Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

Examples: Monday, today, last week, Mar 26, 3/26/04
Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.

Falling out with family , Being accused of "preaching" and coming across "condescending"

As far as i can remember ive always been into 'inspirational' writers and books , and eventually came to meet buddhism and other philosophies etc etc!!!

But some people in my family dont like if i even mention 'inspirational things' and especially people like buddha, because they say things like "not everyone 'needs' buddhism and its for people who must need something in their lifes and we dont, we're happy without all 'this self help crap' and its all boring so shut UP!!!

They dont like what "im into", basically!

So my question is what is the answer here?

Do i just not speak of my interest when im around them? Which i think its a shame and not fair because thats ME - its who i am, its only an interest of mine! - and if they dont like that then im sorry but thats Me!

Theres things i dont like about others but i still 'aknowledge their interests in life'

«1

Comments

  • ZeroZero Veteran
    zenmyste said:


    ...its all boring so shut UP!!!

    So my question is what is the answer here?

    Perhaps save it for people who share your interest or develop a more diverse range of conversational topics.

    Or don't badge it as 'inspirational' things - wisdom may be transmitted without any particular form or agenda.
    sovaWisdom23
  • Are you able to "take out" that buddhism in your mind to show them. In a sutra mentioned the name of buddha cousin who actually has no different with other kids in normal appearance and behaviour but his inner practice was extremely high skill that no oridinary or arhat even know it, traceless to naked eyes.
    sova
  • genkakugenkaku Northampton, Mass. U.S.A. Veteran
    Those who are not interested in what interests me are often the best indicator of my own uncertainties. The love-me-love-my-opinions approach to life is skewed and, frequently, unhappy-making.

    In Zen Buddhist practice, the flavor I happened to choose, people sometimes sit silently together in meditation. I could be sitting next to a Ku Klux Klansman or the next coming of Christ ... and never know it. Something happens during meditation, but what that something is cannot be named and cannot be limited by opinions, inspirational or otherwise.

    I am not trying to suggest that anyone simply remain silent about likes and dislikes. That would be another form of cowardice. But I am suggesting that there needs to be some revision of the 'importance' given to things. As Shunryu Suzuki once observed about Zen practice, "It's important, but it's not that important." A well-decorated "altruism" is not the point ... the point is to get a clearer bead on this person who asserts importance in the first place.

    Eg. I like brownies; you like Buddhism; here we are together and ... something happens.
    ZeroDavidFullCircle
  • If someone says that you sound preachy and condescending, then you have to accept that that is how you are coming across to them.
    I have been in that situation myself. Not happy that I am seen that way, and feeling that it is the opposite of how I imagine myself to be.
    There is very little about your path that you can share with people unless they are reading the same material and have similar views.
    Don't waste your breath. It doesn't help them or you.
    vinlynVastmindBunksWisdom23
  • How often are you bringing up your interest in Buddhism? If you're bringing it up too often, it can be misconstrued as preaching.
    vinlyn
  • Manifest your beliefs by your actions. Inspire by being!
    federicaVastmindmamalove
  • BhikkhuJayasaraBhikkhuJayasara Bhikkhu Veteran
    We never preach in Buddhism nor do we force anything on someone. This may not be your intention but it is their perception, and you should be mindful of this.

    The Buddha gives 5 criteria for speech -

    The criteria for deciding what is worth saying
    [1] "In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be unfactual, untrue, unbeneficial (or: not connected with the goal), unendearing & disagreeable to others, he does not say them.

    [2] "In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be factual, true, unbeneficial, unendearing & disagreeable to others, he does not say them.

    [3] "In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be factual, true, beneficial, but unendearing & disagreeable to others, he has a sense of the proper time for saying them.

    [4] "In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be unfactual, untrue, unbeneficial, but endearing & agreeable to others, he does not say them.

    [5] "In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be factual, true, unbeneficial, but endearing & agreeable to others, he does not say them.

