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NewBuddhist Member Introductions

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Comments

  • JasonJason God Emperor Arrakis Moderator
    edited November 2009
    Good to have you aboard, Kevin. Welcome to all our other new members as well. :D
  • Love-N-PeaceLove-N-Peace Veteran
    edited November 2009
    Hello Kevin:wavey:
  • edited November 2009
    Hi i`m James i live in Windsor Ontario Canada and i have been interested in Buddhism for many years. But i have found it difficult to a take a serious step into buddhism. it seems that there are periods where i go gung-ho then slowly but surely i wain off. In other words i find it difficult to stick to the practice of not only meditation but the study of buddhism as well. Here in Windsor we have what is called the Windsor Meditation Group. There they have Dhamma talks, meditation instruction and practice. I have never been but i have always wanted to go.

    When i try to go gung-ho i find that i don`t really know where to start. I feel that if i don`t have a place to start i make no real progress and before i go to the meditation group i would like to have some understanding of what they are talking about. i guess i would say there is some lack of confidence about going to the meditation group. I have never been to one and would not know what to expect.

    I think that this site is an excellent starting point for beginners. I dont feel embarrassed to ask even the most simple question`s and that is really important for a beginner.

    So to the creators of this site i thank you.
  • edited November 2009
    Hello and welcome to new members !

    Kind wishes,

    Dazzle
  • Love-N-PeaceLove-N-Peace Veteran
    edited November 2009
    Hello James:wavey:
  • edited November 2009
    Hello!
    I'm new as you can see!
    I'm 15 and have been interested in Buddhism for a couple of years, reading as much as I can. I'm Christian but I'm open to all beliefs. I've been trying to overcome my negative emotions and it's slowly working!
    That's the main reason why I look at Buddhism. I mostly read books by the Dalai Lama.
    I live in New Zealand but I'm Welsh and proud (I'm into Celtic stuff and spirituality as well) and half Argentine. I've been trying to learn Welsh on the internet and I speak spanish.

    Nice to meet you all! I hope I'll learn much more in my quest for lasting happiness and to overcome my negative emotions, I also hope I can help all of you in some way on your path!
  • PalzangPalzang Veteran
    edited November 2009
    Hi James,

    I wouldn't worry about going gung ho for a while and then backing off. I think it's a pretty common thing for most of us Westerners who weren't brought up Buddhism. I did that for years before finally settling in. You're hit with a lot of new concepts and ways of thinking about the world, and it's only natural that it will take some time to sink in. I also wouldn't get a complex about attending the meditation group. I'm sure, like most such groups, the people are friendly and won't expect you to know anything. Most will probably not know much more than you anyway, and those who do will undoubtedly try to help you along. So just go without any expectations and I think you'll enjoy yourself.

    Palzang
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited November 2009
    Hi, James. Welcome to the site and it's lovely to meet you.

    I'd bite the bullet and just go to the centre. I agree with Palzang; you're not going to get humiliated by anyone if you don't know as much as they do. They're probably going to be much more welcoming than that! So don't worry. Just do it. :)

    Hi, Snowpaw. Welcome to the site and it's lovely to meet you.

    I spent my third year of university in Wales and it was the happiest year of my life up until that point. I fell deeply in love with Wales and the Welsh even though my family are proud descendants of Highland Scots.

    I hope you both find this site as warm, friendly, and useful as I have.
  • Love-N-PeaceLove-N-Peace Veteran
    edited November 2009
    Hiya Snowpaw
  • edited December 2009
    Hi everyone,
    My name is Jeremy I am 35 years old, and I am new to the study of Buddhism. I started out just a few short months ago researching websites that are devoted to the teaching of the Buddha.
    I found this site recently and I thought that it was a good place for me to find the right teachers
    and students alike to discuss these subjects with. I just ordered some of Thich Nhat Hahn's books to read as advised to develop a better understanding.





