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Celibacy
Abstaining from all kinds of sex - physical and mental. Where to begin? What are the hurdles? How to overcome them?
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Comments
WHY??
Considering sex is hardwired into our brains, it's a difficult thing for many people to consider (taking vows of celibacy), especially if you are planning to live in the everyday world and not in a monastery. I would think it would also be harder if you've already had positive sexual experiences and are thinking of giving them up, but I'm just trying to think of it from my point of view.
If you scroll down a ways in this "Diets & Habits" section you will see another thread labeled "Celibacy" from back in November 2012. You'll find 2 pages of discussion there you might find interesting. Why not read through that and then clarify any questions you might have at that point (if any) regarding your OP.
I've seen this through my own practice, even though by all accounts I am a very attractive, available male who has plenty of female attention, I've already begun the process of renunciation(and I don't mean becoming a monk, not in this sense anyways) and I feel no desire to need or want a girlfriend or anything of the sort. When I do have female contact its like ah " eh, I suppose since I can, I might as well" and that really does nothing for me. That is not to say that ALL(or even most) desire is gone, the roots are still there, but the more I practice the more I see the futility of chasing after these desires.
I think this will make it easier for me when/if I am able to follow through with my plan and become a monk. Becoming a monk doesn't mean your sex drive dies automatically lol, there are many monks who disrobe for women, etc... it's all about the renunciation in your own mind.
Are you agreeing with @Chela, or with @Jayantha? My first impression was Chela, but I don't want to jump to that conclusion.
As we are on the Middle Way you might restrict your amorous activities to 12:00 and use anaphrodisiacs such as 'monks pepper'.
What an AWESOME page to color!! Thanks Lobster!
He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.
The head monk, says, “We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.”
He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn’t been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.
So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing, “We missed the ‘R’! We missed the ‘R’!”
His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably.
The young monk asks the old abbot, “What’s wrong, father?”
With A choking voice, the old abbot replies, “The word was… CELEBRATE !!!”
I think it would fall under right thoughts if one is always horny how can they be content?
Or perhaps a pedophile may think that a vow of celibacy will overcome his urges, then finds himself in a position where vulnerable children are available and the temptation is uncontrolable.
I don't think celibacy is a cause for pedophilia. But I'm no expert on it.
Second, I don't think that priests have that much contact with children all the time. It's more that they are (or were) trusted figures.
I do think that you are correct that at least some Catholic pedophile priests probably thought they would be able to better control their urges if they were priests.
For sure I have been on here long enough to have heard my share of criminal acts by Buddhist monks.
I could have used Boy Scout leaders as an example, having had experience with that problem.
(Edit) except of course that Boy Scout leaders don't swear a vow of celibacy.
Regarding the mental side of sex, adultery etc, look up emotional infidelity.
In Judaism it is considered a sin not to have sex. Bravo.
You only need to give it up when having a full brazilian that includes the head and turns you into a nun . . . just be a dakini, life is more fun . . . :clap:
This guy has some good ones too.
I think it would be awhile before I donned the robes and took a razor to my hair, so no worries there, hahah. Dakini, though...hey, tantra!
I think that if celibacy is a natural side-effect of your path, then that is also something to not get worked up over.
The middle path, friend.
For Buddhists, the third precept just tells us to abstain from Sexual Misconduct.
Eg: That's things like rape, or having sex which will harm ourselves or others, etc. So sex outside marriage is fine, as long as it's not harmful to anyone.
I ..... I just don't even know where to begin with this..... what a sad way to view life - and fellow humans - as something 'repulsive'.
And personally, I find contemplating the repulsiveness of the body quite a sexy meditation. That really works for me if you know what I mean, nudge, nudge, wink, wink!
:::: shows @Vinlyn her cute, plump feet ::::
And - whether you know it or acknowledge it or not - those archaic instructions to view the human body as 'foul,' dirty, repulsive, shameful or sinful in order to resist normal desires, is all based in caveman level religiously based misogyny. Because it's always aimed at the OTHER person (99% of the time an evil female temptress) being repulsive and foul....
The Buddha taught that his teaching went "against" the stream. If you want to follow that stream and call it normal, healthy, etc., then go for it. If you want to follow the Buddha's path to Awakening, then I suggest a mindful analysis of the body into its constituent parts to show that there is no need to lust after one's own body or that of another.
Interestingly, that's what a lot of sexual predators and serial killers do.
Buddha also said to avoid onion and garlic (among other vegetables) because they were aphrodisiacs and excite the senses. We now know that both of them have good health benefits.