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@Vastmind said:
I walked into the grocery store yesterday and realized there was no way I would get shopping done if I didn't use the restroom. I walked to the back of the store, and ran in the bathroom hoping I wasn't going to tinkle on myself. Swung the door open, and immediately thought "why the hell are there sinks on the wall"? I turned around and saw Adjua standing outside the door and she says " mommy...your in the mens room" . .... First time in my life I ever did that. Hahaha.
I did something similar in London many years ago. Went to the local indoor swimming pool for a dip. Walked into the change rooms (which were empty thank god!), stripped completely naked and put my swimmers on. Carried my bag out and went for a swim.
After my swim I went back to the change rooms but realised I'd gone into the Ladies earlier!!!
I was just thankful no-one came in when I was in there initially.
Our local sangha visited a cemetery recently to practice slow mindful walking, we got a couple of funny looks from passers-by who probably wondered if we were zombies or something. It would have been great if we'd all been wearing one of those hats.
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federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
I can take pre-non-celebrated-Christmas orders...!
1
silverIn the beginning there was nothing, and then it exploded.USA, Left coast.Veteran
edited September 2016
Cute hat! It looks like a popcorn stitch (in crochet) - my grandmother taught me to crochet, knit, embroider, needle work, crewel work, you name it. She made a gorgeous pink and gray afghan using a similar stitch.
haha , I am a staunch buddha was bald kind of guy, so I'm already wearing the Buddha's hairstyle . And I also have plenty of winter clothing so I need nothing.
I saw this on reddit about 5 days ago and made a joke " does it come in red", people actually started looking and I get a PM from someone saying his sister could knit me one if I wanted. Reactions I was not expecting from reddit.
But the answer is yes, it comes in red, and other colors.
1
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
As I have stated elsewhere, @Jayantha if you want one, I'll do one for you. At a bargain price...
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
A man and his wife are in bed, fast asleep, when suddenly, they are both awoken by a pounding on the front door.
The man checks the clock on his bedside table. Its 3.30am.
Outside, it's a torrential downpour, raining stair-rods....
The pounding on the door, continues.
The man hurriedly throws on his dressing-gown, feels for his slippers and hurries downstairs, and opens the door.
Through the noise of the rain, the man outside, clearly drunk, says "Hello mate, sorry.... can you give us a push...?"
"At three-thirty in the morning?! In THIS weather??! You haveta be kidding me!"
And he slams the door and goes back upstairs.
"Who the hell was that - ?!" asks his wife.
"Oh god, some dumb drunk asking for a push!"
"Well did you help him?"
"God, no! Look! I'm dry, right? You think I'm going out there at three-thirty in the morning?! Have you seen the rain out there?!"
"Well, you sure got a short memory, buster," replies his wife. "Have you forgotten a moth ago, wen we were on holiday, the car packed in, and in the pouring rain at one am, these two guys helped us to the garage a half mile away?! You should be ashamed of yourself!"
The husband thinks and then, guiltily, goes back downstairs, puts on his galoshes by the door, and opens the front door again.
"Hey! You still out there, pal?"
"Yes!" comes the reply from the darkness.
"Do you still need a push?"
"Yes, I do!"
~
"Ok.... where are you?"
~
~
~
~
"Over here..... on the swing...."
The results for this years igNoble prizes (actual but rather pointless scientific research) are in:
Reproduction Prize - The late Ahmed Shafik, for testing the effects of wearing polyester, cotton, or wool trousers on the sex life of rats.
Economics Prize - Mark Avis and colleagues, for assessing the perceived personalities of rocks, from a sales and marketing perspective.
Physics Prize - Gabor Horvath and colleagues, for discovering why white-haired horses are the most horsefly-proof horses, and for discovering why dragonflies are fatally attracted to black tombstones.
Chemistry Prize - Volkswagen, for solving the problem of excessive automobile pollution emissions by automatically, electromechanically producing fewer emissions whenever the cars are being tested.
