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Funny Stuff

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Comments

  • GuiGui Veteran
    edited June 2020

    Figures. lol (I was a bass trombonist)

  • BunksBunks Australia Veteran

    @federica said:
    (My Dad was a conductor...)

    Really?

  • lobsterlobster Veteran

    ... and now back to the funny stuff ..
    Death and bodies ...

    federicahowShoshin
  • GuiGui Veteran

    Sometimes life seems like a Monty Python skit. This is too good to be true. Clever Fed. But if it is true, I have stepped in it once again hahahahaha. Please don't ban me! hahahaha (yes, I am too old to LOL comfortably)

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    @Gui said: Sometimes life seems like a Monty Python skit. This is too good to be true. Clever Fed. But if it is true, I have stepped in it once again hahahahaha. Please don't ban me! hahahaha (yes, I am too old to LOL comfortably)

    Why would I ban you? I won't ban you...!

    I will just pick on you for the rest of your life. Much more fun...!

    lobsterGuiadamcrossleyBunks
  • KeromeKerome Love, love is mystery The Continent Veteran

    A man sitting at a bar watched a girl walk in. He turned to the woman next to him and said, “isn’t it awful how many boys look like girls these days”. “That is my son,” said the woman. “Ah i'm sorry ma’am, you must feel like a proud mother”, apologised the man. “And I’m not the mother!”

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    From a discussion in this thread:

    This Post started it all off...

    I'm sure I may invite criticism, but modern art does nothing for me. I actually think Jackson Pollock's work is over-rated and pretentious.

    I remember watching an episode of "You've been framed" many years ago, where the prank team actually put a number of blank canvases in a Monkey enclosure, with paints, and gave the resident chimps free rein. Then they took over an arty-type building (high industrial ceilings, brick walls, concrete pillars, white marble-tiled floors, mood lighting) Turned it into a Commercial Art Studio and Gallery, and put on an exhibition by an up-and-coming young artist, a prodigy fresh out of Tokyo called Jhi Pang Xi.

    You should have seen these Art experts eulogising and praising the work, calling it a structured expression of joyous naivete and innocence, and other such blah-blah... God they went on and on, each giving their opinions on this wonderful, newly-discovered artist, who would undoubtedly make a huge impact on the Art world, as his work became more widespread, and well-known...

    The young man never put in an appearance, preferring his Agent to speak on his behalf.
    Of course, there WAS no Artist.

    And once these so-called expert and much-respected Art Critics, dealers and Gallery owners were advised that Jhi Pang Xi was actually 'Chimpanzee' and that all the paintings had been done by apes... Goodness their faces were literally a picture.

    Brilliant scam.
    Pretentious twonks.

    KeromeWalkerpersonコチシカ
  • KeromeKerome Love, love is mystery The Continent Veteran

    It’s definitely a case of the emperor having no clothes... it shows how much of the process of building up artists is just a sham, a happy confluence of critics eulogising about something that has no content.

  • howhow Veteran Veteran

    Imagine how chimpanzee's feel having to hide their art behind a human pseudonym to be respected.

    ShoshinVastmind
  • BunksBunks Australia Veteran

    For me, sport is Art. I'm not interested in the other stuff but each to their own...

  • personperson Don't believe everything you think the liminal space Veteran

    People have done the same sort of thing with wine. I remember the story one person told about the rotating hoity toity parties the professors at his school would have. One time when it was his turn he bought $2 bottles of wine and only revealed it after his colleagues went on about the aromas and earthy tones and what not. Needless to say they weren't happy with him, I want to say he lost a couple friends. I can't remember if he actually did, I just want it to be true. 😁

    WalkerlobsterKerome
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator
    edited June 2020

    @person said:
    People have done the same sort of thing with wine. I remember the story one person told about the rotating hoity toity parties the professors at his school would have. One time when it was his turn he bought $2 bottles of wine and only revealed it after his colleagues went on about the aromas and earthy tones and what not. Needless to say they weren't happy with him, I want to say he lost a couple friends. I can't remember if he actually did, I just want it to be true. 😁

    I'm sure you're right and it probably is: When I lived in France, we had two guys living together in a small house partially built into the rockface... They did love their food and wine.... and there were a couple of British Doctors who had a holiday home just further along the road... and they were wine snobs, particularly the husband... The two fellas and the doctors regularly got together for a meal, and the policy was, if you're not the one cooking, you are the one bringing a bottle...
    And the two fellas would regularly buy some really quite expensive wine, drink it, then re-fill the bottle with cheapo cheapo vino paint-strippo... and the doctors would go crazy over the bouquet, the fruit overtone with the rich oak sub-flavours and the provenance and the year.... completely unaware that they were drinking a cruddy wine, and the bottle it came in was more valuable....

    person
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    @how said:
    Imagine how chimpanzee's feel having to hide their art behind a human pseudonym to be respected.

    You'll be surprised and also glad to hear all the paintings were actually sold, and the money went to the zoo's funds for the upkeep and welfare of the inhabitants.