  • edited December 2009
    Hello and welcome to Snowpaw and Jeremy !:)

    Kind wishes,

    Dazzle
  • edited December 2009
    Thank you Dazzle
  • edited December 2009
    Welcome! I joined a few days ago. I've got a friend called Jeremy!
    I hope the teachings of the Buddha free you from suffering.
  • Love-N-PeaceLove-N-Peace Veteran
    edited December 2009
    Welcome Jeremy:wavey:
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited December 2009
    Hi, Jeremy. Welcome to the board.
  • edited December 2009
    Thanks to Snow paw, Love N peace, and Brigid for making me feel welcome as a new member.
  • edited December 2009
    Name: Elias
    Age: 13
    Sign: Gosh, I don't even know anymore...Aquarius I think, yeah.
    Hair: Dirty Blonde
    Eyes: Green?
    Height: 5'3" (Standard measurements for life)
    Weight: Somewhat chubby, maybe 130 or something.
    Born: Fountain Valley, California
    Live: Tustin, California
    Favorite book: The Dhammapada, 1984, the Communist Manifesto
    Favorite band: Procol Harum, Earth, Wind, & Fire, changes often.
    Favorite food: Anything with large bricks of lard in it.
    Favorite movie: *shrugs*
    Favorite colour: Electric Indigo

    For basically 85% of my life(Just over a decade), I was a fundamentalist Christian, and later fundamentalist conservative.

    Around 11, I started to question a lot of things. My religion, my politics, my actions, my sexuality, etc. I quickly abandoned Christianity and never really came back. I was a religious and political drifter, although my sexuality(bisexuality) mainly stayed the same.

    In my wanderings, I converted to Buddhism, but my time as a Buddhist quickly ended, and became a deist of sorts. Recently, I took a second look at Buddhism, after looking at other religions, and trying to make my own, but realized that Buddhism is what I have been craving. I consider myself a non-denominational Buddhist. I try to meditate, but living in a noisy house, it's hard to concentrate.

    Over the summer, in my family's vacation to Hawaii, we visited a Buddhist temple, modeled after one in Japan, the Byodo-In Temple The feeling I felt there, was none I had ever felt at the local synagogue or various churches. I still find this feeling hard to describe, but it was a feeling of being at ease and peace, it was beautiful...

    I had a great time there, and at their shop, I read parts of the popular Japanese Buddhist text "The Teaching of Buddha". I was going to buy it, but I doubt my parents would've approved. But I had a new feeling and respect for Buddhism. Just a few days ago, I decided to return to Buddhism, after reading the Bible, and realizing it is built on hypocrisy and double standards, and their god isn't for me, or any theistic religion is for me.

    Aside from being a Buddhist, I'm a Leninist-Bolshevik, or Trotskyist, aka a Communist.

    Please remember that communism isn't a big bad government, but before the word was soiled, it meant a: "classless, stateless and oppression-free society where decisions on what to produce and what policies to pursue are made democratically, allowing every member of society to participate in the decision-making process in both the political and economic spheres of life."

    I think I like this forum.
  • edited December 2009
    Cocojambo wrote: »
    Name: Elias
    Age: 13
    Sign: Gosh, I don't even know anymore...Aquarius I think, yeah.
    Hair: Dirty Blonde
    Eyes: Green?
    Height: 5'3" (Standard measurements for life)
    Weight: Somewhat chubby, maybe 130 or something.
    Born: Fountain Valley, California
    Live: Tustin, California
    Favorite book: The Dhammapada, 1984, the Communist Manifesto
    Favorite band: Procol Harum, Earth, Wind, & Fire, changes often.
    Favorite food: Anything with large bricks of lard in it.
    Favorite movie: *shrugs*
    Favorite colour: Electric Indigo

    For basically 85% of my life(Just over a decade), I was a fundamentalist Christian, and later fundamentalist conservative.

    Around 11, I started to question a lot of things. My religion, my politics, my actions, my sexuality, etc. I quickly abandoned Christianity and never really came back. I was a religious and political drifter, although my sexuality(bisexuality) mainly stayed the same.

    In my wanderings, I converted to Buddhism, but my time as a Buddhist quickly ended, and became a deist of sorts. Recently, I took a second look at Buddhism, after looking at other religions, and trying to make my own, but realized that Buddhism is what I have been craving. I consider myself a non-denominational Buddhist. I try to meditate, but living in a noisy house, it's hard to concentrate.

    Over the summer, in my family's vacation to Hawaii, we visited a Buddhist temple, modeled after one in Japan, the Byodo-In Temple The feeling I felt there, was none I had ever felt at the local synagogue or various churches. I still find this feeling hard to describe, but it was a feeling of being at ease and peace, it was beautiful...