    [6] "In the case of words that the Tathagata knows to be factual, true, beneficial, and endearing & agreeable to others, he has a sense of the proper time for saying them. Why is that? Because the Tathagata has sympathy for living beings."

    — MN 58

    Notice that EVEN when what you want to say is factual, true, beneficial, and endearing/agreeable there is STILL a right time to say something.
    DavidYaskan
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    Sometimes 'Right Speech" actually entails keeping your yap shut.

    Hence the Buddha's sermon with the flower-twirl.....
  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator
    Is it the only thing you talk about? Do you bring it up no matter what the conversation is? My mom does that, and it IS annoying and preachy. I understand she is learning new things that are very exciting to her, but when I call to tell her I'm having my MRI today I don't need a lecture on how modern medicine and doctors just don't understand energy fields and if I went to an energy healing master they could help me. Uh, no, something inside my knee is broken. Modern medicine still has it's place. Instead of keeping a middle ground, she is way off the deep end of what she is learning about and it makes it very difficult to even have a conversation with her because that is ALL she talks about. I have to stop and ask myself why what she says, makes me feel how I do. Is what she says going to change my course of action or my beliefs? No. But it leads to frustration between us because she feels I am not taking the right course because it's not the one she would do, whereas I am more likely to say 'whatever works for you, go for it."


    When people get offended at hearing things from others, it's generally because it is challenging their own views and most people don't like to have to think about and challenge the cocoon of beliefs (or lack thereof) that they have built their life around.
    Whatever the situation, they are there to be your teachers. Instead of being offended by their words, ask yourself what you can learn from them. Can you practice compassion and acceptance anyhow? Patience? Right Speech? There is something for you to practice in there.
    MaryAnne
  • Yup most people live believing that their way of life is the best, the way to go forward, and when a child is brought into the equation it is often subject to this trend. Listen to them, learn from them and see what you feel to be right and wrong without arguing, just mentally note it down. I have seen with my own mum she is so stubborn and beyond my words that all I can do is give little help to her, so I do not push or impress my views. You can learn a lot from a very ignorant person, learning the mistakes of your own doing is wise, but to be able to learn mistakes from others close to you is wiser.
  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran
    edited January 2013
    I rarely bring up Buddhism or my being Buddhist unless it would be a natural part of the conversation. For example, if someone asks about my "faith", I tell them. If someone asks about Buddhism, I tell them what they want to know. Of course if they ask me about living in Thailand or want to see some Thai pics, it's difficult to avoid Buddhism, but I offer what is asked, and no more. If someone wants to seek out Buddhism, it's appropriate. Pushing someone toward Buddhism is not...in my view.
    BhikkhuJayasaraBunks
  • No everyone; i literally mean, even if i put a nice quote on facebook, they think its 'aimed' at them and im trying to preach...

    Its bollocks------ im not trying to preach at all. In fact, facebook has become like a diary for everyone, and i personally use it as a practice! If i am feeling anger or if i need alittle inspiration , i will post a quote on facebook, and ive been doing this for over 5 years, and its nice reading them back when i nip online!!!!

    I am not preaching at all!
    I just think its their own ''Insecurities"

    lobster
  • DakiniDakini Veteran
    edited January 2013
    vinlyn said:

    I rarely bring up Buddhism or my being Buddhist unless it would be a natural part of the conversation. For example, if someone asks about my "faith", I tell them. If someone asks about Buddhism,

    Since I view Buddhism as not being faith-based, I tell them I don't have a "faith".

    @zenmyste, it sounds like members of your family have become habituated to being rude. :(
    It also sounds like they may view your independence in choice of spiritual tradition to be an affront to the choice they've made. These sound like narcissistic people. They're caught up in "self". View them with compassion. I don't know if it would help to ask them to stop being rude. Personally, I never mentioned Buddhism to anyone in my family. It might be best to create a family for yourself from your friends who enjoy discussing philosophy, and such. If you don't have friends who are open-minded and intellectually curious about things like that, make it a project to find some.