    One of the critics bought a couple of the paintings for a rather generous price, which he maintained was to teach him to be a little more cautious and circumspect about his opinions...

    how
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited June 2020

    This chimpanzee looks like he is pretty good!

    lobster
  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    Now, see, I WOULD buy that!

    lobster
  • personperson Don't believe everything you think the liminal space Veteran

    I love the artist's use of color here, the boldness of the palate! And see how it really expresses their passion for life and angst at the world. Also notice the artist's use of negative space on the left of the canvas expressing their freedom amidst the chaos.

    lobsterVastmindWalker
  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran

    Whilst Man, however well-behaved,At best is but a monkey shaved!

    ~Charlie Darwin~

    personhow
  • howhow Veteran Veteran

    The true origins of the Rorschach Test are finally released.

  • federicafederica Seeker of the clear blue sky... Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt Moderator

    @person said:
    I love the artist's use of color here, the boldness of the palate! And see how it really expresses their passion for life and angst at the world. Also notice the artist's use of negative space on the left of the canvas expressing their freedom amidst the chaos.

    What a load of Pollock.

    lobsterpersonShoshin
  • コチシカコチシカ Berlin, Germany Veteran

    Ajahn Sona being funny :)

  • personperson Don't believe everything you think the liminal space Veteran

    Vastmind
  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran

    Walkeradamcrossley
  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran

    コチシカBunksWalker
  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran

    WalkerJeffreyコチシカlobster
  • personBunksJeffrey
  • personperson Don't believe everything you think the liminal space Veteran
    edited August 2020

    @lobster said:

    The Dalai Lama IS tougher than my mama, that's just facts.

    Shoshinlobsterコチシカ
  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran

    BunksWalkerhowadamcrossley
  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran
    edited August 2020

    @person said:

    It reminds me of an Austrian village which used to be called "Fucking"

    The village is especially popular with British tourists; as a local tour guide explained: >"The Germans all want to see Mozart's house in Salzburg; the Americans want to see where The Sound of Music was filmed; the Japanese want Hitler's birthplace in Braunau; but for the British, it's all about Fucking."[10] Augustina Lindlbauer, the manager of an area guesthouse, noted that the area had lakes, forests, and vistas worth visiting, but there was an "obsession with Fucking". Lindlbauer recalled how she had to explain to a British female tourist "that there were no Fucking postcards.

    it has since changed its name to "Fugging"....for obvious reasons...English speaking tourists kept stealing the "Fucking" village sign post.....and the Fucking villagers had had enough...I don't blame them ;)
    Well WTF.... it turns out they didn't change the village's name after all...

    personVastmindlobsterWalker
  • ShoshinShoshin No one in particular Nowhere Special Veteran

    JeffreyBunksVastmind
  • JeffreyJeffrey Veteran
    edited September 2020

    @Gui said:
    "Picked up a hitchhiker. He asked if I wasn't afraid he might be a serial killer. I told him the odds of two serial killers being in the same car was extremely unlikely."

    There was a twilight zone* I think with Jeff Goldblum where his character arrives by bus mistakenly at a 'small town' and he is walking around town getting all these weird vibes as an outsider. Eventually a man approaches him and essentially says he is a stranger and nobody police would find out if someone kills him. He replies that he came to that town where nobody knows his identity in order to himself kill someone. Ends up as a stalemate and you see him leaving the town again on a bus.

    *edit it's a Ray Bradbury Theater named "The Town Where No One Got Off"

  • personperson Don't believe everything you think the liminal space Veteran

    @Kerome said:
    “I have some bad news and some worse news,” says a doctor phoning his patient. “The bad news is that you only have twenty four hours left to live.” “Ah what could be worse than that?!” Exclaimed the patient. “Well, I have been trying to contact you since yesterday.”

    The doctor says to their patient, "I have some bad news, you only have 10 to live."

    "10 What!? Months, weeks?", asks the patient.

    "9..."

    Shoshin1WalkerBunks
  • lobsterlobster Veteran
    edited September 2020

    @Gui said:
    "Picked up a hitchhiker. He asked if I wasn't afraid he might be a serial killer. I told him the odds of two serial killers being in the same car was extremely unlikely."

    I must admit I love dark humour.
    I just hope President DeTrump is really a clown ...

    ... also like silly, here are a couple from Apples Siri [hey siri tell me a joke]

    My cat swallowed a ball of yarn
    she had mittens

    Mountains are funny
    they are hill areas

    BunksJeffreyhow
  • You can't be sirious.

    howBunkslobsterShoshin1
  • Dad Jokes:

    "Whenever we drive past a graveyard my dad says, 'Do you know why I can’t be buried there?' And we all say, 'Why not?' And he says, 'Because I’m not dead yet!'”

    "A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, 'I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.'"

    "Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, 'No, just leave it in the carton!'"

    Shoshin1Bunks
  • Trump finally announced his health care plan to replace Obamacare. It's called GoFundMe.

    howShoshin1marcitko
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