort of "No one asked a question but here's part of the answer" which then begs the question and fuels further inquiry into the other parts of the answer.

It's a little Chicken-or-the-egg to me but still follows me around for some unresolved reason or another. On some occasions an experience in my life will reveal a little more of the answer to that question which was never really asked to begin with. But discovering each additional piece has always felt like it just fits.

The struggle is in whether I'm convinced it's actually some past life experience or just the mind building a story out of likes and dislikes. At one point it held some significance but these days it's more a fun memory that surfaces from time to time.

@how I think by intense what I mean is a a feeling of psychosis thinking people are talking or thinking about my mind.. That's an intense experience. Probably an unusual brain chemistry at that time. And during such intense times I usually drop off my usual daily meditation.

A second referent for the word intense is that I wonder if increasing my meditation to do at home retreats could have helped cause my relapse? In this the length and frequency increase to several sessions a little longer than an hour. I wonder if such increase in length helped to cause symptoms for me? And the feeling of intensity could also come not from length but from the meaning to me and the others doing the retreat to keep to the spirit of the retreat as it was described to start out the week.

Then again maybe (jokingly!) the relapse happened because I was always going downstairs and my dog missed my constant attention of me He could be the one tuning with my mind and causing a relapse of symptoms! So Dad will come back and give him attention.

I am back to daily meditation but usually just doing morning walking meditation each day and here and there I do a 15 minute seated mediation.