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Amazing how life is both feast and famine, sorrow and joy - often all at once.
ant through it all, we set ourselves down in our patio chairs, enjoying our mugs of assorted brews, and watch the magnificent Sunset...Margeret! We told you that one was for the kids.....Fred! Get down fro....
Happy mayhem to one and all!!
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh blood. He parked himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and started hassling him about where he'd got it. He told them to piss off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.
"Okay, follow me," he said as he flapped out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.
Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees.
Finally he slowed and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.
"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"YES, YES, YES!" all the other bats screamed in a frenzy.
"GOOD," shouted the bat, "BECAUSE I FUCKING DIDN'T!"
JeroenLuminous beings are we, not this crude matterNetherlandsVeteran
edited July 2023
Surely two out of the marketing manager, communication manager and PR manager can go, and the project manager and product development manager can also be simplified to one role. The HR manager, Security manager, IT manager and Logistics manager can be shared with other projects, cutting back from 4 full-time employees (FTEs) to 0.5… so the whole management team can be scaled back from 10 FTEs to just 3.5 FTEs, and we will scale Dave up to double Dave.
When Truth is considered a lie
When Friendship is considered treachery
When honesty is considered deceit
When lies are considered truths
You must have found yourself
Midst politicians.
RUN!!!!
The man closed the door, locking it for the final time. Everything that had to be done was done. With a sigh, he walked to the taxi, they would never return to this once home.
As he sat down in the taxi, his wife took his hand, gazed into his eyes and lovingly, softly murmered, "Dear, did you remember to turn off the oven?"
Some lighthearted bathroom sink-ant humor from ChatGPT. It appears my ants may be of Taoist variety.
Me:
Finish the joke in a zen way, in a theravada way, in a tao way, in a sufi way: "Two ants meet at a bathroom sink in an effort to secure spilt toothpaste."
ChatGPT:
Certainly! Here are four different endings, each one corresponding to a different spiritual tradition:
Zen Way:
"Two ants meet at a bathroom sink in an effort to secure spilt toothpaste. One ant asks the other, 'Why do we struggle for this toothpaste?' The other ant replies, 'What is toothpaste?' They both pause, then continue on their way, leaving the toothpaste untouched."
Theravada Way:
"Two ants meet at a bathroom sink in an effort to secure spilt toothpaste. One ant says to the other, 'We mustn't become attached to this material gain.' The other ant replies, 'Indeed, the Middle Way is the path to liberation.' They both leave, seeking wisdom rather than toothpaste."
Tao Way:
"Two ants meet at a bathroom sink in an effort to secure spilt toothpaste. One ant observes, 'The toothpaste, though spilt, follows its nature by sticking.' The other ant responds, 'And we, by following our nature, find sustenance in it.' They feast, in harmony with the Way."
Sufi Way:
"Two ants meet at a bathroom sink in an effort to secure spilt toothpaste. One ant muses, 'Is this toothpaste a drop of the Divine's sweetness?' The other ant dances in a circle and replies, 'It is but a taste, a symbol. The true sweetness is in our connection to the Beloved.' They dance around the sink, forgetting the toothpaste but finding joy in each other's presence."
Based on a real event.
(No Orcas were harmed - Seagulls, not s much)
Orca: Tasty treat?
Seagull: Uhhh, mmmm, no
Orca: Come on. You want it
Seagull 2: Neat treat here I come!
Seagull: Thanks, but - Hay Bill! Don...
Orca: TASTY!
Moral: Beware of free treats from Orcas
“ when an american man walks into a quaint wee pub in Scotland and announces he is 1/8th Scottish, we all leap up with tears in our eyes & cry out "a lost son of Alba is returned to us!" and everyone busies round him and gets him a whisky and an old lady called Morag tearfully hugs him and calls him a bonny lad, and we all ask him to marry our bonny daughters, and the auld men start up a ceilidh tune and we teach him to dance like a Scot and when he's all tired out we cut off his head and eat him”
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
edited October 2023
My friend told me this:
"To be able to think and speak, in more than one language, is a valuable gift.
To be able to keep your mouth shut in all of them?
Priceless!"