    I had a great time there, and at their shop, I read parts of the popular Japanese Buddhist text "The Teaching of Buddha". I was going to buy it, but I doubt my parents would've approved. But I had a new feeling and respect for Buddhism. Just a few days ago, I decided to return to Buddhism, after reading the Bible, and realizing it is built on hypocrisy and double standards, and their god isn't for me, or any theistic religion is for me.

    Aside from being a Buddhist, I'm a Leninist-Bolshevik, or Trotskyist, aka a Communist.

    Please remember that communism isn't a big bad government, but before the word was soiled, it meant a: "classless, stateless and oppression-free society where decisions on what to produce and what policies to pursue are made democratically, allowing every member of society to participate in the decision-making process in both the political and economic spheres of life."

    I think I like this forum.

    Welcome to the board. Though I hope you re-think your support for Communism, as it has already been proven that it fails by Ludwig von Mises in the socialist calculation debates. Without a system of profit-and-loss the system will inevitably collapse.
  • Love-N-PeaceLove-N-Peace Veteran
    edited December 2009
    Welcome Elias :wavey:
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited December 2009
    A big welcome to you, Elias.

    It's lovely to meet you. I think it's great that you're a communist. It means you're a thoughtful and compassionate human being and I think that's wonderful, especially at your age.
  • edited December 2009
    Greetings! I found this site just by searching "buddhist tattoo" in my Google search. What a gorgeous collection of body art I found!

    My name is Rachel, and I am a married 23 year old mother of one (a two year old girl - Eleanor ) who keeps me young, while making me feel old all at the same time. I work part time as a cake decorator at a local grocery store in a small town in northern Missouri.

    I've generally been somewhat jaded when it comes to religion, never really being able to specifically describe how I feel about the universe and God. I believe in the golden rule, and I believe everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt, and I believe that Love is what makes everything "go round". I finally picked up a book, Awakening the Buddha Within - Lama Surya Das, and I think I've decided that Buddhism is where I belong.

    So, I'd like to join this forum in order to search with others seekers for truth. Our small town does not have even a shadow of a temple, or a meditation group, so it's difficult to find a community in which we (my husband and I) can learn from and grow with.

    I find it really difficult to concentrate while reading books (I'm only halfway through Awakening) so any other accessible resources would be most helpful!

    Thank you!
  • Love-N-PeaceLove-N-Peace Veteran
    edited December 2009
    Hiya Rachel. Welcome to the board :wavey:
  • edited December 2009
    Welcome to new members! :)


    .
  • edited December 2009
    Hello Rachel, welcome! I just got that book but I haven't started reading it really, yet.
    I'm a big fan of the Dalai Lama. You should read some of his books. They're very good and they are written simply. They've helped me a lot.

    I've got a nice website to give to you. www.buddhanet.net
    It has everything you pretty much want to know plus some very good links.

    And Welcome to Elias.
    The Bible does have useful things in it. The Dalai Lama said that all religions are the same at the core, but have different philosophies. For example, all religions teach kindness, compassion, tolerance, forgiveness etc.

    I think you are a fan of the Theory of Communism. Communism would work in a perfect world where no one would be greedy or want power, but unfortunately that world doesn't exist.
  • edited December 2009
    Intro -

    G'day people!

    I have just recently been a participant in this forum but have just discovered this particular area.

    My name is Geoff & I live in Melbourne, Australia. I am 51 years old. I am interested in ALL kinds of things - good books, movies, music and meditation. My music tastes are varied - I njoy such artists as Led Zeppelin, Jethro tull, Mike Oldfield, Pink Floyd, Tangerine Dream,
    Kate Bush, Yes & many others. I also have a couple of CD's of Tibetan chants which puts me in a tranquil mood usually.

    I was diagnosed in 1983 as having schizophrenia. I won't go into all the gory details of what led 2 that diagnosis but I suppose there are some of you who might be curious about just exactly what schizophrenia is like. So, I offer the following links -

    http://www.fortunecity.com/roswell/callanish/39/3christs/troubled.htm

    http://www.fortunecity.com/roswell/callanish/39/laing1.htm

    http://www.fortunecity.com/roswell/callanish/39/3christs/3christs.htm

    I might also point out that I wrote quite a few poems about my experience, especially during the 14 or so years I was on NO medication. You can find them here at my old site -

    http://member.melbpc.org.au/~grjallen/writing.html

    There's also a couple of quotes I would like 2 share:

    "They called me crazy, I called them crazy, and damn them! They outvoted me!"