  • BhikkhuJayasaraBhikkhuJayasara Bhikkhu Veteran
    zenmyste said:

    No everyone; i literally mean, even if i put a nice quote on facebook, they think its 'aimed' at them and im trying to preach...

    Its bollocks------ im not trying to preach at all. In fact, facebook has become like a diary for everyone, and i personally use it as a practice! If i am feeling anger or if i need alittle inspiration , i will post a quote on facebook, and ive been doing this for over 5 years, and its nice reading them back when i nip online!!!!

    I am not preaching at all!
    I just think its their own ''Insecurities"

    ooh Facebook is the worst.... How many of us love when people post their political and religious views on there.. Even though everyone knows I'm a Buddhist I still very rarely post anything political or Buddhist based.
  • karastikarasti Breathing Minnesota Moderator
    I post whatever i want and if they don't like it, it's not my problem, lol. I mean I don't post stuff that is rude or crude or offensive. But I post things in line with my life philosophies and sometimes in doing so I have found out things about people that I never new and choose to no longer keep them in my life as a result. Not because they disagree, but because their views are actually harmful. Fb is a different animal all together, and people of all sorts need to take it for what it is. When you post on FB, expect people to comment. Some might agree, some might heartily disagree. That is what FB is for. You don't have to respond to their comments.

    Do you think, if these were actual conversations, say at a big family dinner, they would say the things they do to your face? or it is simply a case of people acting differently because they feel it's ok to do online?
  • Jayantha said:

    zenmyste said:

    No everyone; i literally mean, even if i put a nice quote on facebook, they think its 'aimed' at them and im trying to preach...

    Its bollocks------ im not trying to preach at all. In fact, facebook has become like a diary for everyone, and i personally use it as a practice! If i am feeling anger or if i need alittle inspiration , i will post a quote on facebook, and ive been doing this for over 5 years, and its nice reading them back when i nip online!!!!

    I am not preaching at all!
    I just think its their own ''Insecurities"

    ooh Facebook is the worst.... How many of us love when people post their political and religious views on there.. Even though everyone knows I'm a Buddhist I still very rarely post anything political or Buddhist based.
    It doesnt have to be 'buddhist' related!
    It could just be an 'inspirational quote or sonething 'uplifting' and they dont like it!

    They think im trying to directly preach to 'them' that im a certain way and their 'not'

    But its honestly not like that, i literally could just put a "quote" on (for my own inspiration for the day) and they dont like it!

    They also say things like; buddhism and other philosophy is too deep, it isnt good to get into!

    P.s ( we had an uncle who died because he took philosophy and religion to far ( especially christianity) and he commit suicide because he simply couldnt cope with all the deep stuff.. Like, meditating, god stuff, questions he couldnt find answers to etc etc !

    Perhaps my family are just little scared of 'philosophy' - maybe they have been scarred!
  • It is also depends on circimstances and affinity of place, event and opportune time. Buddhism is universal truth, a universal self, across all ages and all realms, which has no standard behaviour pattern. Taking sitting meditation for instance, it is just one of 84000 methods of approach to develop enlightenment, and this methods is not the destination. But applying the method has a tacit flavor of telling other your interest, need not necessarily bragging or nagging your feel of goodness that does not necessarily the goodness of others because of affinity and circumstances. It is also your right approach of facing situation with universal truth. Most often than not is modus vivendi in the interest of your family as a whole, but it is also very necessary to recommend buddhism so that their life is guarantee towards the inherent universal destination of peace and bliss, sort of saleperson technique but ought to be skilfully amusing, amazing, bizaar, sometimes devillishly entertaining, in awe. Otherwise, upon their later age etc, they will be suffering fear and worry of speedy entering the unknown of decaying, ill, weak, aging, non agility, non loving and dying, terribly painful without giving them that bit of opportunity to taste a sense of never dying, decaying buddha within them.
    Jeffrey
  • There are more factors than you can know about and certainly more factors than us online are aware of. I'm saying there may be some things in your 'blindspot' that are going on. In any case it's no use blaming you or them. You can say whatever you want in your facebook posts, they can block your feed if necessary.