JeroenLuminous beings are we, not this crude matterNetherlandsVeteran
“A joke about a potatoe, who had been run over by a truck and, after a series of operations, was told he would be a vegetable for the rest of his life.”
1
personDon't believe everything you thinkThe liminal spaceVeteran
I think a decent proportion of us here fall into this generation. This guy's other stuff is pretty good too.
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
Gentleman is playing Golf on a rare day off, but is distracted by his phone ringing, unnecessary conversations, 'I'll call you tomorrow..' so he loses track of where he is... he sees a young lady a short distance away, and approaches closer, asking, "Excuse me, sorry... I'm afraid I've lost track...what hole are we on?" She smiles and replies, "I'm about to hit hole 8, you're hole 7, so you're a hole behind me..."
He thanks her, and continues with his game.
After a while,he begins to think that she's quite nice.. and her golf swing isn't bad, so...
"Hi... yeah... sorry... me again.. you're now on hole...?"
"...13. That puts you on hole 12. Still a hole behind!"
He thanks her again, makes small chat about golf, then asks if she would care for a drink, once back at the ClubHouse... she accepts...
Later on, both sat at the bar, he asks her what she does...
"Well, promise you won't laugh (he puts his hand on his heart), but... I'm actually the CEO and MD of a company that makes feminine sanitary products..."
The man is serious for a moment, but bursts out laughing.
"Hey, come on, you promised!" She responds, a little irritated.
"Oh, no,I'm not laughing at you! It just that I run a toilet paper company, so I'm STILL a hole behind you!"
Comments
Don't worry, more stuff will start falling from the sky.
For the online shopper...
Amazing how life is both feast and famine, sorrow and joy - often all at once.
ant through it all, we set ourselves down in our patio chairs, enjoying our mugs of assorted brews, and watch the magnificent Sunset...Margeret! We told you that one was for the kids.....Fred! Get down fro....
Happy mayhem to one and all!!
…
…
@Linc this is NOT a joke but a technical issue … mmm … do I have to email @Linc … directly?
Doubtless I am doing something very inadvertently wrong, as even the code option which should make the text visible is not doing so …
I would think its Gen X, because its not even on the list!
Is this funny? Maybe I’m missing something 😂🤔
Is there a B- Buddhist regeneration?
the most ignorant generation is the one thinking itself the most knowledgeable. That shifts from time to time.
A corny bot generated joke...
Why did the Buddhist refuse Novocain at the dentist?
Because he wanted to transcend dental medication!
TEE HEE @Shoshin
Now (ye ex theists) we know why the gods say nothing. They are always thinking up stoopid shit …
I prefer my gods, bodhisattvas, Tantric deities, fiends etc to be my minds creation.
Up they come, snap of the fingers and … gone …
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night, covered in fresh blood. He parked himself on the ceiling of the cave to get some sleep.
Pretty soon all the other bats smelled the blood and started hassling him about where he'd got it. He told them to piss off and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in.
"Okay, follow me," he said as he flapped out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him.
Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees.
Finally he slowed and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.
"Now, do you see that tree over there?" he asked.
"YES, YES, YES!" all the other bats screamed in a frenzy.
"GOOD," shouted the bat, "BECAUSE I FUCKING DIDN'T!"
Our dog has us almost trained. She has been at it for quite some time and is doing remarkably well.
Surely two out of the marketing manager, communication manager and PR manager can go, and the project manager and product development manager can also be simplified to one role. The HR manager, Security manager, IT manager and Logistics manager can be shared with other projects, cutting back from 4 full-time employees (FTEs) to 0.5… so the whole management team can be scaled back from 10 FTEs to just 3.5 FTEs, and we will scale Dave up to double Dave.
/slash executive mode
When Truth is considered a lie
When Friendship is considered treachery
When honesty is considered deceit
When lies are considered truths
You must have found yourself
Midst politicians.
RUN!!!!
The man closed the door, locking it for the final time. Everything that had to be done was done. With a sigh, he walked to the taxi, they would never return to this once home.
As he sat down in the taxi, his wife took his hand, gazed into his eyes and lovingly, softly murmered, "Dear, did you remember to turn off the oven?"
https://piped.kavin.rocks/watch?v=YBjyxA-wYS4
Bid for cop climate change hosting from Australia …
Some lighthearted bathroom sink-ant humor from ChatGPT. It appears my ants may be of Taoist variety.