    ~ Nathaniel Lee

    "If you talk to God, you are praying. If God talks to you, you have schizophrenia."

    ~ Thomas Szasz

    You may be wondering what all this has 2 do with Buddhism? Well, for most of my life I was very angry & cynical. I thought that anyone with "faith" was soft in the head. Or worse!

    Yes, if you had told me I would get RIGHT into meditation & reading books like "Conversations with God" & treating everyone with compassion, well, I would have absolutely laughed in your face! I guess what that shows is that nobody is a "hopeless case". I am reminded of a quote I found recently -

    "Buddha-Nature exists in everyone no matter how deeply it may be covered over by greed, anger and foolishness."

    I enjoy a good laugh. so try this collection -

    http://www.fortunecity.com/roswell/callanish/39/humour4.htm

    I am a huge Monty Python fan. Most people have heard of 'Life of Brian' but fewer are aware of 'Monty Python & the Holy Grail'. I find it hilarious and it is now on DVD. So any other fans out there check it out!

    My favourite cartoonist is also a local Melbournite -

    http://www.fortunecity.com/roswell/callanish/39/curly2.htm

    Lemme see ... what else did I have in mind to tell you all ...

    Oh well ... if it was important it will come back 2 me ...

    I leave you with one of my favourite poems -

    http://member.melbpc.org.au/~grjallen/meek2.htm

    Oh now I remember! I was just about to post and it came to me - I want 2 mention my list of favourite non-Buddhist sites. I have started a thread with Buddhist sites.

    http://www.fortunecity.com/roswell/callanish/39/best4.htm

    Namaste

    Geoff
  • edited December 2009
    Hello,

    I came across this site while googling some topics. I started practicing Buddhism more than 37 years ago with Soka Gakkai. At present, I have no Sangha. I still have a lot of Nichiren Influence; but have gotten very eclectic with Theravadin, Zen, Chinese Pure Land, & Tibetan influences. I enjoy discussing Dharma and tend to get very technical.

    One thing I enjoy is looking at how Buddhist concepts are expressed and translated; I mostly look at the Pali, Sanskrit, Chinese / sino-japanese, and English equivalents. My main theme is non-attachment to views or opinions. I prefer to look at it this way and that way. I do have quite a few tentative views. I think they are correct; or they would not be my views. However, there are holes in my take; so I am willing to let go when I come across better information.

    My ritual practice is mostly a mix of mantra chanting and silent sitting meditation. As I see it, the purpose of practice is to cultivate merits and awaken inherent virtues; to arouse and maintain wholesome mental states; while blocking and letting go of unwholesome mental states. In a sense, I am a Method-ist Buddhist. There are many methods or techniques in Buddhism, and they all do something useful. I acquire knowledge to apply it; to refine my practices and to learn new ones.

    Practice carries over into daily life, living mindfully and cheerfully as best we can; whether one is driving, shopping, working, attending a social event, or anything else.

    BTW, I think I recognize a few of you from previous cyberspace encounters,

    合掌
  • edited December 2009
    Hello and welcome, Geoff and robby !


    With kind wishes,


    Dazzle
  • JasonJason God Emperor Arrakis Moderator
    edited December 2009
    Welcome Elias, Rachel, Geoff and Robby!!!
  • JasonJason God Emperor Arrakis Moderator
    edited December 2009
    Cocojambo wrote: »
    Aside from being a Buddhist, I'm a Leninist-Bolshevik, or Trotskyist, aka a Communist.

    Personally, I think that communism/socialism and Buddhism are quite compatible, especially in the sense that Marx used it, i.e. the doctrine of the conditions of the liberation of the proletariat:
    "In communist society, where nobody has one exclusive sphere of activity but each can become accomplished in any branch he wishes, society regulates the general production and thus makes it possible for me to do one thing today and another tomorrow, to hunt in the morning, fish in the afternoon, rear cattle in the evening, criticise after dinner, just as I have a mind, without ever becoming hunter, fisherman, herdsman or critic." (Marx, The German Ideology)

    One of the things that I’ve been learning about over the past few months is Marx's materialist conception of history and the idea that "the nature of individuals depends on the material conditions determining their production." While Marx's theory was set within a specific context — that of the complex relationship between the production and reproduction of material requirements of life and the historical development of human society — it has much wider implications.

