Can Buddhists celebrate Valentine Day?

footiam

Chinese New year ends with a bang this year. Known as Chap Goh Meh or the fifteenth night, it coincides with the popular Valentine Day. http://www.thestar.com.my/Lifestyle/Features/2014/02/14/Valentines-Day-Chap-Goh-Meh-lots-of-love/The latter had caused a furore to some since it is suppose to cause social ills.http://www.themalaysianinsider.com/malaysia/article/valentines-day-celebrations-cause-of-social-ills-says-jakim
Now, I wonder, can Buddhist celebrate Valentine Day?

David

NO!

jll

no, bcos attachment and romantic love will only lead to unbearable suffering when separation inevitably happens.

lobster

Missing you already.

Happy Valentines Day

DairyLama

Bah humbug!

Citta

Yes.
Hang on for some shattering news.
There is no 'Buddhist' view of Valentines Day.
The universe does not give a hoot whether you celebrate Valentines Day or not.
You are going to have to make your own decision...
Sorry about that.

robot

jll said:

no, bcos attachment and romantic love will only lead to unbearable suffering when separation inevitably happens.

You know what they say.
It's better to have loved and lost,
Than never to have loved at all.

I think that if you asked an elderly widow who was in love with her husband whether the suffering from losing her mate made the years together a mistake, she would say most certainly not.
Are Buddhists less able to bear the grief of loss than the average person?

lobster

SpinyNorman said:

Bah humbug!

musical interlude just for the hard hearted . . .


few images at start, then music . . .

betaboy

Every day is Valentine's day. That's the beauty of love, isn't it?

Vastmind

Can we celebrate it?
Watch me.....

Do small things with great love.

Happy Love Day everyone!
Much love to all you guys here......

*passes out little valentines and trinkets*
heart lollipop or temp tattoo?
Don't forget to pick up a cupcake over at the
treat table........

genkaku

BhikkhuJayasara

easy..... today is a day to practice Metta, just like every other day of course, but since in the west there is a special significance on this day this can most easily become world Metta day!


I view today as a day to save money and have less dukkha regarding whether I got the right gifts and I did this right and whether she will like it... bla bla bla, such hassle for nothing.. in the end we are all dead.

BhikkhuJayasara

sorry screwy double post

DairyLama

betaboy said:

Every day is Valentine's day. That's the beauty of love, isn't it?

Bring me my sick bucket!

DairyLama

robot said:

It's better to have loved and lost,
Than never to have loved at all.

I'm not sure I agree.

robot

SpinyNorman said:

robot said:

It's better to have loved and lost,
Than never to have loved at all.

I'm not sure I agree.

You are not sure, so there is still hope for you.
Take heart!

karasti

One doesn't have to be attached to be in love. Of course, if you are a monk or nun this question would be different.

We celebrate Valentine's day. We don't do the flower thing because as much as I love flowers and plants I don't see the point of spending a fortune on them. My husband got me a grow your own tea plants set. I got him an outfit. Got the kids each a small treat. I love hearts, and pink, and Reese's Peanut Butter Hearts. And making Valentine's boxes with my preschooler's class was the best!

Tosh

If I didn't get Mrs Tosh something for Valentines day, she'd give me a kicking.

So out of great compassion and much fear, I comply with the convention of Valentine's day.

DairyLama

robot said:

SpinyNorman said:

robot said:

It's better to have loved and lost,
Than never to have loved at all.

I'm not sure I agree.

You are not sure, so there is still hope for you.
Take heart!

Humph!

[grumpy hedgehog]

Vastmind

Balloon delivery for NB .....

lobster

Vastmind said:

Balloon delivery for NB .....

We could let [grumpy hedgehog] pop them to his grumpy little hearts content . . .

Citta

Well of course some people reject things because they have no choice in the matter anyway.

Yik_Yis_Yii

My daughter was born 34 yrs ago, today, on Valentine's Day.
That's the (only) reason I acknowledge Valentine's day at all.

BhikkhuJayasara

SpinyNorman said:

robot said:

It's better to have loved and lost,
Than never to have loved at all.