    I think there is a period in Buddhism when you are so enthused that you DO relate every conversation to buddhism. Eventually you just chill out and BE buddhist instead of TALK buddhist. I remember when our dog died my mom was saying at the vets "isn't his head just so perfect" and I was taking refuge in the triple gem and thinking very much on Buddhism. I said "as it is" and I felt good about being true to Buddhism. So I can see why you want to share, but it can get excessive if you relate every single thing to Buddhism.

    Some people feel sick when they talk about deep things, and that's just the way THEY are.
    BhikkhuJayasara
  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran
    Dakini said:

    vinlyn said:

    I rarely bring up Buddhism or my being Buddhist unless it would be a natural part of the conversation. For example, if someone asks about my "faith", I tell them. If someone asks about Buddhism,

    Since I view Buddhism as not being faith-based, I tell them I don't have a "faith".

    That's part of why I put "faith" in quotation marks. Cause I don't quite fully see it as "religion" either...and I guess "belief system" just doesn't come to mind...although it may be the best descriptor.

  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran
    Deepankar said:

    It is also depends on circimstances and affinity of place, event and opportune time. Buddhism is universal truth, a universal self, across all ages and all realms, which has no standard behaviour pattern. Taking sitting meditation for instance, it is just one of 84000 methods of approach to develop enlightenment, and this methods is not the destination. But applying the method has a tacit flavor of telling other your interest, need not necessarily bragging or nagging your feel of goodness that does not necessarily the goodness of others because of affinity and circumstances. It is also your right approach of facing situation with universal truth. Most often than not is modus vivendi in the interest of your family as a whole, but it is also very necessary to recommend buddhism so that their life is guarantee towards the inherent universal destination of peace and bliss, sort of saleperson technique but ought to be skilfully amusing, amazing, bizaar, sometimes devillishly entertaining, in awe. Otherwise, upon their later age etc, they will be suffering fear and worry of speedy entering the unknown of decaying, ill, weak, aging, non agility, non loving and dying, terribly painful without giving them that bit of opportunity to taste a sense of never dying, decaying buddha within them.

    You are misusing the term "universal truth". Is Buddhism a universal truth to Christians? To Muslims? To American Indians? I could go on...but since the answer would be no, then it is clearly not a universal truth.

    Additionally, how can you say it is a "universal truth", when we on this forum are constantly debating various points of it?

  • @vinlyn based your doubt, it has already proved the point above that buddhism is universal truth universal self based on circumstances and aptitude of people. Therefore a low grade people may unknowingly defame a high grade monk and being in position of self contempt not even they aware of from alot of internet reading up and speculation etc.
  • A good thing is a dropper badge of 5pts was just awarded for using @name. So do enjoy dropper badge and thanks to vanilla for this amazing and amusment park :p
  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran
    Deepankar said:

    @vinlyn based your doubt, it has already proved the point above that buddhism is universal truth universal self based on circumstances and aptitude of people. Therefore a low grade people may unknowingly defame a high grade monk and being in position of self contempt not even they aware of from alot of internet reading up and speculation etc.

    No. A universal truth is defined as, "a truth that applies to all places and all things".

    And who exactly do you include in a "low grade of people"?