Me:
Finish the joke in a zen way, in a theravada way, in a tao way, in a sufi way: "Two ants meet at a bathroom sink in an effort to secure spilt toothpaste."
ChatGPT:
Certainly! Here are four different endings, each one corresponding to a different spiritual tradition:
Zen Way:
"Two ants meet at a bathroom sink in an effort to secure spilt toothpaste. One ant asks the other, 'Why do we struggle for this toothpaste?' The other ant replies, 'What is toothpaste?' They both pause, then continue on their way, leaving the toothpaste untouched."
Theravada Way:
"Two ants meet at a bathroom sink in an effort to secure spilt toothpaste. One ant says to the other, 'We mustn't become attached to this material gain.' The other ant replies, 'Indeed, the Middle Way is the path to liberation.' They both leave, seeking wisdom rather than toothpaste."
Tao Way:
"Two ants meet at a bathroom sink in an effort to secure spilt toothpaste. One ant observes, 'The toothpaste, though spilt, follows its nature by sticking.' The other ant responds, 'And we, by following our nature, find sustenance in it.' They feast, in harmony with the Way."
Sufi Way:
"Two ants meet at a bathroom sink in an effort to secure spilt toothpaste. One ant muses, 'Is this toothpaste a drop of the Divine's sweetness?' The other ant dances in a circle and replies, 'It is but a taste, a symbol. The true sweetness is in our connection to the Beloved.' They dance around the sink, forgetting the toothpaste but finding joy in each other's presence."
Based on a real event.
(No Orcas were harmed - Seagulls, not s much)
Orca: Tasty treat?
Seagull: Uhhh, mmmm, no
Orca: Come on. You want it
Seagull 2: Neat treat here I come!
Seagull: Thanks, but - Hay Bill! Don...
Orca: TASTY!
Moral: Beware of free treats from Orcas
Devadatta pushing the Rock at the Buddha
“ when an american man walks into a quaint wee pub in Scotland and announces he is 1/8th Scottish, we all leap up with tears in our eyes & cry out "a lost son of Alba is returned to us!" and everyone busies round him and gets him a whisky and an old lady called Morag tearfully hugs him and calls him a bonny lad, and we all ask him to marry our bonny daughters, and the auld men start up a ceilidh tune and we teach him to dance like a Scot and when he's all tired out we cut off his head and eat him”
Yep … humour from the fediverse
https://fediverse.party/
My friend told me this:
"To be able to think and speak, in more than one language, is a valuable gift.
To be able to keep your mouth shut in all of them?
Priceless!"
“A joke about a potatoe, who had been run over by a truck and, after a series of operations, was told he would be a vegetable for the rest of his life.”
I think a decent proportion of us here fall into this generation. This guy's other stuff is pretty good too.
Gentleman is playing Golf on a rare day off, but is distracted by his phone ringing, unnecessary conversations, 'I'll call you tomorrow..' so he loses track of where he is... he sees a young lady a short distance away, and approaches closer, asking, "Excuse me, sorry... I'm afraid I've lost track...what hole are we on?" She smiles and replies, "I'm about to hit hole 8, you're hole 7, so you're a hole behind me..."
He thanks her, and continues with his game.
After a while,he begins to think that she's quite nice.. and her golf swing isn't bad, so...
"Hi... yeah... sorry... me again.. you're now on hole...?"
"...13. That puts you on hole 12. Still a hole behind!"
He thanks her again, makes small chat about golf, then asks if she would care for a drink, once back at the ClubHouse... she accepts...
Later on, both sat at the bar, he asks her what she does...
"Well, promise you won't laugh (he puts his hand on his heart), but... I'm actually the CEO and MD of a company that makes feminine sanitary products..."
The man is serious for a moment, but bursts out laughing.
"Hey, come on, you promised!" She responds, a little irritated.
"Oh, no,I'm not laughing at you! It just that I run a toilet paper company, so I'm STILL a hole behind you!"
We call them unOmed people these days.
If you bark at cars that's another tip off!