    For example, I'm of the opinion that things such as identity are conditioned, at least in part, by the historical and material conditions that we find ourselves in, and that changes in those conditions can fundamentally alter our identity and the ways in which we express ourselves, and vice versa. Not in a rigidly deterministic way, however, but in a complex and symbiotic way.

    This idea isn't necessarily new, of course. The Buddha, for example, developed similar ideas about identity in his teachings on karma, dependent co-arising, etc. In short, he viewed our sense of self as a continuous process—something which is always in flux, ever-changing from moment to moment in response to various internal and external stimuli. Furthermore, he observed that there are times when our sense of self causes us a great deal of suffering, times when we cling very strongly to that momentary identity and the objects of our sensory experience on which it's based in ways that cause a great deal of mental stress.

    But whereas the Buddha's focus was primarily on how to liberate the individual from their suffering by mastering this process of "I-making and my-making," Marx's focus, the bodhisattva that he was, was primarily on how to liberate society from their suffering and alienation by changing the material conditions that support it.

    Of course, I disagree with some of Marx's ideas and methods, but I still find a lot of his writings worth reading. Hell, even the Dalai Lama once said:
    "Of all the modern economic theories, the economic system of Marxism is founded on moral principles, while capitalism is concerned only with gain and profitability. ... The failure of the regime in the former Soviet Union was, for me, not the failure of Marxism but the failure of totalitarianism. For this reason I still think of myself as half-Marxist, half-Buddhist."
  • edited December 2009
    Thank you for the warm welcome everyone!

    Snowpaw - Thank you for the website, consider it bookmarked. Also, is there a certain book by the Dalai Lama that you would recommend beginning with?
  • edited December 2009
    Jason wrote: »

    Of course, I disagree with some of Marx's ideas and methods, but I still find a lot of his writings worth reading. ****, even the Dalai Lama once said:
    "Of all the modern economic theories, the economic system of Marxism is founded on moral principles, while capitalism is concerned only with gain and profitability. ... The failure of the regime in the former Soviet Union was, for me, not the failure of Marxism but the failure of totalitarianism. For this reason I still think of myself as half-Marxist, half-Buddhist."

    I once thought that humanity was not evolved for Marxism to work. Now I think if we were; then it would be unnecessary. The free marketplace of goods, services, and ideas is only flawed because of human afflictions; which are rooted in avarice, hatred, and ignorance.
  • Love-N-PeaceLove-N-Peace Veteran
    edited December 2009
    Welcome Geoff and Roby :wavey:
  • Quiet_witnessQuiet_witness Veteran
    edited December 2009
    Hello,

    I found this forum in my search to understand Bhuddism better. I have never considered myself Bhuddist or anything other than what I was ascribed to as a child (I was Mormon for 22 years). I have spent a great deal of time with Tao principles, mostly I have an affinity for "The Tao Te Ching" and still apply these principles to my life but as I am understanding Bhuddism more and more I feel it compliments the Tao completely and goes further into helping me understand the universe better.

    I want to learn more of Bhuddist beliefs and potentially learn some Bhuddist methods. I have been practicing Yoga for several years and have found great peace from it.

    I look forward to the discussion.

    Nameste
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited December 2009
    Hello Q_W.... welcome to our forum, I hope you find something useful here, and I'm sure we shall be delighted to hear from you, too!
  • Love-N-PeaceLove-N-Peace Veteran
    edited December 2009
    Welcome Quiet_Witness :wavey:
  • edited December 2009
    Hi everyone

    Cakemom, I would recommend "The Dalai Lama's Little Book of Wisdom". It is a good read and many insights and tips.

    For example -

    According to my experience, it is clear that if each individual makes an effort then he or she can change. Of course, change is not immediate and it takes a lot of time. In order to change and deal with emotions it is crucial to analyse which thoughts are useful, constructive and of benefit to us. I mean mainly those thoughts which make us calmer, more relaxed and which give us peace of mind, versus those thoughts which create uneasiness, fear and frustration.

