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After Donald Trump's repeated demands, and in spite of insisting that it is unheard of , the Royal Family relents and provides him with a King's regalia for all photographs that he poses for with King Charles.
A Dung Beetle walks into a bar and asks "Is this stool taken ? "
1
JeroenNot all those who wander are lostNetherlandsVeteran
Two tramps sat with their backs against a tree. ”You know, Jim,” the first tramp mused, ”this business of tramping your way through life is not what it is cracked up to be – wandering, unwanted everywhere, sneered at by your fellow man.”
”Well,” observed the second tramp, ”if that’s the way you feel about it, why don’t you go and find yourself a job?”
”What?” exclaimed his friend, ”and admit that I’m a failure?”
0
JeroenNot all those who wander are lostNetherlandsVeteran
A layman and a vicar were playing golf, and the layman was not having a good game.
”Ah, damn, I missed!” said the layman at the first green. And then missing an easy putt, he said,
”Ah, damn, I missed again!”
The layman kept on playing a bad shot, and kept saying, ”Ah, damn, I missed!”
The vicar put up with this for half the round, but then he felt he owed it to the dignity of his calling to say something to the layman. ”You really must not keep using such dreadful language, my dear Sir,” said the vicar, ”or the Lord may well strike you down.”
And just as the words were out of his mouth, there came a jagged flash of lightning; and in a split second the vicar was burned to a crisp. Above the rolling thunder clouds, a deep voice was heard to say, ”Ah, damn, I missed!”
Dear UD,
In our discussions, it has come to our attention that someone (you) thinks he is a duck.
Sir, you do not look like a duck.
You, by our standards, are ugly
Your neck is too long,
Your feet too big, and you do not quack,
You have more of a trumpet like sound.
Now, sir, you are definitely not a DUCK.
There is another group of fowl over yonder.
Perhaps you should meander over there as they just might be more aligned with your style.
GO!
@Shoshin1
YHE UNTOLD STORY
The snake got framed.
Adam, being reckless, forgot the warnings and ate the fruit of knowledge 9hereafted called the apple) first.
He then talked Eve into taking a bite.
The snake saw what happened and hurries to tell the boss.
But, before he could report what he saw, the Boss had already seen Adam and Eve acting strange and discovered the half eaten apple.
Realizing they were in trouble, Eve blushed and was speechless. Adam immediately blamed the snake, claiming that the hapless snake had talked Eve into biting the apple
first and that Eve had convinced Adam to bite into the apple.
The Boss was already having a bad day and, as his business operated under "Right to Work" provisions, just threw all three out.
On the way out, Adam accidentally fell against a boulder which then rolled an caught the unicorns by surprise taking them out.
2
personDon't believe everything you thinkThe liminal spaceVeteran
@Jeffrey said:
haha can I share this? really made me tickled at first but then spaced out
Please do. The term enshittification is such a great concept, easy to understand and fun to say.
"Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: “I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.”
3
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
Job interviewer: I notice a 4-year gap in your résumé...
Candidate: Oh...yeah. That's when I went to Yale...
J.I.: Oh man, that's amazing! You're definitely hired!
C.: Brilliant! I really need this yob!
1
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
Have you ever played "silent Tennis?"
...what's 'silent tennis'?
Oh, it's the same as ordinary tennis, but without the raquet....
(Geddit? Raquet? Racket...? Oh, never mind...I'll get my coat... 😁)
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
A lady walks into a Chemist's and asks to speak to the Pharmacist.
He comes to see her.
She whispers, side-mouth, "I need to kill my husband, whaddya got?!"
The pharmacist recoils...
"Madam, I couldn't POSSIBLY...!"
She reaches into her handbag, and pulls out a photo of her husband - in heavily naked flagrante delicto - with the Pharmacist's wife.
"Ooooh", he says, "You never mentioned you had a prescription!"
0
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
A local-newspaper reporter visited the city lunatic asylum to write an article on the establishment. At one point he asked the director,
"How do you assess whether a person is normal, or not?"
"Well," replied the Director,"we fill a bathtub with water, the get the person to choose: a spoon, a cup or a bucket."
"Oooh, right! Of course," declared the reporter, "a normal person would pick the bucket, as it's bigger than the other two!"
"No" replied the Director, gently, "a normal person would pull out the plug. Would you like a bed near the window?"
Comments
After Donald Trump's repeated demands, and in spite of insisting that it is unheard of , the Royal Family relents and provides him with a King's regalia for all photographs that he poses for with King Charles.
