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There was a time when I knew everything worth knowing. Should there somehow be something I did not know, I knew exactly where to get the information. I was the expert of experts.
Then I entered kindergarten....
Now, just like the rest of the "Adults", I proudly proclaim and graciously share my profound ignorance.
It rained! But we could only see it pass by. It rained, but not where we stood. We were told we had rain. oh yes. But we were somehow in the open and dry - again.
@Bunks our country also called energetically for the cessation of hostilities...
ohhh and everyone here is making jokes about how worried Putin is going to get.
My son Luke loves that I named my children after Star Wars characters.
My daughter, Chewbacca, not so much.
4
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
@person said:
I've recently fallen down the rabbit hole of these sorts of funny videos. I thought this one was particularly good.
Ah, confession time... as have I, @person ... I click on the "Watch" option on Facebook and am entertained for relatively pointless and meaningless hours, by idiotic conversations on Facebook, Whatsapp, TikTok and Twitter, mostly comments by people who drowned in the shallow end of the Gene Pool...
"I'm not saying you're the worst idiot on earth, but you'd better hope they don't die any time soon..."
Priceless.
Can't wait to use that one... (Not here, Obvs...)
Q. What did the ocean say to the beach?
A. Nothing. It just waved.
Perfect.
Buddhist.
One of the reasons I like kids and crazies is they spot/illustrate the profound.
An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room said, "Yeah, right."
Two young salmon are swimming along one day. As they do, they are passed by a wiser, older fish coming the other way.
The wiser fish greets the two as he passes, saying, "Morning, boys! How's the water?"
The other two continue to swim in silence for a little while, until the first one turns to the other and asks, "What the hell is water?"
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you." and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."
This student received the only A.
2
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
"Dad... I'm sorry, but... I think you're gonna get a letter from school...."
"Oh crap, Jimmy, what the heck you gone done now?!"
"Well... I was in the line in the canteen, ya know? Linin' up for lunch, an' I passed a bowl of apples..."
"So...?!
"Well... it had a note on it, read - 'only take one, God is watching!' but I didn't want an apple..."
"...and?"
So further along, there was a big tray of cookies, an' I wrote a note for them..."
"...?"
"I wrote - 'Take as many as you want, 'cos' God is watchin' the apples..."
Isn't it so nice that the two countries are so conderned about each others' citizens' health? At time humor is all we have to hold back the dark clouds.
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
Due to Covid and Brexit, Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs have such a backlog of Tax forms to send out, they've simplified the form to expedite matters. Instead of a 6-page, 12-sided detailed and thorough questionnaire, which normally takes 3 days to fill in, and 2 months to process, the form now consists of 4 items:
1 - How much did you earn in the previous Tax year?
2 - What were your expenses?
3 - How much do you have left?
4 - Send it in.
2
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
I went to visit my son the other day. At one point, while he was cooking lunch, I asked him,
"Do you have a newspaper?"
"Jeesh, Dad, are you kidding me? Get with the programme! use an iPad, like everyone else!
I'm telling ya, that Fly didn't know what hit him...
4
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
What is the sound of no thumbs texting...?
1
personDon't believe everything you thinkThe liminal spaceVeteran
@federica said:
What is the sound of no thumbs texting...?
A voice to text app
0
personDon't believe everything you thinkThe liminal spaceVeteran
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
I've just received a call from Detectives, informing me they've found my husband's body in the river.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.Yeah.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
....That's not where I left it.....
federicaSeeker of the clear blue sky...Its better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubtModerator
A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help.
"Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says,
"I'll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million pounds. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million pounds. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."
The kid is puzzled, but decides to ask his mother.
"Mum, if someone gave you a million pounds, would you sleep with Robert Redford?"
"Don't tell your father, but yes, I would," she replies.
He then goes to his sister's room.
"Sis, if someone gave you a million pounds, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?"
She replies, "Omigod! Definitely!"
The kid goes back to his father.
"Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million quid, but in reality, we are living with two sluts."
Comments
Bojo's been trained well
There was a time when I knew everything worth knowing. Should there somehow be something I did not know, I knew exactly where to get the information. I was the expert of experts.
Then I entered kindergarten....
Now, just like the rest of the "Adults", I proudly proclaim and graciously share my profound ignorance.
I couldn't resist it...
This went viral around Christmastime, its a deepfake of Mark Rutte the Dutch prime minister and various other political figures…
Evaporated toilet paper
When the prince forgot which ball he found the slipper at...
Joke from my 9 year old:
Q. What did the ocean say to the beach?
A. Nothing. It just waved.
No doubt we have all been there...