  • "To a non-Buddhist, there are Buddhists and non-Buddhists. To a Buddhist, everyone is a Buddhist, even bugs."
    Shunryu Suzuki

    "No need to tell them."
    me
    Deepankar
  • To a high grade beings everything is universal self, to a low grade beings universal self becomes goddamn particle and goddname particle is people :p
  • BhikkhuJayasaraBhikkhuJayasara Bhikkhu Veteran

    "To a non-Buddhist, there are Buddhists and non-Buddhists. To a Buddhist, everyone is a Buddhist, even bugs."
    Shunryu Suzuki

    "No need to tell them."
    me

    and to a Catholic everyone was created in the image of god.. so what? I don't consider everyone a "buddhist" either.
    vinlyn
  • zenmyste said:



    They also say things like; buddhism and other philosophy is too deep, it isnt good to get into!

    P.s ( we had an uncle who died because he took philosophy and religion to far ( especially christianity) and he commit suicide because he simply couldnt cope with all the deep stuff.. Like, meditating, god stuff, questions he couldnt find answers to etc etc !

    Perhaps my family are just little scared of 'philosophy' - maybe they have been scarred!

    Well, I think this is the explanation. This puts it all in a different light. They are scared, possibly traumatized. Try to be mindful of of their loss and their fears. It seems they haven't fully recovered from the experience. This is quite understandable.

    _/\_

  • genkakugenkaku Northampton, Mass. U.S.A. Veteran
    I am not preaching at all!
    I just think its their own ''Insecurities"
    @zenmyste -- If it's their insecurities, why are you feeling so insecure?
    lobsterpommesetoranges
  • lobsterlobster Crusty Veteran
    You can not change others by wads of words. Only by being a different person will the perception of others towards you change. Stop inspiring others, it is the inspired course of inaction.
    You might not be able to do what needs to be done. Do you talk the talk but fail to walk the walk? Are you a self righteous jerk like me or a profound practitioner of the dharma?

    We await your inspiration but hopefully it will be silenced :banghead:
  • When there is perception especially against other, a very bad karma is developed. May all be safe and peace.
    lobster
  • zenmystezenmyste Veteran
    edited January 2013
    genkaku said:

    I am not preaching at all!
    I just think its their own ''Insecurities"
    @zenmyste -- If it's their insecurities, why are you feeling so insecure?

    Because they are falling out with me, they are thinking i am something im not!

    They dont like the road im going down ((buddhist by the way))

    They think its all too deep and holy!

    Should i go on?????!
    They are my family and its becoming where 'my' path is making us all fall out!

    "Why do you 'need' a path" - they ask!

    Its a shame!

  • genkakugenkaku Northampton, Mass. U.S.A. Veteran
    @zenmyste -- Just keep practicing whatever good practice you enjoy. A little at a time, the need to be right and important will loosen its grip.
    Bunks
  • This "falling out" business puzzles me. I think of my own family and our get togethers. We have people who are so full of themselves, the folks around them just look at each other and roll their eyes. We got the religious woman that thinks recent mass shootings are because of Satan inspired video games. I have a gun nut that's guaranteed to tell me that he knows Obama is on a secret mission to take his guns away from him. And there's me, who refuses to set foot in church with them because I can't guarantee to keep my mouth shut if the preacher says something stupid that pushes my buttons, so who knows what they think of me.

    But we love each other, we're family even when we can't stand being around each other much, and it takes more than saying or acting stupid to cause a falling out.

    So your family thinks you're being a jerk about your religion? Doesn't mean they don't still love you and consider you one of their family. Or at least it shouldn't, in the family I was raised in. So tell them, "Yeah, I can be preachy sometimes. Just tell me when you think I'm going on too long and I'll shut up for a while. Thanks for letting me know." Then give him a hug or slug him on the arm or whatever you folks do in your family.

    It's family. Whatcha gonna do?
    Zeropommesetorangeslobster
  • vinlynvinlyn Colorado...for now Veteran
    zenmyste said:

    genkaku said:

    I am not preaching at all!
    I just think its their own ''Insecurities"
    @zenmyste -- If it's their insecurities, why are you feeling so insecure?
    Because they are falling out with me, they are thinking i am something im not!

    They dont like the road im going down ((buddhist by the way))

    They think its all too deep and holy!

