Welcome home! Please contact lincoln@icrontic.com if you have any difficulty logging in or using the site. New registrations must be manually approved which may take several days. Can't log in? Try clearing your browser's cookies.
silverIn the beginning there was nothing, and then it exploded.USA, Left coast.Veteran
edited April 2017
Sharing Peanuts
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, 'Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?'. 'We can't chew them because we've no teeth', she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, 'Why do you buy them then?'
The old lady replied, 'We just love the chocolate around them.'
It is possible to analyse music and understand aspects of its effect and usage. So too with humour. However just as with music and art, explain the joke too much and you kill it. The life of a jokes humour is dependent on how and what is heard. What is consequently made of it is dependent on the capacity and comprehension of the listener.
@lobster said: It is possible to analyse music and understand aspects of its effect and usage. So too with humour. However just as with music and art, explain the joke too much and you kill it. The life of a jokes humour is dependent on how and what is heard. What is consequently made of it is dependent on the capacity and comprehension of the listener.
silverIn the beginning there was nothing, and then it exploded.USA, Left coast.Veteran
A nun walked into the local haberdashery and tried to shoplift and entire
bale of black cloth.
The manager caught her, took her into the office telling her he was going to
call the police.
She pleaded and pleaded, promised she'd never do it again
so finally he relented.
He said, "All right. I'll let you off this time. But don't make a habit of it."
4
Fosdickin its eye are mirrored far off mountainsAlaska, USAVeteran
Comments
^^ Must show my hubby! He's following a LCHF regime with me and does so love - and miss - his sweet treats!
See? Priorities, priorities!
They always lie closer to home than we think!
Hi
Damn. I was soooo 'with them' in that.
.
oh goodness.....yes!
@lobster
Now that I'm older (but refuse to grow up) here's what I've discovered....
ONE - I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
TWO - My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
THREE - I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
FOUR - Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
FIVE - All reports are in, life is now officially unfair.
SIX - If all is not lost, where is it?
SEVEN - It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
EIGHT - Some days you are the dog, some days you're the hydrant.
NINE - I wish the buck stopped here, I sure could use a few.
TEN - Kids in the back seat cause accidents.
ELEVEN - Accidents in the back seat cause kids.
TWELVE - It's hard to make a come back when you haven't been anywhere.
THIRTEEN - The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
FOURTEEN - If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
FIFTEEN - When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
SIXTEEN - It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.
SEVENTEEN - The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
I like number FOUR
Kids have it easy today.
I had to walk 9 feet
through shag carpeting
to change the channel - oy!
(I miss France. The French...? Hmmm...I can take 'em... or leave 'em!)
Some jokes have to be explained for non-Americans
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surf_and_turf
Never came across that term before . . .
If not being boiled alive, I am just a joke
Good one, thanks for the explanation @lobster ...I must admit the joke was lost on me I had never heard of Surf n Turf before ...
Sharing Peanuts
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, 'Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?'. 'We can't chew them because we've no teeth', she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, 'Why do you buy them then?'
The old lady replied, 'We just love the chocolate around them.'
That cracked me up
It is possible to analyse music and understand aspects of its effect and usage. So too with humour. However just as with music and art, explain the joke too much and you kill it. The life of a jokes humour is dependent on how and what is heard. What is consequently made of it is dependent on the capacity and comprehension of the listener.
Jokes explained?
That cracked me up
A nun walked into the local haberdashery and tried to shoplift and entire
bale of black cloth.
The manager caught her, took her into the office telling her he was going to
call the police.
She pleaded and pleaded, promised she'd never do it again
so finally he relented.
He said, "All right. I'll let you off this time. But don't make a habit of it."
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change..
At long last, I've finally solved the koan....
Another version which I like better. Two one to unscrew the bulb the other to unscrew the psychologist.
14 Photos Of People Who Absolutely Cannot Be Trusted:
https://www.buzzfeed.com/jamiejones/people-who-absolutely-cannot-be-trusted?utm_term=.e