Please enter your password
Please enter your new password
"cabbage"
Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters
"boiled cabbage"
Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
"! boiled cabbage"
Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
"50bloodyboiledcabbages"
Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
"50BLOODYboiledcabbages"
Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.
"50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAss, IfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessnow"
Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.
"ReallyPissedOff50BloodyCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessnow"
Sorry, that password is already in use.
It rained! But we could only see it pass by. It rained, but not where we stood. We were told we had rain. oh yes. But we were somehow in the open and dry - again.
Mac argues against evolution...
I think @ShanJieshi2 will like this one 😂
@Bunks our country also called energetically for the cessation of hostilities...
ohhh and everyone here is making jokes about how worried Putin is going to get.
I've been feeling this void in my spirit that I just couldn't fill, not knowing what it was. That void has now been filled.
I never knew how empty my soul truly was until it was filled. Thank you. 🙏
Seriously though, do you know if he has more stuff and where I can find it?
@person there is another video..we will rock you buddhist version
I've recently fallen down the rabbit hole of these sorts of funny videos. I thought this one was particularly good.
My son Luke loves that I named my children after Star Wars characters.
My daughter, Chewbacca, not so much.
Ah, confession time... as have I, @person ... I click on the "Watch" option on Facebook and am entertained for relatively pointless and meaningless hours, by idiotic conversations on Facebook, Whatsapp, TikTok and Twitter, mostly comments by people who drowned in the shallow end of the Gene Pool...
"I'm not saying you're the worst idiot on earth, but you'd better hope they don't die any time soon..."
Priceless.
Can't wait to use that one... (Not here, Obvs...)
Perfect.
Buddhist.
One of the reasons I like kids and crazies is they spot/illustrate the profound.
An MIT linguistics professor was lecturing his class the other day. "In English," he said, "a double negative forms a positive. However, in some languages, such as Russian, a double negative remains a negative. But there isn't a single language, not one, in which a double positive can express a negative."
A voice from the back of the room said, "Yeah, right."
An oldie but 'hell' of a joke...
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you." and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze."
This student received the only A.
"Dad... I'm sorry, but... I think you're gonna get a letter from school...."
"Oh crap, Jimmy, what the heck you gone done now?!"
"Well... I was in the line in the canteen, ya know? Linin' up for lunch, an' I passed a bowl of apples..."
"So...?!
"Well... it had a note on it, read - 'only take one, God is watching!' but I didn't want an apple..."
"...and?"
So further along, there was a big tray of cookies, an' I wrote a note for them..."
"...?"
"I wrote - 'Take as many as you want, 'cos' God is watchin' the apples..."
https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/2007-03-24
some amusement here in Oz at the logo design for the federal governments new women’s network.
Designed by a man perhaps?
… and now a message from our Russian Friends for USA
This is a Russian comedienne, video was sent to me today …
Isn't it so nice that the two countries are so conderned about each others' citizens' health? At time humor is all we have to hold back the dark clouds.
Due to Covid and Brexit, Her Majesty's Revenue and Customs have such a backlog of Tax forms to send out, they've simplified the form to expedite matters. Instead of a 6-page, 12-sided detailed and thorough questionnaire, which normally takes 3 days to fill in, and 2 months to process, the form now consists of 4 items:
1 - How much did you earn in the previous Tax year?
2 - What were your expenses?
3 - How much do you have left?
4 - Send it in.
I went to visit my son the other day. At one point, while he was cooking lunch, I asked him,
"Do you have a newspaper?"
"Jeesh, Dad, are you kidding me? Get with the programme! use an iPad, like everyone else!
I'm telling ya, that Fly didn't know what hit him...
What is the sound of no thumbs texting...?
A voice to text app
Another winner.
Young child finds path to heavy jana
I've just received a call from Detectives, informing me they've found my husband's body in the river.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.Yeah.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
....That's not where I left it.....
A kid comes home from school with a writing assignment. He asks his father for help.
"Dad, can you tell me the difference between potential and reality?"
His father looks up, thoughtfully, and then says,
"I'll demonstrate. Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million pounds. Then go ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million pounds. Then come back and tell me what you've learned."
The kid is puzzled, but decides to ask his mother.
"Mum, if someone gave you a million pounds, would you sleep with Robert Redford?"
"Don't tell your father, but yes, I would," she replies.
He then goes to his sister's room.
"Sis, if someone gave you a million pounds, would you sleep with Brad Pitt?"
She replies, "Omigod! Definitely!"
The kid goes back to his father.
"Dad, I think I've figured it out. Potentially, we are sitting on two million quid, but in reality, we are living with two sluts."
Sadly - I can believe it!
(I suggest you mute the sound. nobody don't need dat shit....)