    Should i go on?????!
    They are my family and its becoming where 'my' path is making us all fall out!

    "Why do you 'need' a path" - they ask!

    Its a shame!



    Okay, so they're stating what their beliefs are about what you are saying.

    And here you are stating your beliefs about what they are saying.

    They don't like the road you are going down.

    You don't like the road they are going down.

    Seems like a pretty fair balance to me.

    BhikkhuJayasaralobster
  • Well, I don't see this as competing beliefs so much as I see it as being about trauma. They lost one loved one who delved into philosophy and religion (according to their perception. Who knows, maybe there were underlying mental health issues), and now they seem to be afraid of losing another. Normally what one does with someone who has been traumatized is--avoid discussing emotional trigger topics in their presence. That's just common-sense courtesy and compassion. The unfortunate thing in this case is that @zenmyste, when s/he posts on his/her Facebook page, isn't intending to be "in your face" about anything at all, so--what to do in that instance? Self-censor on his/her FB page? What is a reasonable course of action here?
    Jeffrey
  • BunksBunks Australia Veteran
    There is a story of a Brahmin who objected to the Buddha but came to one of his teachings.

    He verbally abused the Buddha in many different ways stating that his teachings were wrong and that he should be chased out of the country.

    When he had finished the Buddha asked him if he ever had guests in his house? Yes said the brahmin. Do you offer them food and drink? Of course he replied. The Buddha then asked him if they choose not to accept it then to whom does it belong? It belongs to me said the brahmin.

    The point is that the grief your family gives you belongs to them. It only becomes an issue for you if you choose to accept it.

    Good luck!
    zenmystecazYaskan
  • zenmyste said:

    As far as i can remember ive always been into 'inspirational' writers and books , and eventually came to meet buddhism and other philosophies etc etc!!!

    But some people in my family dont like if i even mention 'inspirational things' and especially people like buddha, because they say things like "not everyone 'needs' buddhism and its for people who must need something in their lifes and we dont, we're happy without all 'this self help crap' and its all boring so shut UP!!!

    They dont like what "im into", basically!

    So my question is what is the answer here?

    Do i just not speak of my interest when im around them? Which i think its a shame and not fair because thats ME - its who i am, its only an interest of mine! - and if they dont like that then im sorry but thats Me!

    Theres things i dont like about others but i still 'aknowledge their interests in life'

    I wonder if you like it if someone mention to you what to them is 'inspirational' and what to you is not. If you do, still others might not. So, speak what is necessary.
  • My old Zen Teacher had a saying for this situation: "Don't give acupuncture to annoyed cows."

    I think that says it all.
    pommesetoranges
  • zenmyste said:

    genkaku said:

    I am not preaching at all!
    I just think its their own ''Insecurities"
    @zenmyste -- If it's their insecurities, why are you feeling so insecure?
    Because they are falling out with me, they are thinking i am something im not!

    They dont like the road im going down ((buddhist by the way))

    They think its all too deep and holy!

    Should i go on?????!
    They are my family and its becoming where 'my' path is making us all fall out!

    "Why do you 'need' a path" - they ask!

    Its a shame!



    Should go on cause buddha gotama was also being strongly against on his search for why so many bs going on and on and no one could satisfy him with a reasonable answer, not everyone love to become buddha as they do not yet conditioned. They cant and not able to save you from suffering for true bliss. So, it is natural for slight disagreement that you have encounter. No pain no gain.
  • Cinorjer said:

    My old Zen Teacher had a saying for this situation: "Don't give acupuncture to annoyed cows."

    I think that says it all.

    But Cino, he's just putting things up on his fb page, not necessarily mentioning things in conversation. He's just decorating his space.

  • You could always just try to teach by example instead of having to worry about what to tell them.
  • DakiniDakini Veteran
    edited January 2013
    driedleaf said:

    You could always just try to teach by example instead of having to worry about what to tell them.