....And to the best of my knowledge, the above photo has not be doctored in any way
Talking of @frederica how is he... sorry elle?
Corny, but funny 😁
A Dung Beetle walks into a bar and asks "Is this stool taken ? "
Two tramps sat with their backs against a tree. ”You know, Jim,” the first tramp mused, ”this business of tramping your way through life is not what it is cracked up to be – wandering, unwanted everywhere, sneered at by your fellow man.”
”Well,” observed the second tramp, ”if that’s the way you feel about it, why don’t you go and find yourself a job?”
”What?” exclaimed his friend, ”and admit that I’m a failure?”
A layman and a vicar were playing golf, and the layman was not having a good game.
”Ah, damn, I missed!” said the layman at the first green. And then missing an easy putt, he said,
”Ah, damn, I missed again!”
The layman kept on playing a bad shot, and kept saying, ”Ah, damn, I missed!”
The vicar put up with this for half the round, but then he felt he owed it to the dignity of his calling to say something to the layman. ”You really must not keep using such dreadful language, my dear Sir,” said the vicar, ”or the Lord may well strike you down.”
And just as the words were out of his mouth, there came a jagged flash of lightning; and in a split second the vicar was burned to a crisp. Above the rolling thunder clouds, a deep voice was heard to say, ”Ah, damn, I missed!”
Letter from the Ducks to one not a Duck:
Dear UD,
In our discussions, it has come to our attention that someone (you) thinks he is a duck.
Sir, you do not look like a duck.
You, by our standards, are ugly
Your neck is too long,
Your feet too big, and you do not quack,
You have more of a trumpet like sound.
Now, sir, you are definitely not a DUCK.
There is another group of fowl over yonder.
Perhaps you should meander over there as they just might be more aligned with your style.
GO!
Sincerely yours,
The Duck Flock.
When your guided meditation is too specific:
https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1Xgc49FGBx/
I really appreciate it when a tradesman really perfects his craft and brings to a larger market...
haha can I share this? really made me tickled at first but then spaced out
@Shoshin1
YHE UNTOLD STORY
The snake got framed.
Adam, being reckless, forgot the warnings and ate the fruit of knowledge 9hereafted called the apple) first.
He then talked Eve into taking a bite.
The snake saw what happened and hurries to tell the boss.
But, before he could report what he saw, the Boss had already seen Adam and Eve acting strange and discovered the half eaten apple.
Realizing they were in trouble, Eve blushed and was speechless. Adam immediately blamed the snake, claiming that the hapless snake had talked Eve into biting the apple
first and that Eve had convinced Adam to bite into the apple.
The Boss was already having a bad day and, as his business operated under "Right to Work" provisions, just threw all three out.
On the way out, Adam accidentally fell against a boulder which then rolled an caught the unicorns by surprise taking them out.
Please do. The term enshittification is such a great concept, easy to understand and fun to say.
Thus have I heard:
...Shit Enshittification happens
"Three guys stranded on a desert island find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says: “I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here.”
Job interviewer: I notice a 4-year gap in your résumé...
Candidate: Oh...yeah. That's when I went to Yale...
J.I.: Oh man, that's amazing! You're definitely hired!
C.: Brilliant! I really need this yob!
Have you ever played "silent Tennis?"
...what's 'silent tennis'?
Oh, it's the same as ordinary tennis, but without the raquet....
(Geddit? Raquet? Racket...? Oh, never mind...I'll get my coat... 😁)
The had to suspend the Table Tennis tournament when Ping got Ponged
Signs of humour...
https://streetartutopia.com/2026/03/07/funny-signs-10-photos/
A lady walks into a Chemist's and asks to speak to the Pharmacist.
He comes to see her.
She whispers, side-mouth, "I need to kill my husband, whaddya got?!"
The pharmacist recoils...
"Madam, I couldn't POSSIBLY...!"
She reaches into her handbag, and pulls out a photo of her husband - in heavily naked flagrante delicto - with the Pharmacist's wife.
"Ooooh", he says, "You never mentioned you had a prescription!"
A local-newspaper reporter visited the city lunatic asylum to write an article on the establishment. At one point he asked the director,
"How do you assess whether a person is normal, or not?"
"Well," replied the Director,"we fill a bathtub with water, the get the person to choose: a spoon, a cup or a bucket."
"Oooh, right! Of course," declared the reporter, "a normal person would pick the bucket, as it's bigger than the other two!"
"No" replied the Director, gently, "a normal person would pull out the plug. Would you like a bed near the window?"