I find myself in somewhat of a pickle and thought that what might help would be to journal here about the actions I am taking to improve my state of mind and general well-being. This might improve accountability, increase resolve, and with your support/cheering might bring about a quicker recovery/improvement. It might also inspire someone else facing troubles to take action.
The pickle is quite strong anxiety and, sometimes, medium-strong depression. I think it was triggered by a mild physical illness (still slightly ongoing) and the new job I have been working at for the past month that I find takes up more energy than I have in reserve.
Anxiety and depression have been something I have been battling/enduring for many years. (I take medication) I know that some things help, and other things un-help I feel it "energetically"/in my bones, yet often find myself incapable/unwilling of doing the right thing. So let me do the things that help, and avoid doing the things that un-help I have "elevated"/healed myself in this way before, so I know it works. @lobster Iz plan!
The good that I am doing and wish to continue: I drink a large fruit smoothie most mornings and (mostly) do not drink alcohol. I wish to drink the smoothie every morning and not drink alcohol at all.
The good that I have done before and wish to restart: running (or any other sport/physical activity), cold-showers, a regular loving-kindness meditation, avoiding reading the news, and keeping my flat tidy by tidying it up every evening (that way it wakes only a few minutes).
The bad that I am doing and feel capable of stopping immediately: watching porn and drinking coffee in the afternoon (I react very negatively to coffee in the afternoon).
The bad that I am doing but do not feel capable of stopping at the moment: smoking and playing poker (it's a supplement to my job income necessary to cover living expenses at the moment).
Today I have:
- Watched a Ukraine-related dharma talk from Plum Village. I found it soothing, inspiring and illuminating as to how I want to approach the negative events currently going on.
Today I will:
I dedicate my efforts to all beings (of which I am one), since I know that improving my situation and state of mind automatically benefits everyone as well.