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Vow of Silence
Cory
Tennessee Veteran
I say a lot of things that I don't mean, because I tend to not think before I speak. I was just thinking take a few weeks or a month in silence just to get my mind back in order. I feel like it would be a good experience if I can pull it off, because I am a chatter box, and any opportunity to slow down and observe life a little bit more, is good to me. Any thoughts, suggestions, tips, ideas?
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I can go a long time each day not saying a single word aloud. But I'm usually busy communicating with my fingers at the same time.
If you read the whole thing, she talks about her motives, how she managed things and the outcome.
@karasti-
*sigh* I miss Rebecca. and her blog about her 3 days of silence has been deleted.
I would need my husband to run interference for me, because if my mom or one of my brothers called my house and then my cell and I didn't answer.... OMB, they'd think I'd been kidnapped or was laying in a pool of blood on the kitchen floor!
I would Have To tell them ahead of time to keep them from panicking! LOL
I would say refrain from talking if the talk will be unimportant is part of the deal, yes. I had to learn to talk LESS, not none at all.
When I became a school administrator, I learned pretty quickly that it was not always necessary for me to talk, but it was always necessary for me to listen.
Might I suggest an alternative? consciously think out each word before you say it. Put together the sentence in your head first. It may make you seem a tidbit "slow" to others. But it'l eliminate your problem of saying things you don't mean.
1. Does it need to be said?
2. Does it need to be said now?
3. Does it need to be said by me?
Most of the time, what we say doesn't need to be said. And once you get in the habit of that, you find that when you do speak, people listen to you much better. When you are a chatterbox, people tune you out because they have a hard time deciphering what is important to listen to, and what is not.
@MaryAnne I miss her too
It's amazing to realize what you learn when you stop thinking about how you are going to respond to what people say (how can I squeeze my way into this conversation? What will sound witty or funny, etc?) and actually start listening to what people are saying. I really recommend it.
The only tip I can give you is go into it knowing that you are going to accidentally talk a couple of times. Just don't suddenly give up when you do. If you are trying to be a perfectionist about it, you'll get discouraged. Just say "oops!" and go back to being silent.
Also, write "religious reasons" on a piece of paper and you can pretty much get away with anything.
Learn NLP, which makes great use of the conscious expression of language. it might be better to only speak kindly and gently rather than being unkind to your tongue which will rebel against the sanction.
Calm from meditation would help. I find that the mind still moves even if the tongue is being bitten . . . :orange:
Speaking if it manifests compassion, love or wisdom.
Being mute if greed, hate or delusion will be the result.
The monks have all taken a vow of silence, and they all have a rather somber demeanor. There's a scene where Gene Wilder and the monks are sitting at a long table eating. Gene Wilder repeatedly talks, leading to awkward moments with the monks. Then he asks one of the monks to pass the salt. Gene Wilder says, "Thank you," and the monk blurts out "You're welcome." They all look at each other with this "Oh-sh!t-what-do-we-do-now?" look of alarm. --Then they all burst out laughing.
I wish I could find the clip. Its an unforgettable scene.