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Funny Stuff

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Comments

  • KotishkaKotishka Veteran

  • FleaMarketFleaMarket Newbie, not Veteran

    @how reminded me of one of my default dream-states. lol

  • BunksBunks Australia Veteran

    I think we need a "confused" button :)

    FleaMarket
  • FleaMarketFleaMarket Newbie, not Veteran

    @Bunks said:
    I think we need a "confused" button :)

    I didn't do a good job explaining. I was reminded of how much of my suffering is self inflicted illusion I'm welcome to stop. Maybe even more relevant to me the second time around.

    Steve_B
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited May 3

    @Bunks said:
    I think we need a "confused" button :)

    Mod Note:

    No, this is a thread for funny jokes and cartoons. This isn't a thread for personal angst and things which aren't really jokes or funnies...

    Keep to side-splitting hilarious contributions, thanks!

    BunksFleaMarket
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    I heard two one-liner insults. The first made me smile wryly....

    "Well, I'd love to agree with you but, then we'd BOTH be wrong..."

    ...And the second one made me laugh out loud, and be desperate for ANY occasion to use it!
    "It looks like your face caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer."

    FleaMarket
  • FleaMarketFleaMarket Newbie, not Veteran

    Bunks
  • FleaMarketFleaMarket Newbie, not Veteran

    I took a sound meditation class once. We were instructed to lay down on our yoga mats, relax and close our eyes. The instructor had a box of noise making instruments and items, drums, gongs, feathers, cymbals, wood blocks, fans, shells, a fishing pole thing, and proceeded to use them.

    All the noises were very nice and peasant creating a gentle relaxing atmosphere except one. This one noise was downright terrifying. Sort of a repetitive squeaky shrieking. Afterward I approached her and asked about the terrifying noise maker she used and thanked her as it helped reveal some difficult mental formations which I could then address. She said she had no idea what I was talking about. When I described the noise to her she said something to the effect of "Oh, that's this broken one here. I broke it a few classes ago and haven't fixed it yet."

    federicaShoshin1
  • LionduckLionduck Veteran

    Want your ankles to be teething toys?
    Want your socks, shoes, papers chewed up and shredded?
    Want daily doody duty?
    Want a loyal companion?
    Get a puppy!

    BunkslobsterKotishkaShoshin1
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    @Lionduck said:
    Want your ankles to be teething toys?
    Want your socks, shoes, papers chewed up and shredded?
    Want daily doody duty?
    Want a loyal companion?
    Get a * baby! *

    .... No, you're right. Get a puppy!!

    BunksLionduck
  • Shoshin1Shoshin1 Veteran

    personlobsterKotishka
  • BunksBunks Australia Veteran

    howShoshin1FleaMarket
  • LionduckLionduck Veteran

    Rdiculously bad joke time:
    Overheard somewhere:
    Be good. If you can't be good, just what are you? A poitician?
    It has been said that politicians are the ones making the laws that then apply to
    everyone...except politicians.

    lobsterShoshin1Kotishka
  • personperson Don't believe everything you think the liminal space Veteran

    What time Friday? I mean all day or a set period, like between 2 and 4?

    Bunks
  • Shoshin1Shoshin1 Veteran

    BunksmarcitkoKotishkaLionduck
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    @person said:
    What time Friday? I mean all day or a set period, like between 2 and 4?

    Is that am or pm?

    Jeroenperson
  • JeroenJeroen Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter Netherlands Veteran

    And surely a really precision-minded person would be using the 24 hour clock.

  • Shoshin1Shoshin1 Veteran

    Vastmind
  • Shoshin1Shoshin1 Veteran

    Does anyone here remember the British comedian Tommy Cooper ?

    Lionduck
  • JeroenJeroen Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter Netherlands Veteran

    Yeah I remember him well, although my humour tended more towards Monty Python.

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    Oh I remember Tommy Cooper; my husband met him. He could drink anyone under the table. And (not wanting to be a party pooper, but) I watched him literally die, on stage.

    His great friend, Jimmy Tarbuck was compering the show, and had to go on stage to introduce the next act, all the while knowing his very good friend was lying behind the curtain, and was dead.
    But I knew, as I watched him slowly collapse, that it wasn't part of the act... and I was sadly, right.

    lobsterShoshin1
  • JeroenJeroen Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter Netherlands Veteran

    Dieing while you do what you love, thats not given to everyone.

  • LionduckLionduck Veteran

    "Would the owner of the seven limos parked in front of the executive entrance please move them. You are blocking the owner of the seven limos waiting to enter."
    A commonly used term during a certain former Secretary of State's tenure.
    Which turned out to be preferable to a certain former head of state proclaiming,
    "There were good people on both sides."
    meanwhile the pidgins took great pleasure in targeting the newly aqired Hummer.

    [Note: If this make sense, report to your nearest psych ward immediately..you need help]

    Steve_B
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    I rang them. The minute I spoke, they put the phone down.

  • lobsterlobster Veteran

    As we all know, humour is a serious business.
    Funny thing that.

    As we know many of our 'leaders' in all realms are comical … and ignorant of the fact.

    A monk asked Zhaozhou, “What is that which is spiritual?”
    The Master replied, “A puddle of piss in the Pure Land [of Amitabha Buddha].”
    The monk said, “I ask you to reveal it to me.”
    Zhaozhou said, “Don’t tempt me.”

    https://cundi.weebly.com/crazies.html

    Kotishka
  • "We don't want our slugs to get killed."

    lobsterJeroen
  • JeroenJeroen Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter Netherlands Veteran

    Hilarious… “we’re a bit scared” of a hedgehog?!

  • Kotishkalobster
  • FleaMarketFleaMarket Newbie, not Veteran

    Speaking of tea and cake..

    howlobster
  • personperson Don't believe everything you think the liminal space Veteran
    edited September 20

    King Charles III is supremely qualified for the position. First, he had to be born... then, he had to not die.

    lobsterShoshin1marcitko
  • Jeroen
  • Kotishka
  • Shoshin1
  • @lobster said:

    Hey buddy pick on someone your own size ;)

  • lobsterSteve_B
  • @federica said:
    Oh I remember Tommy Cooper; my husband met him. He could drink anyone under the table.
    And (not wanting to be a party pooper, but) I watched him literally die, on stage.

    I never found Tommy Cooper particularly funny or his appeal. Then I found out he was an alcoholic. Severe. Then it made sense.

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