    ****************************************************


    For example, the Gospels teach us to turn the other cheek, which clearly shows the practice of tolerance. For me, the main message of the Gospels is love for our fellow human beings, and the reason we should develop this is because we love God. I understand this in the sense of having infinite love. Such religious teachings are very powerful to increase and extend our good qualities. The Buddhist approach presents a very clear method. First, we try to consider all sentient beings as equal. Then we consider that the lives of all beings are just as precious as our own, and through this we develop a sense of concern for others.
    What of the case of someone who has no religious faith? Whether we follow a religion or not is a matter of individual right. It is possible to manage without religion, and in some cases it may make life simpler! But when you no longer have any interest in religion, you should not neglect the value of good human qualities. As long as we are human beings, and members of human society, we need human compassion. Without that, you cannot be happy. Since we all want to be happy, and to have a happy family and friends, we have to develop compassion and affection. It is important to recognise that there are two levels of spirituality, one with religious faith, and one without. With the latter, we simply try to be a warm-hearted person.

    Namaste
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited December 2009
    Hi, cakemom and Quiet-witness.

    Welcome to the site. It's lovely to meet you both.
  • edited December 2009
    Hi all

    Just thought of my favourite piece of advice from the Dalai Lama -

    http://www.circlesoflight.com/articles/dalai-practice.shtml

    The best teacvhings are the simplest IMHO

    Peace~LOve~Happiness
  • edited December 2009
    Hey all. I've already have a couple of posts on the site but I thought it would be proper to give a little introduction, in case you wanted to know a little more about me :)
    As I said in a previous post, my name is Liam. I am 21 years old and live is Essex, England. Though, that is only until September when I move to Staffordshire to attend university; studyng Criminology and Psychology.
    I am currenty not working due to being signed off from work for medical reasons but I hope to find new employment soon. I am really in to music, listening to it pretty much 24/7. I cannot play an instrument at the moment but I have a bass guitar on it's way, so I will learn how to play soon enough :)
    I am very interested in martial arts as well, when I get in to a better shape I hope to learn various forms such as boxing,kickboxing, tai kwon do, muai tai, brazilan ju jit su and Tai Chi. Not all at the same time, obviously :D

    I have been interested in Buddhism for a while but lacked the disipline to follow it. Now that I am a bit older the whole 'drunken, drugged up, nightclub hopping, one night stand' lifestyle isn't as appealing.

    You will need to bare with me on this site, I am quite new to practicing, so I will have a lot of questions. Nice to be here :)
  • edited December 2009
    Hello and welcome, Quiet_Witness and BabyYoureAjudas !


    Kind wishes,

    Dazzle
  • Love-N-PeaceLove-N-Peace Veteran
    edited December 2009
    Hiya Liam, hope you like the forum :wavey:
  • BrigidBrigid Veteran
    edited December 2009
    Hi, Liam.

    Welcome to the site. It's lovely to meet you.
  • edited December 2009
    cakemom wrote: »
    Thank you for the warm welcome everyone!

    Snowpaw - Thank you for the website, consider it bookmarked. Also, is there a certain book by the Dalai Lama that you would recommend beginning with?

    Well, all his books are great to start with but I have two very good ones. They're both focused on transforming the mind and overcoming negative emotions. I got them for my Birthday.

    They are:

    "The Many ways to Nirvana"

    "The Dalai Lama's Book of Transformation".

    Hope this helps. All his books are great.
  • edited December 2009
    Hey, everyone. I'm living in the UK, studying neuroimaging and becoming involved in activism, particularly environmentalism and men's rights. My practice has gone on (and off) for three years, during which I have been trying to pick out useful teachings from the Dhamma while remaining devoutly atheist. Hopefully, my perspectives on buddhism will not attract the moderators' ire.
  • edited December 2009
    Hello and welcome, Anvilsmith ! I'm from the UK too.


    Kind regards,

    Dazzle
  • Love-N-PeaceLove-N-Peace Veteran
    edited December 2009
    Hope you enjoy Anvilsmith ;)
  • edited December 2009
    Hello everyone... erm Ok ill copy someone else's layout for my introduction... :)
    Name: Emma
    Age: 26
    Sign: Taurus
    Hair: Dyed black
    Eyes: Blue and Hazel
    Height: 5'3" (Standard measurements for life)
    Weight: Erm 9 1/2 stone i think!
    Born: Preston, Lancashire
    Live: Chorley, Lancashire
    Favorite book: Cave in the Snow by Vicki Mackenzie (reading at the moment)
    Favorite band: Apocalyptica
    Favorite food: Veggie Burger
    Favorite movie: Bram Stoker's Dracula
    Favorite colour: Purple

    There have always been a few things I have known. One: that I am different in some way from my family (both natural and married) and friends; two, that my husband will die before me or leave me; and three, that after this chapter, I would become a Buddhist nun. The later one I have known much of my life, even when I did not know or was a practicing Buddhist. I would always tell people that if the worst happened and my life fell apart, I would shave my head and become a Buddhist nun.