    But what should he do about his personal facebook page? They get on his case about every little thing there, too. They think it's all about them.
    :(

  • Some very smart by just sharing others posting of buddhist text in bit and pieces in the facebook account they created and not their cultural or family name. Because they just wanted to participate for fear that without usimg facebook, they are against moerniation or using facrbook at a means to help other on religion sharing. It does not cover the entire structure of buddhism truth ecause those are fruits and no real structure of seed is based upon. And psychologically, they seemed trying to influence othee by metta but it may not address the undyling prolem. For instance, buddha use ember burning in the wood that seemed alright, but lomg term, it may not be ok for that imdividual. Because it is a collective fruit but the oneness seed is not discovered. Sort of. Although this religious sharing is good but gradually no one like to read the entire one book or volumn that has truth insight of loving kindness. Probably and likely in the dharma degenerative era, it seemed that volumn and volumn will be gradually discarded away and no more basis is based upon. Hope that it dont happen but buddha mentioned, his dharma periods on last for 12000 years. May all be bliss
  • Dakini said:

    Cinorjer said:

    My old Zen Teacher had a saying for this situation: "Don't give acupuncture to annoyed cows."

    I think that says it all.

    But Cino, he's just putting things up on his fb page, not necessarily mentioning things in conversation. He's just decorating his space.

    Yeah, I have someone who posts lots of those "like if you love Jesus" type posts and it gets annoying. It's not really "his space" but more like a common bulletin board. After all, you're posting things because you want people to read them. Guess it's just up to him. Sure, he has the right to post whatever he wants. If he chooses to exercise that right, they can choose to "unfriend him" I guess, if they're upset enough. that's their choice.

    There's nothing wrong with not posting what you know will upset someone, just because you don't want to upset them. I guess everyone just has to decide what's more important to them, exercising their rights versus not upsetting someone.
    BhikkhuJayasara
  • @dakini is correct just decoration his post like saleperson. No conversation, probably very worry people studying there conversational profile and use aganst them in person etc. Thats no freedom of speech and the particular person may not improve by not conversing personally in facebook. For instance, if everyone here will to apply the same stance in this forum, kanena wtf would be interest? :D
  • Straight_ManStraight_Man Gentle Man Veteran
    edited January 2013
    Well, Facebook has even become a source for folks to evaluate other folks for job suitability. This is a restricted membership forum, though all can read all postings. And the admins get rid of bots fast-- nice of them. :)

    So, given Facebook's morphing over time I can see why there is concern about what to do with Facebook pages.

    But back to the OP's topic, falling out with family need not be caused "permanently" by having a developing personality that is independent of what their views are. My father was practically minded, and his religion, such as it was, conflicted with my developing ideas.

    I was unhappy growing up for decades listening to him tell me to be more practical (monkey sense practical). Now I learn that in some limited ways I think he was right (monkey mind?). He had some insights that I actually adopted once the antagonism faded with time(monkey mind concept, yes, but how I have words now to explain this).
  • Straight_ManStraight_Man Gentle Man Veteran
    Ahhh.... Young in thought habits perhaps if not in years (age of thought brings on some balance despite criticism), and it happens I cannot read Taiwanese. I have been in US mental care facility though, once. They can be non-humane and behavioristic modification facilities despite good intentions.
  • Ahhh.... Young in thought habits perhaps if not in years (age of thought brings on some balance despite criticism), and it happens I cannot read Taiwanese. I have been in US mental care facility though, once. They can be non-humane and behavioristic modification facilities despite good intentions.

    The photograph of the African orphage are acquiring martial arts skills, arts, education and meditation. They were in HongKong to visit temple to showcase their performance and also sought for kind donation to developing the infrastructure in Malawi, Africa as the orphanage are increasing and the space is not enough.

  • Straight_ManStraight_Man Gentle Man Veteran
    Funny, the map shows it in QangDong province, Taiwan. Are you sure you gave the right page?
Sign In or Register to comment.