I'm not sure I agree.

oh I TOTALLY agree, because it brings you one step closer to wanting to renounce the whole thing and practice dhamma, whether its in this lifetime or 100 from now.

Tosh said:

If I didn't get Mrs Tosh something for Valentines day, she'd give me a kicking.

So out of great compassion and much fear, I comply with the convention of Valentine's day.

She needs to read this article

http://religion.blogs.cnn.com/2014/02/13/a-buddhist-guide-to-valentines-day/

Jason

I don't see why not. Celebrating Valentine's Day seems in line with the spirit of AN 4.55.

vinlyn

If you celebrate Valentine's day you will go straight to Buddhist Hell. Do not pass go. Do not collect good karma.

person

matthewmartin

It is Uposatha day. By chance. It's also my younger son's Birthday. So that's cause enough to celebrate this year.

I checked wikipedia:

Pope Gelasius I, who included Valentine among all those "... whose names are justly reverenced among men, but whose acts are known only to God." As Gelasius implies, nothing was yet known to him about his life.

So this guy, we know nothing about him. So there is no Buddhisty reason to celebrate his day in the same way me might celebrate a Bodhisatva's Birthday. (Ha, maybe instead of Bodhisatva-never-disparaging-- a real Bodhisatta, St Valentines would be Bodhisattva-no-one-knows-shit-about-him)

But the question is really about, should we Buddhists be prudes and not celebrate a holiday that entails chasing skirts, kissing and having fun.

I would say that as long as one has a healthy idea about what desire is (wanting something that is ephemeral as everything), why not chase skirts, kiss and have fun. Just be at peace with how it's all temporary and passes. If one doesn't have a healthy idea about what desire is, maybe austerities are in order-- going without for a while. But that seems like something that one would have to decide on a case by case basis.

Blanket prohibitions on chasing skirts is an exercise of power will ulterior motives, like making sure the daughter doesn't run off with the lead drummer of the zen punk rock band or vica versa.

But the role of fun in a Buddhist path of liberation would be a thread all of its own.

Jeffrey

I'm in it (Valentine's day) for the smooches. :gag:

how

You either use the Valentine's day marketing plan to do something different or you don't.
Is there really a day out there that you don't have anything to celebrate?

Vastmind

What's the best part about Valentines Day?
The day after... when all the chocolate goes on sale. hahaha

Cinorjer

I'm married and I'm a Buddhist, and you bet your bippy I observe Valentines's Day. It don't mean a thing to me, but it damned straight means something to my wife. It means she won't speak to me for days if I forget to get her at least a few cut flowers and a card on the way home.

Citta

Cinorjer said:

I'm married and I'm a Buddhist, and you bet your bippy I observe Valentines's Day. It don't mean a thing to me, but it damned straight means something to my wife. It means she won't speak to me for days if I forget to get her at least a few cut flowers and a card on the way home.

True that.

how

I can enter into pilgrimage towards a temple of chocolate delight today or
sleep with the cat on the couch tonight.

BhikkhuJayasara

Cinorjer said:

I'm married and I'm a Buddhist, and you bet your bippy I observe Valentines's Day. It don't mean a thing to me, but it damned straight means something to my wife. It means she won't speak to me for days if I forget to get her at least a few cut flowers and a card on the way home.

Happy wife, happy life..

Poor married bastards lol.

Vastmind

I'm at work...hubby is out of town...and still made sure flowers were just
delivered to the house. ...... Good job, big E xoxo

how

@Jayantha

Oh you may be surprised at the similarities that can arise between an ordination and a marriage.
LOL

Vastmind

^^^ True that ...lolololol

BhikkhuJayasara

how said:

@Jayantha

Oh you may be surprised at the similarities that can arise between an ordination and a marriage.
LOL

That will be an interesting concept to contemplate.. Thanks for that friend. :-)