    I feel like I am filled with this poison, and that the Dharma is the only thing that can cure me, but even a part of me feels silly, but again that is the poison: the poison that was implanted in me by the media, by this society, and by my confused and ignorant parents. I find that my mind instinctively thinks badly of people, opinions, and events and so on, and I know this is my angry and disillusioned mind filled with bad instincts. I need to clean my mind through meditation and dharma. I need to have right mind which will lead to right actions, right speech and so on.

    I had blamed my parents for this poison they filled me with, and to be honest I still do. Unfortunately I still feel they are a poisoning influence upon me and I am not strong enough to have them in my life. I had a challenging and sometimes very upsetting and depressing childhood and teenage years, and at the time I could not understand why this was happening to me, but I always knew I was different and took some solace in that, loosing myself in my stories and dreams of beings finding me, revealing my true origins and then taking me away from my life and into some better and loving life. My finding Paganism and with it meditation, chakras, candle magic and Tarot really helped me in my teenage years, and I would spend nights in my attic meditating and taking myself on amazing journeys in my mind, playing with astral projection, clearing my chakras, visiting deities, reading my future and many other solitary spiritual activities.

    When I began healing myself with the help of my husband, and began putting my life back together, I found Buddhism and discovered a guidebook to being the person I longed to be – a nice, good and kind person who lives for others and not herself, a complete opposite to everything I knew.

    I am writing this after reading the first few chapters of ‘Cave in the Snow’ by Vicki Mackenzie, about Tenzin Palmo, a English Buddhist nun who meditated in a cave in the Himalayas for 12 years to become enlightened. A sentence in this book really struck me. Vicki was recounting Tenzin’s youth and her conflict between her party good-time girl life and her spiritual side (something I can relate to), and she wrote “When the time comes to renounce, you will renounce. You’re young, enjoy yourself! Then when the time comes you’ll really have something to give up.”

    I see my life in chapters. Chapter one was my childhood and teen years; years I believe were so bad because much of my bad karma was being burnt up, cleaning my karmic platter so I could find Buddhism and be successful in practicing. Chapter Two is where I am now; a professional in the western sense of the word (married, with a mortgage, a professional job and studying for a Phd). Even writing this now, I know that this chapter does not describe me now, and that Chapter 3 will be starting soon. I entered Chapter 2 with some misguided motives: for my life to be completely different to that of my parents (which involves having plenty of cash to avoid any arguments about finances, never arguing about housework, having friends, never having children to avoid being bad parents, and being happy in my marriage), and also to prove my parents that I can be a success and better than them. These things have little meaning to me anymore since I have found the Dharma. I am in the third year of my PhD, and if I could I would give it up tomorrow, as it means nothing to me and the subject is meaningless and selfish, but I feel I must finish this chapter.

    I would like to think that the next chapter of my life will involve furthering my commitment to Buddhism and the Dharma, a job in a University, teaching Dharma, and living somewhere differently which I feel would be great to develop my knowledge of Buddhism, as at this time I have only experienced the ways of the New Kadampa Tradition (a western offshoot of Tibetan Buddhism) at the centre in Preston which has been amazing.

    I would like to believe in this lifetime I will become a Buddhist nun, will find a guru or spiritual teacher who I can find a deep and meaningful connection with, and eventually find a place where I feel that I belong, and with people I feel connected with, finally.
  • JasonJason God Emperor Arrakis Moderator
    edited December 2009
    Welcome to all of our new members!
  • edited December 2009
    :)Hi to all new members,

    I have been off line for awhile and it is a joy to see so many new sangha members. This is a wonderfuly warm and friendly site so welcome.

    Blessings and Much Metta,
    Gail ( thundreams)
  • edited December 2009
    Thanks for the welcomes. I hope here i can make some connections and hopefully find a teacher who can guide me on the path. At the moment i am almost resisting the strong pull of devoting my life to the Dharma because i am already committed to another path (PhD and marriage) - it would be great to hear from anyone else in this situation! I would really like to make contact with female teachers.
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