Medicine Prize - Christoph Helmchen and colleagues, for discovering that if you have an itch on the left side of your body, you can relieve it by looking into a mirror and scratching the right side of your body (and vice versa).
Psychology Prize - Evelyne Debey and colleagues, for asking a thousand liars how often they lie, and for deciding whether to believe those answers.
Peace Prize - Gordon Pennycook and colleagues, for their scholarly study called "On the Reception and Detection of Pseudo-Profound Bullshit".
Biology Prize - Awarded jointly to: Charles Foster, for living in the wild as, at different times, a badger, an otter, a deer, a fox, and a bird; and to Thomas Thwaites, for creating prosthetic extensions of his limbs that allowed him to move in the manner of, and spend time roaming hills in the company of, goats.
Literature Prize - Fredrik Sjoberg, for his three-volume autobiographical work about the pleasures of collecting flies that are dead, and flies that are not yet dead.
Perception Prize - Atsuki Higashiyama and Kohei Adachi, for investigating whether things look different when you bend over and view them between your legs.
personDon't believe everything you thinkThe liminal spaceVeteran
edited September 2016
@lobster said:
The results for this years igNoble prizes (actual but rather pointless scientific research) are in:
Reproduction Prize - The late Ahmed Shafik, for testing the effects of wearing polyester, cotton, or wool trousers on the sex life of rats.
Economics Prize - Mark Avis and colleagues, for assessing the perceived personalities of rocks, from a sales and marketing perspective.
Physics Prize - Gabor Horvath and colleagues, for discovering why white-haired horses are the most horsefly-proof horses, and for discovering why dragonflies are fatally attracted to black tombstones.
Chemistry Prize - Volkswagen, for solving the problem of excessive automobile pollution emissions by automatically, electromechanically producing fewer emissions whenever the cars are being tested.
Medicine Prize - Christoph Helmchen and colleagues, for discovering that if you have an itch on the left side of your body, you can relieve it by looking into a mirror and scratching the right side of your body (and vice versa).
Psychology Prize - Evelyne Debey and colleagues, for asking a thousand liars how often they lie, and for deciding whether to believe those answers.
Peace Prize - Gordon Pennycook and colleagues, for their scholarly study called "On the Reception and Detection of Pseudo-Profound Bullshit".
Biology Prize - Awarded jointly to: Charles Foster, for living in the wild as, at different times, a badger, an otter, a deer, a fox, and a bird; and to Thomas Thwaites, for creating prosthetic extensions of his limbs that allowed him to move in the manner of, and spend time roaming hills in the company of, goats.
Literature Prize - Fredrik Sjoberg, for his three-volume autobiographical work about the pleasures of collecting flies that are dead, and flies that are not yet dead.
Perception Prize - Atsuki Higashiyama and Kohei Adachi, for investigating whether things look different when you bend over and view them between your legs.
These are funny. I just want to mention that tonight is the 3rd annual Golden Goose awards for seemingly stupid science that led to breakthrough and scientific progress.
Comments
That's not really funny @swaroop.... that's actually anti-semitic and quite offensive...
I'll give you a chance to reflect on how many compassionate, embracing and understanding people on here, you might be offending....
Antisemitic? The cross and the Crescent are also there. I thought it was aimed at those people who believe in a creator God.
I don't need to pray.
I'll just tell you.
It's not funny, and it's not clever.
Stop.
Okay
Sorry.
Oh, my ego looks nothing like that. My Ego looks like this:
That's what makes it so irresistible...
But which one is your ego?
The one which looks cute.
I did something similar in London many years ago. Went to the local indoor swimming pool for a dip. Walked into the change rooms (which were empty thank god!), stripped completely naked and put my swimmers on. Carried my bag out and went for a swim.
After my swim I went back to the change rooms but realised I'd gone into the Ladies earlier!!!
I was just thankful no-one came in when I was in there initially.
I'll bring the llamanade.
Maybe we can ask @SpinyNorman to bring some dromederian ice cream with a camel swirl.
