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Buddhism and Traumatic Life History
So, I have an elderly friend who was abused at an early age and found her father’s body after his bloody suicide. I corresponded with her for quite a while, and she often referred to this biographical fact and mentioned that she would like to get in touch with people with a similar history. She carried a lot of pain from this. But when I started telling her about Buddhist philosophy regarding suffering and letting go she suddenly started talking about wanting distance.
It reminds me of a section in Eckhart Tolle’s book ‘The Power of Now’, where he talks about people who identify with their suffering who will go to great lengths to preserve that thought pattern or habit. These are usually people who have invested a great deal of thought energy into their suffering.
It’s very sad, I think, that she spends so much time enveloped in the suffering and thought of her youth. And also very sad that she discards techniques that could help her.
Jeroen
Re: Buddhism and Traumatic Life History
I think the goal with traumatic emotions is to be able to touch into them and see them rather than suppress them. But then the important thing is to be able to let them go like you said rather than hold onto them and turn them into an identity.
person
Re: Buddhist behaviour within a Church
See? That's what I'm talking about......
I can read the nicene creed a hundred times, Lord's prayer, Mass stuff, etc......I don't feel like a liar and I don't feel like it rings true. No aversion either. I'm not uncomfortable..... Just bland words.... for me, it's like reading the phone book.....I could do that a million more times if I knew/felt like it would be beneficial/help/comfort someone else.
On my Nana's death bed, with her rosary....she was unable to pray....and I did it for her...so she could hear. I did it for days......
Things at the Temple make my ears perk up like a dog, make my heart and head say "that's right"....and the monastery can make me cry and laugh and feel at peace....and yes..at times I feel uncomfortable with the things I need to face there.
That's where the 'words' cross over for me. .. 
..
Vastmind
Re: Sense and sillyability
before i go do my retreat noble silent search for peace and love i want to add anotation/footnotes to help myself and you in our quest to dissmantle the samsara cycle of attraction and aversion fuel by ignorance. if we can dismanle this nirvana can awake us.
so ty for listening my attempt to change samsara into nirvana ...this lasting peace,love throgh wisdom
Not biting the hook
There's an image that's helped me lately that I thought I would share. Others may have already expressed it. I think Pema Chodron has spoken many times about "not biting the hook."
I think in terms of plastic bait this is pretty straightforward: don't fall for the illusion. But in the case of real worms, it's a little trickier. The worm itself is not an illusion. It's real, it has sustenance, it would allow you to continue your life as a fish.
So the illusion is the fact that this "good" thing is, in some cases, hiding a hook. That is where I get tripped up the most, usually around the arts and music, fine food, and sex. Or even things like self-help books, or something like being lazy on the beach or at the pool.
I could never reconcile the dismissal of those things as illusions because I knew they were real and positive forces. But now I DO understand that I have to look closer at each moment, because this real thing could be hiding a hook.
It has helped me be more mindful.
Of course, the problem with the metaphor is the question of What/Who is baiting and dangling the hook in front of me? What larger force wants to consume me? 
(I ask this partially in jest. My main point in posting was reconciliation of considering real, positive things merely as illusions. They're not illusions in and of themselves, they are only illusions if they are hiding a hook, in my opinion.)
Re: No Buddhist Quotes
“I love the Buddha's simple definition of enlightenment as "the end of suffering." There is nothing superhuman in that, is there? Of course, as a definition, it is incomplete. It only tells you what enlightenment is not: no suffering. But what's left when there is no more suffering? The Buddha is silent on that, and his silence implies that you'll have to find out for yourself. He uses a negative definition so that the mind cannot make it into something to believe in or into a superhuman accomplishment, a goal that is impossible for you to attain. Despite this precaution, the majority of Buddhists still believe that enlightenment is for the Buddha, not for them, at least not in this lifetime.”
— Eckhart Tolle
Jeroen
Re: Quotes - discussion
it seems that man has for a long time been a rather violent animal.
Yes and that violence appears rooted in three things: a protective nature, a survival instinct, and greed, putting profit over people. What we’re seeing in today’s world is mostly the last one. It's often disguised as legitimate: carried out by governments, corporations, or justified under the banners of "development" and "security"
Shoshin1
Re: Quotes - discussion
Very interesting @person, it seems that man has for a long time been a rather violent animal.
I notice I carry a number of idealised pictures of different societies in my head. Which may or may not be true, they are just impressions from popular culture.
I suppose the only cultures which can truly be said to be nonviolent are those which practice ahimsa: the Jain, the Tibetans, perhaps a few others.
Jeroen
