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federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
I got this advice yesterday....
When you're quietly sitting alone, minding your own business, say, on a park bench (Meditating...? ) or in a cafe, reading, and a stranger comes along and tries to strike up a conversation, just stare at them wide-eyed for a second or two, then whisper to them, in mock-astonishment...
I have actually done this but alone on a park bench. When the stranger asked me if I knew the time, I turned to the space next to me and said, "I thought you said they couldn't see us.". He just turned and walked quickly away.
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
A man and his wife are sitting in a restaurant, when a beautiful woman approaches them, and as she passes, she slows and subtly caresses the man's back...
The wife asks angrily, "Who was that - ?!"
The man replies, "Oh that...? That's my Mistress...."
"Right!" Retorts the wife, "That's it! I'm filing for divorce!"
"Ok," he replies calmly, "but remember our pre-nup. If we get divorced you'll have no more trips to Paris, no more Holidays on the French Riviera, no more shopping trips to Rome, no more yacht, no more Bentley in the Garage, no more Tudor mansion, no more visiting relatives in New York...."
The wife goes silent for a moment, in thought, then she spies one of her husband's colleagues coming in, with a woman on his arm...
"Who's that with Harry?" she asks in a whisper..
"That's HIS mistress...."
"Oh.... Ours is prettier...."
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JeroenLuminous beings are we, not this crude matterNetherlandsVeteran
Heh, i found that last one really sad... how easily people are persuaded by money, rather than by their principles or their feelings of love. Osho once said people should stay together only as long as there was love, and not be sad when it was over and it was time to move on. I always thought that was a beautiful sentiment for how one should live ones life, heart first.
0
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
edited October 2016
Love as a concept doesn't exist. It is, in and of itself, an imaginary concept, by very virtue of the fact it requires definition and clarification....
Perspective. Humor requires enough commonality of background that the subplot is assumed. You may be too young for that joke. As an old guy, I found it funny.
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
Woman is getting down 'n' dirty with her lover, on the satin sheets... when her 'phone goes... It's her husband's ring-tone....
Lover stops mid-coupling... freezes.... she answers the phone....
"Hello darling.... Oh, yes? .....Alright darling, don't worry, I haven't cooked yet.... no, that's fine... yes, ok then...Good luck! see you later!"
She hangs up.
Her lover, in mild panic mode, asks, "Is he coming home??"
"No, don't worry" she murmurs, getting comfy, "He's going to be very late. Apparently, he's having a Boy's Night, and playing Poker.... with you...."
Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are
traveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in
Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out
of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car
and hisses at them through the windshield.
Quick, quick! shouts Sister Mary Agnes, What should we
do?
Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the
abomination, says Sister Mary Vincent.
Sister Mary Agnes switches on the wipers, which knock the
mini-Dracula around. But, he hangs on and continues hissing
at the nuns. What shall I do now? she shouts.
Try the windshield washer. I filled it with holy water
before we left the Vatican, replies Sister Mary Vincent.
Sister Mary Agnes turns on the windshield washer. The
vampire screams as the water burns his skin, but he hangs on
and continues hissing at the nuns.
Now what? shouts Sister Mary Agnes.
Show him your cross, says Sister Mary Vincent.
Now you're talking, says Sister Mary Agnes. She then
opens the window and shouts, Get the fck off our car!
On Thursday I along with other staff at our office attended a workshop put on by a Christian organisation that provides a similar service to what we do ( we are not affiliated with any faith based organisation but many are),...
Anyhow when it came to lunch time (the workshop was held at an hotel in Auckland... they put on a nice lunch even catered for vegetarians) one of the church pastors stood up to say grace... he "Blah blah" a bit and then said " and please lord give us the strength, not to fall asleep after lunch during the afternoon session!" well one of my work colleagues burst out laughing which set the rest of us off, including some of the religious members.... It cracks me up just thinking about it .
0
JeroenLuminous beings are we, not this crude matterNetherlandsVeteran
edited October 2016
@federica said:
Love as a concept doesn't exist. It is, in and of itself, an imaginary concept, by very virtue of the fact it requires definition and clarification....
A topic deserving of its own thread I think, there is much you could say that love is an entryway into the beneficial emotions of compassion and loving-kindness.
@Steve_B said:
Perspective. Humor requires enough commonality of background that the subplot is assumed. You may be too young for that joke. As an old guy, I found it funny.
Perhaps I have refused to acquire the necessary cynicism. 45 is not that young
1
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
Or maybe it's just a different sense of humour. I told this to a friend/colleague of mine, who recently divorced her husband for his philandering ways. She laughed like a drain.
(CNN)Some Americans unhappy with last Tuesday's election results have found a new and creative way to protest.
They're sending donations to Planned Parenthood in the name of Vice President-elect Mike Pence, who has called for cutting off federal funds to the organization and -- as governor of Indiana -- imposed tougher restrictions on abortion for women in his state.
Planned Parenthood sends certificates to thank donors -- so all those certificates are being sent to Pence's address.
Comments
Curious meerkat:
http://25.media.tumblr.com/d3a31666623cf1599b09505e4191c712/tumblr_mlbi1ja9fn1r1mkubo1_500.gif
I would so love that to be photoshopped but I have a ghastly feeling it isn't.... :Omg:
Some of my favorite shirts.
I got this advice yesterday....
