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Pope Francis is visiting New York City. He is riding in his limo when he asks the chauffeur if he can drive for a while. He wants to see how fast the limo can go.
Sure enough, the Pope takes the wheel and starts to speed, and is pulled over by a cop.
The cop is amazed to see Pope Francis behind the wheel. He doesn't know what to do, so he calls the police chief.
"You won't believe who I just pulled over!"
"Is it the Mayor?"
"No, more important than that."
"Is it the Governor?"
"No, even more important than the Governor!"
"Well, who is it then?"
"To be honest, I don't know. But the Pope is his chauffeur!!"
A little girl asked her Dad, "Daddy, where do babies come from?"
And Dad replied, "God made Adam and Eve then they made babies and so on and so on...."
She went and asked her Mum the same question and she replied, "We used to be monkeys and they had babies and so on and so on...."
So the little girl went back to her Dad and said, "Dad, you lied to me! Mum said we came from monkeys!"
And the Dad replied, "Oh no no no, that's just your Mums side of the family....."
An old guy in his Volvo is driving home from work when his wife rings him on his carphone. "Honey", she says in a worried voice, "be careful. There was a bit on the news just now, some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the freeway". "It's worse than that", he replies, "there are hundreds of them!"
Comments
...Shit happens
I was recently doing further research on yogic flying when I came across my post on a guide to religions:
http://newbuddhist.com/discussion/19819/lobsters-guide-to-religions
It seems that some people do not take my acadamic research seriously
"Honestly it wasn't me......"
" Eek...WTF..."
Here is a book signing/talk on humour and spirituality at my favourite bookstore, which I never go to anymore ...
Motivation app now available on your mobile ...
“Whenever I meet somebody, I try and accept them for who I am.”
I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage... I lost my case.
@lobster , that's because flights of fantasy don't count.
He's just been told it's the Year of the Dog
Not funny ... unless laughing @silver
Pope Francis is visiting New York City. He is riding in his limo when he asks the chauffeur if he can drive for a while. He wants to see how fast the limo can go.
Sure enough, the Pope takes the wheel and starts to speed, and is pulled over by a cop.
The cop is amazed to see Pope Francis behind the wheel. He doesn't know what to do, so he calls the police chief.
"You won't believe who I just pulled over!"
"Is it the Mayor?"
"No, more important than that."
"Is it the Governor?"
"No, even more important than the Governor!"
"Well, who is it then?"
"To be honest, I don't know. But the Pope is his chauffeur!!"
Muhammed Ali
Maybe this one is already here, but I'm not sure.
Koan......
@Gui I haven't seen a comic that good in some time.
Keep watching... the acrobatics are mind-boggling!
"What is Beethoven doing now? ...De-composing "
My grandfather lost everything in the Great Depression. A banker jumped out of a window and landed on his apple cart.
A little girl asked her Dad, "Daddy, where do babies come from?"
And Dad replied, "God made Adam and Eve then they made babies and so on and so on...."
She went and asked her Mum the same question and she replied, "We used to be monkeys and they had babies and so on and so on...."
So the little girl went back to her Dad and said, "Dad, you lied to me! Mum said we came from monkeys!"
And the Dad replied, "Oh no no no, that's just your Mums side of the family....."
An old guy in his Volvo is driving home from work when his wife rings him on his carphone. "Honey", she says in a worried voice, "be careful. There was a bit on the news just now, some lunatic is driving the wrong way down the freeway". "It's worse than that", he replies, "there are hundreds of them!"
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma?
There’s no menu: You get what you deserve.
So will they implement this by researching your browser history to see what you deserve? And other internet records?
What the? No words.
I heard about this great new restaurant on the moon, so I checked out its Yelp! reviews.
Great food, no atmosphere.
Oh shut up.
At least one person thought it was funny.
Knock, knock.
Who' there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No they don't, cows go moo!
How do you get 4 elephants into a jeep?
Easy, two in the front, two in the back...
How do you get 4 hippos into a jeep?
Take out the 4 elephants and put two hippos in front, two in back, easy
No, it's a different jeep! Hah!!
OK teacher! half point for that answer?
yes. And the other half, detention.
You can never say I'm not balanced....
They told me I'd never be good at poetry
because I'm dyslexic.
But so far, I've made three jugs and a vase, and they're really good.
...Geddit...?!
Spaghetti Junction ? Hmm It's bananas at Spaghetti Junction
Nope!
C'mon, @Shoshin - think! This is right up your street!