Also i know i say things and joke around but i really dont have much against marriage. All things aside i had a fairly normal marriage with good and bad times, i screwed up plenty and thankfully had a forgiving wife lol. I just feel that its not universally something everyone should feel they have to do, its for some, and not for others, both equally valid.

karasti

My husband and I don't celebrate much. It's more so a family affair, though we are having a nice dinner (by ourselves) at home. I've never been big into valentine's or any other gift giving holidays. Now that I'm older they seem even more unnecessary and we try to celebrate various things year round as they apply to our family. But I do love me some chocolates and it's on clearance? woo doggie!

person

There is a branch of Buddhism, the Tathagata Witnesses, that don't celebrate any holidays or even birthdays since their origins are largely pagan and considered unbuddhist. They do believe in knocking on doors though. :buck:

jll

worldly wisdom is different from spiritual wisdom.

Buddha advocates detachment.
Buddha left his family to find the ultimate happiness.

robot said:

jll said:

no, bcos attachment and romantic love will only lead to unbearable suffering when separation inevitably happens.

You know what they say.
It's better to have loved and lost,
Than never to have loved at all.

I think that if you asked an elderly widow who was in love with her husband whether the suffering from losing her mate made the years together a mistake, she would say most certainly not.
Are Buddhists less able to bear the grief of loss than the average person?

jll

anyway, from a worldly view, try to talk to divorce lawyer, you will have a change of heart.

robot

jll said:

anyway, from a worldly view, try to talk to divorce lawyer, you will have a change of heart.

Been there, done that. Still paying spousal support eight years later.
No regrets except that I could have been a more romantic partner.

robot

jll said:

worldly wisdom is different from spiritual wisdom.

Buddha advocates detachment.
Buddha left his family to find the ultimate happiness.

robot said:

jll said:

no, bcos attachment and romantic love will only lead to unbearable suffering when separation inevitably happens.

You know what they say.
It's better to have loved and lost,
Than never to have loved at all.

I think that if you asked an elderly widow who was in love with her husband whether the suffering from losing her mate made the years together a mistake, she would say most certainly not.
Are Buddhists less able to bear the grief of loss than the average person?

Good luck with leaving the world to find wisdom.

Jason

jll said:

Buddha advocates detachment.
Buddha left his family to find the ultimate happiness.

In some cases the Buddha taught detachment, and in others:

"If both husband & wife want to see one another not only in the present life but also in the life to come, they should be in tune [with each other] in conviction, in tune in virtue, in tune in generosity, and in tune in discernment. Then they will see one another not only in the present life but also in the life to come."

Husband & wife, both of them
having conviction,
being responsive,
being restrained,
living by the Dhamma,
addressing each other
with loving words:
they benefit in manifold ways.
To them comes bliss.
Their enemies are dejected
when both are in tune in virtue.
Having followed the Dhamma here in this world,
both in tune in precepts & practices,
they delight in the world of the devas,
enjoying the pleasures they desire.

The path is a diverse one, and there's plenty of room on it for love.

David

jll said:

worldly wisdom is different from spiritual wisdom.

Buddha advocates detachment.
Buddha left his family to find the ultimate happiness.

Buddha didn't leave his family, Sidhartha did. Buddha went back and showed them family.

If Buddha was so detached, they would never had heard from him again.

And we would never had heard from him at all.

Extreme detachment is as unskillful as any other extreme.

DairyLama

But seriously though, I get a bit peed off with all these special days. For example Mothers Day and Fathers Day are fine except if you have lost one or both parents.
And the commercialism irritates me too.

DairyLama

lobster said:

Vastmind said:

Balloon delivery for NB .....

We could let [grumpy hedgehog] pop them to his grumpy little hearts content . . .

Yes, bring on the heavy weaponry!

robot

SpinyNorman said:

For example Mothers Day and Fathers Day are fine except if you have lost one or both parents.

I've been an orphan for a few years now.
I always bought something for my mom till she died. Now my kids always call me if they can find me, on Father's Day.
It's the circle of life. No need to be pissed off about it.

Citta

One of the Brahma Viharas is the cultivation of Mudita where you practice taking joy in other people's joy.