When you're quietly sitting alone, minding your own business, say, on a park bench (Meditating...?
) or in a cafe, reading, and a stranger comes along and tries to strike up a conversation, just stare at them wide-eyed for a second or two, then whisper to them, in mock-astonishment...
"You can see me....?!"
(Can't wait to try it!)
I have actually done this but alone on a park bench. When the stranger asked me if I knew the time, I turned to the space next to me and said, "I thought you said they couldn't see us.". He just turned and walked quickly away.
A man and his wife are sitting in a restaurant, when a beautiful woman approaches them, and as she passes, she slows and subtly caresses the man's back...
The wife asks angrily, "Who was that - ?!"
The man replies, "Oh that...? That's my Mistress...."
"Right!" Retorts the wife, "That's it! I'm filing for divorce!"
"Ok," he replies calmly, "but remember our pre-nup. If we get divorced you'll have no more trips to Paris, no more Holidays on the French Riviera, no more shopping trips to Rome, no more yacht, no more Bentley in the Garage, no more Tudor mansion, no more visiting relatives in New York...."
The wife goes silent for a moment, in thought, then she spies one of her husband's colleagues coming in, with a woman on his arm...
"Who's that with Harry?" she asks in a whisper..
"That's HIS mistress...."
"Oh.... Ours is prettier...."
Heh, i found that last one really sad... how easily people are persuaded by money, rather than by their principles or their feelings of love. Osho once said people should stay together only as long as there was love, and not be sad when it was over and it was time to move on. I always thought that was a beautiful sentiment for how one should live ones life, heart first.
Love as a concept doesn't exist. It is, in and of itself, an imaginary concept, by very virtue of the fact it requires definition and clarification....
Perspective. Humor requires enough commonality of background that the subplot is assumed. You may be too young for that joke. As an old guy, I found it funny.
Woman is getting down 'n' dirty with her lover, on the satin sheets... when her 'phone goes... It's her husband's ring-tone....
Lover stops mid-coupling... freezes.... she answers the phone....
"Hello darling.... Oh, yes? .....Alright darling, don't worry, I haven't cooked yet.... no, that's fine... yes, ok then...Good luck! see you later!"
She hangs up.
Her lover, in mild panic mode, asks, "Is he coming home??"
"No, don't worry" she murmurs, getting comfy, "He's going to be very late. Apparently, he's having a Boy's Night, and playing Poker.... with you...."
Two nuns, Sister Mary Agnes and Sister Mary Vincent, are
traveling through Europe in their car, sightseeing in
Transylvania. As they are stopped at a traffic light, out
of nowhere, a small vampire jumps onto the hood of the car
and hisses at them through the windshield.
Quick, quick! shouts Sister Mary Agnes, What should we
do?
Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the
abomination, says Sister Mary Vincent.
Sister Mary Agnes switches on the wipers, which knock the
mini-Dracula around. But, he hangs on and continues hissing
at the nuns. What shall I do now? she shouts.
Try the windshield washer. I filled it with holy water
before we left the Vatican, replies Sister Mary Vincent.
Sister Mary Agnes turns on the windshield washer. The
vampire screams as the water burns his skin, but he hangs on
and continues hissing at the nuns.
Now what? shouts Sister Mary Agnes.
Show him your cross, says Sister Mary Vincent.
Now you're talking, says Sister Mary Agnes. She then
opens the window and shouts, Get the fck off our car!
On Thursday I along with other staff at our office attended a workshop put on by a Christian organisation that provides a similar service to what we do ( we are not affiliated with any faith based organisation but many are),...
.
Anyhow when it came to lunch time (the workshop was held at an hotel in Auckland... they put on a nice lunch even catered for vegetarians) one of the church pastors stood up to say grace... he "Blah blah" a bit and then said " and please lord give us the strength, not to fall asleep after lunch during the afternoon session!" well one of my work colleagues burst out laughing which set the rest of us off, including some of the religious members.... It cracks me up just thinking about it
A topic deserving of its own thread I think, there is much you could say that love is an entryway into the beneficial emotions of compassion and loving-kindness.
Perhaps I have refused to acquire the necessary cynicism. 45 is not that young
Or maybe it's just a different sense of humour. I told this to a friend/colleague of mine, who recently divorced her husband for his philandering ways. She laughed like a drain.
I hate it when people are at your house and ask "Do you have a bathroom?"
...No we crap in the yard !
(You haven't been to my house....)
You have a yard to crap in?! Sheer luxury!
God-almighty's Luxury Law strikes again!
...and there I was thinking that a wise person thinks 'outside' the square
Christmas present for Someone Who Already Has everything
Erm, uh, what happened to your couth, @namada?!
Maybe it's in that uh backpack. Phew.
This is what happens when you get influensed by watching the presidental debate, jokes under the seatbelt really leads you to power.
Remember, the person carrying it, is part of the 'picture'... the name 'dickhead' springs to mind....
(CNN)Some Americans unhappy with last Tuesday's election results have found a new and creative way to protest.
They're sending donations to Planned Parenthood in the name of Vice President-elect Mike Pence, who has called for cutting off federal funds to the organization and -- as governor of Indiana -- imposed tougher restrictions on abortion for women in his state.
Planned Parenthood sends certificates to thank donors -- so all those certificates are being sent to Pence's address.