And......
I don't think @SpinyNorman is coming...he's got the hump
Anyone fancy a Buddha hat? AraHat? SidarthaCap?
I can loom-knit one!
Its even got the droopy ear lobes
I want one!
Our local sangha visited a cemetery recently to practice slow mindful walking, we got a couple of funny looks from passers-by who probably wondered if we were zombies or something. It would have been great if we'd all been wearing one of those hats.
I can take pre-non-celebrated-Christmas orders...!
Cute hat! It looks like a popcorn stitch (in crochet) - my grandmother taught me to crochet, knit, embroider, needle work, crewel work, you name it. She made a gorgeous pink and gray afghan using a similar stitch.
Oh. That wasn't funny? Well, how 'bout this?
If nobody's taken you up on this, let me be the first. Seriously. Could be the NB equivalent of Tshirts!
Does it come in black with gold ear lobes, with a hole for earrings, tassels etc?
@Jayantha needs one as the Sangha stole his hair ...
He would look so cute in one of those hats!
haha , I am a staunch buddha was bald kind of guy, so I'm already wearing the Buddha's hairstyle
. And I also have plenty of winter clothing so I need nothing.
I saw this on reddit about 5 days ago and made a joke " does it come in red", people actually started looking and I get a PM from someone saying his sister could knit me one if I wanted. Reactions I was not expecting from reddit.
But the answer is yes, it comes in red, and other colors.
As I have stated elsewhere, @Jayantha if you want one, I'll do one for you. At a bargain price...
Technical difficulties, normal service will be resumed as soon as possible, do not adjust your set or twiddle your knobs.
Lie detector silly passed along in email:
A man and his wife are in bed, fast asleep, when suddenly, they are both awoken by a pounding on the front door.
The man checks the clock on his bedside table. Its 3.30am.
Outside, it's a torrential downpour, raining stair-rods....
The pounding on the door, continues.
The man hurriedly throws on his dressing-gown, feels for his slippers and hurries downstairs, and opens the door.
Through the noise of the rain, the man outside, clearly drunk, says "Hello mate, sorry.... can you give us a push...?"
"At three-thirty in the morning?! In THIS weather??! You haveta be kidding me!"
And he slams the door and goes back upstairs.
"Who the hell was that - ?!" asks his wife.
"Oh god, some dumb drunk asking for a push!"
"Well did you help him?"
"God, no! Look! I'm dry, right? You think I'm going out there at three-thirty in the morning?! Have you seen the rain out there?!"
"Well, you sure got a short memory, buster," replies his wife. "Have you forgotten a moth ago, wen we were on holiday, the car packed in, and in the pouring rain at one am, these two guys helped us to the garage a half mile away?! You should be ashamed of yourself!"
The husband thinks and then, guiltily, goes back downstairs, puts on his galoshes by the door, and opens the front door again.
"Hey! You still out there, pal?"
"Yes!" comes the reply from the darkness.
"Do you still need a push?"
"Yes, I do!"
~
"Ok.... where are you?"
~
~
~
~
"Over here..... on the swing...."
Some @lobster humour....
35 accents:
I'd like to know how long it took the cartoonist to work that phrase into a joke!
Nice cup of tea anyone?....
http://www.theonion.com/article/relaxing-tea-better-fucking-work-53948
Yes, tea time is so relaxing...
A funny from @silver ...
Anyone interested in a rather unexpected Trump impression?
http://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2016/09/22/dalai-lama-trump-impression-orig.cnn
I think it was very kind of him to not point out that his brain is also like that. Flapping and small...
The results for this years igNoble prizes (actual but rather pointless scientific research) are in:
http://www.improbable.com/ig/winners/
These are funny. I just want to mention that tonight is the 3rd annual Golden Goose awards for seemingly stupid science that led to breakthrough and scientific progress.
http://www.goldengooseaward.org/history/
Winners include studies on the effects of massage on infant rats and the sex life of the screwworm fly.